Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[indomitable snowman]

Jack just randomly picks and chooses when he wants to show off his carniwhore cred. He will eat pizza this week but like 2-3 weeks ago he decided to remove the bun and eat just the raw elk patties to show how much of a devout carniwhore he is.

Also Jack's life is so sad he pretty much stalks the Fedex/UPS guys.

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At least the FedEx guy can walk, has a job, and can cook better than Jack.

With all the chinesium appliances he has, I'm surprised he hasn't burned down his house.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

The house was built by an idiot and said idiot couldn't make it straightforward.

 

[Super Hans v2]

With all the chinesium appliances he has, I'm surprised he hasn't burned down his house.

Almost did the old place. One time he decided to use a smoker directly against the house and warped the siding.

 

[indomitable snowman]

Almost did the old place. One time he decided to use a smoker directly against the house and warped the siding.

Burnt on the outside, raw on the inside. Just like his food.

 

[ZipDisk]

Jack's throat tried to kill him for all the shit he continues to shove down it. CARNIVORE!

I could totally see Tammy still dragging Jack to all the riverwalk restaurants as he silently seethes. That's the video I want.
Maybe Junior could eat Jack's plate of food for once.

All of the websites Jack visits likely have floating video ads.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Nothing to miss really. Alltough he said he nearly went to Urgent Care at his Disneyland Visit due to the worsening condition. Alltough, who fucking knows? I think he's bluffing to come off as a stronk man.

If he literally couldn't talk then that's a neurological issue and it's only going to get worse. It could have been an ischemic problem where the speech center of his brain wasn't getting the blood it needed but not enough to actually damage it. Or maybe it was the part that controlled his larynx.

Long story short he's circling the drain at this point. Guy literally doesn't have much longer to live.

I'm surprised he made it this far but I'd be more surprised if he wound up making it to next year.

 

[Tiresome]

The wendigo will inhabit the rotting carcass as long as there are fleshmeats to consume.

 

[mawrieposter]

I'd be more surprised if he wound up making it to next year.

You know how there's 100 year olds who say their secret is a daily cigarette? Jack figured it out. Undercooked meat, rotten food, and cross-contaminated utensils ended up turning his immune system into an autoclave. He has to somehow make it

 

[Woggie's child bride]

I'm not sure if it's me or Jack who's more retarded but propane burns pretty clean so can be used indoors right? Either way 750 is on the low end for pizza ovens,

 

[Marc]

Imagine bitching that the mcmansion you had build has a shitty layout.
YOU ORDERED IT THIS WAY YOU STUPID FUCKING BASTARD!

Jack is no less qualified in architecture and home design than he is in anything else he publicly pretends to know. That neoplastic pole barn/grill mausoleum is the Groverhaus as executed by a buttery retard in a wheelchair too proud to either make the place wheelchair-accessible or admit that he cut what must have been a hundred thousand dollars' worth of corners as the construction went along. Should it then be any surprise that Jack can't open his own front door, that there's a twelve inch pizza oven on a big tree stump in the extra, personalized kitchen full of custom cabinetry with measurements wildly differing from the installed appliances and somehow all out of Jack's reach, or that there's an extra shower head for anyone standing behind Jack in the shower while they're forced to operate the faucet in front of him? Are we to infer that Jack somehow didn't think this "reach-around shower" concept through?

The only personal touch in designing a new residence which could have plausibly made sense for Jack would have been to make it a grave (specifically, the Chernobyl sarcophagus). In lieu of that, the end result couldn't help but be a Winchester Mystery House for fat retards.

I'm not sure if it's me or Jack who's more retarded but propane burns pretty clean so can be used indoors right? Either way 750 is on the low end for pizza ovens,

Jack doesn't know either of those things, and felt the need to purchase and review an "indoor pizza oven" (actually a countertop toaster oven with a convection fan) for the sake of a video in which he wasted time reiterating that his fake diet doesn't allow him to eat pizza (before burning his mouth with a sloppy bite because he's a liar), then summing up his review of the appliance and the edibility of its product with "You know how you go to the restaurants...they got the ovens? This is it." Then he linked to the abandoned crowdfunding page for the product, instead of its actual product page on Amazon. I bet that company can't wait for Jack to endorse another of their products.

 

[Chunky Salsa]

You know how there's 100 year olds who say their secret is a daily cigarette? Jack figured it out. Undercooked meat, rotten food, and cross-contaminated utensils ended up turning his immune system into an autoclave. He has to somehow make it

Jack has an active Tyrant gene. It's the only explanation that makes sense. The T-Virus awakened it in him.

 

[lindsayfan]

Nothing to miss really. Alltough he said he nearly went to Urgent Care at his Disneyland Visit due to the worsening condition. Alltough, who fucking knows? I think he's bluffing to come off as a stronk man.

"after the stroke i feel like i'm drunk every day. i'm talking to you right now-- my vision's a little blurred, my head's not all clear, it feels like i've had a drink or two at all times."

TICK TOCK, JACKIE BOY

 

[Falcon Sebben]

"after the stroke i feel like i'm drunk every day. i'm talking to you right now-- my vision's a little blurred, my head's not all clear, it feels like i've had a drink or two at all times."

TICK TOCK, JACKIE BOY

Yeah that's because his brain is turning to mush. When you feel like that every day it means your brain is fucked up.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Yeah that's because his brain is turning to mush. When you feel like that every day it means your brain is fucked up.

His brain shows up in his food. Canned chicken is the closest in consistency to his brain.

 

[The Stranger]

When Jack finally goes to hell Satan is going to slow cook him with all the smokers he abandoned for all eternity. Gobbless

 

[Doctor of Autism]

When Jack finally goes to hell Satan is going to slow cook him with all the smokers he abandoned for all eternity. Gobbless

I'm pretty sure if Jack was going to Hell he'd be there already.

We all know that Satan doesn't even want him because his meat would be too rotten even for him, and we all know why he won't be in Heaven.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Not trying to PL but I used to bartend at a VFW. Jack is like most of those guys that spend all day every day there; they lived on Budweiser tallboys, cigarettes, and greasy burgers, and would live to 90, whereas the people who actually took care of themselves would croak around 75.

 

[Aunt Carol]

When Jack finally goes to hell Satan is going to slow cook him with all the smokers he abandoned for all eternity. Gobbless

The Twilight Zone ending would be a slow pull-out revealing Jack surrounded by smokers for yards and yards and... miles. He's been in Hell all along, and he just hasn't realized it yet. Oh well; he has an eternity. The best cooking is low and slow.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

At least the FedEx guy can walk, has a job, and can cook better than Jack.

With all the chinesium appliances he has, I'm surprised he hasn't burned down his house.

He’s cooking stegg in the Beetza oven. That’s a grease fire in the making.

 

[densedance]