Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

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  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 257 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,378

A carnivore steak sauce sounds like the worst shit ever. It would just be water and 'meat flour' - basically finely ground plain jerky.

But I did a quick google and this was the first result, which looks pretty close, just a little more golden. Butter (not carnivore), cream cheese (not carnivore), beef broth (if it's plain and not processed, sure), truffle (not carnivore) and salt (allowable).

And did a bag of chicken nuggets cause one of Jack's strokes? He always gets pissy over the strangest things.
 
A carnivore steak sauce sounds like the worst shit ever. It would just be water and 'meat flour' - basically finely ground plain jerky.

But I did a quick google and this was the first result, which looks pretty close, just a little more golden. Butter (not carnivore), cream cheese (not carnivore), beef broth (if it's plain and not processed, sure), truffle (not carnivore) and salt (allowable).

And did a bag of chicken nuggets cause one of Jack's strokes? He always gets pissy over the strangest things.
He probably went out to a restaurant and ordered a plate of wings and got upset when all they had were the boneless ones so he couldn't pretend they were carnivore.

And only cheap steaks need steak sauce.
 
You will notice that it ruined his video plans, not his vacation plans.

Jack Scalfani would totally scoot around Islands of Adventure spreading whatever he had to everyone.

Though I know you were referring to Jack spreading germs, I immediately pictured him riding his scooter around Universal Studios Orlando and struggling to use one arm to both steer and spread his exposed anus. In either case, "super spreader" applies.
 
And did a bag of chicken nuggets cause one of Jack's strokes? He always gets pissy over the strangest things.
Recently the Ohio Supreme Court threw out a lawsuit where a man had ordered boneless wings and upon eating one, a bone got stuck in his throat and he had to go to the ER. The injustices said that "boneless" doesn't refer to the lack of bones but to how they're cooked.
 
Recently the Ohio Supreme Court threw out a lawsuit where a man had ordered boneless wings and upon eating one, a bone got stuck in his throat and he had to go to the ER. The injustices said that "boneless" doesn't refer to the lack of bones but to how they're cooked.
I thought that was really stupid logic. Sorry, if you call something "boneless," it means without bones. That's what the word means.

OTOH "chew yo food nigga" is reasonable.
 
Recently the Ohio Supreme Court threw out a lawsuit where a man had ordered boneless wings and upon eating one, a bone got stuck in his throat and he had to go to the ER. The injustices said that "boneless" doesn't refer to the lack of bones but to how they're cooked.
How fucking stupid do you have to be to not even chew your damn food before swallowing?
 
OTOH "chew yo food nigga" is reasonable.
How fucking stupid do you have to be to not even chew your damn food before swallowing?
Regardless, it's not the judge's jobs to determine matter of fact. They denied him his right to make his case before a jury. BUUUUUT I digress.
 
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Actually I think that is his job. To determine the lawfulness of a case.
Matter of law = "No, what you are suing for is not illegal. Dismissed."
Matter of fact = "What you are suing for is illegal, however I don't think the ebidance is sufficient. Dismissed."
Matter of fact is for the jury to decide.
 
He probably went out to a restaurant and ordered a plate of wings and got upset when all they had were the boneless ones so he couldn't pretend they were carnivore.

And only cheap steaks need steak sauce.
Jack most likely thinks boneless wings have less meat so he's not getting enough food to gurgle down. Even though he's not supposed to eat either on his diet.
 
Don’t die Jack I need to laugh at your fat crippled crybaby ass when I’m on vacation next week.

Also, you need to suffer more.

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Hmmm...

C'mon, this joke is too easy not to make.

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Jack most likely thinks boneless wings have less meat so he's not getting enough food to gurgle down. Even though he's not supposed to eat either on his diet.
No it's because there's no bones so that means it's printed meat and therefore evil and Illuminati confirmed, 666, Hail Satan and all the rest.

Fatty is just being a retard.
 

Jack jokes about how me may have to give up carnivore for this pizza, says 'no, I'm just kidding', then gives up carnivore (again) to taste test the pizza.
The sausage on top is burnt and then crust appears underdone.
He paid $4.39 for the premade crust.
Can't be asked to watch the whole thing so I clicked to the half way point in the video (~3;25), which is just in time to hear someone audibly cough.
 
Actually I think that is his job. To determine the lawfulness of a case.
Right, law. But for matters of fact, like what a reasonable person would believe on reading the word "boneless," is a matter of fact. The right to a trial by jury on matters of fact is guaranteed by the Seventh Amendment. The judge declared his personal opinion to be the actual law, which it isn't.
 
Manages to have barely cooked the dough(shit still looks like it'll be raw due to how long he left the door open letting all of the heat out), and still manages to burn the fucking toppings.
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Look at that carnivore of a man using his tongue like an herbivore to scoop cheese into his face.
 
Jack just randomly picks and chooses when he wants to show off his carniwhore cred. He will eat pizza this week but like 2-3 weeks ago he decided to remove the bun and eat just the raw elk patties to show how much of a devout carniwhore he is.

Also Jack's life is so sad he pretty much stalks the Fedex/UPS guys.

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Well Fatty, maybe next time don't build a house with a stupid layout. They put it on the porch, that's where it should go.

edit: HAHAHAHA

Fatty may have actually managed to get this one for free, since it was some bullshit flexible funding(in other words, even if they don't meet the goal, they still get the money) indiegogo campaign to probably just dropship some chinese pizza ovens, that was fucking cancelled. He's so fucking dumb he linked the cancelled indiegogo page instead of the damned amazon product page https://www.amazon.com/G-HOMEFAVOR-Electric-Countertop-Included/dp/B0DH4CG13D
 
Manages to have barely cooked the dough(shit still looks like it'll be raw due to how long he left the door open letting all of the heat out), and still manages to burn the fucking toppings.
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Look at that carnivore of a man using his tongue like an herbivore to scoop cheese into his face.
The most elaborate kitchen gadgets will always be wasted on him because he doesn’t bother reading the user manual thoroughly (assuming he at least glances at that).

This is standard Jack fare though. He will manage to simultaneously burn one thing while undercooking the other. At least he topped the pizza with sausage and not chicken though. Had he used chicken, he most likely would’ve put it on raw and in big chunks, resulting in a burnt outside and a raw inside. That’s about the only positive I can say about that pizza. It would still not taste good, but at least you won’t risk getting salmonella.
 
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