Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Captain Manning]

Well Dickers and Mutahar just appeared in a Netflix documentary called Biggest Heist Ever.

Mutahar, okay. But Dickers? Really?

Damn, I guess Netflix really does have low standards. That really does lessen Nick's achievement.

 

[God's strongest milkman]

Wait so the house gets an offer right as Null is moving back to America? Hmmm.

 

[AN/ALR56]

I guess they offered $300,000, which will be dropped to 120k once they learn of the demonic succubus lurking within, furnished by swinger décor.

I don't know. I just thought some allowance was in order once I heard about the Minnesota six. [everyone stops] The one that used to be in the basement. I looked over your signed disclosure statements, and I don't see any mention of a demonic succubus [flips through them] Nope... oh, you got your termite inspection! That's good... but no succubus . Now, some would call that fraud in service of concealing a felony. I, myself, am more open-minded, but... it is tricky. And don't get me wrong: I applaud your cojones! I mean, good try of sneaking a cocaine contaminated property past the buyer. I mean... tsk, could have been a good deal for you. Too bad. Now, I could file a suit and encumber this property indefinitely, or I could start some criminal proceedings, but I don't think any of us want that, now do we? How about it, counselor? Do you concur?

 

[repentance]

Oh shit everyone......April has got to move the fuck out of the balldo house of horror!!!


After 118 days someone has put an offer on it.

@ItsAaronIgnoreMe

How long does settlement take in the US? Six weeks from exchange of contracts is the default here, although you can increase or decrease that by mutual agreement.

 

[Edward Teach]

How long does settlement take in the US? Six weeks from exchange of contracts is the default here, although you can increase or decrease that by mutual agreement.

Usually 30 days, First week is going to be the inspection period for the buyer. 2nd week is any additional negotiation about what was found during the inspection. Last 2 weeks is the loan going through underwriting and closing. If it is a cash offer instead of a load then it could close sooner. Once it closes the price paid will become public record and we can see what the sales price was.

 

[Major]

Would this be a freehold property? If it's not, would nick own the lease? Imagine paying land rent to coke fiend

 

[Salubrious]

Yes! I need smug conceited asshole Nick back. This infusion of cash will be what he needs to get his mojo back and be funny and weird again.

Going to be interesting to see how much he gets for it but regardless it will buy a mountain of cocaine!

Would Nick even get any money from it? Does he own it or does the trust/his parents own it?

 

[Captain Manning]

Would this be a freehold property? If it's not, would nick own the lease? Imagine paying land rent to coke fiend

It's a straight up sale of the property. Not a lease.

 

[Pagan Min]

Didn't realize that today's Li'l Nicky's birthday! Maybe he can give everyone else a present today & do *ahem* something with that knife he was supposed to auction off for Vic! (Just remember, Nick -- it's down the road, not across the street!)

On a more serious note, I really do hope that Monty puts a lien on Nick's property, as was suggested earlier. Not only would it be hilarious, but it's about the only way Monty will get paid... Well, aside from having to go through collections, but he might as well wait until after he wins the entire case for that to happen...

 

[DemsBNutz]

It's me.

I bought the house.

I confess.

My plan is on day 1 I'm gonna walk next door and say "Howdy neighbor! Can I borrow a cup of 'powdered sugar'?"

i think you over paid

 

[LimeRikki]

Happy birthday Nick! There's not a single person in your life who "loves" you who doesn't have some kind of ulterior motive like sucking your dick to get more cocaine!

Your wife hates you. Your in laws hate you. Though they'll never admit it deep down, your parents hate you. Your church hates you. Your community hates you. And if your children don't hate you yet, that's only because right now they're too young to understand why they ought to.

But anyway, like I said, happy birthday, champ!

 

[WelperHelper99]

Happy Birthday Nick. Don't go wild with your partying, don't want to give the kids coke again!

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

I know people always point it out but it is wild to me how crazy Celeste Rekieta looks in every single photograph. I know not everyone is photogenic, but the fact she is always showing the top whites of her eyes is just very off-putting. Looks genuienly insane. Also it looks like she smiles with gritted teeth as well, who does that?

Absolutely none of the women in this Greek comedy can smile normally. Celeste looks insane, Whore has a perpetual case of Bell’s palsy, Qayla now looks like she’s sealed in Saran Wrap… it’s a hot mess.

 

[demicolon]

Your wife hates you. Your in laws hate you. Though they'll never admit it deep down, your parents hate you. Your church hates you. Your community hates you. And if your children don't hate you yet, that's only because right now they're too young to understand why they ought to.

YOU'RE DEAD
RICARDO IS DEAD
ROMAINE IS DEAD
YOUR DEALERS ARE DEAD
YOUR KIDS ARE BEING ASSIGNED TO MELTON
YOUR WIFE'S A FUCKING WHORE
YOU SUCK AT DRIVING
THE WHOLE LAWTUBE HATES YOU
YOU'RE GOING TO REHAB
POUR YOURSELF A TALL ONE

BIRTHDAY'S OVER​

 

[Major]

I know what to get Nick for Christmas. A new lawsuit! Montegraph has one on its way to you now. Enjoy!

 

[Salubrious]

YOU'RE DEAD
RICARDO IS DEAD
ROMAINE IS DEAD
YOUR DEALERS ARE DEAD
YOUR KIDS ARE BEING ASSIGNED TO MELTON
YOUR WIFE'S A FUCKING WHORE
YOU SUCK AT DRIVING
THE WHOLE LAWTUBE HATES YOU
YOU'RE GOING TO REHAB
POUR YOURSELF A TALL ONE

BIRTHDAY'S OVER​

Ok, relax AM.

Nick has a mouth and must scream constantly.

 

[Horrified Bystander]

With today being Rickety Rackets The Rail King’s birthday and the day before his plea, I think we may see some sperging out in the various pedo-zones he frequents. You know what that means. Alogs! Start! Your! Archives!!!

 

[Melty Butter]

The look she has in some of the pictures that have been posted in this thread is unsettling in a way. I know the subject has been touched on before, but what could be the reasoning for this? Is this possibly a side effect of some medication she is taking? Do some people just not possess the ability to smile properly and they come off looking like psychos? How does she look back on these pictures and think, "Yeah, that looks good. I'll stick with that look when taking photos." SO WEIRD!

I have a whole theory about this, but I will spoil it for those who are tired of April.

TLDR: There are 4 stages and the contrasts are striking. She's an uneducated girl with a pretty face. Enter the Internet. She became increasingly performative and sexual. It's a sad story.

Note: I've tried to be fair and representative of each stage with the pics I've featured. Whenever her face is cropped out, APRIL did that.

Spoiler: Stage 1 2017-2018 - Sweet Country Girl & Devin

Devin was her boyfriend before Aaron. During this period she presented as sweet, genuine and authentic.


Important: Pics of Devin drop off after Nov. 2018 and there are only 7 posts until Aaron appears in Oct. 2020. That means almost 2 years of barely posting on IG. Aaron has reported that it was a bad breakup.

During this quiet post-Devin/pre-Aaron period, in Jan. of 2019 she reposted this Joe Rogan quote without comment. It has vague undertones of drug use and foreshadows distinctly what is happening today. (My highlighting.)

Spoiler: Stage 2 Oct. 2020 - Early 2024: Sexy Online Wife

As I've previously noted, during this period she posted almost frantically about her Vegas wedding. As for selfies, they shift to more sexy, sometimes lonely and performatively pensive as if she was playing a fierce, hot, sexy married woman (or something).

Spoiler: Stage 2a 2023 - The Simpcast THOT Period (overlaps with Aaron)

Pics turn distinctly sexual, and performative.

We know now that tensions with Ashley were ratcheting up during this period. She started posting dozens of pics with Aaron's kids (not shown here but many are sweet) and this maddening post celebrating her own Mother's Day and invoking "two parents" (there were four).

Spoiler: Stage 3 2024: Nick Era - Today + Conclusions

When Nick took the pics (first three), April poses as if a model and, well, an object. The selfies appear sad, lonely and desperate with a brief THOT pic (Nick did not comment on that one).





And, as we know, there are embarrassing efforts to communicate with Nick.


Conclusion:

• She wasn't always a sad and desperate person. The Internet + drugs + men + (probably) depression reveal a sad descent.
• The Simpcast issue is usually ignored but that period demonstrates a sharp shift in April's unraveling.
• Aaron has spoken at length about his mistakes with April. They seem on point: She should never have been on STMS. She couldn't handle the Internet blowback.
• There is a side story about her weight. Aaron has said she used to regularly exercise 5x/week at their gym. She is obsessed with being under 120 lbs. Like Kayla, she seemed healthier and happier with a few more pounds on her. This pic is from before Aaron:

• Speaking of Kayla, a similar and parallel story can be told. It's not a stretch to say that Nick and Aaron suck the life out of their women. Were April and Kayla damaged before the men entered the picture? Probably. Did the women both make terrible decisions? Definitely. Sadly, the men didn't help. Quite the opposite.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Faggot bar is closed on Monday. Tough luck, Balldo.

They probably still haven't fixed everything from the fire damage anyway. That'll happen when you pack in that many flamers and pricks into a small space.

 

[Oxyjen]

I have a whole theory about this, but I will spoil it for those who are tired of April.

Good post. The pictures make a tragic tale.

Proximity to the baldo really depletes your life force.