So, I (30F) have been engaged to my fiancé Mark (32M) for about a year and we’ve been together for three years. I’ve always known Mark to be a bit unconventional; he’s very creative and sometimes takes things a little too far in the name of surprise or excitement. Most of the time, I love his adventurous spirit, but this time? Not so much.
A couple of weeks ago, we had a small get-together with some close friends to celebrate our upcoming wedding. Mark had mentioned that he had a surprise for me, which I figured would be something sweet, like a heartfelt gift or maybe a romantic gesture. Well, as the night went on, after a few drinks, Mark finally revealed his “gift.”
He pulled out what looked like a box from a special jewelry store. My heart raced with excitement as I assumed it was a lovely bracelet or a special memento for our wedding day. But when he opened the box, I was absolutely stunned. Inside was a key to a house he supposedly bought for us. I was taken aback because I had no idea he was even looking for real estate. My first reaction was one of shock and confusion, as I thought it was a huge decision that we should have discussed together.
As I processed the moment, I realized the house wasn’t just any house—it was a fixer-upper on the outskirts of town. Now, I get that it can be a great investment, but this particular house needed a ton of work. I’m talking major renovations and repairs, and I honestly had no desire to live there. Mark had not consulted me at all before making this purchase, and I felt blindsided.
Normally, I would be overjoyed about investing in our future together, but the fact that he had made such a significant commitment without me crushed me. I quietly took the key and told him we needed to talk about this. As we stepped outside, I expressed how hurt I felt that he had made such a big decision without discussing it with me first and that it felt like a violation of trust.
Mark got defensive and insisted that this was a wonderful surprise—a way for us to start our lives together. He said I was missing the bigger picture and that I should be excited about our future. Honestly, I just felt overwhelmed and confused. I told him I didn’t think we were ready for this and that we should focus on our wedding first.
After a heated argument, I made the gut-wrenching decision to call off the wedding. Mark was devastated, and our friends were shocked. I had just ruined what was supposed to be a happy night, and I felt horrible. Since then, Mark has been trying to reach out, saying he wishes we could talk it over, but I can’t shake the feeling that he disrespected my feelings and my input in our relationship.
I’ve been reflecting on whether I overreacted. AITAH for calling off the wedding after his surprise “gift”?
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