Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

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  • April-May 2024

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    Votes: 18 1.3%
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  • December 2024

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  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 257 18.7%
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  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,377
CARNIVORE STEAK SAUCE
(12/20/24)


Original:
Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=GepcgENBF8k
"I wonder if they know I'm a chuck steak" yes you fat retard, we know you've been gorging on raw chuck roast all fucking year pretending that it's steak.
Why does fatty need a what is that, nest camera watching his kitchen? Is Tammy using that as a baby monitor in case he falls over when she walks out of the room?
Nasty looking seezning
He's moved the camera again, now it's pointed toward the stove? Burnt BUDDUR and cream cheese... yep totally carnivore(looks fucking vile), and Tammy has to stand there holding the blender lid while he's tasting it. Thinks truffle salt adds sweetness... this man's tastebuds have been broken for a long time but holy shit.
LIDERULY a minute and a half, calls it a fucking chuck roast instead of steak. Thinks it'll take longer
"it said minute and a half but I do rare so sooner" then adds a minute to the timer. Tammy can't saw through it because it's so fucking raw, and she's using a dull chinese knife.
Coats the "steak" in his nasty sauce "THIZ IZ AMAZIG SEEZNING SAUCE IT ALL WORKS" points out it's 7am and he's going to eat a fucking 2 pound (at least) cut of chuck roast for breakfast.

I don't think Fatty could make a single video more representative of the state of his channel for the year if he wanted to on purpose.
 
CARNIVORE STEAK SAUCE
(12/20/24)


Original:
Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=GepcgENBF8k
That “steak sauce” looks like Jack’s colostrum or something, gross.

Is it just me or does this video have considerably more effort put into it than they usually do? Different camera angles, more cheap Windows Movie Maker effects than usual, and Jack even tries to bring back the TV show larp for a bit. Maybe Jr.’s started editing videos for his fat disabled faggot father?

Also LOL @1:20 “You saw us do the pizza… we did the pizza” amazing commentary
 
People have been screeching for a couple days about processed cheese food in this thread, but one thing we all have in common, we're not putting fucking POWDERED CHARCOAL on our meat. Christ that looks disgusting, only Jack would be retarded enough to think this shit looks good, raw OR done.

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"I wonder if they know I'm a chuck steak" yes you fat retard, we know you've been gorging on raw chuck roast all fucking year pretending that it's steak.
Why does fatty need a what is that, nest camera watching his kitchen? Is Tammy using that as a baby monitor in case he falls over when she walks out of the room?
Nasty looking seezning
He's moved the camera again, now it's pointed toward the stove? Burnt BUDDUR and cream cheese... yep totally carnivore(looks fucking vile), and Tammy has to stand there holding the blender lid while he's tasting it. Thinks truffle salt adds sweetness... this man's tastebuds have been broken for a long time but holy shit.
LIDERULY a minute and a half, calls it a fucking chuck roast instead of steak. Thinks it'll take longer
"it said minute and a half but I do rare so sooner" then adds a minute to the timer. Tammy can't saw through it because it's so fucking raw, and she's using a dull chinese knife.
Coats the "steak" in his nasty sauce "THIZ IZ AMAZIG SEEZNING SAUCE IT ALL WORKS" points out it's 7am and he's going to eat a fucking 2 pound (at least) cut of chuck roast for breakfast.

I don't think Fatty could make a single video more representative of the state of his channel for the year if he wanted to on purpose.

No matter how much your life sucks, you aren't beholden to the demands of a meat golem commanding you to make him a meal of a large slab of meat and cream cheese butter sauce in the early morning.

Jack Jr: It's 4 o'clock in the morning, why on earth are you making chuck roast?
Tammy: Because I've lost control of my life
 
CARNIVORE STEAK SAUCE
(12/20/24)


Original:
Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=GepcgENBF8k
Everything was wrong with this.

Cooking chuck as a steak. Dumping the entire bottle of seasoning on it. Saying you don't want the butter to burn and he burns it. Says the steak looks amazing and it looks like shit. Fucking truffle salt of all things. And that sauce looked rancid. Hammy having to saw through the meat because it's from the chuck and isn't meant to be eaten like that. It's what you make pot roast with.

Meanwhile he's fatter than ever but still claims that carnivore is healthy.

I'm just skipping around and what the actual fuck? A whole pack of cream cheese? This much butter?
Just deglaze your steak pan with the broth, add a spoon of butter and maybe a little bit of heavy cream of you eat it extra rich and voila you're done.
Exactly. Personally I do red wine, freshly cracked black pepper and heavy cream but you have maybe a couple tablespoons of that on your steak. Not the bowl of it that you know he just drank when the camera was off.

Carob bean gum is carnivore?
Everything is carnivore if he says it is.
 
I know the wendigo will keep Jack still stuffing garbage down his throat in 2055, but 3:24 of the carnivore sauce video is exceptionally telling. He has to push himself away from the counter just to change his position, and then he gurgles "You're gonna POOR the budder in the blen..." and then he loses his words as he pants from the exertion of shuffling his bulk four inches, coupled with another drag of the dead foot across the floor. Immediate cut to Tammy dumping motor oil budder from the pot. I don't know why I'm always amazed that this revenant is still pumping out videos that just get worse and worse.
 
Better carnivore steak sauces would be something like a demiglace or a hollandaise sauce. A truffle butter made with just truffles, butter, salt, and pepper would be better than what he made even if it's not carnivore. Something about the truffle salt just sounds wrong.
Truffle salt is wrong. It's what poor people think rich people eat.

The demiglace and hollandaise are beyond him. He'd have been better off making a pan sauce with the bone broth and whatever than this monstrosity.

As for the burned butter? He's all about the butter now to help lubricate the juicy meats that he shoves down his throat.
 
Who the fuck cooks a whole chuck roast and eats it like a steak?

Jack thinks a pure fat sauce is "really gud" and enjoys what must be a tough piece of nearly flavorless shit. Guy has no sense of taste, texture, or presentation. Absolutely nothing you would want in someone instructing others in cooking.

That "Best Prime Steak Rub" is a horror show on its own. If anyone is wondering why it looks like black mold, its is a horror show of charcoal powder, "grill flavor," and msg.

View attachment 6773860
Is that real?

That’s not food. That’s pharmacology.
 
As per usual, Jack is fucking disgusting, retarded, and visibly dying. Who else should I expect a 7am chuck roast covered in Toppik and dunked in jizz next to a pizza oven from but this malignant tumor of a human being?

In case anyone doesn't know how to brown butter: Heat over (at most) medium heat until it reaches 270*F/132*C, then immediately take it off the heat. An infrared thermometer makes this simple as all hell.

At standard atmospheric pressure, we know that the boiling temperature of the water constituting around 20% of commercially-produced butter is 212*F/100*C - This means that the bulk of the time spent waiting on butter to brown is due to the water needing to boil off before the butterfat is free to continue heating to the target temperature (that's what the foaming stage is). Once up to temperature and removed from heat, you'll want to allow the browned butter to cool for several minutes before either using or filtering it, for what I hope are obvious safety reasons to do with pouring boiling oil into things. So long as you wait for the butter to melt and evenly heat through over a medium or med/low flame, you won't need to film yourself whisking up a witches' brew like this worm-infested fuck did in order to show off his technique for burning butter.

Don't be a Jack and whisk it for no reason (which he probably only did to work up an appetite), over high heat for no reason, and then burnt the fuck out of it anyway.

Jagoff's "carnivore steak sauce" (actually burnbuddur n CREEMCHEEZ) is, like the rest of his life, utterly pointless and undesired: As others have pointed out, you can make any number of pan sauces for your steak without veggies or flour. But because I've never made such a calorie-dense dish under pretensions of healthy eating, my FAVOR pan sauce is a brandy au poivre. I slice the steak into strips, toss it in some of the sauce, and enjoy it as a poutine served over herb and parmesan-seasoned kennebec fries I've cooked in duck fat. Jack would probably describe it as "gud."

"Anything carnivore-friendly is also keto-friendly." Meanwhile, Jack's organs are little more than buoys in a sea of ascites fluid.

one thing we all have in common, we're not putting fucking POWDERED CHARCOAL on our meat.

Believe it or not, ground coconut shell charcoal has its place; and is actually useful when using a common oven to replicate the bark you otherwise only get from a smoker recipe (e.g., let's say you're making a cookout brisket or chicken in a vacation house's kitchen, and didn't tow a smoker with you on the back of your scooty puff). Of course, Jack is only using the charcoal as pretense for the corn syrup solids he actually craves.
 
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Now if you want something truly great to do with browned butter though, make cookies. I make gingerbread-spiced ones for the holidays that end up crinkled and crisp on the outside with a perfectly chewy, soft-toffee-like middle and they have just a world of added flavor thanks to the browned butter. Even bog-standard chocolate chip cookies, though, are amazing with the stuff.
 
You could hypothetically make a decentish steak out of chuck, but you'd need an acidic marinade base or something with digestive enzymes that demolish proteins.

Like I could for example see using something like Dr. pepper mixed with worcester sauce and beef broth as a base for the marinade, with basic seasoning like salt, pepper and garlic in the mix. Let that sit in its acids for about an hour and it'd likely do well as a mediocre steak once you sear that bad boy. It works a hell of a lot better with Pork though, since it'd be a sweet flavor to add alongside the herbs.

Either that or you pulp a papaya or pineapple and let their enzymes go to work on the chuck for about a half hour; that'd also do decent work after you wash it clean.

But you'd do better just making a pot roast out of it, or cutting it up for a texas style chili. Not that it'd be much good given fatboy can't enjoy the great things you serve with its broth gravy, like carrots, onions, and potatoes. And he's fucking terrified and refuses to make the latter for some reason.

As for the sauce, it's just further proof he likes chunky, sour milk like shit. If you had to put a gun to my head to make a carnie sauce, I'd probably just take the beef drippings and mix with butter as a glace. Whoever suggested cream has a good idea, though you'd need herbs to make it work at its best, which misses the point.

And using a pizza oven for this? pretty stupid and really just comes off as Jack trying to justify why he has it out as he burns DiGiorno off camera and horks it down endlessly.
 
And using a pizza oven for this? pretty stupid and really just comes off as Jack trying to justify why he has it out as he burns DiGiorno off camera and horks it down endlessly.

I want to point out that the "pizza" oven Mr. Carnivore asked Santa for has been sitting on his kitchen island for at least seven days, and now has a bunch of steak splatters and charcoal rub in the interior to smoke out the household every day that Jack gurgles "TAMMY!...PIZZA!" from his dog blanket on the sofa.

Will Tammy having herniated her scrotum setting it up there the first time be why we continue to see a convection toaster oven taller than Jack take up most of the frame in future videos - Or will it follow so many other gimmick appliances to the graveyard on the rear patio, never again to be seen or mentioned outside of Google Earth?
 
Cooking chuck as a steak.
You can have it cut as a steak and cook it as such. A 24 hour sous vide at 135 or so will do the trick. It's still not going to be filet mignon or anything but it's credible as a steak. This is where you'd want USDA prime, though, for the slight extra marbling. One thing I don't recommend is coating it in burned charcoal ash. Wtf?
Let that sit in its acids for about an hour and it'd likely do well as a mediocre steak once you sear that bad boy.
That's pretty much it. It's not going to be phenomenal, but it's a reasonable steak and if chuck's on special, just fine. My usual use for that is pot roast though, or any kind of slow braising dish with loads of veggies that will last a week.

Jack would rather be a stroked-out paralyzed retard than ever touch a veggie though.
Believe it or not, ground coconut shell charcoal has its place; and is actually useful when using a common oven to replicate the bark you otherwise only get from a smoker recipe (e.g., let's say you're making a cookout brisket or chicken in a vacation house's kitchen, and didn't tow a smoker with you on the back of your scooty puff).
Seems like people use this specific stuff as a finisher for brisket.
 
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You can have it cut as a steak and cook it as such. A 24 hour sous vide at 135 or so will do the trick. It's still not going to be filet mignon or anything but it's credible as a steak. This is where you'd want USDA prime, though, for the slight extra marbling. One thing I don't recommend is coating it in burned charcoal ash. Wtf?

That's pretty much it. It's not going to be phenomenal, but it's a reasonable steak and if chuck's on special, just fine. My usual use for that is pot roast though, or any kind of slow braising dish with loads of veggies that will last a week.
Jack has upped his game he's now making the food taste burnt with the ash even before cooking.
 
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