Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Barbarella]

Also, I very well may be extremely late & gay on this but have these severely unflattering ‘paparazzi’ pics of Tess at the beach in 2019 been posted here before?

They have but it is always nauseating to see them again. I doubt she can move like that these days. Picking her wedgie out of her ass is likely impossible.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Also, I very well may be extremely late & gay on this but have these severely unflattering ‘paparazzi’ pics of Tess at the beach in 2019 been posted here before?

Spoiler: Wedgie-picking ahead

View attachment 6778659
View attachment 6778660
View attachment 6778661

Thanks for this. Every time these pictures are posted there's always something new and horrifying that's uncovered. I will say I never noticed how her thighs have a visible discolouration from chafing. I can't imagine how that actually looks now.

 

[Turquoise]

Vote me down but I feel sorry for Tess of the D'Uber-eats.

In a parallel universe the media told her that it's not okay to be obese and she got married at 21 to a farm boy who not only liked his ladies a bit bigger than average but also recognized her potential for transporting heaving equipment around the ranch.

She's a product of this godforsaken era and she's been used, abused and spat out like a stray vegetable that found its way onto one of her triple cheese pizzas.

I hope she bags herself a nice god-fearing fatty feeder and finds some kind of inner peace in the years she has left.

 

[The Hardest R]

Vote me down but I feel sorry for Tess of the D'Uber-eats.

In a parallel universe the media told her that it's not okay to be obese and she got married at 21 to a farm boy who not only liked his ladies a bit bigger than average but also recognized her potential for transporting heaving equipment around the ranch.

She's a product of this godforsaken era and she's been used, abused and spat out like a stray vegetable that found its way onto one of her triple cheese pizzas.

I hope she bags herself a nice god-fearing fatty feeder and finds some kind of inner peace in the years she has left.

This is just dumb, sorry.

Also, I very well may be extremely late & gay on this but have these severely unflattering ‘paparazzi’ pics of Tess at the beach in 2019 been posted here before?

Yep, they sure have. Keep in mind this is over a hundred pounds ago. She hasn’t posted any photos on the beach for a long time because she wouldn’t be able to get up without a lot of help these days.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Vote me down but I feel sorry for Tess of the D'Uber-eats.

In a parallel universe the media told her that it's not okay to be obese and she got married at 21 to a farm boy who not only liked his ladies a bit bigger than average but also recognized her potential for transporting heaving equipment around the ranch.

She's a product of this godforsaken era and she's been used, abused and spat out like a stray vegetable that found its way onto one of her triple cheese pizzas.

I hope she bags herself a nice god-fearing fatty feeder and finds some kind of inner peace in the years she has left.

There is no way in hell. She is too vapid, too self-centered and too stupid. She will spend her upcoming years trying to tell herself it's everyone else that's the problem be it a fat phobic society or patriarchy, not her and her shitty choices she's made. The thing is, evennif she had stayed at a her svelte 230ish elbees, she still would be miserable because she is a miserable shitty human through and through. Who would want to marry that, other than another miserable shitty human?

 

[Dean Pentel]

Who would want to marry that, other than another miserable shitty human?

Probably a hard sell even then.

 

[The Hardest R]

The best she was able to do was Nick Brady, a bisexual chubby chaser looking for a green card. She was embarrassed enough about his background to lie about who he was.

There is no redemption arc for Tubby Tess Hoolliday. These non-modeling activities she’s doing is just because she is extremely desperate to get signed onto any kind of modeling contract. Having to live out of a hotel mean she’s in dire straits. In about half a year, she turns 40. 2025 is going to be a very tough year for her.

 

[Turquoise]

I wonder if Tess finished her TED talk in the same way pro-obesity campaigner Victoria Welsby finished hers, leading to a violation of Swiss public decency laws.

 

[xogossipgorl]

I wonder if Tess finished her TED talk in the same way pro-obesity campaigner Victoria Welsby finished hers, leading to a violation of Swiss public decency laws.

I thought she might have just accidentally lost a boob from her top, but that was so much worse! And hilarious. If anyone else doesn't know about this Victoria Welsby, just fast forward to the last two minutes of her Ted talk.

Why doesn't Tess do "modeling" the way Anna does, just putting on her own shoots and doing hauls. Surely some sponsors would show up. Does she think she's above that?
Anna is also a Starbucks ambassador, which people say any and all influencers can get, but Tess played herself by oinking about Palestine and apologizing for slipping up and drinking her starbies on camera. If she's not a model and not an influencer, what even is she anymore on social media? I mean, besides a cow.

 

[Constellationzero]

No one will care until they are crammed with your rank flesh pressed against them in an airplane seat, train, or in other close quarters, when they will think, "good lord this woman is enormous, and the stench!"

Someone definitely brought up her smell recently, whether it was a potential cake john who bailed, or someone in Switzerland thinking they were helping her out. She's never before felt a need to declare she aKshUaLly smells really, really amazing, OKAY???

WHO

BROUGHT

THE

TATTOOED

DURIAN???

 

[NoReturn]

She posted a video with Bowie, but I'm not archiving that one.
In it, she mentions he has "his first Jellycat" (expensive stuffed animals), and is eating at Bottega Louie.

The way her vocal fry is trembling, heavy nervous breathing, screams 'I AM NOT confident whatsoever, but tell me otherwise'.

And they did!

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

I wonder if 2025 will be the year of not only the moving back to Mississippi arc, but the getting diabeetus and losing a foot arc. She’s been on a downward spiral for almost half a decade, it’s only going to get worse from here.

 

[The Hardest R]

Tess is too broke to do any hauls. When she was sponsored by Flabletics, she’d just put their clothes on once and that was it. She is very lazy when it comes to DIY modeling, which ultimately shows that she doesn’t care about the modeling itself. She’s only interested in doing high profile things that make her look good. If she had any kind of interest in modeling, she’d be doing her own shoots, I agree. Tess is not that bright so she doesn’t really have ideas of her own. That’s why her brief forays into designing clothing were failures.

I wonder if 2025 will be the year of not only the moving back to Mississippi arc, but the getting diabeetus and losing a foot arc. She’s been on a downward spiral for almost half a decade, it’s only going to get worse from here.

I agree with a number of people here that moving back to Mississippi is the ultimate fail for her because she knows she’d never return to California. I think she will just opt to live in increasingly remote places in Southern California, places that stretch the definition of the Los Angeles metro area further than her ass into a pair of Flabletics leggings.

 

[DeusVult]

... <snip>

...

Damn, she looks like 55 year old trucker. I'm genuinely surprised that she uploaded a video, where she looks so bad. We all know that she looks like shit, but usually you can catch glimpses of how she truly appears on videos when she has no control over the camera.

 

[multiverse]

She posted a video with Bowie (so I'm not archiving it).
In it, she mentions he has "his first Jellycat" (expensive stuffed animals), and is eating at Bottega Louie.
View attachment 6782392


And they did!
View attachment 6782373
View attachment 6782367

What hell is this AirBnB or cheap motel? And we've reached the stage where Bowie is probably brushing her hair for her, because Mawmah's arms is plumb tuckered out.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

Rhetorical questions really, but I wonder if she gives any thought to what her future will be like. She’s clearly very limited in her ability to move now and she’s getting fatter and older.

Does she still envision some man will come along and rescue her?

Does she think her children will!

What is she going to do for money?

 

[multiverse]

Does she still envision some man will come along and rescue her?

Yes, that is still her plan. A rich feeder will want to make an honest woman of her, and then will come her salad days Madonna Inn champagne cake days.

She hooked one sucker into paying her bills for a couple of years in Long Beach, but the bloom went off the rose and now she's stuck again: older and fatter than ever. Tess seems to think she's above starting an Only Hams account and can still play the sugar baby game at 40, but her funds are clearly running low.

 

[Local Fed]

Rhetorical questions really, but I wonder if she gives any thought to what her future will be like. She’s clearly very limited in her ability to move now and she’s getting fatter and older.

Does she still envision some man will come along and rescue her?

Does she think her children will!

What is she going to do for money?

Dumb people and very immature people, which are groups that Tess certainly is a part of, tend not to think long term, instead living very much in the moment. She definitely gets pangs of fear thinking about the future, but those are probably just brief interruptions from thinking about what she wants right now.

Intellectually she probably does grasp just how hard she's fucking herself over by constantly finding new ways to create fat folds on random parts of her body, but at the same time she's very much cocooned herself in an ideology or cope and denial that focuses on what she wants reality to be trumping what that reality is.

 

[Umaibae]

What hell is this AirBnB or cheap motel? And we've reached the stage where Bowie is probably brushing her hair for her, because Mawmah's arms is plumb tuckered out.

Extremely hard to say without examining her 2024 BAROQUE ME video more closely. It could literally be anywhere in Southern California. Looks like Long Beach, but also Hollywood, but also East LA, but also South LA, but also Orange County.

 

[RainbowStarlight]

I wonder if 2025 will be the year of not only the moving back to Mississippi arc, but the getting diabeetus and losing a foot arc. She’s been on a downward spiral for almost half a decade, it’s only going to get worse from here.

Another arc would be her slipping in the shower and snapping her ankle, rendering her even more immobile than she already is for a solid 2 months or so.