Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?

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For those who are wondering about Bob's reaction to the Switch announcement:

(Read the images in ascending order from top to bottom, with each image read from bottom to top)

NYASXd7.png

91SOEjB.png

nBRmPXz.png
 
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I know about as much as Bob does about the stock market, but i have to assume the lower stock price will allow mire people to invest in Nintendo, Nintendo will have more money to make the Switch, and when it comes out and becomes yet another license to print money like everything Nintendo does, all those investors get a nice profit. If I'm wrong, tell me, i promise not to give a labored sigh and strawman your post.
 
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A Random said:
Why is he claiming the two areas are 'Oregon and Mexico'? I was halfway expecting those weirdos from Galaxy 2 to show up in the forest area.
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Because Bob's biggest, most :autism:, obsession is that Mario is all set in the real world and is a real person he could meet someday. That's why generic desert-inspired world and generic rainy-forest world must be Mexico and Oregon! Nintendo declaring that the cartoon was non-canon and that the games take place in the Mushroom Kingdom actually did damage to Bob's psyche.

Basically, Mario being from Brooklyn is Bob's version of blarms.
 
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Absolutego said:
Because Bob's biggest, most :autism:, obsession is that Mario is all set in the real world and is a real person he could meet someday. That's why generic desert-inspired world and generic rainy-forest world must be Mexico and Oregon! Nintendo declaring that the cartoon was non-canon and that the games take place in the Mushroom Kingdom actually did damage to Bob's psyche.

Basically, Mario being from Brooklyn is Bob's version of blarms.
Click to expand...
i just assumed blob thinks the world outside his basement is a much of a fantasy as a mario world to the point where he can't tell the difference
 
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Okay so I gave it some thought... between laughing fits, admittedly, and came up with this. Would anyone care to expand on it? I really can't continue.
Chapter 1 The Long Sleep.

Summary: Bob Chipman sits alone in his basement. Life hasn't been easy for Bob, having lost a foot to diabetes last year leaving the house is now more of a challenge then ever. He sits with the last brownie in the house held between his chubby fingers, pondering how in the hell he's supposed to get more, and getting more and more panicked as he watched both FOX News and CNN live stream the building of the wall. His hopes are shattered. He's still struggling with the gluttonous death of Patton Oswald mere months earlier, found buried under a cascade collapse of canned food being two days late for voice work.

Hopeless, shaking, unsure if he was guided by rage or sorrow, he ploughs the last brownie into his mouth with a shaking hand. Chew. Chew. Chew... And suddenly he grows groggy, food still being chewed but now slower and with less attention. It's become autonomic. In a few moments Bob is out cold, and he slips into a diabetic coma.

The drama of Bob's family saying good bye.

Chapter 2 The Awakening.

Summary: Bob Chipman, who fell into a permanent coma in 2019 is made into the bionic farmer in 2049. He has no world applicable skills but is pleased to learn that the Chinese government picked up Hilary’s legacy of moon wheat farming where Trump left off. The doctors perform consciousness saving actions and download the essence of Bob Chipman into lunar tractor machine. He's taken to Greenland from his Boston Hospital bed, loaded aboard a ramjet, and sent screaming from the Earth to the moon. He begins the gratifying work of subsistence farming for the Chinese government. This goes on for quite some time. It's hard work, he requires a great deal of ethanol to keep going and the wheat tax makes it difficult to get those required levels. But Bob perseveres.

Chapter 3 Betting the Farm.

Summary: In the year 2081 the Chinese government finally informs Bob that they want to melt his chassis for raw materials and that he has worked long enough to have actually earned money. His consciousness is transferred via quantum network back to Earth where he is given a new more humanoid form. Robo Bob is born anew. And thus begin the new adventures of Bob. Will he find a suitable basement or is over population so bad that he has to live in space for low rent?

Chapter 4 That Big Mushroom in the Sky.

Summary: Bob discovers there is a Mushroom Kingdom space station built by Nintendo to promote their products and decides that by hook, crook or catapult he's getting there. Follow the hilarious adventures of an obese Robo Bob trying to find a ram jet big enough to fire his ass back into space again. Watch as harried crews remove isles of seating only to finally decide he has to be transported like cargo.

I realise in my haste I forgot to mention a 'whatever' device that makes wheat into Ethanol. I'm not exactly a specialist in the field so I don't know if wheat would produce it but given the general madness of the summaries I think it works.
 
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McGregor said:
Okay so I gave it some thought... between laughing fits, admittedly, and came up with this. Would anyone care to expand on it? I really can't continue.
Chapter 1 The Long Sleep.

Summary: Bob Chipman sits alone in his basement. Life hasn't been easy for Bob, having lost a foot to diabetes last year leaving the house is now more of a challenge then ever. He sits with the last brownie in the house held between his chubby fingers, pondering how in the hell he's supposed to get more, and getting more and more panicked as he watched both FOX News and CNN live stream the building of the wall. His hopes are shattered. He's still struggling with the gluttonous death of Patton Oswald mere months earlier, found buried under a cascade collapse of canned food being two days late for voice work.

Hopeless, shaking, unsure if he was guided by rage or sorrow, he ploughs the last brownie into his mouth with a shaking hand. Chew. Chew. Chew... And suddenly he grows groggy, food still being chewed but now slower and with less attention. It's become autonomic. In a few moments Bob is out cold, and he slips into a diabetic coma.

The drama of Bob's family saying good bye.

Chapter 2 The Awakening.

Summary: Bob Chipman, who fell into a permanent coma in 2019 is made into the bionic farmer in 2049. He has no world applicable skills but is pleased to learn that the Chinese government picked up Hilary’s legacy of moon wheat farming where Trump left off. The doctors perform consciousness saving actions and download the essence of Bob Chipman into lunar tractor machine. He's taken to Greenland from his Boston Hospital bed, loaded aboard a ramjet, and sent screaming from the Earth to the moon. He begins the gratifying work of subsistence farming for the Chinese government. This goes on for quite some time. It's hard work, he requires a great deal of ethanol to keep going and the wheat tax makes it difficult to get those required levels. But Bob perseveres.

Chapter 3 Betting the Farm.

Summary: In the year 2081 the Chinese government finally informs Bob that they want to melt his chassis for raw materials and that he has worked long enough to have actually earned money. His consciousness is transferred via quantum network back to Earth where he is given a new more humanoid form. Robo Bob is born anew. And thus begin the new adventures of Bob. Will he find a suitable basement or is over population so bad that he has to live in space for low rent?

Chapter 4 That Big Mushroom in the Sky.

Summary: Bob discovers there is a Mushroom Kingdom space station built by Nintendo to promote their products and decides that by hook, crook or catapult he's getting there. Follow the hilarious adventures of an obese Robo Bob trying to find a ram jet big enough to fire his ass back into space again. Watch as harried crews remove isles of seating only to finally decide he has to be transported like cargo.
Click to expand...
Buddy, you could've put up a picture of a series of scribbles and it'd still be better than Bob's shitty book. As is compared to Bob's work this is Pulitzer Prize material.
 
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TheImportantFart said:
Buddy, you could've put up a picture of a series of scribbles and it'd still be better than Bob's shitty book. As is compared to Bob's work this is Pulitzer Prize material.
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Thanks fam. I've never had a public audience before and I wrote all that in about ten minutes so it's gratifying to know I've got what it takes! To mock Bob Chipman at least. Frankly I've never read any of his books as I don't like to fund Nazis and seldom run so low on toilet paper as to need that sort of thing laying about.
 
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Alan Pardew said:
For those who are wondering about Bob's reaction to the Switch announcement:

(Read the images in ascending order from top to bottom, with each image read from bottom to top)

NYASXd7.png

91SOEjB.png

nBRmPXz.png
Click to expand...
The last time they tried doing Mario in the real world, we got Mario is missing and a whole bunch of mediocre to outright shitty movies and cartoons. While it's true that those were all made by third party companies, my point still stands that putting Mario characters in a real world setting generally turns out awkward and forgettable.
 
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So, Mario is now in a semi realistic setting in some of his games?

... you know, Sonic did the same thing over 15 years ago in the adventure games.
Mario went full circle and is now as retarted as the sonic games in what some autists call its "dork" age
 
UglyOldJafar said:
So, Mario is now in a semi realistic setting in some of his games?

... you know, Sonic did the same thing over 15 years ago in the adventure games.
Mario went full circle and is now as retarted as the sonic games in what some autists call its "dork" age
Click to expand...
Pretty much the first thing I saw everyone say when they saw that trailer for the first time was "So we're doing Mario Adventures now?"
 
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Butta Face Lopez said:
Something tells me those people probably aren't very prolific users of twitter.

But shit what do I know
Click to expand...

Dr. Dik said:
How deep in your echo chamber do you have to be to think that literal moonshine drinking rednecks are the only ones that disagree with you?
Click to expand...

I don't know, I'm sure one of theme has a small portable harddrive containing a terrabyte of all the rarest pepes in the highest resolutions in his back pocket and I know for a fact one of them has an profile pic of Hatsune Miku in the MAGA hat.
 
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