DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Overdrive MASK_de_SMITH]

I still can't believe there are still dentractors who think he's not gay, or at least a deeply in the closet bisexual.

Forget bisexual, nigga is full downlow.

Watching him shrink and cringe in the presence of attractive female characters while damn near giggling at who shirtless muscular men is proof of that. I mean look at his wife: she went from a mid-looking long-haired dime-a-dozen chick whom Phil once said looked like a model, to looking like a mini-me version of John Goodman. She looks more like a dude than she did when they started dating. Phil's gay as fuck, I don't know how dents can't see the obvious.

 

[Sheriff of CWCville]

I’m not sure how this theory isn't more popular, but I don’t know about the response to hot women being a gay thing. My personal theory is thusly, and is twofold-style:

1. Phil uses these situations as a backwards way of fostering the image that he only has eyes for his wife, which makes him a Good Person and a Serious Machoor Adult (a point that is regularly argued).

2. Phil has a combination of sexual dysfunctions that make him deeply insecure and uncomfortable when faced with sexual situations in media (I don’t see many people share this sentiment).

I find it likely that Phil has ED. I think it’s a near certainty that he and Kat are not intimate. I also think Phil is a disgusting weirdo that nobody would have a good time being intimate with. I think Phil realizes this, and it makes him feel shame and discomfort when he sees or discusses heterosexuality. I personally think this is much more likely than him being gay. I think he uses gay scenarios to sperg out and crack jokes because he still thinks that making fun of gay stuff in the most generic 2008 way possible is funny, and that since he isn’t insecure about actually being gay he feels comfortable enough to address it rather than shutting down completely like a fucking incel when it involves women, who he knows judge him in a way that even he himself recognizes is objective.

 

[neger psykolog]

I’m not sure how this theory isn't more popular, but I don’t know about the response to hot women being a gay thing. My personal theory is thusly, and is twofold-style:

1. Phil uses these situations as a backwards way of fostering the image that he only has eyes for his wife, which makes him a Good Person and a Serious Machoor Adult (a point that is regularly argued).

2. Phil has a combination of sexual dysfunctions that make him deeply insecure and uncomfortable when faced with sexual situations in media (I don’t see many people share this sentiment).

I find it likely that Phil has ED. I think it’s a near certainty that he and Kat are not intimate. I also think Phil is a disgusting weirdo that nobody would have a good time being intimate with. I think Phil realizes this, and it makes him feel shame and discomfort when he sees or discusses heterosexuality. I personally think this is much more likely than him being gay. I think he uses gay scenarios to sperg out and crack jokes because he still thinks that making fun of gay stuff in the most generic 2008 way possible is funny, and that since he isn’t insecure about actually being gay he feels comfortable enough to address it rather than shutting down completely like a fucking incel when it involves women, who he knows judge him in a way that even he himself recognizes is objective.

I'm guessing he has ED and of course has never seen a doctor about it.
I'm also guessing that he isn't that sexual to begin with.
I don't think he is gay but I also don't think he's very mature when it comes to intimacy and sexuality to begin with.

I'm also not guessing when I say that khet pussy whips his ass about how he reacts to women in games and gives him the jealous/scorned woman/cunt shit all the time over remarkably petty shit. He only started acting weird about women in games when khet appeared and apparently subaruman said some shit about her being a frigid cunt if things weren't going her way.

 

[Lady Adjani]

I personally think this is much more likely than him being gay.

Nah, his eyes light up whenever there are half-naked men on screen, Phil is a closeted homo.

Though I must admit I've never seen someone act this prudish when it came to women in media, the only other 'person' I can think of is that Klepek guy from GiantBomb, dude would literally cover his eyes and turn away when anything even remotely sexual was happening in one of the Yakuza games.

 

[lupinthethird]

This mf had gout from what? his late 20s to early 30s? I wouldn't doubt he has ED for a second.

 

[Sheriff of CWCville]

Nah, his eyes light up whenever there are half-naked men on screen, Phil is a closeted homo.

Though I must admit I've never seen someone act this prudish when it came to women in media, the only other 'person' I can think of is that Klepek guy from GiantBomb, dude would literally cover his eyes and turn away when anything even remotely sexual was happening in one of the Yakuza games.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to suspect him of being gay, but still don’t believe so myself and would offer this:

Phil is fragile and insecure. When Phil is ashamed of something, or being confronted generally, his first instinct is to ALWAYS avoid it. I believe Phil would be ashamed over being gay: Phil gets uncomfortable, not loose, when he is put in situations where he must confront his shame. I think if Phil were gay you would see classic-CWC levels of cope and seethe whenever people busted his balls over it. It could even be incorporated into his victim narrative after a certain point of time, and you could bet your ass he would consider monetizing it.

Much like with Champions, Phil will eventually give you all the concrete evidence you need to realize he’s hiding something. After the point where he literally can’t deny it anymore, he monetizes it and tries to use it as a shield. If Phil was gay, we would have been at the “monetize it” point years ago, when he could have rode the wave of pro-LGBT sentiment.

 

[Puerile Burger]

I'm guessing he has ED and of course has never seen a doctor about it.
I'm also guessing that he isn't that sexual to begin with.
I don't think he is gay but I also don't think he's very mature when it comes to intimacy and sexuality to begin with.

I agree with 99% of your take. However, he obviously has/had feelings for John Rambo. And the way he openly and brazenly lusted after Tardski during the "King arc" makes me inclined to think that he is at least curious. He certainly hates women. Especially women with a modicum of authority. There is no sexual attraction to women whatsoever.
Asexual with ED and just a hint of repressed homosexuality.

 

[GibMoneyPls]

Don't know about his sexuality, but it seems like a whole lot of men pay him to get off.

And they role-play while doing it. KingCobra would call that some sicko shit.

 

[neger psykolog]

I agree with 99% of your take. However, he obviously has/had feelings for John Rambo. And the way he openly and brazenly lusted after Tardski during the "King arc" makes me inclined to think that he is at least bi-curious. He certainly hates women. Especially women with a modicum of authority. There is no sexual attraction to women whatsoever.
Asexual with ED and just a hint of repressed homosexuality.

He probably did have feelings for John but that doesn't mean those feelings were sexual. I don't buy the bi-curious shit because I don't think DSP is even really that straight-curious to begin with.
He's very obviously not getting ED pills or going out of his way to take khet or Leanna to a holiday at a hotel on the beach and have an uninterrupted fuck bonanza for 3 days straight. There's way too much evidence that he's just not super horny.

I don't think khet or Leanna were ever beards either, he's obviously a bit immature but everyone needs emotional connection with other people.
You can have emotional connections with guy friends and it isn't gay or bi curious or sexual.

 

[fresh pair of socks]

I don't think khet or Leanna were ever beards either, he's obviously a bit immature but everyone needs emotional connection with other people.
You can have emotional connections with guy friends and it isn't gay or bi curious or sexual.

Normal men can, but Phil is not normal.

When Phil said he was going to have sex with Rambo in their hotel room, or when he said Andy should take off his shirt and show off his ripped bod, that was Phil speaking his fantasies out loud.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I don't think khet or Leanna were ever beards either, he's obviously a bit immature but everyone needs emotional connection with other people.

Agreed on Reeanna but not on Khet. In some early clips with him and Reeanna there's a bit of lovey dovey shit going on and there was a time when the two had chemistry, as much chemistry as two immature retards can have but chemistry nonetheless. Khet was just an emergency replacement maid and machoor adult "look I have a gf/I'm married" trophy from day 1. There is no piece of pictoral evidence that didn't look like some weird hostage situation whenever Phail and Khet were on together. There's no chemistry, whether it be romantic or platonic. It's not even a roommate situation, the average roommates have more in common and can hold a conversation better than these two.

I can imagine Phail and Reeanna having sex at least once, I don't think he ever consummated his marriage with Khet on the other hand.

 

[Pargon]

I don't think khet or Leanna were ever beards either, he's obviously a bit immature but everyone needs emotional connection with other people.
You can have emotional connections with guy friends and it isn't gay or bi curious or sexual.

This is my interpretation as well, specifically that JR was maybe one of the first and almost certainly the last deep connection he had with another human being, and when their friendship fell apart it genuinely fucked him up and he likely hasn’t fully dealt with it yet. I think that his valedictorian status in high school and the very stereotypical stories he has from his university days point to Phil having very few if any friends. Which also means that he’s alone now, and has been that way for going on 20 years, which.

Well, look up what happens to folks who get tossed into solitary confinement for a year. They don’t come out the same. And yeah, Phil has creature comforts aplenty and he can interact if and when he chooses, but a deprivation is a deprivation. You can’t argue off scurvy because you just really hate fruit ‘n veg.

 

[neger psykolog]

I can imagine Phail and Reeanna having sex at least once, I don't think he ever consummated his marriage with Khet on the other hand

DSP said some shit like "omg khet said things no one has said to me before" (this was I think before she was actually revealed/moved in)

What I infer this to mean..
Leanna had no sexual experience when she and DSP got together but Khet was the hair tricks lady...

So khet did some freaky ass shit to DSP in the bedroom and he fell for that shit and she probably doesn't put out anymore at all hahaha

 

[OliverKlozoff]

However, he obviously has/had feelings for John Rambo.

I remember him crying over John multiple times. But has he ever cried over the break-up with PandaLee?

 

[Balr0g]

Leanna had no sexual experience when she and DSP got together but Khet was the hair tricks lady...

Not so sure about that. for one allegedly Phil stole Panda from someone. And when he had a cooking with the king episode Panda made a perhaps sexually hinted joke "yeah I know sausages of all sizes". Of course we will probably never know but imho it seems as if Panda had more experience then Phil. Panda might have been Phil's first for all we know of Phil. Then again, Phil's youth is one huge mystery apart from the things Phil told.

 

[architect]

(...)

I find it likely that Phil has ED. I think it’s a near certainty that he and Kat are not intimate. I also think Phil is a disgusting weirdo that nobody would have a good time being intimate with. I think Phil realizes this, and it makes him feel shame and discomfort when he sees or discusses heterosexuality. I personally think this is much more likely than him being gay. I think he uses gay scenarios to sperg out and crack jokes because he still thinks that making fun of gay stuff in the most generic 2008 way possible is funny, and that since he isn’t insecure about actually being gay he feels comfortable enough to address it rather than shutting down completely like a fucking incel when it involves women, who he knows judge him in a way that even he himself recognizes is objective.

I agree that Phil being impotent is more likely than him being a full blown homosexual (though the valley girl speech combined with his limp wrists does make him at least a little suspect). What always struck me as odd about the fap "incident" was that the one time he accidentally had his camera running without him supposedly knowing, also happened to be the exact day he was masturbating before the stream. I've always suspected he did it on purpose. Phil, as an autistic narcissist who suffers from ED, would rather broadcast himself masturbating (or at least pretend to) and create this image of him being clumsy yet sexually virile, which is much less embarrassing and less of a hit to his ego than being an impotent loser who can't satisfy his girlfriend.

I know we are getting pretty deep into the bizarro-world that is DSP's brain, but I honestly believe this retard totally doesn't mind being seen as a fucking retard that jacks off on stream, since that implies he has a functional dick.

 

[neger psykolog]

I agree that Phil being impotent is more likely than him being a full blown homosexual (though the valley girl speech combined with his limp wrists does make him at least a little suspect).

I wonder if he even knows he can just tell a doctor his dick don't work and shit like that. I doubt it.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

This mf had gout from what? his late 20s to early 30s? I wouldn't doubt he has ED for a second.

Alcoholism, obesity, and drinking what cause his gout and these things will give him ED too. UNLESS HIS AUNT HID HER E.D. FROM THE REST OF THE FAMILY! THANKS AUNT!

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

I’m not sure how this theory isn't more popular, but I don’t know about the response to hot women being a gay thing. My personal theory is thusly, and is twofold-style:

1. Phil uses these situations as a backwards way of fostering the image that he only has eyes for his wife, which makes him a Good Person and a Serious Machoor Adult (a point that is regularly argued).

2. Phil has a combination of sexual dysfunctions that make him deeply insecure and uncomfortable when faced with sexual situations in media (I don’t see many people share this sentiment).

I find it likely that Phil has ED. I think it’s a near certainty that he and Kat are not intimate. I also think Phil is a disgusting weirdo that nobody would have a good time being intimate with. I think Phil realizes this, and it makes him feel shame and discomfort when he sees or discusses heterosexuality. I personally think this is much more likely than him being gay. I think he uses gay scenarios to sperg out and crack jokes because he still thinks that making fun of gay stuff in the most generic 2008 way possible is funny, and that since he isn’t insecure about actually being gay he feels comfortable enough to address it rather than shutting down completely like a fucking incel when it involves women, who he knows judge him in a way that even he himself recognizes is objective.

he's gay he's gay he's gayyyyy, he's totally gay

What always struck me as odd about the fap "incident" was that the one time he accidentally had his camera running without him supposedly knowing, also happened to be the exact day he was masturbating before the stream.

i think thats just evidence that he jerks off before stream quite often

 

[Free Jasper]

Anyone that saw the awkward ‘2 finger touch-stroke’ thing he did last time khet was on stream knows they’re not fucking, and probably never have. It was ridiculous, like a small teenage boy coming across a gorl for the first time at Comic-Con rather than a husband. You could tell from the awkwardness of it that the pair almost never touch.

We know he spent his wedding night trying to dunk on people on Twitter and if you’re not fucking on your wedding night, when are you?