I sat in on the 12/23 arraignment as a civilian "spectator".
I was one of the few members of the public there in the courtroom on Monday and it was a horribly upsetting experience. Waiting outside, many of the others were making jokes/talking about how unjust the case has been. Then we entered the courthouse and went to the floor the arraignment would be on. We were lined up with a ton of reporters in the hallway outside the courtroom. It was organized so that reporters were on either side of a walkway where the lawyers and then the defendant would walk down to enter the courtroom. Like some sick kind of red carpet. There was sooo many press there. I started to feel really sick as I slowly realized they would be parading him down that walkway. Then they led us inside the court. We were sitting in the very back.
Then he was walked in by like 20 people with a cop holding each of his arms, shackled up wrists and ankles, with this huge chain around his waist that his wrists were shackled to. As if he could run away. I'm told this is standard for a murder trial but it was extremely upsetting to watch. He looked just like he does in all the photos; that was not an important part of this experience.
He looked SO pale. Scared, angry (but keeping it under control), and tense. It was incredibly upsetting to watch. We have no idea the kind of composure it must take to maintain that facade. He can’t do anything. Cameras were following him constantly, and flashing. Every move of his is watched and commented on, whether negatively by the media or obsessively by fans.
In about a second after I saw him, all the memes/thirsting/online discoveries about his good character were wiped away as I realized the significance of this young man's LIFE being at stake. I felt so inappropriate to me that I, a random stranger, felt the right to sit in on this arraignment.
They walked him in like he was a "spoil of war". The cops are parading him around like a pig on a stick. All of America is obsessing over him, digging up every possible trace of his online presence. And focusing on his appearance and personality instead of the danger he’s in in real life. For example, the sweater from court selling out. This isn’t a thirst trap or a joke, it’s this man’s LIFE!
I realized how sick and wrong this all is for me and everyone else there, and all the people obsessing over him online to be a voyeur to this terrible process. I felt like I was contributing to the problem by watching him be "put on display". For example, seeing the way the MSM wrote about the "dozens of fans who lined up in the early morning, mostly young women" minimizes the point of how unjust this guy's legal process has been.
I was nauseous the entire arraignment, and I felt depressed for several days after. I think if I were in his shoes, all of the attention from the public and the online obsession (even though it's supportive) over his personality, looks, and personal history would make me mad uncomfortable.
I think the priority should be on supporting him. And some people are saying that digging up all of his online info it could hurt the case. And I think that would be terrible for his fans to end up causing him more injustice. Also, putting up his personal private photos online — including when he was a
child— seems really wrong and insensitive to me.
Which is why for now I'm going to focus on what people can do to concretely help: writing letters, maybe not sending books (because prisoners only get to take a few into their cells and the rest might be thrown away), calling for healthcare reform, helping with protests, and raising support in a non-creepy way.
PS: I would never go back to another hearing. It was horrifying. And I encourage anyone here to not go as well. I don't think it's the right way to help him.
I think my perspective is worth sharing as I had a very close view of this in person.
