Fanfiction Horrors

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
It's down and as always the usual suspects are now shitting their pants in fear/outrage on Reddit and Tumblr.
Is it possible to generate deeplinks into the PDF downloding function? I don't use the site so I don't have any in my history, but if that's possible it could be a way to read offline.

Probably wouldn't work though, if the backend's dead.

Edit: found the format: https://archiveofourown.org/downloads/[ao3_work_id]/[title_in_title_case_with_underscores].pdf?updated_at=[unix timestamp]
 
Every homestuck fanfic I have seen in years. Want cool action and adventure? Too bad, pronouns and scat fucking.
Wait, for real? Never would have pegged that fandom as the one for that shit (no pun intended) to get popular. I just thought the Homestuck fandom was as autistic about alien genitals as the Star Trek fandom. (Or comes close, anyway, I'm not sure anyone can top the Star Trek fans in that arena.)
 
Wait, for real? Never would have pegged that fandom as the one for that shit (no pun intended) to get popular. I just thought the Homestuck fandom was as autistic about alien genitals as the Star Trek fandom. (Or comes close, anyway, I'm not sure anyone can top the Star Trek fans in that arena.)
Back when I was sort of into it when it had it's true time around 2014-ish? the fics were still all in on slice of live humanstucks and high school AUs. A lot of AUs that just took the characters and put them in sort of standard fair plots else they wrote the canon in written format with their ships center stage. I legit still look fondly on a lot of the fanart during that time. It was some of the most creative and even beautiful considering the source material was what is was to work with. The fans were really creative as memey as we look on it now in a way that you rarely see in large numbers in any fandom these days.

Anyway, safe to say it was cannibalized and made even more a joke of by it's own creator with the epilogues and has been infested with the different type of fan from what I can tell.
 
I honestly think I'm more concerned about 1.6k words in 6 chapters... that's less than 300 words per chapter... genuinely how the fuck are you even communicating any kind of storyline at that point
I was thinking of doing a review of this 'story' for that exact reason, but it's such a steaming pile of shit that I genuinely cannot bring myself to. It's not even fun to shit on something that's as terrible as this; it feels like kicking a dying dog.

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One chapter is literally just them stating their other accounts.

Another chapter is written like this:
Screenshot 2024-12-27 at 21.50.00.png
The 'author' is either a child or someone who's mentally retarded.
 
I was thinking of doing a review of this 'story' for that exact reason, but it's such a steaming pile of shit that I genuinely cannot bring myself to. It's not even fun to shit on something that's as terrible as this; it feels like kicking a dying dog.

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One chapter is literally just them stating their other accounts.

Another chapter is written like this:
View attachment 6793850
The 'author' is either a child or someone who's mentally retarded.

I'm leaving the Internet forever after reading that

Good bye
 
An entire chapter with no actual fanwork content is a reportable offense... I mean, not that it would get the fic itself taken down, because the other chapters are fanworks even if incredibly low effort, but I imagine that this is the kind of author who would flip the fuck out if contacted by an AO3 mod to remove that one specific chapter.
Not saying that anyone here should report the fic, just saying that it might be worth checking back occasionally to see if someone else did & a chimpout ensued.
 
While looking for something sophisticated to read on this fine Saturday :smug:, I stumbled upon this piece of shit art.

Screenshot 2024-12-28 at 19.40.59.png

> author doesn't know german
Author is probably a monolingual shithead who never talked to bilingual people.
Look, I know it's meant to be cute, super unique and shit in fanfics, but it really irks me to see people just mindlessly use words from another language in dialogues.

> Author Has Never Played Call Of Duty
> author also refuses to research accurate military shit

Are you proud of yourself now, author?

> Sharing a Bed
> Fuck Or Die
> Rape
> explicit descriptions of sexual torture

Aw hell no, it's going to be one of these fanfics. (:_(

> No use of y/n
Well at least there's that - But here's the cherry on top.

Screenshot 2024-12-28 at 19.42.35.png
I feel like nothing in this word will ever prepare me for first-person-perspective (smut) stories. 🤢
184k words for first-person rape-torture-porn. Eugh. Fucking e u g h.

~

Also, here's another thing. While reading the summary for this story, the wording felt weirdly inconsistent, but familiar.

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So I took a part of this fanfic and shoved it into an ai-content-detector - one that's quite reliable imo (quillbot).
Well. It usually gives me a number between 75-85% for "likely AI-generated" when I put in straight ChatGPT slop.

Screenshot 2024-12-28 at 19.58.04.png

I guess it was to be expected that ai-diarrhoea was going to surface on sites like AO3 at some point. It's just so disappointing. (And so terribly easy to detect if you know how AI 'sounds'.)

Screenshot 2024-12-28 at 20.01.58.png

Well. Generating 14k words with the help of AI takes like 1-2 hours, depending on how fast you can type your prompts and read what it shat out.
 
This fic was written for a piece of fanart whose exquisite work was posted in the SJW art thread. It's quite long, clocking in at 13k words, but I am nothing if not dedicated.

First, have a look at the fanart that inspired this piece:
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Now, let's have a look.
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What you are going to notice is that this author repeats herself A LOT. This fic could lose several thousand words, easily.
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Nothing like the shitty dialogue and beliefs from the season to start this off. It isn't progress when the people you save don't actually 'evolve' and become mindless automatons, but I digress.
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You will see a lot of repetitive phrases here when it comes to love and affection, to the point you will actually wonder if the author has noticed she has written it more than 3-4 times. It gets very annoying once you spot it.
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Ah, pining. It sounds even more desperate when it comes from a pooner because they're trying to convince the audience as well as their boytoy they're a real man, a man's man. The poor thing.
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Right, so this is where the repetition begins. Viktor has already asked a few paragraphs before if Jayce felt something more than affection for him, before being held back by the fear that the feelings are not reciprocated, etc etc. Then, Viktor wonders if he is even capable of being loved, later saying that he had been too afraid to risk it before bringing up that he was too afraid of rejection. Keep an eye out for this because he says it a lot.
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Except Jayce didn't really SEE Viktor for who he truly was, and if he did, why pine so much for a man who already understands you and wants you? Rather defeats the point, doesn't it?
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Here we go with the repetition. She writes that the commune is sleeping outside twice, three sentences apart. Then we have the classic bodice-ripper trope of a woman (Viktor is female in this, as the trans tag is there) wanting a nice, strong man to cradle her and protect her and love her. Your basic heterosexual work that's made pretty with the trans tag.
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Now we go into the repetition further. She writes Viktor imagining that Jayce is touching him twice. She writes about his 'fantasy' SIX times, and emphasizes the 'curve of his hips' and how gentle Jayce's big hands are. Oh yeah, it need I mention it gets worse?
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Add 'fantasy' being used EIGHT times. Add the exploratory masturbation thing to the 'third time's a charm' because that's the third time she's wrote it, and the fourth (?) time she's written about Viktor wanting to get his pussy slammed. Oy Vey.
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Now I've heard it all. I've read 'wet as a waterslide', and 'pussy as hot as a furnace', now we've got vaginal ejaculation being described as akin to liquor. Amazing.

'Ah fuck' is my reaction exactly.
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There's that fantasy word again! Make it number nine!

Now we have repetition a la Jayce's physical description. He's described as being rugged, with 'battles fought and burdens borne' twice, and they are literally a fucking paragraph apart. That entire paragraph could be cut and nothing would be lost, because you aren't describing anything new.
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> Wasn't the monster he steeled himself against
> Raw, unguarded humanity
> Not the version he had imagined in his nightmares
> Fortified himself with the belief his partner was gone

Four paragraphs of the same shit, explained in four different ways. Jesus Christ.
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> Says Jayce would never return his love
> Says the love IS there, but buried deep
> Also says it's a shadow of that love
> Retcons his 'peaceful death' with 'painful, inevitable parting'
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What intimate moments? Now I am curious.

> it was safe
Always about safety with these pooners. It's a staple of their work at this point.
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BTW the 'leave the world behind' like three times, and despite Viktor crying his eyes out, there's a line at the end there that has him with more 'lingering tears'. Which is it? Did he not just sob his heart out to Jayce or did he remain silent the whole time?
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Second time the 'world has disappeared', and the umpteenth time 'unspoken words and shared history' has been used. It gets worse when they start kissing.

> Asks if he would ruin everything he's worked for
Is he aware of what Jayce saw or is that just a benefit to masturbating in his blanket? Can you get his memories when you cum on his clothes?

Ah, and here we have that fucking abominable 'your imperfections make you who you are' speech. FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT
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The world has left the world three times, causing a world-ception. Only they remain to cause another world to cease to exist - hey, that actually happens so don't blame me for that shit.
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> His kiss grounds him twice
> Talks about his humanity returning 2-3 times
> deepens the kiss twice
> World disappears a fourth time
It keeps going:
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> Deepens the kiss a third time, kisses and touches his neck twice
> Something 'raw and desperate' is also used twice
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He also 'memorizes his body' twice.
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> As if they were made for this
I mean, they literally are, because this is a man and woman fucking. Don't be fooled by the trans tag; they actually love their pussies. Just don't call it a vagina, else they'll have a mental breakdown.
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Viktor's body is biomechanical. How are you leaving lines in it?

They are now 'tentatively kissing' twice again, that turns into passionate kissing again. The world blurs and disappears for a fifth time. And despite the Hexcore giving Viktor a new body, he still has the mastectomy scars. And his hands move with 'renewed purpose' twice now.
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This is the third or fourth time he has deepened the kiss. Maybe they can find the missing piece of the Titanic at the depths they're going.
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> Uses the term gorgeous twice, two paragraphs apart
> Commits body parts to memory for around the fourth or fifth time
> Uses the classic 'eating out pussy like a starved man' cliché
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There's a lot of grounding in this fic; that's around the fifth or sixth time I've read it. And Viktor has surrendered twice, meaning he has surrendered fewer times than the French.
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Add another marker to the 'grounding himself' comment. Makes me think he's trying to avoid getting electrocuted.

"Tentative" has been used a lot here, as has 'deepen the kiss'. It really cheapens the fic and it gets - dare I say? - repetitive.
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Jayce has tightened his hands around Viktor's waist three times, and his vagina has been 'dripping heat' twice.
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Lots of emphasis on the tension building between them, and 'pussy folds', which is rather redundant. The labia are the folds, you can just use that.
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How can eyelids be 'heavy in devotion'? Don't you mean, 'heavy WITH devotion'? Viktor has also splayed his hands across Jayce's chest twice, when he isn't focused on lightly choking him.
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How can Viktor's chest be flushed pink when it's made of metal? He's a dark purple. How can he also be sweating anywhere else but his face when he doesn't have the capability anymore?

Ah, and there's that belly bulge. No pooner fic is complete without it.
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The 'commit to memory' has been used at least four or five times, maybe more. In this screenshot it's twice, one at the beginning and one at the end. Maybe they should invest in a camera so they can keep it forever - or an OnlyFans. Pleasure is used three times in one paragraph, the world falls away again for the eighth time, and the 'tender, reverent touch' is used I think around the third or fourth time.
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No need for words gets repeated twice, another 'grounding touch' moment, and another instance of the world falling away - for the ninth time - and time stopping twice/three times. I've honestly lost count.
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> Two imperfect souls
Yet they fit together perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle, as was written earlier
> Two hearts beating as one
So they ARE perfect. Mm.

In terms of smut, this isn't bad per se. But it is absolutely bloated by the sheer repetition of metaphors, actions and descriptions, and it gets rather annoying once you notice it (see, I repeated myself there just as this author did). It's not crazy ridiculous as most trans Viktor fics are - the fic is indeed rather intense, and captures the emotion well, it's just bogged down by repeating the same things over and over again. I will give her credit for not using the dreaded 'hole'; any fic that uses that gets a neg rating from me.

Otherwise, it's not great, not terrible, but it didn't need to be 13k words. And it certainly was far better written than the fanart it was based on, yeesh.

There's a trend among certain authors to make Jayce 'comphet', which means he isn't aware that other sexualities exist. This isn't possible because before the events of the show, he was a treasure hunter, which means he would have interacted with people and cultures where said relationships would have been normalized. He being of a lesser house means he would have been exposed to it anyways. It's just a stupid thing to hold onto, but people do. Observe:
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"I am pulling examples from myself, therefore it applies to this fictional character with different experiences than my own" - Your examples are faulty, then. You are not a world traveler; you are likely very much a person with a closed social circle whose primary interactions are over Discord. And yet, you know all those sexualities thanks to the Internet. A similar version of that applies to Jayce.

Homophobia also does not exist in Runeterra, which this author was informed of but did not accept. Piltover may oppress Zaun, but to suggest it has no rich gay people or isn't aware of queer people is simply retarded. Simply put: the author's headcanon was retarded, had nothing to do with lore, and she got mad when called out. Of course, they always pull the 'I am perfectly fine having a normal conversation' when she was asked how the hell Jayce doesn't know what a bisexual person is. They don't want normal conversations; they want their headcanon as canon and that's it.

On a lighter note:
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And a not so lighter note. Another pedo fic:
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Muzzlemutts is the author who has written multiple fics where Viktor, who is a trans child, is groomed and raped by an adult Jayce. Why this is acceptable to write, let alone conceive the idea of, I will never know.
I was thinking of doing a review of this 'story' for that exact reason, but it's such a steaming pile of shit that I genuinely cannot bring myself to. It's not even fun to shit on something that's as terrible as this; it feels like kicking a dying dog.

Another chapter is written like this:
View attachment 6793850
The 'author' is either a child or someone who's mentally retarded.
It's TikTok culture. I've seen a few fics exactly like that in the Arcane fandom, right down to using the same format. They think their uwu cutesy teenage girl Gen Z talk is 'modern' and relatable when I am reminded of how fucking cringe Life is Strange was back in 2015 and that was supposed to be peak Millennial writing. Ugh. TikTok has produced some of the worst artists and authors, prove me wrong.
Author is probably a monolingual shithead who never talked to bilingual people.
Look, I know it's meant to be cute, super unique and shit in fanfics, but it really irks me to see people just mindlessly use words from another language in dialogues.
It's one thing to research some terms used in other languages to add a bit of flair, but that requires research. And not Google translate either; it's one thing to use it sparingly, another to have it appear out of nowhere. The fact that author refused to do any research just means she wanted to coom and post her shit and probably gets mad as fuck when someone politely corrects her on anything. Googling anything aside from how to get their T shots is lost on these retards.
 
> author doesn't know german
Author is probably a monolingual shithead who never talked to bilingual people.
Look, I know it's meant to be cute, super unique and shit in fanfics, but it really irks me to see people just mindlessly use words from another language in dialogues.

> Author Has Never Played Call Of Duty
> author also refuses to research accurate military shit

Are you proud of yourself now, author?
Even if you know multiple languages you keep things to the language you're writing in because it's jarring seeing constant switching back and forth and readers who are monolingual get nothing out of it.

Some of the military inaccuracies are so funny to me, as well. Because there is some basic shit you can pick up on from basic movies, shows, and books most people have at least a passing knowledge of. They always write them like they're some weird room mate, cuddle buddies. CoD is inaccurate in and of itself but it gets really egregious. That plus their bizarre ways of writing men like the most autistic, twee girl just is the cherry on top.
 
I guess it was to be expected that ai-diarrhoea was going to surface on sites like AO3 at some point. It's just so disappointing. (And so terribly easy to detect if you know how AI 'sounds'.)

Screenshot 2024-12-28 at 20.01.58.png

Well. Generating 14k words with the help of AI takes like 1-2 hours, depending on how fast you can type your prompts and read what it shat out.
The fact that AO3 allows AI-generated fic (since it's a fanwork archive site and exists to archive literally any fanwork that doesn't literally break the law of the country it's hosted/registered in) is very funny to me considering a large portion of its userbase are the same ones who fly into pants-shitting rages at the mere existence of AI "art".
FWIW, AO3 does do the best it can to prevent the fics on the site from being data scraped to train AIs - which imo circumvents the actual biggest issue with the practice (namely, that your writing could be basically plagarized without your knowledge or consent). I'm not a fan of AI-generated fics myself, I have no interest in reading or generating* them, but the fact that the exist doesn't bother me. At least, not any moreso than the thousands or millions of hand-written fics out there that had even less effort put into them than AI slop does. Just because you personally typed your bullshit out doesn't automatically mean you put any thought into it. Bad fic is bad fic.

*I do think it would be interesting to feed everything I've ever written in a particular fandom into an AI and have it generate a "prototypical Petrusha fic" using only that as a data set, but I probably wouldn't post the results on AO3. By the way, if anyone knows of a way to do this without downloading any new software or paying money, lmk I guess

That said, I do wish that posters were required to label their AI fics. Maybe like a tag, or maybe another category like the work language - let's say when you post something, you have to check a box that says yes this work was created using AI or AI assistance/no this work was not created using AI or AI assistance. That way any readers could see right off when something is AI and avoid it if they want to.
However, such a tag system is entirely contingent on people behaving themselves. As said, a large portion of AO3's main demograph has AI derangement syndrome, so any author ("author") willing to mark down any inclusion of AO3 would probably get flamed to hell and back. No one would actually want to tag their AI use. And then what? Report the fic for violating the AI marking rule? Good luck with that. Actually proving a fic is made with AI is virtually impossible. AI detection software isn't 100% reliable. Fast uploads don't mean anything when it could just as easily be an author finishing writing their entire fic before posting the first chapter (a not uncommon practice, though usually a bit more spaced out to maximize interest). A lot of the phrasing "tells" are nearly identical to just not being completely fluent in English, perhaps even relying a little too much on translation software.
Speaking of which, translating other people's fics is already an accepted and AO3-supported category of fanwork - and the most common way (in fact, probably nearly the only way) that this is done is to run the entire fic through a software translator and go back and edit it for accuracy and phrasing. I know bilingual authors who have done this to their own fics. What happens when hysterical internet teenagers are reminded that translation software is (gasp) also AI?
 
While looking for something sophisticated to read on this fine Saturday :smug:, I stumbled upon this piece of shit art.

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NGL that 184K monster AU looks kind of fun. Not my thing at all, but at least putting random monsters in there makes it a bit more creative. And I much prefer the old-school, first-person "everyone wants to have sex with me!" Mary Sue format than the newer style of turning everyone into a troon and then raping them.

> author doesn't know german
Author is probably a monolingual shithead who never talked to bilingual people.

Bilingual/multilingual accuracy in fics would be no fun though, because the characters would just act completely normal except for when they're extremely tired, and then they forget what language they're supposed to be speaking and just stare at you blankly for a while.

That plus their bizarre ways of writing men like the most autistic, twee girl just is the cherry on top.

Okay this is probably the thing that fascinates me the most about fandom in general (not just regarding particular fics or characters): why do these women hardly ever seem to fixate on male characters who start off as autistic twee cuddle buddies? Like I'm sure there are plenty of characters like that out there, isn't modern entertainment full of grown men emoting therapeutically and crying like teenage girls ?

So why do so many writers pick male characters who are the opposite of that and then convert them in fiction? I'm not even criticizing anymore, I'm just interested in what the hell is driving it.
 
Okay this is probably the thing that fascinates me the most about fandom in general (not just regarding particular fics or characters): why do these women hardly ever seem to fixate on male characters who start off as autistic twee cuddle buddies? Like I'm sure there are plenty of characters like that out there, isn't modern entertainment full of grown men emoting therapeutically and crying like teenage girls ?

So why do so many writers pick male characters who are the opposite of that and then convert them in fiction? I'm not even criticizing anymore, I'm just interested in what the hell is driving it.
1. There are people who specifically are into the idea that every single person on the planet is a squishy cry baby deep inside and it is only the cisheteronormativepatriarchy and its toxic ideals it forces on itself despite making the rules and not needing to choose a society which suppresses it is the only reason no one stims in public. And I'm not kidding. There are some retarded people out there that think someone gruff, stoic, or just able to compartmentalize for their job are all fakers who fake it. It's only true and honest to be blubbery.

2. They're very poor writers. They have a limited capacity for getting into the mind space of characters/people unlike them and so can't depict people unlike them with any accuracy. Part of being a good writer is convincingly writing characters with experiences, beliefs, and opinions wildly different from your own. So everything is an exercise in projection. The characters in fics that write about things like CoD are dealing with multiple layers of "different from them": they're men, they're (usually) older-ish male characters, they're military who are specifically true believers to their job. Your average pooner writing fic is usually quite young, female, does not have any clue about the military let alone anyone who would be fully bought in, and also specifically doesn't have any idea how mature men think and act.
 
1. There are people who specifically are into the idea that every single person on the planet is a squishy cry baby deep inside and it is only the cisheteronormativepatriarchy and its toxic ideals it forces on itself despite making the rules and not needing to choose a society which suppresses it is the only reason no one stims in public. And I'm not kidding. There are some retarded people out there that think someone gruff, stoic, or just able to compartmentalize for their job are all fakers who fake it. It's only true and honest to be blubbery.

That's a very good point, and I guess it's a throughline that explains a lot of strange current-year beliefs (like we can fix criminality using social workers, violent hobos on the subway just need a hug, etc)

I'm not sure it fully explains why so many of them make the choice to write about these sort of characters though. I guess I'm wondering whether it's some unconscious desire on the part of the fanfic author to "fix" the character(s) because they seem so foreign to their mindset, or if it's the opposite and they are unconsciously drawn towards characters that are nothing like them and their friends, because their friends are so fucking annoying (but then they end up writing them to resemble their friends anyway, because they're unimaginative writers).
 
That's a very good point, and I guess it's a throughline that explains a lot of strange current-year beliefs (like we can fix criminality using social workers, violent hobos on the subway just need a hug, etc)

I'm not sure it fully explains why so many of them make the choice to write about these sort of characters though. I guess I'm wondering whether it's some unconscious desire on the part of the fanfic author to "fix" the character(s) because they seem so foreign to their mindset, or if it's the opposite and they are unconsciously drawn towards characters that are nothing like them and their friends, because their friends are so fucking annoying (but then they end up writing them to resemble their friends anyway, because they're unimaginative writers).
It's very simple: they're women and these characters are strong, stoic, and conventionally attractive. It's just that they can't help but to project heavily and also have little experience with relationship dynamics between the average man and woman much less the average man and man.
 
Fanfiction proves the maxim that you can't be both stupid and a good writer. You have to be at least somewhat smart in order to write well. A stupid person is incapable of characterizing anyone well because they lack the intellegence required to create and execute a mental model of a person unlike themselves. When a stupid person tries to write, even if they're able to handle themselves well stylistically (good grammar, nice prose, compelling pacing, even an exciting plot!), all of their characters end up speaking and acting exactly the same as the author.
If all the other mentioned factors are present, then most of the time a stupid author can get away with it anyway, especially if it's original fiction and therefore they're not warping a pre-existing character out of character. But in fanfiction - or when one of these retards gets handed the reins of a franchise - it becomes glaringly obvious, because you know that that character isn't supposed to act like a [insert demographic that the writer belongs to].

As for why they fixate on characters unlike themselves, I think it's because your level of intelligence doesn't necessarily dictate what characters you find compelling. While a stupid person can't emulate the personality of a character, they can still read/watch/play something and notice that a particular character fits a certain "type" of personality that they like. The problem comes when they try to write that character themselves, and that "type" is so different from themselves that they hit their IQ ceiling, default to writing what they themselves would do/say in a situation (e.g. cry and blubber), and give some bullshit excuse like "In this situation, this character felt safe and comfortable enough to express how he REALLY feels!"

I don't think the source of this phenomenon is the same mindset as the "Violent subway schizos just need a hug and then they'll be normal", but I do think that that and this both come from the same place - literally being too dumb to understand that other people are not just like you.
 
It's very simple: they're women and these characters are strong, stoic, and conventionally attractive. It's just that they can't help but to project heavily and also have little experience with relationship dynamics between the average man and woman much less the average man and man.

Revealed preferences are a funny thing, aren't they? They all yell about how we need more fat disabled BIPOC anti-toxic-masculinity queers in fiction, and then when they have a choice, they choose characters who are buff conventionally attractive white dudes in traditionally masculine roles (or occasionally, in fandoms of non-Western media, buff Asian dudes)

Speaking of which, when I went to confirm this I found that someone on AO3 really made a fucking race science chart LMAO

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The only way they got "Latina" and "Ambiguous" into the top 15 was by attributing those races respectively to Wednesday Addams and Hermione fucking Granger, my sides.
 
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