Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[JambledUpWords]

Jack's hatred of engagement farming while consistently playing into it will always make me smile.

I’m surprised he hasn’t posted an Elon meme to engagement farm. If he really wanted to drive up engagement, he should just look at the trending page and post based on that.

 

[Bassomatic]

I’m surprised he hasn’t posted an Elon meme to engagement farm. If he really wanted to drive up engagement, he should just look at the trending page and post based on that.

Jack should beg Elon to make keto pretzels or something "you build rockets make me carivore cheetos bj: bj:"

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

If he really wanted to drive up engagement, he should just look at the trending page and post based on that.

If Jack was aware of current trends and how to take advantage of them for views, would he even be Jack anymore? A big part of what makes his yt content so funny is that he is consistently late to internet food trends.

 

[Tiresome]

He just photographs himself with a Bible he can't hold or read, in a post bragging that he keeps one in every room of his house

Don't forget I seem to recall he had a Bible buried under the cornerstone of the new Lard Mansion. The same piece of shit who hates Christmas and everything about it except his own gifts. The textbook definition of a Fake American Christian.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

He's no longer at murder church too many blacks "oh poor dressers" is what he said.

He did go back to Cornerstone, the church founded by the murderer Maury Davis, but the Davis family is no longer involved in it. The new pastor is some Skeletor-looking weirdo named Jeremy who posts creepshots of himself and his teenaged daughter, and is probably in a gay affair with another member of the ministry there.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

IMO Tammy Junior is preggo.


One day Jack Junior will have his very own Garrett-Jamal Junior to choke !


Jack sr will be an asshole and probably have a stroke when he isn’t the center of attention for five seconds, assuming he makes it the next 9 months

Scalfatty Jr isn't going to have a son because he's gay like his father. It's Jim Traynor's son. We all know this.

My favorite example of this was a couple years ago when he got mad at someone on Facebook for asking about Epiphany being the real end of Christmas season. According to Jack, it doesn't count since it's not in the Bible. This is the absolute state of American Protestantism.

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What a miserable faggot he is.

Besides all the trappings of Christmas, the caroling, feasting, giving gifts and even decorating trees is pagan in origin. Everything about Christmas is the same as the pagan festival of Saturnalia but with Jesus slapped on top of it. And while we're at it, can Fatty show in the bible where it says you need to put up the Christmas decorations right after Thanksgiving? Oh right nowhere but he does it anyway.

Jack wants to get pissy Jesus was born under the Julian Calander so his birthday would be January 6th come on Jack you know January 6th.

If you really want to get technical it would be the spring or fall but personal head canon? October.

Spoiler: date sperging

The Romans, from which we got the Julian calendar, used to use a 10 month calendar before hand. Why 10 months? It's because January through March was a time that nothing could be done. It was too cold, the crops couldn't be planted and it's why Aries is the first sign of the Zodiac. This was their new year starting in mid-March.

The months were: Martius for March, Aprilis for April, Maius for May and Iunius for June because the J didn't exist yet. Months July through December were simply numbered. Quintilis for July literally meaning "Fifth Month". Sextilis, September, October, November, December for August to December which was tenth month.

Later on when Julius added January and February the 7th through 10th months names remained instead of being renamed Undecember and Duodecmber as the 11th and 12th months. So If Jesus was born in October it kinda fits. He was born then as the shepherds would still have been out in the fields with their flocks and it's a misunderstanding of the naming of the months. Instead of being born in the 10th month which at that point as named "October" it was changed to the 12th month and put in "December".

Or maybe I'm just overthinking things and deserve some puzzle pieces.

tl;dr: Fatty is an idiot.

The gun sperg in me is shaking violently, I'll spare you all tho. Not that jack is able to give advice on anything aside getting fat. Legit the only person he could help is eugenea cooley the skeltim queen.

That doesn't bother as much as the fact she bought it because it was "cute". Guns aren't accessories. They don't have to be colored in pink and purple to appeal to ladies.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Falcon Sebben can't quote your post but yeah if you want to get technical Jesus was likely not born in Winter and celebrating it on the 25th of December was to replace the Sol Invictus festival replacing Sun God with Son of God it was all Roman marketing. They realized people are more attached to their customs and traditions than the actual God they're praying to. They did the same for the Irish and Halloween. But that would either go over fatty's head or he'd call it liberal propaganda even though it's not denying Christ existed just debating when he was born.

 

[AnOminous]

My favorite example of this was a couple years ago when he got mad at someone on Facebook for asking about Epiphany being the real end of Christmas season. According to Jack, it doesn't count since it's not in the Bible. This is the absolute state of American Protestantism.

Jack sucks at Christianity even more than he sucks at cooking. Not surprising for a worthless hedonist shithead who used to attend a church run by a drugged out murderer.

 

[JambledUpWords]

If Jack was aware of current trends and how to take advantage of them for views, would he even be Jack anymore? A big part of what makes his yt content so funny is that he is consistently late to internet food trends.

Maybe in the year 2025 he’ll discover sushi burritos exist

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I just want to know when Jack's months-long fundraiser for Convoy of Hope surpasses $500.

It really shows how little people, even those he knows from the murderchurch, like and trust him.

 

[lindsayfan]

ANOTHER CARNIVORE RECIPE

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and another lazy a.i. pic. looking forward to contrasting this with the actual cooked result.


fat sack of shit is so LAZY AND INCURIOUS he can't even google what his own fucking family name means. spoiler: it's a butchered version of "sclafani." the letters got transposed either by another illiterate dago or the clerks at ellis island.

EDIT: here's a random local-press piece from 12 years ago, when jack was riding high(er).

https://archive.is/T86dz

somehow nothing about his "best sauce" origin story rings true to me.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

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This genuinely mystifies me. I don't understand it, what is an oxymoron about it?

I'm asking this of a guy who can barely see let alone understand Blue's Clues, of course.

 

[lindsayfan]

This genuinely mystifies me. I don't understand it, what is an oxymoron about it?

i'm stumped too, although i suspect we'll never learn the answer... because the answer is that all jack has in his skull anymore is 'carnivore meat chili'

 

[Woggie's child bride]

truly fucking hilarious. guess the "starbucks / guitar army / laser light show " church jack attends doesn't believe in 12 days of christmas-- you get ONE day off and then it's back to work [OBJ]

i'm hardly a scholar of protestantism but i thought every church at least acknowledged epiphany/12th night -- either as the day the kings rolled in or the day of jesus' baptism.

Usually all but Christmas day or whenever is free to do something with the family are considered unimportant. Not everyone has the luxury of getting Christmas day off, much less almost *two weeks*. "The twelve days of Christmas" is just a song in the US and one which many people are confused about why there are even twelve days to begin with.

 

[Marc]

This genuinely mystifies me. I don't understand it, what is an oxymoron about it?

"Look it up. Do your own research. You can't expect people to always hold your hand and walk you through everything." - Jack, before and after asking Tammy to check if he shit himself (because he forgot what her verdict was), and who, ironically, cannot hold his own hand or walk without help.

 

[Super Hans v2]

This genuinely mystifies me. I don't understand it, what is an oxymoron about it?

I'm asking this of a guy who can barely see let alone understand Blue's Clues, of course.

You have to understand the thought process of a retard.

Jack doesn't know what words mean. If he knew better, he would've instead said something like 'hypocritical' or 'two-faced,' because he's trying to get across that a company like Amazon shouldn't be anywhere near a show about Jewish history.

 

[Aunt Carol]

fat sack of shit is so LAZY AND INCURIOUS he can't even google what his own fucking family name means. spoiler: it's a butchered version of "sclafani." the letters got transposed either by another illiterate dago or the clerks at ellis island.

"Sacred to the god Aesculapius," the Roman god of medicine

That's pretty funny, though. Good thing Jack can't read.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

"Sacred to the god Aesculapius," the Roman god of medicine

That's pretty funny, though. Good thing Jack can't read.

It is absolutely hilarious. "Gifted in the field of medicine and healing" . Meanwhile Jack and Charles promote theories about SHUGAR causing cancer and coffee causing strokes.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Falcon Sebben can't quote your post but yeah if you want to get technical Jesus was likely not born in Winter and celebrating it on the 25th of December was to replace the Sol Invictus festival replacing Sun God with Son of God it was all Roman marketing. They realized people are more attached to their customs and traditions than the actual God they're praying to. They did the same for the Irish and Halloween. But that would either go over fatty's head or he'd call it liberal propaganda even though it's not denying Christ existed just debating when he was born.

Yeah I'm totally aware of that fact but I'm trying to give an example of how something can go from being one thing to another. One example, since we're on the topic, Jesus' mother being a literal virgin. It's all part of the mythology. The word used in the original Hebrew could mean virgin but typically meant "young woman of marrying age". It's like in Japanese the term "shoujo" means "young woman" or "girl" but it can also mean "virgin". As such a "young woman of marrying age" is now translated as "virgin" which also matches the whole special person "born of a virgin" which was a big thing in mythological circles. But we're getting way off topic here so to bring it back, "Scalfatty is fat and I wouldn't have sex with him".

This genuinely mystifies me. I don't understand it, what is an oxymoron about it?

I'm asking this of a guy who can barely see let alone understand Blue's Clues, of course.

Probably thinks that "David" means "house". I mean there is a name out there that when translated from Hebrew means "house" but it's not David. It's "Beth".

Just another example of Fatty being a complete mushbrain.

Meanwhile Jack and Charles promote theories about SHUGAR causing cancer and coffee causing strokes.

Yet this faggot still drinks coffee.

But maybe that's why he drinks it piss weak? He thinks that if he chooses the lighter roasts and uses more water he's making it "healthy"?

 

[Doctor of Autism]

New Jack letterbox review