To people that say that this person isn't a grifter. Allow me to do a review of this episode of Dr. House
>0:20
>Paper Snap
Oh fuck he has a list written down for whenever someone asks him this specific question.
>0:33
>So i had a biopsy done in a tumor on the back of my head, it came back with B-Cell Lymphoma
>They followed up with pet scan blood work
>Benign growth in the pituitary
>HIS THYROID LIGHTS UP SO THEY DID MORE TESTING
>AND NOW HE GOT DIAGNOSED WITH HASHIMOTO'S
Okay so far we have brain cancer and hashimoto's BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE
>1:14
>Doctors want to do more testing they want bone marrow biopsy
>They did that and it came back okay
>They sent him to an oncologist
>This is first month or two and everything is progressing okayish
>And then EVERYTHING STARTS GOING TITS UP
>He goes massively hypertensive
>From normal BP to 140 over 90
>Doctor instantly is like oh this is White Lab Coat Syndrome ( Anxiety raising BP around doctors and being normal at home )
>But they see it's constantly there so they wanna give him BP medicine
>Without any diagnosis as to what is causing the high BP apparently
Alright so we have abnormaly high BP added to his afflictions what else is there scoob
>2:10
>Then out of nowhere total loss of fucking appetite and i must have loss over 40 to 50 pounds
Okay so he is a skeleton as well apparently
>There was no signal telling me i need to eat
So he had to lose 40 to 50 pounds to realize something is wrong here ? Was he too busy jerking off to purity sin ?
>He is looking at protein shakes to stop looking like a male version of Elaine.
>2:40
>Then i start having these horrific fucking pains up by the diaphragm some of the worst pain i ever experienced, it dropped me down to my knees
>First time it's 10 minutes long, i thought it was some kinda weird stomach acid thing or i dont know but it went away
>Then it happens again but this time it doesnt go away
>So i go to the hospital and they do imaging tests AND THE PANCREAS IS SWOLLEN, they check the lipase levels AND BETWEEN 100-300 IS NORMAL AND IT IS 1800
Ok so swollen pancreas has being added to the list of afflictions. At this point this person has more dots than someone getting ganked by an affli lock BUT LET'S CONTINUE.
>3:30
>Ok so you are having an acute pancreatic attack Janny James we will need to hospitalize you for a week or 2 maybe 3 AND AFTER AN HOUR WHILE HE WAS EXPLAINING THIS THE PAIN JUST STOPS! IT GOES AWAY COMPLETELY!
>Ok so i guess since it stopped i am outta here peace
What ? WASNT THIS PERSON DYING AND IN DIRE NEED OF HOSPITALIZATION ?
>The ER Doctor got angry about that
WELL OF COURSE HE DID JACKASS YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DYING LIKE AN HOUR AGO. HE JUST WASTED HIS FUCKING TIME ON YOU.
>They reran my lipase and now it was at the low-end of normal so it went from 6x the normal to nothing
>so things started kinda getting weird from that point on
>4:25
>It was at this point that the Doctor's started being concerned that there is weird shit happening
At this point you need a Witch Doctor.
>4:29
>I had this jaw pain that started extending up into my ear
>Then i started losing hearing
>Got Tinnitus
>The pain extended up into my eye
>I lost control of my eye
>All the muscles were cut off
>My eyeball is free-floating
>One day i look in the mirror and my eyeball is floating everywhere
I saw it out my window just now. I'll send it to
@EyeGuy for his collection.
>Went to the ER
>ER doesn't know what's going on, this might be auto-ocular palsy
>Am i having a stroke
>Am i gonna retarded
Yes you did in fact go retarded
>So how do we make sure i am not having a retard stroke
>They did a CTA or an MRA ( Men Right's Activists ? probably he means MRI )
>It comes back
>It's not auto-ocular palsy
>Your vertebral artery is dissected
>And you have a pseudoaneurysm on the right side
>And also another dissection on the left side in your neck
Didn't know Jade was the Taiwanese version of a Blade villain. Sucking his blood at night.
>This might have been a trans ischemic attack you might have had a mini stroke
>So what do i do
>You take a baby aspirin
????? The motherfucker has every affliction known to man and this guy just gives him a baby aspirin
>5:53
>He takes the baby aspirin
>The great eye in the sky returns back to his head
>The hypertension also goes away
>Which doesn't make sense cause aspirins shouldn't affect hypertension
No shit they shouldn't. Sounds more like a placebo effect to me.
>6:04
>Right after that i lose more of my hearing
>Goes to the ENT repeatedly
>Doing some diagram that they check the hearing
>Doing internal medicine up at mayo
>They are sending me to all the specialists
>Gastroenterologist is up there and he says it's not an acute pancreatic attack whatever this is it's something that mimics that but i guarantee its not
>I see the hearing guy, he says it could be labyrinthitis in your ear, autoimmune labyrinthitis or autoimmune inner ear disease
>They checked the different antibody shit for Hogans
Does he also have the HULKOMANIA ?
>They didn't think it was Meniere's because i didnt have the vertigo
>So after all these tests and workup done they come back and say, "Uhhh we don't know what's going on"
>IG levels are all fucked up
>T-Cell stuff is also all fucked up
>They check me for Jack 2 mutation
More like Jack 2 v-tubers mutation
>They want to put him through a diagnostic Odyssey in genomics
>They want to have him genetically tested to figure out what the hell is going on
Where is Doctor House when you need him man, he can at least guarantee you it's not lupus
WAIT WHAT THERE IS MORE
>7:10
>I start losing sensation in my legs, each side of the legs all the way to the feet
>Did we put him on Predisone is this Predisone related neuropathy ?
>They start checking for Diabetes
ISNT THIS PERSON A FUCKING SKELETON ? HE LOST LIKE 50 POUNDS
>it comes back fine
>nerve conductivity test guy does test and says UUUH THIS IS WEIRD, WERE YOU BEATEN ? WERE YOU IN A FIGHT OR SOMETHING ?
>we do this test to see if this pattern matches up with a disease or something
>it shows that there is a dysfunction but the dysfunction is really weird
>we actually think the machine might be broken
Is he now a battered housewife ? Did Jade throw him down the stairs one too many times when she catched him donating to purity sin ?
>8:10
>Then i start getting skin infections
NIGGER THERE IS MORE ?
>Staph infections all over my body which makes no sense
How is this person still alive ?
>Hypertension comes back now it's 150 over 100
>They put him on BP meds
>Losing more sensation different nerves start to get fucked up in the body
>It just goes on and on
>Then there is a growth in his throat and he has to go to the ENT
Even more cancer why not fuck it might as well
>And that's where i am at it's one thing after another
>Specialist to specialist go see another specialist
>They do these specialized blood tests
>This chick said and i'll read you the exact fucking thing
>THE CONDITION THAT I WOULD RECOMMEND ASSESSING THROUGH IMMUNOLOGY IS CDT CELL RECEPTOR COMPLEX DISORDERS CAUSING IMMUNODEFFICIENCY MHC CLASS ONE DEFFICIENCIES
>and then she is like well something like paralymphocite
>So the neurologist is like we should also test you for Small Fiber Neuropathy and we need to do a biopsy
>Then another guy is like well we need to check your spine
>Cause we noticed weird shit there some kinda growth
So even more cancer ? HOW MUCH CANCER DOES HE HAVE.
>ENT is looking at the throat and is like we don't think that's cancer maybe that's a cyst or something
Maybe the cancer just relocated to his fucking spine idk at this point.
>Maybe we wanna biopsy that we don't know
EXCUSE ME BUT WHY IN THE FUCK ARE ALL THESE DOCTORS SO INDECISIVE AND GO UUUH IDK LIKE THIS IS SOME KINDA CARTOON ? ARE ALL OF THEM INTERNS OR SOME SHIT ? WTF IS GOING ON.
>But they don't wanna cut me up and take samples
Didn't we literally start with a BONE MARROW BIOPSY ?
>All i know is that the moment i had that biopsy and i am not placing it on the doctor cause whoever did it was a great doctor, but the moment they cut that fucking tumor out my body went apeshit and idk why and idk what it relates to
>I think this is why they want to test perineoplasty syndrome
>They're all just throwing shit out there
Yeah because this is how medicine is done. You just throw shit at the wall and you see what sticks.
So to recap:
>B-Cell Lymphoma
>Hashimoto's
>He lost 50 pounds so he is a skeleton
>He is massively hypertensive
>Swollen Pancreas that magically returns to normal
>Auto-ocular palsy, flying eye syndrome which he can bring back to his body from the sky with baby aspirins
>Dissections in the left side of his neck and right side of his eye
>retard stroke
>some kind of labyrinthitis
>jaw pains
>cancer to his throat that now resides at his spine, it just packed his bags and went to visit some other part of his body
>even more hypertension
>jack 2 v-tubers mutation
>hulkomania
>lost sensation in his legs all the way up to his feet
>staph infections all over his body
>Jade beats him up daily, maybe she even rapes him
>Now at his neck resides a cyst which isn't cancer
>IG and T-Cell levels are all kinds of fucked up
How is this person even alive ?
