Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Adamska]

New Jack letterbox review

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He's really committed to defending this pile of shit, which is hilarious given that's wrong think in his crowd due to how it pushes against traditional families and fetishizes adoption.

 

[Tiresome]

I'm surprised Jack didn't dock the film a star because he was disappointed there was no cruising.

 

[biggacracka]

Probably thinks that "David" means "house". I mean there is a name out there that when translated from Hebrew means "house" but it's not David. It's "Beth".

Just another example of Fatty being a complete mushbrain.

Even then, that'd be repetition/redundant/pleonasm
But the brain must mush on I guess

 

[p1138]

"it's being slammed by reviewers and I don't know why" Gee, I don't know try reading the reviews? Most of which consider it boring, unnecessary, and an example of Disney being creatively bankrupt. But when I guess your ideal example of a movie is "no swearing, no gays, no blacks, no boobies" there is a lot of slop that can meet that criteria for a high score.

 

[biggacracka]

"it's being slammed by reviewers and I don't know why" Gee, I don't know try reading the reviews? Most of which consider it boring, unnecessary, and an example of Disney being creatively bankrupt. But when I guess your ideal example of a movie is "no swearing, no gays, no blacks, no boobies" there is a lot of slop that can meet that criteria for a high score.

>trying
>jack
>reading
>jack
Lol

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

"it's being slammed by reviewers and I don't know why" Gee, I don't know try reading the reviews? Most of which consider it boring, unnecessary, and an example of Disney being creatively bankrupt. But when I guess your ideal example of a movie is "no swearing, no gays, no blacks, no boobies" there is a lot of slop that can meet that criteria for a high score.

His head would explode if he saw anything reviewed on RedLetterMedia.

 

[Marc]

Don't get my hopes up for seeing "exploded head" on Jack's death certificate.

Yet this faggot still drinks coffee.

But maybe that's why he drinks it piss weak? He thinks that if he chooses the lighter roasts and uses more water he's making it "healthy"?

It's because Jack - even at his most capable - was and is a low-functioning narcissist; compelled to flagrantly and lazily cheat every rule imposed upon him, and to contradict any authority figures in his life. Even when a medical team tells him that the obvious consequences of eating himself to death dictates he stop spiking his blood pressure with caffeine, the only extent to which he's willing to internalize being told "no" is to ask why theeese dock-turz even bother trying to make rules for exceptional people such as himself. In Jagoff's cookie monster eyes, he's being the "bigger man" through indulging and compromising with these fools by diluting his coffee with twice the amount of water and then drinking twice as much coffee with twice as much Torani syrup (which Tammy diligently pumps; to pacify her giant baby between servings of BIG MEETZ).

If Jack's pulpork heaven he thinks he's going to actually existed and admitted him, he would still be exiled to hell within minutes - Because no rule has ever applied to him; and he considers himself accountable only to the god created in his image.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

He's really committed to defending this pile of shit, which is hilarious given that's wrong think in his crowd due to how it pushes against traditional families and fetishizes adoption.

I didn't see anyone for it, but I saw a decent number in line for Sonic 3.

 

[AnOminous]

He's really committed to defending this pile of shit, which is hilarious given that's wrong think in his crowd due to how it pushes against traditional families and fetishizes adoption.

Imagine thinking you're an anti-SJW and then fawning over wokeshit because you're too dumb even to recognize it.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack is going to review two movies that no one gives a shit about



Also remember when he said he was going to review Squid Game Season 2, honestly hope he gets a heart attack from that given the second season has a trans character which is part of his "political agendas" crtieria

Jack promotes "Slop on the go"



What is he talking about?

 

[p1138]

What is he talking about?

Thinking his retarded observations about what he finds on amazon prime video or netflix are somehow meaningful, in a piss poor attempt at his most hated activity, engagement farming. Which of course doesn't seem to have worked seeing as how he's received 2 whole votes. More interestingly, he thinks his stupid podcast is "TRENDING" or something?

The link is just to the twitter stream.

 

[King Dead]

What a miserable faggot he is.

Besides all the trappings of Christmas, the caroling, feasting, giving gifts and even decorating trees is pagan in origin. Everything about Christmas is the same as the pagan festival of Saturnalia but with Jesus slapped on top of it. And while we're at it, can Fatty show in the bible where it says you need to put up the Christmas decorations right after Thanksgiving? Oh right nowhere but he does it anyway.

Slightly off topic, but this is incorrect. The myth of "Christmas is just a rebranded pagan festival" gets repeated constantly every year by people who don't actually do any research into the topic, such that it's become generally accepted as fact despite having no historical basis. This article (just realized he also posted an updated version this year) delves into the details and provides links to even more explanations, and it's written by an atheist so there's no conflict of interest in trying to portray Christianity in a better light. (He did similar articles about Easter and Halloween as well.)

This isn't a ding against you personally or anything, to be clear; I don't blame you for relating things that sound plausible. I'm a Christian and even I thought that a lot of the "it's just pagan!" myths made sense. I was fascinated to learn about the real history, and I hope you'll find it interesting too.

On topic, Jack is such a fucking wet blanket wanting to tear down all his decorations once the day of Christmas is over. My dad always keeps his decorations up through Epiphany since it's still the Christmas season, and on the night of Epiphany he keeps the lights on all through the night to emulate the star the wise men followed. Not only do you not have to deal with taking things down immediately after the busy holiday, you get to enjoy the display for a bit longer. Jack doesn't know how to experience joy, of course, so naturally he has to get rid of it all ASAP.

 

[lindsayfan]

Not everyone has the luxury of getting Christmas day off, much less almost *two weeks*.

true, the chinese factory workers who make jack's grills work 12 hour days 365.

i am relieved to learn the kids movie about lions is free of cruising scenes. i hope jack will make this a regular metric in his reviews going forward.

 

[AnOminous]

This isn't a ding against you personally or anything, to be clear; I don't blame you for relating things that sound plausible. I'm a Christian and even I thought that a lot of the "it's just pagan!" myths made sense. I was fascinated to learn about the real history, and I hope you'll find it interesting too.

A lot of the reason people think this is the Romans. Generally, the Romans in their imperialism had a carrot and stick approach. You could surrender and become Roman subjects, and they'd let you keep your local gods and religious practices, and while you had to pay tribute, a huge bonus was that pretty much absolutely nobody else would fuck with you or they'd be answering to the Romans.

Or you could be absolutely and utterly obliterated and enslaved.

So they weren't going to do away with local celebrations and festivals, but at least after Constantine, you were going to be at least nominally Christian. So some of the trappings of the "big winter festival" that pretty much any Western country has had since time immemorial may predate Christianity, but when celebrated as part of Christianity, the actual substantive thrust of the holiday is deeply Christian.

Also Jackoff's bullshit about Epiphany is yet another example of what a colossal retard he is. "Hurr durr it didn't use the specific word 'epiphany' so it doesn't exist." STFU retard, you're out of your element.

 

[Woggie's child bride]

It is absolutely hilarious. "Gifted in the field of medicine and healing" . Meanwhile Jack and Charles promote theories about SHUGAR causing cancer and coffee causing strokes.

Clearly jack is onto something, he's survived more strokes than most people will have in their entire social group.

New Jack letterbox review

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"No nudity"? Jack... every character without exception is an animal and I don't think a single one of them is wearing clothes.

Also remember when he said he was going to review Squid Game Season 2, honestly hope he gets a heart attack from that given the second season has a trans character which is part of his "political agendas" crtieria

I think you give Jack's perception too much credit, have you seen some of the movies he's claimed don't have violence in them? He'll probably see the troon and think "damn I wished Tammy was built like that" while the character's motivation of trying to get money for the cockchop goes in one ear and out the other.

Thread tax from Jacks facebook(because it's the only thing I could access besides his youtube without making an account):

Is hey really know the hammer's coming?

 

[Marc]

Just wanted to remind everyone of this.

I love that Jack's narcissism has preserved so many years of shame for us to revisit and contextualize; knowing how it all ends.

 

[TrainWreckSpotter]

Just wanted to remind everyone of this.

I love that Jack's narcissism has preserved so many years of shame for us to revisit and contextualize; knowing how it all ends.

Just the fact that he had/has the comments disabled tells you all you need to know. Lolcows always do this when they know that viewers know that they're full of shit.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Just wanted to remind everyone of this.

I love that Jack's narcissism has preserved so many years of shame for us to revisit and contextualize; knowing how it all ends.

Also keep in mind this was 3 years ago, not 13 years ago.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

Nothing like celebrating the new years with a Buc-ees outfit on, I guess?

 

[biggacracka]

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Nothing like celebrating the new years with a Buc-ees outfit on, I guess?

Nothing says Classy like wearing a buc-ee's shirt at NYE
At least his dandruff will not look as obvious with the stars and sparkles lmao