Megathread Non-binary genders / Enbies - When Male and Female Aren't Special Enough

[LimeRikki]

This woman admits that gender is made up but claims to have no control over how people perceive her. I swear this movement has contributed to the most bizarre feelings of entitlement in people to things that are literally impossible, and then blames everyone else for why they get depressed when they don't get it.
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"Nobody I know is willing to genuinely deconstruct how they conceptualize gender to truly understand how I feel."

A.) Not their job you narcissist
B.) The fact that other people don't do this and don't feel a need to do this should be a learning moment for this person, but it won't be.

 

[Jacques1194]

"Nobody I know is willing to genuinely deconstruct how they conceptualize gender to truly understand how I feel."

A.) Not their job you narcissist
B.) The fact that other people don't do this and don't feel a need to do this should be a learning moment for this person, but it won't be.

What gets me is that these people then go and say "Its not my job to educate you! Do the research yourself." Like yeah, you expect me to sit here and study somebody's made-up lore so that I can better understand how you're an antigirl/genderflux/lesbian. That'd be like trying to make me learn all about somebody's magical dragonwolf fursona because the 15-year-old nerd on Tumblr just made it up recently.

 

[scathefire]

Why do people always take me for a cis woman no matter what I do? How can I change that?

Why do people who dress more feminine get less misgendered than I do?

…Because people still inherently know how to tell the difference between men and women? Wearing stupid clothes isn’t going to defy billions of years of evolution.

 

[Church Lurker]

This woman admits that gender is made up but claims to have no control over how people perceive her. I swear this movement has contributed to the most bizarre feelings of entitlement in people to things that are literally impossible, and then blames everyone else for why they get depressed when they don't get it.
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So, you relate to women more but still want to more gender neutral because "sometimes, it's all too much" the amount of narcissism in these people is unreal

 

[Izdaja Slika]

…Because people still inherently know how to tell the difference between men and women? Wearing stupid clothes isn’t going to defy billions of years of evolution.

In fairness, humans as humans have only been around for about 100,000 years.

But even the first humans knew about male and female, as every creature in the animal kingdom instinctively must do, so your point still stands.

 

[Unifier of Hispania]

Is all that just because people don't want to use the word "transvestite"? I get it sounds weird, but it literally means "person who dresses up as the opposite sex", which happens to describe exactly what "non-binary" people are.

 

[scathefire]

But even the first humans knew about male and female, as every creature in the animal kingdom instinctively must do, so your point still stands.

Yeah that’s what I meant. Knowing it instinctively is required in order to even reproduce.

 

[Trombonista]

Is all that just because people don't want to use the word "transvestite"? I get it sounds weird, but it literally means "person who dresses up as the opposite sex", which happens to describe exactly what "non-binary" people are.

Most of them aren't even doing that, so the word "transvestite" wouldn't work.

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Plain old transvestism doesn't even get them the wanted attention anymore.

 

[and I must scream]

I find everything about non-binary to be big L because the people identifying as such refuse to accept that no one will ever see them as anything other than their sex, and that people who don't know them personally have no freaking idea what they are supposed to be and how they would like to be referred. With binary trans who make some effort you at least get the idea of what they are going for (and I think some do pass at least at a glance, mainly trans men), but with non-binary this would never happen because humans are incapable of not seeing sex and not inserting every person into one of the two categories, man and woman. It's impossible. We are sexually dimorphic animals and there are only two sexes, humans learn from an extremely young age to differentiate between the two and that is that. It is as inherently as learning a native language, perhaps even more. People just put a label in their heads that says "this woman (female) is non-binary" or "this man (male) is non-binary" so they would know how to talk to them and about them, but they never stop actually seeing them as men or women (or teenage boys/teenage girls). And that includes the people who identify as non-binary as well. They do it too, they just lie to themselves and to others about that.

It's really pathetic to see comments like "I came out to my parents, they were a bit confused but I educated them and now they support me!", "I just came out to my close friends and they totally support me!" or "I came out to my partner and they say they'll support me". They are humoring you you idiot. They just think, or hope, that this is a stupid phase that would pass. They still see you as the sex you are and they will never stop doing that because it's impossible. Enjoy the dysphoria of being forever misgendered because nobody knows what the hell you think you are, and even when they do calling a person "they/them" is unnatural and very difficult to get used to even when people really try. If you have a partner there is bound to be a moment you'd realize they think of you as the sex you are and nothing else. Enjoy the inevitable feeling of betrayal when you discover that and the breaking out after consulting the echo chamber who tells you to leave them immediately because that person obviously doesn't accept the real you. So much trans joy.

 

[TruffleSpark]

we seem to have already passed peak nonbinary

 

[AI generated waifu]

I remember back in 2015/16 when Undertale came out, it was the first time I've learned about and seen anything 'representing' non binary identity in a piece of media.

There used to be this big fandom war about 'respecting' Frisk's (the main character's) pronouns and such, with there being a very large (more normie) part of the fandom that either saw them as a boy or girl. It's interesting reflecting on this, since right now people are generally more familiar with the concept and are thus much more readily defending it as canon.

Since non binary is inevitably going to fall out of fashion, I'm wondering if we'll return to a bunch of people just not caring about 'respecting' the identities of the fictional characters and misgendering them against the author's wishes.

 

[Apustajan apustaja]

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we seem to have already passed peak nonbinary

It will be interesting to see if they(them) also will have people that stick with it despite the fad being over. Because there are always some that do, there is this really cool goth grandma in my city, and you sometime see old grayhaired hippies, they always make me happy when I see them. But I doubt that middle-aged non-binairies will be cool, or make me happy to see them.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

The terf side of X is posting a cornucopia of these nuts today, from various subreddits. This one is set to private.

https://www.reddit.com/user/freshoutofducks22

This user is just now starting day one of sobriety.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Sober/comments/1g3m8mp/day_1/

Also wants to know:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/1ekw813/ds_and_bpd/

Does anyone have experience navigating a dynamic where the Dom has borderline personality disorder? Looking for advice on how to manage splitting or anything else helpful. Thanks!

What could go wrong?

https://www.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/1emdza6/247_sub_to_sex_only/

Hi! I recently switched from being a 24/7 sub for 2yrs to sex only with my partner whom I live with. Looking for advice and/or shared experiences with those who have done something similar.

IMO this doesn’t have to be literally just sex, if can also be flirting, non-sex scenes, and little nods to the dynamic during the day just no longer in a service or submissive status during normal daily tasks.

My Dom is being respectful of my boundaries but is not really for my decision.

The borderline PD "dom" is also on HRT:

https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/comments/1ah983b/1_year_on_hrt_celebration_ideas/

My partner is about to have their HRT anniversary! Ideas on how to celebrate?

Looks like the dom is a pooner:

https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/comments/164pj6z/aggression_on_t/

My wonderful partner has been on T for 7 months now and he is struggling with being quick to anger. Does anyone know about how long this lasts?

They have a substantial age gap:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AgeGap/comments/11jh7pv/what_does_old_age_look_like/

I’m 37 and my fiancé is 28. Right now it’s all well and good but what does this look like when I’m 77 and they’re 68?
Will I just be a burden?

This was just the first one I randomly clicked on to look at the user history. Good grief.

 

[Izdaja Slika]

I’m 37 and my fiancé is 28. Right now it’s all well and good but what does this look like when I’m 77 and they’re 68?
Will I just be a burden?

Imagine imagining that your exogenous-testosterone-injecting pooner partner is going to survive until she's 68.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Another one:

So I intend to get top surgery within the next year or so and by the time I do my child will be 5. Does anyone have good advice on an age appropriate way to explain why "mommy" is having this surgery? I'm not so much worried about the concept of gender, more the scary-ness of seeing a parent going into an operating room. I had an operation earlier this year and even though I was upbeat and positive about it my child was very anxious and afraid for me. They also had a hard time with my recovering at home because I was in bed all the time and they didn't understand why I couldn't wrestle or play. Top surgery will be much more involved with a longer recovery. (I have a supportive spouse who is a great parent so there is some other support)

I've come up with a few things to explain the change, but I know the surgery part might scare them. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!

Red Rufio is also looking into facial hair grafts:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ftm/comments/1gucydo/no_t_facial_hair_graft/

I'm wondering if anyone here as had facial hair grafting without the support of HRT afterward. I've always wanted sideburns but I don't want to go on T. From what I've read, there are mixed results for using minoxodil(sp?) especially if you're not also on T.

Would a facial hair skin graft take without T?

Going by "Jovi" short for Jovial:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TransTryouts/comments/1fa0jax/jovial_jovijo/

Hi friends! I'm non-binary and trying to choose a new name. I've hit upon Jovi, which I really love because it has full name and nickname options and feels pretty gender neutral. If you could help me test it out I would be grateful. I'm an artist, jewelry maker and I love to stream and play horror games. Thanks!

Married 13 years to a man, came out just a couple months ago. Oof.

https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/comments/1gkcxad/ftm_and_cis_male_partnership_success_stories/

Hey friends,

I've read a lot of really encouraging success stories on here involving MtF and Cis Female couples, but I see mostly negative outcomes for FtM and Cis Male Partnerships long term. I could really use some positive stories. For context, I'm a FtM/NB and my spouse of 13 years is Cis Male. I came out several months ago. It's been touch and go so far but I can tell he is doing his best to be supportive of my journey, even though he's expressed some real discomfort with parts of it. We have a strong relationship but I'm worried that as I transition that things will deteriorate. I know everyone is different, but I think reading positive stories really helps me keep from spiraling in catastrophic thinking. Thanks in advance.

Posts pics of herself larping as someone from a BBC period drama:

https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1gcaqq4/first_successful_windsor_knot/

https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1fn5ny5/feelin_dapper_as_hell/

She is a SAHM

https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1exaqlz/question_for_partnersspouses/

I recently came out to my husband of 13 years that I'm nonbinary. I made it clear that I'm still experimenting and exploring my gender but that I have no interest in hrt and do not consider myself transgender male (I'm AFAB). However, I am strongly considering top surgery at some point in the future. (Although I have told him I am going to try binders for a while to see if that solves my gender dysphoria issues). He has been mostly supportive and positive in regards to new pronouns, although he has expressed that he would not be attracted to me if I "Transitioned too far", ie. became too male for him.

This is causing me a lot of mental anguish. We have a child together and we live off his income. I have not been in the workforce for the entirety of our marriage. I am afraid I will end up divorced, homeless and lose my child. I get that is probably overblown but my mind can't help but go there.

I'm reaching out to long term spouses/partners of individuals who have transitioned later in life or later in the relationship because I guess I need reassurance if there is any to offer. Did you feel similar to my husband when you found out? Were your fears founded or did you learn to love your partner in their new body?

And her MIL is a 'phobe, oh no!

https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1fij0rq/dealing_with_transphobic_mil/

I recently came out as NB to my close friends and my spouse. I know eventually though, my MIL will find out. We have a generally good relationship. Not super close, but we can relate on some things. However, she is very conservative and vocally anti-trans. Her hyperfocus there is, of course, trans people in sports. It's *always* where she goes first when it comes up. Up until now, I've just done my best to steer the conversation elsewhere or diffuse it somehow. But at this point in my life I'm kind of sick of letting bigots have the floor without being challenged, just to keep the peace. Why are they the only ones who get to voice their shitty opinions at family get-togethers and the rest of us just have to laugh nervously and fume in private?

Basically, I'm thinking about the holidays coming up in a few months and I'd like some pointers on how to handle a confrontation assuming I don't want to just stay quiet (which I don't). Because this also means I risk "causing a scene" and being the A**hole during a family get together. Because we all know that's how it goes down.

Any pointers? How do hold I my own against my MIL in the future? Anyone have helpful stories? Thanks

FFS this bitch is 38. You think you're safe and you have your normal wife and kid and family life and your fucking 38 year old perimenopausal SAHM pulls this shit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/comments/1fia1oj/am_i_pushing_too_hard/

Hi. I'm (38 AFAB, Non-Binary) came out to my spouse (41 cis-male) about a month ago. He's been quietly supportive by giving me space to explore my new identity, try new clothes, new hair etc and has been doing his best to use the right pronouns. We are currently in couple therapy and are working through this big change in our relationship.

My concern is that my transition is stressing him out and he's too afraid to say anything. He has said allowed that I'm the biggest stressor in his life right now and when asking how he's doing he has said, "Well my life is currently falling to pieces". He says these things in sort of a joking manner, but I can tell he's at least partially serious.

I know I can't control how he processes all this, and I want to be able to be authentic, but it makes me sad and worried that I may be causing him distress. I'm trying to balance my emotional needs with his and I don't know if I actually can or if I'm trying to control something I can't. When I press him about it/try to get him to open up about it, be tells me it's not his journey and that it's about me, not him, so he's just trying to stay out of my way. This is a blessing in one way but also hard in another way.

He says he's waiting for me to "figure out where you're going with this." But...that's not how this works. I think he means waiting to see if I'm going to get top surgery or do something more permanent.

I don't know, I guess I'm looking for advice on how to communicate that I care about what he's going through emotionally, without stifling my own growth. And maybe some advice on what I need to let go of in terms of how much control I have over our communication. And I changing too fast? Should I pull it back and try to go slower with the clothing changes/makeup/pronouns? Or is that just more confusing for both of us?

 

[Izdaja Slika]

So I intend to get top surgery within the next year or so and by the time I do my child will be 5. Does anyone have good advice on an age appropriate way to explain why "mommy" is having this surgery? I'm not so much worried about the concept of gender, more the scary-ness of seeing a parent going into an operating room. I had an operation earlier this year and even though I was upbeat and positive about it my child was very anxious and afraid for me. They also had a hard time with my recovering at home because I was in bed all the time and they didn't understand why I couldn't wrestle or play. Top surgery will be much more involved with a longer recovery. (I have a supportive spouse who is a great parent so there is some other support)

I've come up with a few things to explain the change, but I know the surgery part might scare them. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!

Hi angel! I think I should explain why I'll be going into surgery next week and why I intend to make things permanently difficult for you and your father. You see, I am a selfish, narcissist cunt, and because I might live decades longer, I think it's best you find out now how disgusting, heedless, vainglorious and wickedly degenerate I am.

Also sweetheart when you call me 'mommy' it really hurts my feelings so you should reflect on that.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Hi angel! I think I should explain why I'll be going into surgery next week and why I intend to make things permanently difficult for you and your father. You see, I am a selfish, narcissist cunt, and because I might live decades longer, I think it's best you find out now how disgusting, heedless, vainglorious and wickedly degenerate I am.

Also sweetheart when you call me 'mommy' it really hurts my feelings so you should reflect on that.

Really rooting for the clearly miserable and blindsided husband to run to his terf-mother with the kid and make this narcissistic monster's nightmares come true.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

Woof! Normally I can just roll my eyes at tranny/pooner shenanigans but the question about how to explain breast removal surgery to a 5 year old really lit my fuse today.

Kids that age have little experience with real life and often bizarre ideas about ordinary things. It’s just part of being that age and parents have to work hard to stay on top of a lot of s as Cary misunderstandings.

So now this piece of excrement thinks there’s a way to explain this to a 5 year old?

That poor child may end up with some really bad ideas about the human body, doctors and procedures and… ARGH! I think anyone who had experience with timy tots knows what I mean.

The selfishness is beyond mind boggling. If they insist t try get ‘need’ the procedure, they could wait until their child is older and explanations a bit easier.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Woof! Normally I can just roll my eyes at tranny/pooner shenanigans but the question about how to explain breast removal surgery to a 5 year old really lit my fuse today.

Kids that age have little experience with real life and often bizarre ideas about ordinary things. It’s just part of being that age and parents have to work hard to stay on top of a lot of s as Cary misunderstandings.

So now this piece of excrement thinks there’s a way to explain this to a 5 year old?

That poor child may end up with some really bad ideas about the human body, doctors and procedures and… ARGH! I think anyone who had experience with timy tots knows what I mean.

The selfishness is beyond mind boggling. If they insist t try get ‘need’ the procedure, they could wait until their child is older and explanations a bit easier.

The idiot in the replies explaining it to her toddler of only 2 years old, too! "Doctor scissors" making a "happy chest." Somewhere in Central Europe, they are getting ready to hold a whole 3-week conference just to discuss the myriad of bizarre complexes that could be formed by this bizarre imagery.