Fanfiction Horrors

[Petrusha the White]

The only way they got "Latina" and "Ambiguous" into the top 15 was by attributing those races respectively to Wednesday Addams and Hermione fucking Granger, my sides.

Hey, they also listed Vash the Stampede as ambiguous too! I mean yeah, he's not human and all, but he is still pale-skinned and blond with blue/green eyes. And also named Vash, which is either Germanic or French in origin depending on who you ask.

Not sure that the race science chart is 100% revealed preference, though. Maybe 80% at most imo. I think the other 20+% is people being afraid to write characters who aren't white (or white expy, which is how they think of pale-skinned anime characters and those two "MENA" Genshit faggots) because giving them any negative traits/portraying them in a remotely negative light might get them accused of racism. Random accusations of racism are only more common in a lot of the fandoms listed on the chart, because they're the ones popular with the terminally online tumblr porn ban refugee demographic.
Hell, these retards pop up even in fandoms where they're obviously not welcome. Star Trek is about as established, mature, and chill as a fandom can reasonably get... and yet every year we still are forced to witness the same old discourse about whether or not it's anti-semetic to draw fanart of Spock wearing a Christmas sweater. Seems to be new people doing it every year, too... so I imagine that if that sort of thing happens in your fandom constantly instead of just once a year, a lot of people might just straight up avoid writing whatever character replaces Spock in my example here.

Social media fandom was a mistake.

 

[Chandelier]

I've been slacking on the reviews but here are a few I grabbed. It seems even the trans Viktor tag has seen a dip in quality because most of them bore me or the ones that are multi-chapter I want to see finished before I post here. For starters, this author saw massive success with her first trans Viktor fic, getting well over 800 bookmarks, because it was posted during the peak of the JayVik craze. Now, her new fic has barely a tenth of that. This fic is T4T, meaning both are female, and is written by a 'trans and disabled' author:

Spoiler

Right off the bat we have penis/strap dysphoria, because the pooner is instinctively aware she does not have a penis. With this in mind, Jayce the pooner now has to struggle with comparing that roid clit to the BBS - big black strap - and how it makes him cry (no, really). That 'ignored cock' isn't even bigger than the head of that strap-on, how humiliating.

Mmm, which sex cares more about the comfort and safety of one another vs balls-to-the-wall sex while leaving in the morning and never calling back? Which sex cares more about bringing the other to completion? All this take about Guys Being Dudes and you still can't erase that female socialization.

> No universe where Viktor intentionally hurts him
Well he can't, because of that small female body and all.
> Want to watch you take my cock
And it's a black strap-on, because even Hispanics think blacks have the biggest dicks
> Doesn't feel embarrassed as he usually would
Can't escape that dysphoria and inadequacy of not having a real penis, can you? Even in fiction, the pooner is always cowed by the mighty cock. That's why they need to compare their roid clits to one: so they can never be reminded that they're actually female.

That's cute, but it isn't a real dick. It's a strap-on, because both of you are females pretending to have True and Honest Gay sex. We also need to stop with the 'clit twitching' when all I can think of is that tiny roid clit positioned next to the George Floyd cosplay cock.

> is so fucking jealous because that should be him inside, should BE him
Sucks to be born female, eh? It's almost as if you're admitting that roid clit you call a dick isn't remotely comparable to the real thing.

So, Kirkfall has done this in her other viral fic: she has scenes where the character acts like a total bitch and doesn't say what they want or meant, as a means to drum up drama. But it ends up sounding like catty teenage girl shit, because if you are both adults who are comfortable with each other, it should be no problem to say you have a choking kink. Jayce sputters and twiddles his thumbs because he's an uwu trans boi and aren't they so cute?

Can you, like? Talk like proper adults? Like MEN? Because if it wasn't for the crying over not having a dick, this dialogue would've clocked you as female IMMEDIATELY.

> Like a dictionary inside of his head and someone is checking it out for personal use
...what? Literally what the fuck does this mean. You have brain fog, how the fuck do you have a DICTIONARY in there?
> Talking and his fucking dick
Lmao what dick? The George Floyd cosplay, or that roid clit?
> He finds he can't watch anymore
A literal black piece of silicone is making this Brave Trans Man have a mental breakdown. Holy shit.

Look at that, the vibrator is doing all the work. Just like in real life! And which dick is coming to life: your clit, or the strap-on?
> Like he's really fucking him
He isn't, the vibrator is doing the heavy lifting. As it should.

> I like the feeling of you inside me
No, you like a random piece of black silicone because uhhh they're the biggest? Funny, that.
> Makes it easier to go again
Well you're both women with fully functioning vaginas, so...

Gee, I wonder why this fic didn't get nearly as many bookmarks as her original one. Her viral fic has the same plot and the same bitchiness, but I guess the novelty wore out after a while. Sucks to have that colossal fame, only to lose it all once people inevitably grow bored of you.

---

This one is all about boobs, because we're boob addicted in here. Thought the fic was longer, but it turns out she just left a huge ass blank space at the end.

Spoiler

It isn't discredited because Mel's the one promoting it, but whatever. Jayce is obsessed with Viktor's small breasts, and wait until you find out how Viktor 'cures' his dysphoria.

Fellas, is it gay to drop your wine glass all over your pristine white shirt that will show your perky breasts and pert nipples to the Genuinely Gay Guy?

> Waist so thin Jayce's man hands can meet each other tip to tip
> Viktor's tiny pussy can accept Jayce's huge Hispanic Hog in one go
> Obligatory belly bulge

And guess what? That ends up curing his chest dysphoria! Who knew that you could be cured of your transness by getting a nice good dicking? Not me!

We have all the hallmarks of a pooner's hatred of their breasts:
- doesn't like their shape and size, and wants a double mastectomy
- gets bingers and straps, that only exacerbates his medical problems because of warped ribs and necrotic tissue
- isn't good for his overall health, does it anyways because it makes him feel like a Real Man
- has prior bad sexual experiences with other men who only saw and used him for the woman he was (meaning they didn't buy the whole 'my vagina is a male sexual organ' thing
- Establishes no boundaries and just goes with Jayce molesting him, because he 'doesn't want to cause a fuss' and finds out he 'likes it anyways'

Ho hum.

> Never voices concerns or tells Jayce to stop
> Likes it more during ovulation because Real Men go through that
> Suffers from genuine doubt, but never says anything because Puppy Dog Jayce here is too retarded to pick up cues and is so obsessed with breasts he doesn't realize he comes off as a creep
> Say nothing and do nothing because that female socialization is kicking in and you don't want to aggravate the larger and stronger male
Just pooner things.


> Has body dysphoria because of his small breasts
> Creepy boyfriend who only loves him for his breasts says they're fine
> Never expresses concern for his doubts or anything else
> Is literally only obsessed with a body part and not the actual person with them
Just Man things. Oh and if you have white areolas...shit's weird, bro. Seek a doctor because areolas, even on pale skin, are not meant to be white.

That's nice. However, later on in the smut scene, I have no idea if Jayce is fucking Viktor's vagina or his actual stomach.

You mean the G-spot?

See what I mean? Jayce's dick is supposed to be so huge you can see the belly bulge inside Viktor's stomach, but the way this is written makes me think he somehow got INSIDE the stomach and is fucking him there. Ouch. And was the 'hairy balls' comment necessary? I am quite sure Jayce keeps things trimmed down there, thank you very much.

> Releasing jets of cum into his womb
Ah, the classic Hispanic Horse Jayce, where he has a dick like a horse, and cums like one. You think that dysphoria will be fully cured by pregnancy? Maybe the conservatives are onto something.

Annnnnd that's it. Trans Viktor gets a creepy boyfriend obsessed with his breasts, has the dysphoria nearly fucked out of him, and is on the path to becoming your basic cottagecore tradwife. Amazing how the 'a good dicking will cure you' is taken as the word of God among pooners.

Speaking of which, when I went to confirm this I found that someone on AO3 really made a fucking race science chart LMAO

Yep, posted that earlier ITT. It hasn't been updated with the Jayce/Viktor tag yet and that's a Latino/white pair. It's actually really interesting because fanficcers, largely progshit autists, hate niggers and don't want anything darker than a Cuban in their fics. Even the Asians are all pale - Koreans, Chinese, Japanese - you'll never see a Southeast Asian or an Indian. These girls LOVE their white skin and they will go to great lengths to show it. Nearly all the top ships are between white men, it's hilarious. Even the so-called 'enbies' - white women - still love them. They are perfectly fine writing trans shit, but don't make them write about dark skin or black dick. That KKK hood will come right out.

Not sure that the race science chart is 100% revealed preference, though. Maybe 80% at most imo. I think the other 20+% is people being afraid to write characters who aren't white (or white expy, which is how they think of pale-skinned anime characters and those two "MENA" Genshit faggots) because giving them any negative traits/portraying them in a remotely negative light might get them accused of racism. Random accusations of racism are only more common in a lot of the fandoms listed on the chart, because they're the ones popular with the terminally online tumblr porn ban refugee demographic.

Sure, but it's more of the fact they just don't like them even when they will never admit it. The ONLY top ships that have black men in them - and are dead, btw - is Sam Wilson/Bucky and Poe/Finn that hardly ever get updated. Voltron has a Hispanic man, JayVik has Jayce, who is a light skinned Hispanic man, and the K-pop bands all have pale Korean men. It's ironic that fanfiction of all places is where you go to find a whites-only club or pale skin supremacy.

 

[Paper Machete]

It's ironic that fanfiction of all places is where you go to find a whites-only club or pale skin supremacy.

Fanfiction is all about scratching your "id" and about shipping characters you find interesting in a romantic context (which usually means attractive). You don't get paid to do it so the only thing to keep you going is that you genuinely like writing about the characters. So it makes perfect sense that they do away with the performativity in that aspect. If you don't like a particular character writing thousands upon thousands of words about them is not something you're going to be assed to do. A lot of the people who write fic, at least in the English speaking side, are white themselves, and it's not really crazy to have in group preference when it comes to what you consider attractive. That is in fact rather normal.

 

[behindyourightnow]

It's actually really interesting because fanficcers, largely progshit autists, hate niggers and don't want anything darker than a Cuban in their fics. Even the Asians are all pale - Koreans, Chinese, Japanese - you'll never see a Southeast Asian or an Indian. These girls LOVE their white skin and they will go to great lengths to show it. Nearly all the top ships are between white men, it's hilarious. Even the so-called 'enbies' - white women - still love them. They are perfectly fine writing trans shit, but don't make them write about dark skin or black dick. That KKK hood will come right out.

It's probably part of the reason they're so neurotic about racism and white supremacy. Because they know their ships are significantly whiter than a Trump rally.

What's funny though is that the author FAQ says this:



...but then when you go to the comments under the chart, it's 95% "WOOO MY PAIRING GOT TO #19!" or "Why isn't my favorite ship higher?" At least the scolds tearing their hair out about shippers not liking black dick seem to be in the minority, even if they're incredibly loud. I think the vast majority of women using AO3 are just there for the dicksucking and don't really give a shit.

Sure, but it's more of the fact they just don't like them even when they will never admit it. The ONLY top ships that have black men in them - and are dead, btw - is Sam Wilson/Bucky and Poe/Finn that hardly ever get updated. Voltron has a Hispanic man, JayVik has Jayce, who is a light skinned Hispanic man, and the K-pop bands all have pale Korean men. It's ironic that fanfiction of all places is where you go to find a whites-only club or pale skin supremacy.

And all the Korean men are pretty-boy specimens with strong jaws. Where are all the ships with fatties or tiny squinty-eyed nerds? So much for body positivity lol

Mmm, which sex cares more about the comfort and safety of one another vs balls-to-the-wall sex while leaving in the morning and never calling back? Which sex cares more about bringing the other to completion? All this take about Guys Being Dudes and you still can't erase that female socialization.

"they both care more about the safety and comfort of it than about getting off" is literally the most female sentence ever written. Transwomen should just read that sentence again and again to make their estrogen levels rise naturally so they don't need bathtub HRT.

A lot of the people who write fic, at least in the English speaking side, are white themselves, and it's not really crazy to have in group preference when it comes to what you consider attractive. That is in fact rather normal.

It is, but do you expect these people to actually accept human nature? if they could do that they wouldn't be so crazy in the first place.

 

[Paper Machete]

It is, but do you expect these people to actually accept human nature? if they could do that they wouldn't be so crazy in the first place.

Yeah, the funny part isn't the revealed preference, everyone already knew it was there. But it's funny seeing them trip over themselves and tip toe around it because of shallow politics they don't even need to be involved in. They're the ones that set the precedent that fanfiction should offer some idea of "rep" (whatever that means for this context) and yet do not provide it themselves except for their own self-serving tranny schlick.

 

[Chandelier]

Wanted to cover this before before I see if Coming Home got its penultimate chapter. If it did, I'll post it on New Year's Eve to kick off the new year. But first, here's a trans man getting the man train run on her:

Spoiler

> Be a pooner fic
> First thing that comes up is that the men you want to fuck are all bigger, taller and stronger than you
> What could this mean .jpg

You have to appreciate how, without fail, the pooner is always clocked by how smaller they are compared to the actual males. Pottery.

Huh, I was under the impression that the half-lidded eyelash flutter was something women do to disarm men. Consider me corrected, then!

Small waist? Check. Drooling so much saliva you resemble dogs? Check. Having a spine that curves in a way that male spines don't, clocking you as female? Check. Obsessing over the muscles and form of the actual men you're touching? Check. It's absolutely your traditional meet-n-fuck story.

As for which hole is clenching...in this fic, it's all of them.


> Be a pooner
> You keep emphasizing how large and powerful the men are
> Be obsessed with their cocks
Tradwife fantasy confirmed?

In real life, if you tried to do that...the men would very likely force themselves on you, be it with drugs or more alcohol. Men don't like getting blue-balled and they tend to get very dangerous when this happens. Of course, it's the captain of the sports team - this fic is supposed to be a multitude of Jayces fucking Viktor - with the biggest Hispanic Hog. And of course his hands are so big they cover the dainty female thigh entirely. Go figure.

> Wants Viktor's mouth so badly he jerks off raw every night
> His mouth slobbers like he's a St. Bernard
Uh...sexy imagery, I guess.
> Whorish sounds
I usually hate this term, but trans Viktor is usually the quintessential campus slut (with no fear of STDs, btw) so yeah, he's a whore. He's a stupid ho, you a stupid ho.

Again, if you can use cunt, there is no need to use 'hole'. In this fic, both Viktor's anus and vagina get penetrated, so when 'hole' is used to describe the vagina, it gets confusing. All this to avoid mentioning the fact that Viktor is female. When he's 'fucking his own hole' I'm confused as to which one he's fucking.

I do enjoy the vagina being described as this hungry, insatiable beast that simultaneously can take in five cocks at will, but also get 'loose and sloppy' when fucked too much. And yep, there's the Rapunzel pubes, right on display, which means all that semen and vaginal ejaculate will congeal together like some spoiled Mexican frying oil. If this reads like a bad 2000s porno...it's because it is. The random men, the faceless men, the porn spread vagina and all the 'whorish' moaning...it comes off as very vapid and bland.

> Switching from sucking and licking to fucking and spitting
If Viktor's that soaking wet, why is there a need for spit? Seems unnecessary.

> Other hole
> Four fingers in and out of his hole
In this case, the 'hole' refers to the anus, but since trans authors hate using the word 'vagina', you are deliberately left confused as to which orifice they're fucking. 'Exposed, shiny pink holes' just reduces them to that: as orifices to be filled and fucked, nothing more.

Of course, the captain's penis is so huge it's 'filthy', with big veins and to where his fingers can't wrap around it. Rather than sound sexy...it sounds gross, comically obscene.

Predictably, this penis is so huge that, despite him gushing wet a few minutes ago, he needs time to accept him. He's 'enormous', but that's OK for our trans pussy, which can take everything and anything...and end up sounding like the least sexiest thing ever. It makes me think of barnyard animals fucking.

Even the deepthroating sounds painful and soulless. Yes, you're taking in all this dicks...and they belong to faceless men. That's what makes it so unsexy. We read smut for our favourite characters because we have attachments to them, not cheap hentai.

> Didn't know he was such a whore
Uh, he's known as the campus slut? Of course you knew.
> Fucked raw by two much bigger men sheathed inside him
Because every pooner fantasy involves real, actual men with big, meaty man cocks splitting them open and reminding them of their true sex. Really.

> Feels how loose he's become down there
And we have the classic 'the vagina comes loose if you fuck it too much' thing. It's a muscle. Train it well and it can work miracles.

> Fucked silly
It really is a bad hentai, wow.
> Presses the bulge inside him so his body can handle the huge disgusting thing
This reads more and more like parody rather than smut, because I cannot take it seriously. All this 'his holes will be stretched so bad they'll never close' shit makes me raise an eyebrow. The anus, yes, if it takes something that big it can take a while to heal - but the vagina is made for that. What it isn't made for is for horse-level buckets of cum (can't believe I wrote that) to fill it up and infect it with a plethora of STDs and infection.

'Plain gross' is right. And where is the 'double penetration in one hole'? I didn't read no DP in the vagina or anus, the others were busy with Viktor's mouth. I must've missed it with those enormous paragraphs.

> Fucked raw cunt
Nice language, so much for taking those huge dicks like a pro, and squirting everywhere like you're a fire hydrant.
> Both holes unnaturally red, expanded and loose
There's that 'loose pussy' thing again. The vagina is a muscle. And that shit sounds painful, not sexy.
> Brutally fucked just moments earlier
I rest my case.
> Cum soaked hole
Really making it seem like we're cleaning up a trash heap, rather than reading smut. It's so...detached, but also disgusting. No emotion behind it. And look at that, 'cum as lube!' I'd feel dirty too; I want to take a shower after reading this.

> Loosen up his hole
Oh they're already tight again? I thought they were 'fucked loose and red'. Looks like they snapped back like a rubber band.
> Balls deep in an abused pussy
Never mind, it seems it went back to being damaged again.
> Poor delicious cunt
I don't see how something so abused, so red, and so brutalized that it's something you see in gonzo porn, where the actress is crying and has to get surgery for, is sexy. Sometimes, less details are better.
> Stretched out hole
Which one?
> Bratty whine
You're not gonna be bratty when those STD tests come back positive, my lil dood.

Agreed, it is gross - and using language like 'abused', 'blown out' and 'destroyed' give me a vastly different impression than you would had you not used them. Most women read fictional smut because it ISN'T as brutal as IRL porn; and if it is, you can suspend your disbelief. Here, it just seems brutal and pornographic for the sake of it, more so as we don't know who these men are and can't find attraction to them and the want to 'join in' as it were. It almost reads as if a man wrote it: the orgy of men on one woman, brutalizing her and 'taming' her with their penises and semen. I don't think I've ever had such a blank face reaction to such smut. It's just...well, senseless, graphic porn. If more emphasis is placed on your brutalized orifices, that's not very sexy, that makes me want to take you to a hospital. Give these random male characters names and faces if you want to make me care - and it'd be a lot more personal.

Just guys being dudes, yo.

This one was funny. It's a 2 AM at Denny's reference. What the fuck is up, Denny's?

Naturally, the trans author must declare that she is trans and that she wrote a trans character:

Oh, here's a fucked up one. Worst one I've ever read:
...Hans...get the flammenwerfer.

 

[Thiletonomics]

Here's yet another Pokémon diaper fanfic, this time also including Human Dynamaxing:



Link / Archive

 

[Chandelier]

Coming Home was indeed completed - and it had two chapters added, not just one. Both are very long so I will be covering one at a time.

To wrap things up: when this fic first came out in October, it barely had 100 bookmarks and a little over 100 comments. Now it is the second most bookmarked fic in the Arcane fandom, coming in at nearly half a million hits in under three months. It currently has 20k kudos, and gained its immense popularity thanks to Twitter and, I presume, TikTok. Despite this, it happens to be one of the most broken fics I have ever read, and one of the most poorly researched. Turns out, you don't need to properly format your sentences and have your characters talk like normal people in order to get immense fame. BTW, this dumb bitch's name is Beth, because some idiot name dropped her on Pinterest when she wanted her Twitter account private. Nice going, Beth.

Spoiler: Chapter 13

This brief flashback happens when Viktor is ill and is during his 'I can totally take care of myself but I can't and I fucking hate you if you try to help me' phase. He's so grateful he hates the people who took him in, nice. And would you look at that, she STILL writes incomplete sentences because 'but' and 'and' and a semicolon or comma is absolutely foreign to her. 100k words on and she's still doing this shit.

You were the one who flinched and caused the box to drop. The only one to blame is yourself. And for the love of God, USE A GODDAMN COMMA TO CONNECT RELATED SENTENCES

"It made Viktor forget himself, from everything he came from, to everything he was. He could just be this." - There, I fucking fixed it. God, it should not be so hard to use conjunctions.

How hard is it to write, 'He was humiliated and confused'? It doesn't make your writing any weaker. Are you that afraid of cleaning things up? Or do you suspect you don't have to since the bulk of your audience are TikTok zoomers who don't have any media literacy?

> A complicated expression on his face
Such as?
>I'd never treat you like you were incapable
You sold him out and took his intellectual property when he was ill. Such love, such soulmates. Don't you feel bad for this uwu puppy boy?

"The door opened, and Ximena appeared with a stack of boxes. Jayce rushed up to help her, and took one off the top of the pile."

She should've hired me as her beta. I'd clean this shit up real quick.

Nah, I don't think so. You've been a whiny bitch - one would say even a bit of a woobie; that is to say, a useless man who doesn't actually stand up for himself and has to rely on others to help him. Such a strong man. Maybe he can try the strength of that rope.

Viktor did this earlier when he needed that life saving surgery that Mel paid for. He threw a tantrum against Jayce and said that it wasn't fair because 'other people needed it' - when he was literally fucking DYING and was in no position to help anyone. For fuck's sake, have some humility. You can always make the tech more accessible if you are ALIVE TO DO IT.

You are horrible, Viktor. I hate your character in this.

"Jayce comes in with a tray of good: orange juice, coffee, bacon, and an omelet."

Literally how fucking hard is it to use a colon. Apparently it's too fucking difficult because she can't use it here, but she can absolutely use it on her Twitter and socials. Why are 'Beths' always such lazy bitches?

Make that a complete sentence, please. It doesn't need to be broken up for drama points.

"Because you've been crazy!" - There, another fix. Bitch should pay me.

"An uncharacteristic amount of defeat in her voice" - It'd carry more weight if you added it to the prior sentence, you know.

"She's mad I keep 'flaking' on things, which is silly." I'm mad that this fic got wildly popular despite it being a pile of shit, but what can you do? It really is a metaphor for S2.

> You cannot possibly be held responsible for this
Yes she can, she was responsible for all the actions she's guilty of. This attempt to make her blameless is stupid. This author really expects us to take in her sob story for pity points and go, 'aww, isn't she cute and innocent? She can do no wrong!' and not ask questions. Well, I am asking them. She is guilty and she needs to be held responsible. Hell, remember how long it took Vi to find a blue-haired girl on campus? Yeah. That's how dumb this fic is.

"Jayce starts to flourish. He's a bit sharper in the lab, and has a bit more bounce in his step." - What'd I say about getting paid?

"Viktor panic-bought him for his first date" - Was it panic bought? I was under the impression he didn't know what to get Jayce and knew he liked stones, so that was why he got it. Is this a retcon of what she wrote? Sounds like it.

Now, in terms of Mel 'liquidating' her company...it doesn't work like that, and Beth admitted she did no research for any business related things. She, being the Twitter and TikTok star, doesn't have to. Even though this would mean she'd have to inform her investors and they would not want to let the company go, and this would mean the company and the banks bankrolling it would have to allow it to enter the open market. You thing a dumb Twitter bitch is going to know what a 'stock market' is? Hell no.

Interesting how it took until the very last two chapters for Mel to be treated as a person. Before that, she was the token black bitch getting in the way of the ship, nothing more. She actually manages to be interesting here.

Plot twist: Ambessa is the one currently bankrolling and controlling the police department because she wants that military tech to...it isn't even said, exactly. Does she want to militarize the police force? Use tech meant for defensive measures for offensive ones? Who the fuck knows. She's just shoved in here at the last minute and people love it because hey! I recognize that character! comes in.

Manufacturers would probably still want those butterflies because they can be used outside of the police. Jinx made these little bombers (and that's what they are) to disarm (gas powered) weapons, when they can be used for any manner of civilian things. Note how I put more effort into thinking about this than the author did.

> Now this. This is exciting.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
> One of the most vile companies on the planet
That Viktor had no idea he was working for, btw. This was saved for the end, as is expected when the author has no idea what the fuck to do with her plot.

Don't know why 'hernia' is capitalized, but that shit is serious. She'd need surgery.


You ready for some woobie soul mate talk? Here it comes.

Nah, because all that shit Jayce did to you years ago was forgiven because you read his notebook and he gave you the puppy dog eyes. But we're soulmates, uwu.

"Jayce grabs his hand and pulls it down to his lips." - Pay me, bitch.

"Their own light, that could sustain an image of itself long after its demise." - Get it? It's an allegory for Viktor!

"If I saw something so beautiful, so unclouded by pollution, and so far away...it would mean that I had made it." - Still looking for that cash, Beth.

Oh, of FUCKING COURSE she included the goddamn tone deaf comment. Good going!

And here we go, the soul mate thing! Aren't they the cutest soulmates? So sweet and cute. They were made for each other...even after Jayce royally fucked him over and destroyed his life but that's OK because true love conquers all. God, aren't you crying right now? TikTok is.

"He absentmindedly plays with the back of his hand, finds himself stroking the back of Jayce's ring finger with the pad of his thumb." - Still need that money, Beth!

> Watches it blay
Yeah, this wasn't edited.

Dissolving companies takes a lot of work, court cases, and stock market buyouts. Look at Purdue Pharma.

> Destroy weapons like butter
Then they, in turn, can be weaponized and Ambessa would absolutely want them. Jesus, this girl has no idea how the MIC works or how innovation works. But hey, so long as you make TikTok and Twitter cry, that's it.

You care about cops but not the people who will lose their jobs at Mel's company? Seems you've got a moral dilemma there.


> Not in the business of ruining lives
> Works at a company that is the civilian branch of a larger conglomerate that is dedicated to ruining lives
Now, we have the plot twist...in Chapter 13. The brake lines give out in this Tesla-not-Tesla cares, and somehow that's related to the battery...which even Viktor realizes is stupid. They made the battery, they didn't make the models of the cars themselves, meaning the company and manufacturer is at fault.

> The board contained people loyal to Ambessa
And they are just figuring this out despite knowing right at the beginning she owned the damn thing. Amazing.

Four cars, one of them including Jayce's car, but it's totally safe. Totally Viktor's fault even though he was forced to sign away his rights under duress because Jayce told him to but they're soulmates so it's OK, alright? Just shut up and read the fic and enjoy it, you idiot.

"She keeps walking, slightly ahead, and stumbles a little, as if she might be sick" - I SAID PAY ME, BITCH

So Jayce is having a meltdown because Viktor blackmailed the Chief of Police, which happened in Chapter 13 of all places, and he's mad Viktor went behind his back for doing it. I call it karma, because Jayce did just that with the battery in Chapter 2 - which Beth herself seems to have forgotten. Suck it, bitch.

"Nobody can handle getting shot!" - No shit, unless you have a 1000 +page Bible, then you have the Lord behind you. Jayce talking about 'going against one of the most corrupt and dangerous groups' here is rather silly, because he sidled up to Ambessa no problem when it came to wanting money. Odd how the author forgot that - but I sure as hell didn't.

> He suddenly feels small and very incompetent
Interesting how every choice Viktor makes is met with judgement from Jayce, as if he's always getting held to a higher standard. Hmm... Not to mention it takes away his agency because Viktor, for once, did the right thing, and he couldn't be sure of Jayce's reaction despite their uwu soul mates confession a page and a half ago. Besides, wasn't Jayce on board with dissolving the company? Shouldn't he at least be understanding of what Viktor did?

> Not because he doesn't feel it; he feels it so deeply it scares him.
Huh, I wonder why it feels like a performance: maybe because it IS? This entire thing has been a masterclass in gaslighting and performance issues, if and when you can get through the shitty sentence structure.

Despite knowing that some of the engineers hated Jayce...he still found a way to betray Viktor. And yes, brake lines are a completely different component than a battery...so why are they feeling guilty over a part they didn't build? They designed the battery, not the car itself.

> She can't! This could!
C-c-could you speak in complete sentences, retard?


Don't give a shit, because she isn't the main character and you waited until Chapter 13 to bring this up. Fuck off.

Yet they didn't make it open source beforehand because, AGAIN, Jayce FORCED VIKTOR TO SIGN AWAY HIS RIGHTS. This is the single issue that made them part and it's never brought up again. But it's OK! Jayce wanted to write Viktor a letter telling him he was sowwy and can he just forgive him for ruining his dreams and humiliating him? Have some sympathy, Viktor, this is your soul mate!

If you thought this as stupid as the 'Silco changed his mind because he read Vander's letter' plot, you'd be correct. It's literal fucking fanfiction.

Look at that. He'd abandon all morals because of Jayce's puppy dog eyes. What a fucking coward. Talk about stripping Viktor of any agency. He isn't even allowed to be angry because being angry would be a realistic human reaction and we cannot have that. We have to have the retarded soul mate plot because that's what S2 had, uwu.

> Not like he will break, but like he is a fine, sacred work of art
So like he will be broken and tarnished. Nice.

Make these into COMPLETE FUCKING SENTENCES I AM TELLING YOU

BTW, DNA Hydrogels have environmental and biophysical applications. They want their battery to have DNA hydrogels that would work with...algae or bacteria...that produce an electrical charge.

...Yeah. They are useful in detecting heavy metal ions, but how they would react to algae and bacteria that produce electricity is never explained. I think Beth here looked up some scientific terms and rolled with them despite not knowing what they do.

You're USING THE WRONG TECH, GODDAMIT, DNA HYDROGELS ARE FOR ENVIRONMENTAL PURPOSES, NOT A GODDAMN BATTERY

And oh, you are never going to guess what happens next.

That's fucking right: this bitch decided to copy that disgusting and lame-ass suicide attempt from Jinx as a means of drama, and it's just as tactless as it was in the show. Good fucking job, Beth.

You can't do it yourself? You don't have the wit or wherewithal or sympathy to talk her down? You need SOMEONE ELSE to do it?

I'd believe you if you actually had a role in the plot. As you don't, I am just sitting here wondering what the fuck this author thought she was doing with this shit.

Oh, nice speech there. It's OK though, Jinx buys it and walks away because that's how things work. Viktor couldn't even do it himself - he had someone else do it, because just like in S2, he has no fucking agency.

And that's how you handle suicide: tell a girl that 'it gets better' and have her sister run up to her and make everything OK, and then hug your boyfriend who went through it too when he could have had a proper dialogue with her but it's OK because he and Viktor are soul mates and don't you get that? They see each other in the moon!

Well, that's the first part done. The second part has her ending comments and her nice Spotify playlist that has tons of Mitski because that's the artist these people love. Don't you just love reading a random suicide attempt at the end, that's handled so carelessly because the author wanted cheap drama? Me too! Fucking love it. Love it along with the romance that's suddenly A-OK despite inherent problems because of the uwu soul mate plot.

If this doesn't sound like a shittier copy of S2...congrats, it IS.

I definitely need a break before I tackle the last chapter. I am mentally drained from this thing.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

In high school I collaborated with a friend to create a list of 100 reasons Twilight sucks (can't remember what we titled it, but it was not the list that made the rounds on Tumblr in 2012), and posted it to FF.net. Got a lot of salt (which was the intention). Two years ago I got an email alert that someone had commented on the work. Bizarre, it's over a decade old at this point. It was a comment left by a visitor, so no username. Absolutely unintelligible schizo rambling. They started commenting a lot, responding to themselves, etc. It kinda alarmed me and I deleted the fic entirely. Wish I had saved the comments.

 

[Chandelier]

Here is the second part of Coming Home, one of the most popular Arcane fics in the fandom at the moment. This has been quite an adventure, so let's see how this ends.

Spoiler: Chapter 14 - end

"They're both shaken" she writes, when the suicide attempt barely lasted a few sentences. Yes, this is how Beth treats suicide: as a plot point that moves this idiotic romance forward, and TikTokers and zoomers will eat it up beause they're suckers for this sappy shit.

It's Chapter 14 where we actually learn about Viktor's disability and how it affects him - and he doesn't deal with it himself. It's always Jayce taking care of him.

> "Where his body rebels against itself. They're rare, more so than they used to be after his last operation, and yet they're agonizing all the same." - Gimme that money, bitch.

Look at that, Viktor being a bitch because that's the only thing he knows how to do. Nice character development. But he's not allowed to be angry when Jayce stabbed him in the back.

> He feels horrible and obstinate about what happened in the lab all those years ago
Don't. This is suicide bait. This man is using the 'oh I was SO CLOSE TO KILLING MYSELF WON'T YOU PITY ME?!' type of narcissistic gaslighting. Didn't think it'd be used here, but alas, here we are.

What did I say about proper use of conjunctions? This bitch is allergic to commas and colons, but she's certainly got the glitter stick shoved up her ass with all that praise she's been getting on this. The whole mantra over Viktor feeling guilty over 'lost time' is stupid too, because it was Jayce who caused him to go back to Zaun. It was Jayce who forced him, under duress, to sign away his intellectual property rights. He never apologized for that. He was just uwu so sowwy because Viktor was mad, and Viktor isn't allowed to be mad in this. He has to feel bad for the human golden retriever here.

> He thinks about potential signs he could have missed, ways he could have helped, but there is no use dwelling." Again, you better pay be, Beth.

So now Ekko wants a petition to be signed to get police money out of the Academy. Which would be nice...but this isn't a public university. This is a private one, which means very big pocketbooks. If you didn't notice the reference to the Palestine university protests in this, congrats, it's right there in the open, because the author can't think of anything else outside of Twitter feeds.

Also, Ekko would never sell himself to Pilties or Noxians. That's not how he rolls.

Reminder he was almost roped into this because Medarda was a fellow black person and the blacks gotta stick together.

She barely had any screentime and her suicide was used for pity points. Nice job, Beth. You did just what the show did, except worse.

OMG LOOK AT JAYCE HE'S ACTING LIKE A SQUEALING SCHOOLGIRL EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EMOJI EMOJI

Yes, Jayce, you are a sap. So sappy you managed to turn a man's righteous anger around all because he read your scrapbook. Ain't that something - and convenient?

> It also seems fitting, a wedding scrapbook. Why hasn't Jayce said anything?
Ah figured there'd be a wedding plot. I bet the commenters are shitting and pissing themselves over this. I'm not surprised at all.

> Viktor's hand on his cheek, his slightly chapped lips, his bedhead - his stubble, the smile lines, the shape of his jaw..."
There, that's all it takes. Fucking hell.

Remember when Jayce had no idea that the school body was gossiping about him, and then knew it was gossiping about him, and now can't get enough about the school body gossiping about him? Yeah.

> He's radiant: laughing at something small and ridiculous that Viktor joked about, with the morning sun in his hair.
Le sigh. I'm so tired of this.

> Wants him to move in
> Still wonders what Jayce wants despite it being obvious what he wants
You're a couple. Do the math - if you're capable, that is.

> I can't identify these feelings
What, you want a Taylor Swift song to describe it for you?

> Viktor knows that now
I thought he just said he doesn't know what these feelings are?
> Jayce doesn't behave the way he does because he pities him
Yes he does. His entire arc was around him getting Viktor back despite ruining his fucking life. We're supposed to believe they're uwu soul mates and know what love is but they're still dancing around the issue IN THE LAST FUCKING CHAPTER.

You really have to love how the 'hates capitalism in this house' author ends up promoting a monogamous family with the white picket fence and some dogs. Lmao. Literal tradwife cottagecore.

> Jayce Talis deserves someone who can be brace
Fuck off. I despise this portrayal of Viktor. Oh such a victim boo hoo...where is the driven man who wouldn't let anything stop him? Oh right. He can't even stand up for himself. Only time he does is when he's dragging around the TA Greg so he can show Jayce who gives him a better fuck.

I bet the commentators lost their shit at 'I want my ashes spread with yours'. Poignant, because this deserves to be burned.

> I can't live with you if you don't have any regard for yourself
Are you fucking kidding me? This man FUCKING BETRAYED YOU. SOLD OUT YOUR DREAMS TO A WARLORD. Did we forget that? Oh yes we did. The fucking author sure did.

Uhh yeah ummm yeah uhhhh I uhhh
Oh hi, Mark.

> Nervous all the time. Can you imagine?
Don't have to, you've acted like it this entire fic.

Isn't that cute? You, too, can get rid of your hatred and betrayal with this one simple trick: a wedding scrapbook! Who cares about your happiness, care about the happiness of a man who won you over with golden retriever eyes!

I'll say. We waited until the end for her to do something even though this isn't how dissolving companies works.

There's that modern day student protests reference! That's right: students are protesting the cops funding their PRIVATE UNIVERSITY, that they DO NOT PAY TUITION FOR AND THAT IS PAID FOR BY PRIVATE DONORS. Also, they are not in charge of the teacher's unions or pay - that's for the board to decide. Can't even get right-to-strike politics right.

> I support free speech, but -
And he's right. He's not in charge of the school. But they hate on him because he is a midget ginger. A ginga.

Notice how Viktor feels 'swells of pride' at things he doesn't do? How he never speaks up? Yeah. Beth has shat on his character the entire time, and no one cares because he gets his ass stretched out in Chapter 9.

It isn't meaningful, though, because all the private donors have to do is close their pocketbooks and revoke funding. They're literally protesting at the wrong place, too: they need to be protesting at the police station.

What, you wanna fuck on the old furniture? Gotta love how the author who hates capitalism ends her fic on a nice old cottage on PRIVATE PROPERTY with NUCLEAR FAMILY dynamics. The fucking lack of self-awareness.

What, you can't make any decisions yourself, Viktor? Afraid of being shot down? Funny, that.

Oh my God okay okay Oh man Oh God Oh Man Oh God

> He peppers kisses along Viktor's cheek and nose, as if he can't contain it
Literally not that fucking hard.

Tell me again why law enforcement is funding a PRIVATE UNIVERSITY when there are other wealthier patrons funding it? Any guess? Who's funding the cops? Go after that, first.

Oh, so you don't actually OWN the home? Imagine that. A generation of leasers and renters. Poignant social commentary there.

Reminder that this same man did all this shit while Viktor was sick, took away his IP rights and drove him away for seven fucking years. But all it takes is 'emotional fondness' and a fuck ton of gaslighting.

> This is already going smoother, like pouring rain. Just the two of us!
How many times do I have to fucking do this.

> He's a huge marshmallow, and boy he loooooooves you
Is his face like a s'more?

Hope it's not the Final Destination 2 bus. And look at that, Ximena finally rings him in with that mom talk about how much her gaslighting son loves him.

I'm ummm uhhh ummmm uhhhh

> He'll be so good to you darling
Yeah, like he was the first time, am I right? She never found out what her son actually did or why Viktor moved away. She just assumed her son made an innocent mistake.

> It just makes Viktor more miserable. Why?
Because this narcissistic fuck of a man ruined your life and you are struggling to come to terms with it. But you will never say no because 'love conquers all' and you're soul mates, uwu.

Yes, please stop.

> Can't you see how much we adore you?
Betrayal and selling an invention to a warlord isn't love, abuela.

Ah, and here we go with that 'I'm broken' talk. Really nice that these authors hammer home the fact that Viktor thinks he's some kind of monster when he isn't. Really nice disability rep. You gotta feel bad for him and let Jayce be good to him because they're soulmates, uwu.

Nah, I don't think I will. The man should have been left to rot. Note he never actually faced consequences for his actions. At all. A scrapbook and drawing conveniently fixed the plot.

And are lesbians good at building shit? You tell me.

Well that is certainly a line of dialogue!

You want a last chapter smut scene? Here's that last chapter smut scene.

> He wants to show him just how much he cares, needs, and craves
There. It's that easy. Now pay me.

What a way to kill the mood by making dom Viktor such a baby. Just get on with it!

>That he knows nothing about this but them
UGH WHAT DID I SAY

> Jayce pants like he's sprinted a mile, his eyes red and bloodshot. His nostrils flare.
Gimme that money.

> He looks up at Viktor and sniffles, his eyes glassy
Gonna need that doubled.

> Viktor leans back and gives him a little show, continuing to work himself open on his fingers. He moans Jayce's name and closes his eyes for a moment.
Triple that paymen.

This sex talk is wild. They legit talk like programmed AI bots. It's hilarious.

Oh wow indeed.

> Jayce plants kisses all over Viktor's face, little reverential kisses as if he cannot contain the feelings inside him
Pay up.
> Slow, trembling thrusts with little pained noises
Again.

> What a gift it is to be loved by Jayce Talis
What a gift it is to be stabbed in the back by him - if we remember that plot. Devotion so powerful he sold him out for money and won him back by giving him the anime sad eyes.



Figured there'd be a proposal scene, because what better way to end this shitshow than your basic bitch proposal? BTW, I remember Viktor dying too - and how ungrateful he was to get treatment. How he railed against Mel and Jayce for daring to help him. Of course, his entire existence has to revolve around his romance with Jayce - he's not allowed to exist independently. Because that's romantic and they're uwu soul mates!

"How infuriating is that?" Indeed.


Except he literally did...and all because Mel was a fellow black person. Brothas gotta stick together.

> Noxus is essentially dead
Not how it works, honey. You have to deal with angry investors and bankers.

Counsel, you mean? Glad to see Mel is no longer the Token Black Bitch in this.

I hope he does. It would make this so much more interesting. Would get rid of all the pissing and shitting and crying people are doing.

That doesn't need a comma.

Remember what I said about these two being Retards in Denial? Yeah. That. Jayce became 'so much wiser' he just forgot he stole Viktor's intellectual property and humiliated him - all while he was dying.

> Jayce offers his hand. He's so earnest, eyebrows wriggling, as if daring Viktor to refuse him this time."
> Just keep this arm steady enough to support me
See? Easy as fuck.
> He is so strong there, and he feels at home in his arms.
What did I say?

Ummm uhhh we ummm uhhh oh hi, Mark.

Remember that golf cart from chapter 2? It makes a reappearance:


> He leads him to what he hopes is something he'll love and cherish - maybe even remember fondly.
Pay me.

> A little candle is in the center, as well as a lighter, a bottle of red wine and two glasses
There. Easy.

> Why? I love it?
And 5000+ other people loved this shit, too. You should see the fanart this bitch got, I'll have to post some of it in the SJW art thread.

Ah, there's that sappy line about 'bringing the stars back to Zaun'...which they never do. Zaun will continue to live in pollution and be destroyed while these two fuck in their nice little private house by the lake.

Ah yes, the soul mate thing...the same soul mate who literally backstabbed you while ill, and who you forgave all because he batted his eyes at you. Absolutely fucking pathetic.

> Still feel like a performance
It IS a performance. Fuck, I don't think I've ever been so irritated at a viral fic. It's so fucking stupid I am tempted to pull my hair out.

> He relishes in the warm feeling of his skin and the softness of Jayce's hair on his cheek. That woodsy cologne fills him with fondness.
Look, I made it so much better.

"His life would have remained so empty" - It honestly would have been better, more fulfilling, and less hypocritical than this shit.

TL;DR Viktor is made a non entity whose entire life revolves around Jayce, gets fucked over in the most humiliating way, and instead of being angry he accepts Jayce because Jayce's mom, Caitlyn, and everyone else gaslights him into forgiveness. Shitty science, no research, a perfect mirror of S2. Got to be one of the most irritating fics I've ever read, solely because of the way it was written. I can forgive a shitty plot (it's funny to poke fun at) but never before have I seen a fic that seems like the modern equivalent to Morse code.

As of this writing, the 22k likes has gone down to 20k, probably because of a bot farm. The last chapter included loads of fanart so they might be posted in the SJW thread as stated prior. Beth definitely is on a high here - but she's also known to delete critical comments. Gotta keep that shit pruned.

Let this be a lesson: no matter how popular a fic is, it is not indicative of quality unless you read it. This is considered the 'Holy Trinity' of fics, and has a massive fanbase. It is still a massive pile of shit. Always, always read shit yourself with a critical eye. I can tell you right now that Avelera, despite my political and fandom disagreements with her, is absolutely worthy of that spot with her fic, 'Distinguished Innovators'. This bitch wrote Viktor as a 'poor disabled man who hates himself' despite considering herself 'socially aware'. Call them out; it ain't cancel culture, it's accountability culture.

 

[Chandelier]

Double post (sin I know) but I really wanted to cover this one. As of today, the trans Viktor tag has over 1000 fics, a milestone from its mere 420 in early November. It is on its way to becoming one of the top fandoms for a trans character, behind My Hero Academia, which has over 300k fics. In this case, this one is trans Jayce, which has a tenth of the numbers trans Viktor has, and I included it because it has 't dick penetration' - and yes, it's as ridiculous as it sounds. No worries though - we get to read how the noble T-dick makes trans men feel inferior. Here is a link to the fic.

Nice! Couldn't be that bad...could it?

Spoiler

First screenshot and we already have pooner Jayce having a mental breakdown because he is female and he doesn't have a real dick to fill up Viktor with. He has to use a silicone dildo to do it, and has mental breakdowns over that, because the shape of that phallic object also gives him dysphoria. First part and already Nature is reminding him that YWNBAM.

Good to see that mother dearest kept all the pre transition photos of her daughter, because she is the only one who remembers the 'before' and because she has to bear that shame quietly. Of course, we also have to read about how bad dysphoria is for pooners: they can't get out of bed, they can't even look in the bathroom mirror to see their own reflection as it reminds them of their female body (or refuse to shower because of this at worst) but it's OK! Jayce gets his t-shots and ends up becoming a 'real man', right at the tender age of 13. He already got the tit chop and everything is fine; he's a big boy now, even though most women do not reach six feet in height due to our genes (that's why transwomen tend to be mega tall at 6'6 and over, while pooners remain at 5'4 and below).

I also laughed a hearty laugh at 'three inches hard' as if that is supposed to be impressive. Among gay men, that's pathetic. You have a micropenis that they can barely feel, but we're supposed to believe Viktor enjoys it immensely. I'd say he's being polite, because any actual gay man would be gossiping about the 'three inch stud' all along the circuit. That's the only thing you'll be seen for, lass.

> The yearning to become another, the reality of what he is not
Well goddamn are we on 4chan or something? We hardly ever see admissions like this from pooners, and on FANFICTION no less. Nature really is a TERF, isn't she, reaching even as far as AO3 and making pooners cry buckets because they feel inferior because they don't have a real dick - despite insisting that their roid clits are 'real dicks'.

> He was fascinated by how easily he could burst into tears
Huh, I thought testosterone was supposed to erase those pesky female emotions. And yet here Jayce is, having them every five seconds. Yes, most of this fic is about Jayce having dysphoria-related breakdowns, shocker.

> He must seem so pathetic
Most of this fic is based around your crippling insecurities despite your insistence that you are a True and Honest Man, so I'll say yes.

> I don't have it and wish I did
...Get an augmented one? You're in Runeterra. Get the mythological 'Hexstrap' I keep hearing about.
> All telltale sighs indicating a quiet acceptance of, but not quite satisfaction with, the body given to him
Well Viktor here thought he bagged a man, got a woman instead, and instead of a real dick he got a three-inch roid clit. He probably would prefer to die.

> His current struggle is acknowledging his lower half
Nature is a TERF and she is telling you you will never be a man, even in the realm of fanfiction. Cope, seethe, flop that Frankendong.

> Flushed brown skin
I thought it was bronze earlier? Not only is he trans, he's trans-race, too!

You just spend a good chunk of this fic crying and sobbing and wishing you had a cock, and now we have to read the other half of Viktor lying about how he enjoys that 'rock hard' three incher.

> It would be wiser for him to listen
What's that? The trans man is shutting up and letting SOMEONE ELSE speak? I thought everyone else had to shut up and listen to the troons, instead!

> Complete reality that he wants him in any form, in any universe
Hopefully one where he doesn't have snot in his mouth and actually has a cock. An actual, meaty man cock. I know which one I'd prefer.

> Big hands
Homie those hands aren't big. They're just swollen from the T.
> Acts like a starving man
Ah, this cliché again? Well, enjoy Viktor getting a BJ because he's the only man here.

Yes, because Jayce, the True and Honest Man, needs all these words of encouragement or else he breaks down crying if he gets reminded of what he is. Nice. Definitely a stable person who can contribute to society.

Yes, you are living when you are alive, yes.

> Willing to forsake his own pleasure to give him a final choice
You know a woman wrote this, because actual men rarely do this. Actual men would take a look at that micropenis and start laughing, before going off to watch porn or some shit. They're not going to waste time with a crying, BPD woman who thinks she's a man and can't even stay normal for more than five minutes. Some pussy just ain't worth it.


> Be a pooner
> Your only purpose is to suck a white man's cock
Eh, fitting I suppose.

> I want your cock in me
Here's where it goes from a crying fest to balls-to-the-wall insane. Yes, Viktor is going to pretend he's getting off on that three inch roid clit going inside him, despite enjoying much larger men and dildos.

> Doesn't want to spiral
> Asks if it will even work, because he'll get dysphoria if it doesn't
Yeah I'm sure the man who is used to anal sex (Viktor) is going to even remotely feel that tiny roid clit inside him. Hell, when we get to that point, the author even remarks that his FINGERS are larger. Wew, lad.

Gross. Please stop with the spitting; it isn't sexy. And why do you need lube for something so tiny?

> His second knuckle goes in deeper than his roid clit
> He acknowledges it, and Viktor lies about how much he loves it
There's a reason why people turn to sex toys. Why bother with three inches when you can get the shit that hits you were it counts?

> His three inch roid clit brushes against Viktor's taint
> Smirks about a shallow thrust
> Viktor wants more, Jayce is incapable of giving more
> In reality he wouldn't even be able to breach the first ring
*puts on clown wig*

> Cock throbs from pleasure
You are barely inside, the fuck can you even feel anything?
> Blow his load before he even gets the chance to fuck Viktor properly
1. You can't 'blow your load', you don't have actual balls that produce semen or a real penis, and 2. You physically cannot 'fuck Viktor properly' BECAUSE YOU HAVE A THREE INCH ROID CLIT.

> Knows it's more difficult to enter him with a shorter length
Homie, you're in microdick territory. The funniest thing is, he slips out of Viktor's gaping anus multiple times. Ain't no way Viktor is going to feel something that small.

> Wonders if he just killed him
Maybe with cringe, just not your cock.

I also love how he has McLovin's line from Superbad, except this time he's so fucking tiny he isn't even aware of whether he's penetrating Viktor or not. Then he keeps slipping out because it's so goddamn tiny. Getting all three inches in is a sure struggle.

> Keeps slipping out every two pumps
> Viktor laughs but you know he's frustrated he has to live with this
> Jayce thinks it's the best thing ever, because it's his 'real dick', even when it's so small it keeps slipping out
> It's OK because he no longer feels dysphoria because it isn't the George Floyd dildo he's using
The jokes write themselves.

> Feels fucking amazing
> It's three inches
> Viktor tells him it's good
> They have to do lap sex in order for it to fit
> Jayce says Viktor is 'so tight' around him when he was gaping before
Ho hum.

But wait! There's more! Here comes the cope!

> Taking my cock like you were made for me
> It's a three inch roid clit
> Literally have to pretend it's a belly bulge
> Viktor has to play along in order to make Jayce happy
> Viktor later begs Jayce to 'come in him' even when he cannot produce sperm
Again, the jokes write themselves. Imagine having to lie to yourself and your dysphoric partner pretending to be a man that you have a belly bulge from a three inch roid clit when you could be having actual dick. Wew, lad.

> Begging to be taken
...how? There's nothing to take! There are school erasers that are bigger! Men shove jars up their ass for fun!
> Rubs his cock against him and has to find his entrance again
> Says he's gonna fuck him so good
> Keeps slipping out because he's so small
Lol. Lmao.

And how are you slamming with such a tiny thing? It'd have as much force as a foam finger hitting you against the chest. You might think it's something, but it doesn't do anything.

Viktor has to lie to himself about a belly bulge and how much he enjoys it, so he has to lie here when he knows even a piece of silicone is bigger. Poor man. All this to make his pooner 'boyfriend' not having a mental breakdown over not having a real dick.

Yeah, no. There's not going to be an 'obscene squelch', no more than you'll get one taking an eraser out of the hole of a glue bottle. It's not big enough, it's not thick enough, it's not meaty enough. It's a facsimile of a real dick - but you need to believe it or else the pooner will start crying.

> Riveting to experience Viktor's warmth directly
Bitch, you couldn't even breach his prostate. Give it a rest.
> Viktor acted like he could come inside him
The fact he HAD TO ACT, vs actually enjoying it, says everything. How absolutely pathetic - and he has to do it or else Jayce will start crying because Nature is a TERF and he has to tell himself he's always wanted a micropenis up his ass. Said no gay man ever. There's a reason why they'll shove fucking vegetables and garden tools up there.

Yeah, I'm sure he had a wonderful time - once he's done deluding himself he enjoyed getting 'fucked' by something smaller than your average sex toy. What a joy.

Look at that, Jayce is ready to cry again. First it was about how he didn't have a real dick, now it's about Viktor enjoying - coughpretendingcough- his roid clit acting as a dick. Pathetic, pathetic people.

If he's the world, then it deserves to be burned to the ground, because there's nothing growing it it and it's fucking dead. Nuke it from orbit, exterminatus style. Let it be a festering rock. If you have to pretend to be happy for your partner's insecurities, that isn't love. Having a 'dick' that tiny is something every man dreads, and what every woman and gay man laughs and gossips about. That's why sex toys exist for a reason. And if you have to do all this shit to make your pooner 'boyfriend' be happy...better to dump that sad sack of shit and get a real man. Less drama, and some actual dick. Try it sometime.

You'll never guess what this was based on:

And it was based on this fanart, where the artist took some 'artistic liberties' in regards to how big the T dick is:

Spoiler

Hint: they're 1-2 inches in real life, and never that thick.

On a lighter note, have a fat Viktor fic, GTA SA style:

And a piss fetish fic:

 

[Aunt Carol]

And it was based on this fanart, where the artist took some 'artistic liberties' in regards to how big the T dick is:

Spoiler

Hint: they're 1-2 inches in real life, and never that thick.

Brown dude's penis looks like a geoduck, much more so than penises normally do.

 

[Petrusha the White]

Y'know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever read a fic that featured a bonafide microdick. I've read fics including erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, and I've also read fics where an alien species naturally has a dick smaller than humans (though not into microdick territory if you put that dong on a human), hell I've even read fic where a central conflict in a relationship is one character's penis being too large for the other character. I'm pretty sure I've also seen at least one fic where it's a plot point(?) that a character lost his penis in the war. But microdick? Genuinely never came across it.
I'm sure it's out there, of course, I just mean in terms of fic I've actually come across organically.

 

[soft breathing]

Y'know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever read a fic that featured a bonafide microdick.

Enjoy.

 

[Chandelier]

Here's a fic where Trans Viktor shoves an energy drink up his vagina. It's as wild as you can expect. Author is also a law student so expect a German Chase Strangio to pop up, eroding female spaces and rights further.

Spoiler

Plot twist: there are indeed cameras, and this pooner never bothered to check if there were by...you know...looking up. Hell where I'm at, they're everywhere and I don't come from a 'high crime' area - but there are homeless people known to go on drug binges, but whatever. Viktor is going to shove an energy drink up his vagina because that's what normal women do. I mean, there have been news reports of women doing that with wine bottles, but eh, later.

> Holes that were used to having cylindrical objects shoved inside them
I'd be careful as that can is made of metal and the last thing you want is an embolism going through your vaginal walls. Second, why not pirate your textbooks? It's the modern world; have you not heard of piracy?
> He was already getting wet
..From shoving can up his vag? Wow.
> Cunt soaking through his panties
Maybe you should head to the aisle where sponges are sold.
> Here he was walking through a supermarket with half an hour of intense foreplay
...really, nigga? You're that degenerate? Well, thinking on it, the author IS German and they have a piss fetish, so...

And look at that. The True and Honest Man, the dainty pooner, really just wants a hot, sexy, dominant man with good hair to fuck them where it matters most. This isn't your basic heterosexual smut fic at all!

> Both of them being transmasc
And the pooner-in-crime never spoke about cameras or just to use the self-checkout. Leave it to the 'true and honest men' to use their pussies and not their assholes. They can't even approach the 1 Guy 1 Jar level, for shame.
> Even wetter than he originally thought
Foreshadowing. Just wait until you find out how big Jayce is. Also, he's dripping slick everywhere, it's getting on his fingers, and he touches money and other objects with it. Gross.

> He imagined it belonged to a handsome stranger, with a few tattoos, who would call him a good boy and open up his cunt
What did I say about pooner fantasies being basic female fantasies about getting dicked down by a handsome man with a big cock? The jokes write themselves.

> First boyfriend is 10 inches, makes Viktor piss himself in fear
> Instead of using foreplay and making him relax, just tells him to 'bear down'
> Viktor keeps gushing out piss and ejaculate, but it's OK he makes it through
And there's that belly bulge. You'll see that pop up again later. Also, can we stop with the 'throbbing meat' description when talking about a penis? It makes me think of a limp piece of German sausage.

> Cunt struggling to comprehend the size
It can't comprehend anything, it's a muscle. Your brain is the thing struggling to comprehend, and besides, weren't you just leaking oodles and noodles of ejaculate earlier? To the point it's going on the floor?

> Slightly grazed his cervix
Better hope it's not the tab because that shit is aluminum and you do NOT want that in your bloodstream.
> How much slick he was producing, it would be futile to claim he wasn't enjoying it
Someone call a mop for aisle 7.

He later says he 'needs a man who treats him right' so that 'his pussy can calm down a bit.' I don't think I've ever read a more female-brained statement, or a more stereotypical one. They're trying so hard to be men, they end up writing like coom-brained women. In a fucking supermarket, no less!

Of course, his pussy goes wild for Jayce, news at 11. And he's the hot security guard so added points there.

They installed cameras, and he never thought to look. Smart lil pooner. Now he has to the do 'Oh officer, I have something else I can give you' schtick and, surprise surprise, it works!

If you weren't in the mood for gossip...why'd you go to a local store and shove a can of Monster up your vagina?

> Was it wrong for him to feel sexual attraction towards a security guard?
That's just your pussy talking. I'd say no, but this is just so stereotypically female brained I have to laugh. It's so predictable you'd find it at your local Walmart.
> Third place being the possession of a fat dick
Shocker, Jayce has this and more.
> This wasn't a smutty fanfiction, this was serious
Haha, get it? Breaking the fourth wall!
> His hand nearly spanned the lower half of Viktor's back, the smaller man clearly overpowered
Yeah, just in case you didn't grasp that this was a pooner: he's so small Jayce's hands dwarf his body, when canonically their hands are roughly around the same size. Small body with a pretty vagina taking a big dick, name another cliché.

> Wanted to live out his power fantasies
Well, here you are: and how True and Honest Manly they are.

I also had to laugh at this, as well: despite calling himself a trans man, this manly man wears white lace panties with a fucking bow, when most women struggling for money or wanting to be comfortable wear cotton. This trans man is the most feminine thing imaginable and we are supposed to view 'him' as a True and Honest Man. Lol. Lmao. And of course his labia is so big and pink he has the perfect cameltoe.

> Two people with excellent sexual compatibility
I mean, you have a woman with a 'perfect vagina' who just had a Monster can up there and a hot, sexy man who's a security guard. It's your basic smut fic that you'd find the women who loved 50 Shades of Grey reading.

> You're the type of man I'd invite into my bed
> It's the natural instinct of my pussy to tighten around whatever is shoved inside of me when I see a man who would dick me down
> It's not my pussy's fault
> It's probably quite confused by the whole situation
These are all real sentences and yes, this is a trans man writing this. If this sounds very TERFy, you'd be right. 'Natural instinct' for a vagina to be filled with a dick? We sure we're not listening to the Whatever podcast?

> You have the prettiest pussy I've ever seen
Too bad he's got the Rapunzel pubes, because there's never a trans Viktor fic without it.

> Pussy was wetter than a waterfall
...Good to hear.
> Mostly felt like the first few seconds of a big dick inside him
> Pushing it out makes him gush like a cheap whore
> Special prince spot?
> Stupid pussy sucking the can deeper inside of it again, dumb little thing, felt like it was getting fucked

And then Jayce asks if he's a pervert getting off to this and Viktor doesn't like the degrading words...despite using said degrading words on himself just a few sentences ago. My man, you shoved a can of Monster energy up your hoo ha and are now squirting like crazy. What do you think this is?

> Sounds like a bitch in heat
> Pressing against his stomach where his G-spot was
Uh...the G spot is way lower...like down near the pubic bone low.

> Gushes of slick running out of him like he was being paid to produce it
> Thinks he's going to piss himself
> Later squirts like a 'broken tap', getting it all over the table and himself
> Asks if he's a slut for doing it in a security guy's office
Yes...yes he is.
> Everyone with a pussy couldn't stop talking about how fucking good it is
Good luck with that, because most women don't even know they can squirt. Some produce only a little amount, others a lot. This implies their partner or sex toy is good enough to even produce that reaction.
> Best his pussy had ever felt, and he hadn't gotten fucked yet
Monster energy sure is something else, eh?

> Jayce asks what kind of pussy Viktor has because it's that impressive, states he'd never leave him if his 'boyfriend' had a pussy like that
> Conveniently mentions that Viktor is on the pill because trans men need to be reminded that T isn't birth control
Annnnnnnd there's the Hispanic Hog. 12 inches strong, ready to fuck like a horse. "That was not a dick that's a fucking cock."

> Bigger than the man who trained you into the slut that you are?
So much for the degrading language. I guess packing a 12 incher really works wonders.
> If a ten inch dick could turn him into the slutty fag he already was
No, you aren't a 'fag'. You're a woman, and the men fucking you know it. If you think you're a 'slut', it means you're easy, and they know it.
> Wants to go on TikTok in short booty shorts to show off his pussy
> Also wants to grind on his boyfriend's lap and dry hump him in public
> Wants to be validated for this
Right.
> Custom made fleshlight for the heavens
Pooners always lower themselves to this in ways normal female authors don't. I don't think I've ever read even Reader insert fics consider themselves 'human fleshlights'. It's degrading language, and pooners think that if they do it to themselves, it will take away the power and hurt than when men do it to them.
> Pressing against his cervix
Well it is 12 inches so that's a given.

> I don't think I'll ever be fucked by anything smaller than 12 inches
Unless you want to move on to Goatse and choose volleyballs, that is.
> Your cock is fucking ruining me, you are destroying my cunt, you are breaking it
Yes, these are real voice lines. Who knew that this was what pooners wanted all along?
> I'll let you fuck me in the ass if you marry me
You're gonna need reconstructive surgery before long.
> Cunt squirting like a stupid waterfall for the second time that evening
I'm getting 'my Inner Goddess' vibes here, though it should be 'my stupid pussy'. It's doing it's job. Give it a break.

> Two young men
> One of them wears lace panties with a feminine bow and thinks they're a 'fag'
> Got caught shoving a can of Monster energy up their vagina in a place they didn't think were cameras
> After getting fucked by a 12 inch cock, ends up blushing like a shy-eyed virgin
Oh yeah, feminine brained to the max. Really fits the bill of pooners wanted to be 'fucked and bred' by hot guys that will give them the time of day because they aren't NLOGs like us with our 'vanilla' fantasies.

Would it shock you to learn this was written by a German? Anna Slatz really was onto something with them having piss fetishes and whatnot.

Brown dude's penis looks like a geoduck, much more so than penises normally do.
View attachment 6814902

The irony is that the geoducks are still thicker and longer than whatever anatomy their trans selves have. Imagine being outdone by something that literally looks like a human dick that people eat at mukbangs. TERF Nature strikes again.

Y'know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever read a fic that featured a bonafide microdick. I've read fics including erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, and I've also read fics where an alien species naturally has a dick smaller than humans (though not into microdick territory if you put that dong on a human), hell I've even read fic where a central conflict in a relationship is one character's penis being too large for the other character. I'm pretty sure I've also seen at least one fic where it's a plot point(?) that a character lost his penis in the war. But microdick? Genuinely never came across it.
I'm sure it's out there, of course, I just mean in terms of fic I've actually come across organically.

You'll mostly find them in the trans male section, which has seen growth recently as more and more nerdy girls poon out. It's at 90k fics across the whole website ATM, and Arcane is becoming one of the top fandoms for it. I've only seen a few with the Frankendongs but fewer still with 't dick penetration'. Having seen what they look like in the SRS horrors thread, I am under no disillusion on how big they are. They, at best, get 3 inches, but normally they are 1-2. Prime mocking material, and they can't help but compare to the actual males fucking them.

 

[Aunt Carol]

But microdick? Genuinely never came across it.
I'm sure it's out there, of course, I just mean in terms of fic I've actually come across organically.

In my experience you'll be going back through a fandom tag and bam, four or five stories about <insert obscure fetish> in the course of a week, and one of them lets slip it got prompted on the <fandom> kinkmeme. I know there have been a couple micropenis prompts in the Sherlock fandom.

Sometimes there are aftershocks of other people running with that, sometimes it's just a blip in time.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

I know there have been a couple micropenis prompts in the Sherlock fandom.

A sentence I never thought I would read.

I've been tempted to return to fanfic (fix-it's for endings/sequels I didn't like, drabbles, etc.) since I found the practice of spending 30 - 45 minutes on fanfic writing gets the creative juices flowing to then turn your attention to other writing. Struggled to stick to it, however. But this thread is making me kinda cringe at the thought.

I do feel obligated to contribute to the thread soon. I notice that Detroit: Become Human fandom has not made it to this thread and it seems like a good place to mine for material. Very rabidly dedicated fandom, which usually yields absolutely abhorrent fanfic. I also specifically remember coming across a fic about Chris Pratt in the newer JP flicks fucking his pet raptor. Wonder if I could find it.

 

[Paper Machete]

I notice that Detroit: Become Human fandom has not made it to this thread and it seems like a good place to mine for material. Very rabidly dedicated fandom, which usually yields absolutely abhorrent fanfic.

It's really surprising that there is such a dedicated fandom for it considering it turned out to be a game without much staying power in the gaming world. It was a blip and most people I heard talk about it thought it was underwhelming and came across too try hard having something #deep to say (which is almost always the case whenever anyone sets out to make something commentary).

Then again there is a grumpy old man character and robot prostitutes in the setting so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised it's got fic writers happy.

 

[Petrusha the White]

[the energy drink fic]

Jeez, that fic is so overtly coombrained that if it weren't a pooner fic I probably would have actually taken it for being written by a male. Female authors don't usually focus on the things that this fic focused on, it literally read like some generic PornHub video, which is way more common for men to do. So, uh, good job to the author for kinda passing?

Then again there is a grumpy old man character and robot prostitutes in the setting so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised it's got fic writers happy.

DBH got popular on tumblr when it first came out because everybody shipped the grumpy old man with the robot twink he got assigned to work with. If I remember correctly, this storyline was the only remotely compelling one in the game (I've never played it but I watched a let's play way back when), though of course I'm sure the primary appeal was simply the yaoi of it. I honestly didn't know that the fans stuck around, I figured it was just a flash-in-the-pan.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

It's really surprising that there is such a dedicated fandom for it considering it turned out to be a game without much staying power in the gaming world. It was a blip and most people I heard talk about it thought it was underwhelming and came across too try hard having something #deep to say (which is almost always the case whenever anyone sets out to make something commentary).

It wasn't as deep as it thought it was but the graphics, soundtrack, performances, flowchart complexity, actor casting, and mo-cap is better than any other Choices Matter genre game out there. On Steam it still sits at Overwhelmingly Positive. The problem with games like these is that you can watch someone play them and get almost the full experience.

I really enjoyed it but feel absolutely 0 compulsion to ever play it again.

Then again there is a grumpy old man character and robot prostitutes in the setting so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised it's got fic writers happy.

The twink robot detective is 100% what drew all the fic writers. Gifted twink + grumpy older man is a classic fic pairing.

Total fics:



Narrow it down to Connor (the twink):



The most common pairings:



That's Hank and Connor in a sexual relationship, Connor's clone/replacement and the android-hating antagonist cop in a sexual relationship, and what I assume is Hank and Connor in a father/son relationship (which is canonical). That second category initially surprised me but I do remember seeing people ship Gavin and Connor's replacement (who is either an antagonist at the end of the game or the android that CyberLife retires Connor for, depending on how you play).

The top tags are more benign than expected:



Top fic when sorted by kudos:



I don't have the wherewithal to dig for good cringy content today but I will take a look in the future.

DBH got popular on tumblr when it first came out because everybody shipped the grumpy old man with the robot twink he got assigned to work with. If I remember correctly, this storyline was the only remotely compelling one in the game (I've never played it but I watched a let's play way back when), though of course I'm sure the primary appeal was simply the yaoi of it.

I think I saw some interview where the twink's actor said that he and Clancy Brown were able to have a good rapport with the writers and had some scenes tweaked or rewritten. It shows. I would genuinely be glad to see a game/show focusing on Hank and Connor solving crimes.

As the fic categorization up there shows, the Connor storyline was the one carrying the game. I didn't care about Marcus (robot Jesus) much, although he has some cool scenes (escaping the android dump). Kara has some touching scenes and some genuinely tense moments (going on the run from her abusive owner and taking the child with her, escaping Connor across the freeway, trying to get across the Canadian border, the android concentration camps, etc.), but her storyline intercepts so rarely with Connor or Marcus that she feels detached from the game. The android reseller with the house of horrors also was really out of place and the twist with the kid actually being a robot was so stupid.