Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[draggs]

Phoenix as a name isn't the worst per se but when you give them the middle name "Wolf" you're begging for furry jokes

Maybe Bam really likes Law & Order but Penus Wolf was a step too far, so go for the not-really-a-pun, but close enough for booze and drug ruined dad, with Phoenix Wolf

 

[Looney Troons]

Let’s get back to laughing at Bam, shall we?

Bam has been hanging out with his “friend” (a guy who was shoehorned into a few episodes of Viva La Bam), Damon Dash. Damon, like Bam, found massive success in the late 90s and early 2000s being credited as one of the co-founder of Roc-a-Fella Records. He also helped kick off the Rocawear brand (goyslop brand like Abercrombie and Fitch except for black people).

You probably don’t know much about Damon, but you have most certainly heard about his business partner, Jay-Z. Defunct now, but their record label was responsible for getting the careers of rappers like Cam’ron and Kanye West boosted into the mainstream.

So, what happened? Dame returned to his roots and ended up having multiple kids out of wedlock and started to beat the shit out of his various baby mommas, as one does. Rocawear is no longer relevant, and the record label has been defunct since 2011. Jay-Z and other business partners have long shed their skin of Dame and want nothing to do with him. He’s a bad person to be associated with. He openly beats women and owes millions in child support. Had he any “talent”, he’d be a rapper himself.

Dame decided it would be a great idea to release an NFT, in 2021, displaying the album cover of Reasonable Doubt, which is a record Jay-Z released under the Roc-A-Fella Records name. Obviously this didn’t go so well and he was issued a cease and desist.

I suppose Bam and his “friend” Dame have a lot in common. If they weren’t actually friends before, they can certainly bond on the fact that they forcefully severed all ties, multiple times, with former business partners that helped them rake in their shekels. They’re both deadbeat parents trying to bank on the success of their past long ago. Bam sells merchandise with the gay Heartogram shit on it, Dame tries to sell overpriced garbage bags to black people.

I’ve always been amused by how these Z-listers try to merge together for a brief pop in popularity. There was a period of time where I remember seeing Macaulay Culkin show up in Angry Video Game Nerd videos, and the entire reason behind it was because AVGN reviewed some of the Home Alone games ages ago, and they were both broke.

 

[break these cuffs]

Dame decided it would be a great idea to release an NFT, in 2021, displaying the album cover of Reasonable Doubt, which is a record Jay-Z released under the Roc-A-Fella Records name. Obviously this didn’t go so well and he was issued a cease and desist.

"I rock hoes, y'all rock fellas" Ether by Nas is getting more and more relevant everyday. Who would have thought that Dame, will all of his fuckups, might end up in a better spot than Jay-Z?

 

[Stold]

Did anything ever come out of his court appearances for assaulting his brother or child support or whatever else?

Damon Dash.. mentioniong Rocawear reminded me of the only thing I know him from: The Chappelle's Show skit for Rocapads.

 

[Looney Troons]

"I rock hoes, y'all rock fellas" Ether by Nas is getting more and more relevant everyday. Who would have thought that Dame, will all of his fuckups, might end up in a better spot than Jay-Z?

That’s what the most amusing part of all of this to me is. Dame is going to pull ahead because he fucked up less worse than his contemporaries, that’s it. At least for now.

Can’t really say the same for Bam though. Most of his pals who were part of that Jackass shitshow have grown up and bettered themselves, or died. He’s just a scab, dude.

 

[dick brain]

Bam has been hanging out with his “friend” (a guy who was shoehorned into a few episodes of Viva La Bam), Damon Dash.

Was he even in Viva La Bam? I thought they were just in that celebrity rehab/therapy show together.

 

[Looney Troons]

Was he even in Viva La Bam? I thought they were just in that celebrity rehab/therapy show together.

You’re probably right and I’m getting all of these gay shows mixed up. Thanks for correcting me.

 

[The Hardest R]

Damon Dash was dating Aaliyah* when she was killed. Like the Bamster and Ryan Dunn, Dash tried to use Aaliyah’s death to excuse his nigger behavior for years after it happened, well beyond what would be considered an acceptable period to grieve.

* - For those who don’t know, Aaliyah was a middling R&B singer best known for marrying R. Kelly when she was 15. The marriage was later annulled. Her debut album was titled Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number. Like most who died too young (she got killed in a plane crash), her skills as a singer were overrated. Maybe she had potential but she was already being eclipsed by many others at the time.

 

[Figantic Gaggot]

yeah i dont remember damon dash ever appearing in a single viva la bam episode.

 

[Rogowski]

Bam has other sketchy celebrity connections, Lindsey Lohan's dad for one explored his daughter to the point she was doing high end escort work in the Middle East at one point.

This is worth noting because some Hollywood know-alls claim that after Bamuel lost his MTV gig he was also selling his cock to rich faggots and millionaire widows.

 

[The Hardest R]

Bam has other sketchy celebrity connections, Lindsey Lohan's dad for one explored his daughter to the point she was doing high end escort work in the Middle East at one point.

This is worth noting because some Hollywood know-alls claim that after Bamuel lost his MTV gig he was also selling his cock to rich faggots and millionaire widows.

I assume that every young (and likely otherwise) celebrity, especially one as talentless as Bam, has had to suck some producer’s dick from time to time.

 

[HansKlokBier]

 

[Figantic Gaggot]

Bam has other sketchy celebrity connections, Lindsey Lohan's dad for one explored his daughter to the point she was doing high end escort work in the Middle East at one point.

This is worth noting because some Hollywood know-alls claim that after Bamuel lost his MTV gig he was also selling his cock to rich faggots and millionaire widows.

source?

 

[JustStopDude]

There was a period of time where I remember seeing Macaulay Culkin show up in Angry Video Game Nerd videos, and the entire reason behind it was because AVGN reviewed some of the Home Alone games ages ago, and they were both broke.

In Culkin's defense, his parents stole pretty much all his and his brothers' money. He had to sue them to get control of his own finances when almost nothing was left, along with secure custody of his siblings.

Also, keep in mind, most child actors have zero formal education, having grown up on sets. All things considered, he has turned out as one of the better adults that grew up in that exploitative, meat grinder.

I assume that every young (and likely otherwise) celebrity, especially one as talentless as Bam, has had to suck some producer’s dick from time to time.

Exactly. I am certain that Clint Eastwood blew a guy to get the spaghetti western roles.

Hell, Ronald Reagan probably did anal to wear a retarded cowboy outfit and play second fiddle to a drugged monkey.

 

[I Hate The Disabled]

There was a period of time where I remember seeing Macaulay Culkin show up in Angry Video Game Nerd videos, and the entire reason behind it was because AVGN reviewed some of the Home Alone games ages ago, and they were both broke.

Culkin is a pretty cool dude, don't go hating on him. He's married to a cute Asian chick, has a kid, and tours with Adam Green from time to time.

 

[Wesker]

All things considered, he has turned out as one of the better adults that grew up in that exploitative, meat grinder.

I don't know enough about Culkin if he was ever molested in Hollywood. But DiCaprio definitely got that treatment by the director on growing pains. The clips of him on set hanging all over him is fucking disturbing. He's owned now. Which is why he's just a empty headed mouthpiece for climate change and cannot make a connection with a woman and form a family. His dad bailed on him and his mother threw him to the wolves.

 

[Kulee Baba]

Bam is an interesting case of brain damage.

Bam can't say this simple ad so it has several jumpcuts.

But yet here he is SKATING and he cuts this promo quite well. Or maybe he just wasn't drunk there. Whatever it is congrats Bam for being able to just sail in mediocrity I thought this guy's days were numbered.

 

[gorgoroth7134]

congrats Bam for being able to just sail in mediocrity

Yeah they're pushing him hard on the tiktok algorithm, just caught this this morning.

 

[Chongqing]

Yeah they're pushing him hard on the tiktok algorithm, just caught this this morning.
View attachment 6831001

Imagine being almost 50 years old but still being too cool to wear a helmet.

 

[Figantic Gaggot]

Imagine being almost 50 years old but still being too cool to wear a helmet.

thats literally every street skater regardless of age tho