Syikeblade
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019

I’m a trans woman and feel like a lot of cis men will never really accept me as or see me as a woman.
On my dating apps, out of fairness to the guys and also to protect my own safety I am extremely open about the fact that I am trans. I go fully into detail about my HRT, where I am with “the surgery”, and what my future plans are.
I can be kind of tomboyish but I also want the same things a lot of cisgender women want. A husband, a family, kids. Actually, it’s been a great source of dysphoria and depression for me that I’m unable to become pregnant.
I have worked on my voice, walk, mannerisms etc. I dress completely feminine a lot of the time. And while I don’t pass 100%ly sometimes, I feel like the effort is clearly there, and people still “sir” me, and it feels intentional because it’s emphasized (as in they bolded that specific word to a different tone and volume than the rest of their speech)
I feel like the world isn’t really set up to give straight trans women an easy go of it. It’s made harder by the fact that when realizing I’m a tomboy, some guys will ask me “why did you become a girl if you still want to do guy things”. I have a hard time explaining to them that if cis girls can be Tomboys why can’t trans girls? For example I absolutely love hockey and football. (Watching moreso than playing)
I like cars and working on them, I have worked as an aviation mechanic in the past, but I’m now in healthcare and pursuing a career in nursing, a more female dominated industry. (Not to satisfy any stereotype or to fit in or be one of, it’s genuinely what I want to do and I have a passion for it).
I’m as “normal” as someone can be. I go to work, I love my puppy, I like a lot of the same shows movies and music a lot of other people like, I just also happen to be trans.
Most of it isn’t overt, it feels more like people just don’t want to hurt my feelings, and so they tiptoe around me, or alter their manner of conversation with me versus with others.
I just feel kind of lost right now, because I definitely want a family and more of I guess a traditional marriage (by that I mean the white picket fence trope, not the woman just staying home all the time and not actually having any of her own views). But it feels empty because I feel like a lot of cis guys who would want that, they want a natural born woman. Not someone who in their eyes “turned into one but still used to be a man”.
Most guys who want kids want to be natural fathers, they want a woman they can get pregnant and have their own biological kids together, and I wish I could give them that too. It just isn’t in the cards for me. Even though I do hope to adopt once my career stabilizes and I’m on a good solid financial footing (assuming Texas doesn’t ban people like me from being able to adopt like they’re already trying to do) I think a lot of men, from my conversations I’ve had with them they see that as a last resort and “settling” almost.
Men want their own kids that are actually theirs, and I feel that. Because the fact I’m unable to become pregnant as been a great source of dysphoria and pregnancy for me. Even before my egg cracked I used to fantasize about being pregnant and being a mom but I didn’t really understand why at the time. If I only knew right lol?
At this point I’m just focusing on loving my puppy and advancing my career and praying that one day I will meet a good guy who’s the right guy for me and is good to me (yes I’m also a Christian). But I know the competition is heavily stacked against me and I just quite frankly to be blunt about it don’t measure up to cis women, and never can. It’s just got me down today, I guess.
Since I forgot to say it at the start, I’m 34. In 2 years into both HRT and social transition. I’m having my first laser session for LHR on my face yesterday, and I’m currently really working on voice training. So I’m moving right along. Just can’t shake the feeling I’m gonna end up being alone forever.
On my dating apps, out of fairness to the guys and also to protect my own safety I am extremely open about the fact that I am trans. I go fully into detail about my HRT, where I am with “the surgery”, and what my future plans are.
I can be kind of tomboyish but I also want the same things a lot of cisgender women want. A husband, a family, kids. Actually, it’s been a great source of dysphoria and depression for me that I’m unable to become pregnant.
I have worked on my voice, walk, mannerisms etc. I dress completely feminine a lot of the time. And while I don’t pass 100%ly sometimes, I feel like the effort is clearly there, and people still “sir” me, and it feels intentional because it’s emphasized (as in they bolded that specific word to a different tone and volume than the rest of their speech)
I feel like the world isn’t really set up to give straight trans women an easy go of it. It’s made harder by the fact that when realizing I’m a tomboy, some guys will ask me “why did you become a girl if you still want to do guy things”. I have a hard time explaining to them that if cis girls can be Tomboys why can’t trans girls? For example I absolutely love hockey and football. (Watching moreso than playing)
I like cars and working on them, I have worked as an aviation mechanic in the past, but I’m now in healthcare and pursuing a career in nursing, a more female dominated industry. (Not to satisfy any stereotype or to fit in or be one of, it’s genuinely what I want to do and I have a passion for it).
I’m as “normal” as someone can be. I go to work, I love my puppy, I like a lot of the same shows movies and music a lot of other people like, I just also happen to be trans.
Most of it isn’t overt, it feels more like people just don’t want to hurt my feelings, and so they tiptoe around me, or alter their manner of conversation with me versus with others.
I just feel kind of lost right now, because I definitely want a family and more of I guess a traditional marriage (by that I mean the white picket fence trope, not the woman just staying home all the time and not actually having any of her own views). But it feels empty because I feel like a lot of cis guys who would want that, they want a natural born woman. Not someone who in their eyes “turned into one but still used to be a man”.
Most guys who want kids want to be natural fathers, they want a woman they can get pregnant and have their own biological kids together, and I wish I could give them that too. It just isn’t in the cards for me. Even though I do hope to adopt once my career stabilizes and I’m on a good solid financial footing (assuming Texas doesn’t ban people like me from being able to adopt like they’re already trying to do) I think a lot of men, from my conversations I’ve had with them they see that as a last resort and “settling” almost.
Men want their own kids that are actually theirs, and I feel that. Because the fact I’m unable to become pregnant as been a great source of dysphoria and pregnancy for me. Even before my egg cracked I used to fantasize about being pregnant and being a mom but I didn’t really understand why at the time. If I only knew right lol?
At this point I’m just focusing on loving my puppy and advancing my career and praying that one day I will meet a good guy who’s the right guy for me and is good to me (yes I’m also a Christian). But I know the competition is heavily stacked against me and I just quite frankly to be blunt about it don’t measure up to cis women, and never can. It’s just got me down today, I guess.
Since I forgot to say it at the start, I’m 34. In 2 years into both HRT and social transition. I’m having my first laser session for LHR on my face yesterday, and I’m currently really working on voice training. So I’m moving right along. Just can’t shake the feeling I’m gonna end up being alone forever.
This guy is sad that he can't get pregnant and clearly the only reason why men won't date him.
Also found these comments to be funny, he refuses to date bi men because he knows they'll never see him as a woman.
And transmen don't have penises so their out as well.
Bi/pan men are honestly the best bet for most of us. They’ll see us as people first and foremost and at least to me that’s the most important thing
[–]virtualmentalist38[S] 5 points 2 hours ago*
I can’t get past my own insecurities to date a bi man. Since he’d be into both men and women, I’d be constantly wondering if he really sees me as a woman, or is just saying that to be polite and not hurt my feelings. Since he’s into both women and men, he wouldn’t need to see me as a woman in order to date me or “do stuff” with me.
[–]CheesecakeMother28 3 points an hour ago
I lived as a gay male before finally facing my dysphoria head on. Gay men are actually cautious about bi men because many were said to be using gay men for unlimited sex but prefer being with women for relationships. So, i don’t think you have to worry about them not seeing you as a girl
[–]No_Dragonfruit8254 0 points 2 hours ago
date trans men
[–]virtualmentalist38[S] 6 points 2 hours ago
I can’t and hopefully I don’t get downvoted for this but I can’t because I have a genital preference. And a lot of trans men don’t have the “thing” I like, and it’s rude to just ask them if they do. They’re 100% men to me and I’ll always respect them and their identity and validity of course. They aren’t less men because they have or don’t have some parts or others. But I can’t help where my attraction is pointed. Trans women also aren’t an option for me because I’m attracted to the male look and appearance, which a lot of trans women obviously understandably want to shed as soon as possible, assuming they hadn’t already by the time I met them.
It was not my intent or mission to invalidate anyone or make them feel less with this comment so I hope I didn’t do that. Please tell me if I did and I’ll reword it.
[–]No_Dragonfruit8254 -9 points 2 hours ago
genital preferences are such bullshit. what, you need to know what genitals someone has before you can develop an emotional connection? it’s nonsense.
[–]leftward_ho 1 point just now
Some people have sexual desires
[–]virtualmentalist38[S] 5 points 2 hours ago*
I can’t get past my own insecurities to date a bi man. Since he’d be into both men and women, I’d be constantly wondering if he really sees me as a woman, or is just saying that to be polite and not hurt my feelings. Since he’s into both women and men, he wouldn’t need to see me as a woman in order to date me or “do stuff” with me.
[–]CheesecakeMother28 3 points an hour ago
I lived as a gay male before finally facing my dysphoria head on. Gay men are actually cautious about bi men because many were said to be using gay men for unlimited sex but prefer being with women for relationships. So, i don’t think you have to worry about them not seeing you as a girl
[–]No_Dragonfruit8254 0 points 2 hours ago
date trans men
[–]virtualmentalist38[S] 6 points 2 hours ago
I can’t and hopefully I don’t get downvoted for this but I can’t because I have a genital preference. And a lot of trans men don’t have the “thing” I like, and it’s rude to just ask them if they do. They’re 100% men to me and I’ll always respect them and their identity and validity of course. They aren’t less men because they have or don’t have some parts or others. But I can’t help where my attraction is pointed. Trans women also aren’t an option for me because I’m attracted to the male look and appearance, which a lot of trans women obviously understandably want to shed as soon as possible, assuming they hadn’t already by the time I met them.
It was not my intent or mission to invalidate anyone or make them feel less with this comment so I hope I didn’t do that. Please tell me if I did and I’ll reword it.
[–]No_Dragonfruit8254 -9 points 2 hours ago
genital preferences are such bullshit. what, you need to know what genitals someone has before you can develop an emotional connection? it’s nonsense.
[–]leftward_ho 1 point just now
Some people have sexual desires
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