Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Pig Cups]

Like this fat crippled faggot could even pick up a cast iron enameled Dutch oven.

Silly goose, that’s what Tammy is for!

Unsure if he still owns it, but Jack has shown himself cooking with a Dutch oven before. I think it’s this one, by Lodge. Can’t be certain, since I’ve never seen it with the cover on.

 

[Marc]

As someone who enjoys Amish food whenever I happen to pass through those regions of the US, I can only imagine how Jack will manage to fuck up and ruin everything he attempts, before doing that thing where he covers his mouth like a Japanese school girl and acts like he made the greatest slop ever. Jack is a one trick pony at this point, with his audience limited to people barely smarter than him using lazy socks to clown on him in the video comments (I'm not saying he deserves better).

I hate Amish Macaroni salad so fucking much, it was like someone played a mean joke on me.
The Scalfanis will love it.

Care to elaborate? Do you enjoy other macaroni salads?

I'm quite fond of the Amish-style macaroni salads I've tried; and will usually make a batch a day ahead of any time I cook a brisket or tri-tip. I like to use ditalini, red onion and bell pepper, celery, a small amount of sweet relish, several diced, boiled eggs, and a dressing emphasizing mustard and paprika more than mayonnaise.

I imagine Jack would produce some soupy abomination derivative of Simply Sara's; where it's just an excuse for him to eat a gallon of mayo and two pounds of SHUGUR:

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Another failed attempt to resurrect the Jack Pack? Jack is prob seething that not a single person liked or commented on this pathetic attempt at engagement farming

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

View attachment 6833872

Another failed attempt to resurrect the Jack Pack? Jack is prob seething that not a single person liked or commented on this pathetic attempt at engagement farming

I hope its not the Jack Pack, that'd be lame. Nah, I want him to have somehow stumbled across the concept of selling courses, and to be gauging interest on whether he can get into that sweet sweet influencer passive recurring revenue financebro stream. Such a course would be almost as entertaining as his cookbook.

 

[Quixotic Man]

As a certified PA Dutch nigger. A lot of pop culture and reality Amish and us over lap in many ways.

Jack probably will love scrapple. If he insults my peoples food (and he will) I will personally piss in his forefathers national dish of hummus.

I'm already worried and angry for next month.

Scrapple has corn in it. Its not Carnivore. Prepare for AI generated carnivore Scrapple, which is just ground pork and eggs.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

As a certified PA Dutch nigger. A lot of pop culture and reality Amish and us over lap in many ways.

Jack probably will love scrapple. If he insults my peoples food (and he will) I will personally piss in his forefathers national dish of hummus.

I'm already worried and angry for next month.

Scrapple goes so well with eggs and toast. It's such a delight to have.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Oh god, Jack is watching Japanese cartoons



Elon dicksucking



Random nonsense












More AI crap



Jack proving how sheltered he is from reality




Non-twitter stuff but holy shit Jack's linktree is disgusting



New Letters from Jack

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Oh god, Jack is watching Japanese cartoons

Yeah except if you go back like to like the mid-90's and earlier anime was still very niche and only nerds watched.

It's all down to Toonami showing episodes of DBZ, Cowboy Bebop and others that started introducing it to the mainstream. Things like Pokemon, YuGiOh and Sailor Moon really cemented it into the cultural Zeigeist.

Point is, Fatty was never cool.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

That starbucks comment is the closest Jack's gotten to actually speaking truth in years (assuming dutch bro's isn't just cheap shit, never heard of them) but its on the same level as saying "grass is green" as far as obvious truths go - No shit, most coffee is better than starbucks, but you don't go to a starbucks for a nice espresso or double double sort of deal, you go to starbucks for a hot chocolate milkshake that just happens to have some coffee in it. No point wasting good beans on that anyway.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Yeah except if you go back like to like the mid-90's and earlier anime was still very niche and only nerds watched.

It's all down to Toonami showing episodes of DBZ, Cowboy Bebop and others that started introducing it to the mainstream. Things like Pokemon, YuGiOh and Sailor Moon really cemented it into the cultural Zeigeist.

Point is, Fatty was never cool.

I know the moment Jack sees something really perverted in anime, he is going to rant about it given his whole thing of pretending to be a super concerned parent that other concerned parents will listen to his advice on things.

 

[Adamska]

As a certified PA Dutch nigger. A lot of pop culture and reality Amish and us over lap in many ways.

Jack probably will love scrapple. If he insults my peoples food (and he will) I will personally piss in his forefathers national dish of hummus.

I'm already worried and angry for next month.

It'd be interesting to see him attempt scrapple, since the last time he made something like that, he had someone else make it for him. I fully expect him to get pissy and change it up to be more like what he wants.

Welp, if he commits to carnie bullshit, he'll fuck up chicken and waffles by making it southern style rather than PA Dutch style, and it'll be more frittata bullshit for the waffle. He'll then bungle scrapple by using porkrinds as the replacement for corn meal. Then he'll probably do hamloaf and fuck that up. Last thing I'd see him make is a pot pie with an egg crust. Or he'll be really lazy and make something like Hot Bacon Dressing. He'll also probably invent a dish or two since research is for chumps.

Either that or he's going to use it to gorge himself on desserts, since again, when I think Amish, I think of fry pies and sweets. And Jack traditionally gets super angy if he is told he can't do a thing.

 

[Bassomatic]

Black rifle coffee has been busted for donations to anti gun groups. It's whole marketing is peak boomer own the libs. Also it's not great. I've been gifted some as a gun guy.

No shock Jack likes it and thinks he's a 3%er. What ever happened to caffeine is evil you fat faggot?

 

[Gentlebastard]

Oh god, Jack is watching Japanese cartoons

Man, that's sad. Jack is pretending to be an entry-level weeb for Internet points and attention, and I can pretty much guarantee it.

First of all, his mental faculties and senses can't even deal with a restaurant menu that is right in front of him, let alone keep up with the plot of a story, even one as basic as the first Hunter x Hunter arc. Second, with the way he acts in the vicinity of anything he deems "woke", and his alleged distaste for violence, he'd be flipping his shit about Kurapika (extremely effeminate-looking man), Hisoka (effeminate, murderous, psychotic, battle-addicted clown who might have a thing for little boys), and the general violence and gore (literally dozens of deaths, limbs and organs being ripped, torture etc. in the first few episodes alone).

At this point, he might as well be surprised that Goku is not a human.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

First of all, his mental faculties and senses can't even deal with a restaurant menu that is right in front of him, let alone keep up with the plot of a story, even one as basic as the first Hunter x Hunter arc

I genuinely think its just a vague blur of colors and sounds Tammy puts on to distract him.

 

[ZipDisk]

Care to elaborate? Do you enjoy other macaroni salads?

I love macaroni salad, and when I found out there were different kinds I was eager to try them. You nailed it already though, the absolute shed load of SHURGUR was nasty as fuck and reminded me of miracle whip.
Like I said before, I felt like someone had played a practical joke on me, but my aunt who spent 20 years in Pennsylvania confirmed that is what it is supposed to taste like and laughed at me.

(She doesn't like certain styles of potato salad because of eggs.)

 

[Marc]

New Letters from Jack

View attachment 6834596

Summary: Jack is demanding Youtube redo the entire platform around his particular censorship needs: In this instance, to allow only paying subscribers to comment on his videos. He is unwilling to disable comments or curate them himself, and blames trolls "being able to comment for FREE" for why he sees only troll comments; and not exclusively positive comments from fans sucking his ass, which he believes are somehow there but invisible. Jack is unwilling to admit that hatewatchers are the only audience he has - He believes it is an infrastructural issue Youtube alone is responsible for.

Jack also demands the ability to use Youtube Studio to split monetization between collaborators; because Jack of course can't be bothered to do that, either. And his example demonstrating the need for this is that he should (hypothetically) be able to allot ten percent of his monetization for a given video to a Hollywood film composer who composes music for Jack's videos. Jack believes Youtube needs to invest in allowing Jack this feature, even though his given example will never, ever happen; much less being anything urgent enough to require attention.

In conclusion: Jack believes he has fans who will pay to post non-troll comments, despite the only viewers caring enough to comment in the first place being trolls. Jack also believes that Hollywood film composers will score his videos of himself pressure-cooking chicken gizzards in Jell-O and fish sauce once Youtube allows him to promise them ten percent of the video's monetization without having to do the work of paying them himself.

 

[ZipDisk]

You already know how that "compensation" would work. Jack would take the money and then retardedly decide how much to pay out his nonexistent minions.
Jack wants to be a boss so fucking much. I'm glad life did not provide that for him.

 

[biggacracka]

I know the moment Jack sees something really perverted in anime, he is going to rant about it given his whole thing of pretending to be a super concerned parent that other concerned parents will listen to his advice on things.

Fatty would 110% watch Bible Black and bitch about it

 

[Marc]

Jack wants to be a boss so fucking much. I'm glad life did not provide that for him.

Someone here (who Search is failing to bring up) hilariously pointed out that Jack's Peter Principle was eating himself into a wheelchair and living off charity and fantasy while pretending his occupation is "celebrity", rather than settling into any particular position within the workforce (he effectively washed out of that segment of civilization in the 1990s).

 

[p1138]

Summary: Jack is demanding Youtube redo the entire platform around his particular censorship needs: In this instance, to allow only paying subscribers to comment on his videos. He is unwilling to disable comments or curate them himself, and blames trolls "being able to comment for FREE" for why he sees only troll comments; and not exclusively positive comments from fans sucking his ass, which he believes are somehow there but invisible. Jack is unwilling to admit that hatewatchers are the only audience he has - He believes it is an infrastructural issue Youtube alone is responsible for.

Jack also demands the ability to use Youtube Studio to split monetization between collaborators; because Jack of course can't be bothered to do that, either. And his example demonstrating the need for this is that he should (hypothetically) be able to allot ten percent of his monetization for a given video to a Hollywood film composer who composes music for Jack's videos. Jack believes Youtube needs to invest in allowing Jack this feature, even though his given example will never, ever happen; much less being anything urgent enough to require attention.

In conclusion: Jack believes he has fans who will pay to post non-troll comments, despite the only viewers caring enough to comment in the first place being trolls. Jack also believes that Hollywood film composers will score his videos of himself pressure-cooking chicken gizzards in Jell-O and fish sauce once Youtube allows him to promise them ten percent of the video's monetization without having to do the work of paying them himself.

Ah yes, Fatty believing he knows how to drive up revenue for youtube because he knows best with his channel that's been on a downward trend for a decade. It's not that youtube prefers overall engagement making more sense, it's limiting everything so people have to pay Fatty to tell him he's a sack of shit. Nevermind the half million or more channels doing significantly better than his.

And then wanting youtube to do the accounting and distribution for his dream of collaborations and shit... his wife is a fucking accountant already. But somehow everyone else on the platform can figure out how to make it work, except Fatty.