He's really churning out the approaches today. Gotta get psyched up for the day of the butterfly nets, I guess. I still have no idea why he reverts to the same tone during "Can I buy you a drink?"
Edit: Anotha one. Perhaps the worst one. "My friends name is... My name is Lucas"
I suspect the weird exact tone is because of how bad lucas is at talking to people - especially women, as his reflection post admitted his brain locks up and he can't think clearly so I wouldn't be surprised if he memorizes these pickup lines by rote and drills them into his own head so that he can say them at all, so its like he's flipping a switch in his brain to get them out at all and they end up sounding monotone and odd because of it. Like his brain is off but his mouth is running on autopilot kind of thing
That said, with all this obsession over what to say it must mean his big day isn't too far away
HackerX said:
TBH, I couldn't contain myself if Lucas managed to get someone with his Venus Flytrap tactics. Imagine the series of events of a waitress bringing the tab. She places it down and Lucas slides it on over to the zoomer honey nonchalantly.
I suspect it would be even funnier if lucas took inspiration from movie scenes where men bought a drink for a woman and the bartender tells her 'compliments of the gentleman over there' and nods to lucas's direction, and she looks over and is horrified to see lucas sitting in the corner table staring at her with a creepy rictus grin and his eyes bulging out, and enough food for 3 people in front of him. She'd be horrified and lucas would be infuriated when she didn't go over to him with it and ignored him at best
HackerX said:
It's like his brain is getting things out of order, but he doesn't catch it until the words are already said.
Indeed, like I said he's doing this shit by rote and trying to condition himself to do it properly and can't even get it right alone, outside with nobody around and no pressure. No way he'd be able to walk up to anyone, let alone anyone he is interested in and say it properly. He'd fuck it up, make a fool out of himself and might even get laughed at and told to fuck off. He wouldn't respond well to outright being laughed at at all. That alone could make him chimp out
HackerX said:
I think he's having fun on this one.
Wern was a sk8er boi she said see you later boi
Someone had to say it
HackerX said:
Please do this one, Lucas! It'll work for sure.
Homepickles? Where the fuck did he get that one? He couldn't sound more like an out of touch creepy old man if he tried
Twrx said:
I really want to see him try to use his Dr niggae Lucas title as a pick up line. Granted, I can't see him actually approaching a woman.
Particularly on a black woman or a particularly woke white woman. His ass would be all over tiktok in 20 minutes and we'd be getting quite the chimpout when she lost her shit on him for it and half a dozen people around her pulled out their phones to record him. I could even see him thinking that meant they were kiwis or sofalaw members and ranting about it at them for doing that
King roy would not be pleased that day
That said, the funniest part about this whole bar plan he has is he has a fucking curfew at 45, he has to be back in his room when most bars are just starting to pick up. When is he even planning to do this shit? Like get there at 6pm or something like a senior showing up for the early bird special? Its not like there are going to be many zoomer baes at the bar when lucas is there to begin with and even if he somehow did manage to get one to go to a table with him whats he going to do? see its close to his curfew, get up and waddle back to mallon place after asking for her number at a time when many people are just getting to the bars not leaving them? Its not like he can stay until closing or whatever with her and invite her home and things wouldn't go well for him if he stayed out past curfew to stay at the bar and slept on the sidewalk or in the woods that night, waddling back in the morning to catch breakfast and reeking of booze. He's not even supposed to be drinking with his health problems
