Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Vibralldo]

Hacker Rekieta

I hope for a Seinfeld like ending. Everyone is in prison, even the kids. Even the cops.

In a twist of irony, the prisoners take better care of the kids than Nick and Kayla. Think the Cancer episode of superjail.

 

[Law]

His transformation into Ethan Ralph will then be one step closer to completion.

"Unlike you two-titted NERDS I have three tits! And we all know three is more than two!"

 

[Happy Little War Painter]

Okay, I know I am always rooting for Rackets to steal away April to the Barbie Dream House....

But,

I'll settle for him gaining 400lbs after swapping coke and Doritos for McDonald's and Xannies.

 

[Step out of the car sir]

You guys joke but the last couple times he went on stream he did look like he was putting on weight which happens to most addicts when they get clean. I wouldn't be surprised if his lack of streaming now is because he chunked up and doesn't want anyone to see.

Pigger Tits Nick arc is unexpected but welcome.
By the wearing of the Sonichu necklace he will begin merging with the Ragepig, creating the most powerful addict in history and worse father of all time, double the xannies, double the coke.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

I'll settle for him gaining 400lbs after swapping coke and Doritos for McDonald's and Xannies.

What if Ralph cleans up after rehab and Nick becomes the new Gunt? Then the Magi-Chan curse will be fully transferred.

 

[lIllllIiiiiLLLLiiiiIIIIll]

What if Ralph cleans up after rehab

This should be the textbook example of an "optimistic" KWF post.

 

[Chazzed Up]

His transformation into Ethan Ralph will then be one step closer to completion.

I don't know if anyone can become Ralph in body. His mutated bloated form defies medical explanation. He's like Leatherface but more like his entire body is like that. Leathergunt maybe.

 

[Windy Moors]

View attachment 6853756
He's already past the homo part

These poor mites look traumatised.

Halp!

 

[Folgers Can]

Just a minor update on the Ape Escape. Remember way back when Aaron revealed that whippets were a popular party favor back in the qover days, followed by even post-arrest "sober" Nick's still-increasing brain damage sparking speculation ITT that he selected Galaxy Gas as the sneaky way to get fucked up without failing piss tests?

Well, now in his chat before his show this morning, Aaron added more specifics that while April was also taking drug tests in a futile attempt to persuade CPS to allow her some caregiving role, her drug of choice to circumvent the testing regimen was none other than nitrous oxide. This is according to Keanu, to whom April was still talking at the time, and who reportedly even heard the huffing over the phone. At least this explains her November tweetstorms' utter lunacy reaching greater heights than usual:

(LINK)

What are the odds that Ape got this idea from Nick, who did "his WebMD thing" and concocted this galaxy-brained scheme to fool the gub'mint tests? And will these scurrilous accusations prompt Nick to step up and defend sister-wife's sacred honour?

 

[Roboute Guilliman]

Awww, he appreciates our efforts.
View attachment 6826156
Archive

I know, I know, super late. Unlike Nick I actually take care of my family so don't have much time to spend on the farms. Anyway this is why I didn't want to vote for him, I knew he would get off on it. Oh well he definitely earned it.
Anyway even if he doesn't rot in a cell he will still rot in hell. Until next time, stay awesome kiwis.

 

[Melty Butter]

What does Nick even do all day? He doesn't stream, he doesn't work...

In response to this question, I did a bit of digging due to my prior research into the small-town details of the Hatfields, the Church, etc. I was curious about Nick's exaggerations and obligations whether or not Kayla is incompetent.

TLDR: Nick's family schedule is/was busy but no busier than any other upper-middle-class American family of 7 be it rural, suburban or urban, homeschooled or not. Most parents work. If lucky, one works. Nick, at best, worked a part time job and had a NANNY until early 2024.

Focusing on the school year bc that's easier. Below is roughly what we know about their schedule in the school year, pre-arrest. It's largely similar today with the big exception that Nick and Kayla no longer attend the Evangelical Covenant Church of New London. The grandparents take the kids to church on Sundays and Wednesdays.

Rekieta Rough Family Schedule - Sept. 2023 - May 2024

Key:
Black = Verified by public schedules and Nick's remarks.
Green = Total conjecture on what day & time but we know all the kids take music lessons based on Nick’s comments. I was generous to block off 3 time slots for all 5 kids considering there is probably some grouping with the violin or piano instructor.
Red = We don’t know when or how often the homeschool co-op met. I’m being VERY generous by guessing it was 1-2x/week.
Purple = Nick's streaming schedule was haphazard - a rough and generous estimate of 3x/week. Days varied.
Orange = Fall months. Time/days vary but the School’s sports schedule and Nick's complaints verify soccer practice 2x/week + 1 game/week.
Blue = Winter months. Tournaments verified by public documents. (Eldest also probably stayed after school for speech practice but it’s unknown what days.)


Note: Normal additions to the schedule were probable: Medical appointments, Sletta/Woltjer family events + added social events (Church pot-lucks, parent/teacher meetings, kids' sleepovers, trips to MN for coke (lol) - normal stuff).

A typical day at the Rekietas? Let's assume pre-drugs:

• Kayla went to bed early (11-12). She probably woke up with the girls (the younger ones) and then stayed with them throughout the morning, supposedly teaching. She likely tag-teamed with the nanny for groceries and shuttling the girls to daytime activities.
• Nick streamed until 3-4 AM, slept for 2-3 hours, then brought the boy(s) to early morning obligations He would return home and crash for several hours. He's said this.
• Kayla hates driving at night, says Nick, so Nick probably did that.

Spoiler: Nick's wildly exaggerated burden of driving time & distance

Here's the driving times to the regular destinations:

• 20 min. to the private school attended by the eldest
• 9 min. to the Church
• 14 min. to the dance school attended by the girls

A note on driving to/from the speech tournaments and shared responsibilities:
Over the years the eldest advanced from competing in 1 tournament/year to 7/year. The drive to those locations ranges from 46 min to 1:50 min. Some of those locations are closer to Minneapolis. One hopes Nick wasn't scoring coke while going to the tournaments.

But did Nick even attend the tournaments? The eldest competes with a kid whose mom (Carrie Larson) has the maiden name Woltjer. I have a hunch that Mom was doing some heavy lifting last year.

Anyway, AI says that a typical upper-middle-class kid in America does 2-3 extracurricular activities comprised of sports, music lessons, and academic clubs. Those of us who are part of families of 3+ kids (or know such families) are familiar with the norm of carpooling and shared activities. Parents will often trade off for away games and the like. I highly doubt he was doing everything.

Always remember that they had a NANNY to help until approximately Jan/Feb 2024 according to Aaron and Pastor Melin.

So, yeah, not exactly new news but even IF Kayla is a drugged-out zombie, the schedule is typical. If anything, the lack of structured schooling for four of the kids makes the schedule even more flexible. As has been pointed out many times ITT, everything crashed when the nanny left.

Edit: Formatting

 

[john marston]

When you have a HABIT of doing cocaine and suddenly "stop" the mountains you were doing before, you gain weight. Because of that, Rekieta is getting more FAT.

As we know, Rekieta cannot put in the effort to lose weight. So, he should return to doing heavy stimulants to help this FAT NERD lose weight.

What's worse than being a NERD? Being a FAT NERD of course...

 

[Point and Laugh]

Nick obviously wants Josh’s attention. Desperately. I have to agree that at the very least, Nick shows very homosexual tendencies. His obsession with being skinny and weak reminds me of the twink death phase gays deal with.

I am curious what will happen once this case is over. The fact that he’s dragged his case out has allowed him to keep a very small amount of attention (90% of it in court or on this thread) but once that’s done, either he just dwindles away or he has to ramp up the degeneracy.

He can’t live without attention - as exhibited in his sad attempt to bait Josh into any kind of response.

 

[Clayton cadidlehopper]

New neighbors both work at Wimlar Assembly of God...did Nick say what his new church was? I just remember that he was looking for a place where he fit in better...

https://www.mndor.state.mn.us/ecrv_search/app/openParcelIdSearch

Parcel ID is 27-032-0044
(select preliminary search Type)

 

[Strix454]

What are the odds that Ape got this idea from Nick, who did "his WebMD thing" and concocted this galaxy-brained scheme to fool the gub'mint tests?

There were several people here I think who speculated that galaxy gas would be a natural direction for Nick in particular to go in. I wouldn't have thought April would go that way though. But her doing it is completely consistent with her move toward insanity in her social media posts and her decaying physical appearance.

It would explain alot about Nick as well. Even more brain damage on top of his previous brain damage.

 

[Chazzed Up]

These poor mites look traumatised.
View attachment 6854553
Halp!
View attachment 6854554

Making me imagine Balldo Rotom. Or I guess probably more appropriately, Vibralldo Rotom since it needs an electronic host.

 

[Step out of the car sir]

Making me imagine Balldo Rotom. Or I guess probably more appropriately, Vibralldo Rotom since it needs an electronic host.

1000 years in ms paint

 

[Chazzed Up]

View attachment 6855052
1000 years in ms paint

Rotom in the Rekieta household:
Vibralldo Rotom
Streaming Computer Rotom
Hot Tub Rotom
Digital Coke Scale Rotom

 

[Melty Butter]

On Aaron's earlier-than-normal evening show (Vikings are playing tonight) he said Nick was de-modding people when Nick had access to his account. It's at 2:24:15.

If true, that's unfathomably gay. Also, it would imply that the forensic PI is tracing all the activity on Aaron's account and isolating what Nick was doing, correct?

 

[ChromaQuack]

"Fat, stressed, damn that third doughnut looks delicious though and the taste will help me forget my troubles for a bit.... Could really eat that fourth doughnut. Who would know? And the chaotic energy won't feed itself... Five doughnuts is reasonable when you've had a bad day like today. Like every day. Ugh.. I shouldn't have eaten that sixth doughnut..."

He's just replacing the white powder he ingests, cocaine for powdered sugar.

That's why he's growing bitch tits, because he's a massive fat ass who just can't stop ingesting white powders.

her drug of choice to circumvent the testing regimen was none other than nitrous oxide.

Oh yeah that's a great one to use if you want to avoid turning into a retard, I mean it only displaces oxygen in the body as the nitrogen in it is absorbed at a much higher rate than regular 'common air' nitrogen, and then gives you a two-punch of retardation by not only starving your brain from oxygen but by oxidizing the cobalt in vitamin B12, effectively deactivating it and indirectly causing the myelin in your nervous system to go caput, which to your brain is the equivalent of running all the cables in your house as exposed copper without a protective sheathe.

Remember the recently sold house and the state of disrepair it was at? turns out it might have been representative of their bodies too.