Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Marc]

"Yoked" is an antiquated term for connected oxen which evangelical christians in the US throw around when hyperbolically describing people or matters perceived to be strongly bonded and/or figuratively aligned side-by-side. They do so because the word appears throughout the King James Bible - Meaning the term is exclusively invoked in "holier-than-thou" contexts by sanctimonious try-hards with stunted vocabularies; and its use strongly associated with undignified sanctimony by those who know better than to use it.

Of course, Jack typed "yolked" because he fucks up every cheap ego boost he attempts, and no fruit ever actually hangs low enough for his feeble grasp to reach. What Jagoff was actually trying to say is that his and Tammy's marriage is the ideal all couples should be striving for; because he could tell from date #1 that Tammy was his equal in the matter of being the perfect, model christian.

As always, the guy who went from being five feet tall to sitting in a wheelchair, and is soon to be six feet under - all because he refused to curtail eating garbage every day - still expects everyone else to look up to him, even when his ivory tower is a handicap toilet.

Oh, I nearly forgot:

I felt bad for Rob that no one's taken his bait to comment with the ways they've "cheated" in recipes (such as claiming that it's all "carnivore").

 

[EatYourVeggies]

Yoked: person in possession of large deltoid, trapezius and neck musculature. I can definitely see why Jack wants a Yoked partner. Jim Trainor <3

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Oh, I nearly forgot:


I felt bad for Rob that no one's taken his bait to comment with the ways they've "cheated" in recipes (such as claiming that it's all "carnivore").

I want to comment that I have a friend who is carnivore but frequently cheats by eating non-animal products.

Rob is the greatest. I want to be like him when I get older and spend my days trolling a miserable, fat, lazy piece of shit like Jack. Rob, if you're reading this, the Hulkster salutes you brother

 

[THEGREATMADSCIENTEST]

KEK
THE JACK SHALL NOT DIE AS LONG AS WE LIVE

 

[Bassomatic]

Maybe so, but I'm going to play devil's advocate for a second. Most of the time a woman considers anything you go through effort as romantic. Mrs. Revelator's favorite meal is some scrambled eggs and bell peppers I cooked for her (it was the first thing I ever cooked for her) and she considers it super romantic because 1. she's awesome and 2. I put it together just for her.

That being said, everything was cooked well and she didn't get food poisoning, so that probably helped a bit.

Mrs basso was reading over my shoulder and said you're a sweet heart.

Jack legitimately made me laugh about that post it's the most "Tammy is my beard" I've ever seen. You could show that to anyone unaware of Jack and they get "that's a gay dude" from it. So funny.

Jack doesn't do meal prep but he preps the bull.

Actually talking about actually romantic meals. So Mrs basso (who's still reading over my shoulder) is a dago. South Philly eye talun American. She grew up with that food and me also being from area love it. But I actually am way more a foody and enjoy real Italian.

I know for her it's a comfort food. A little thing I do that she always is eye watering thankful for is when we do garlic bread I make her the crappy Italian bread from the store covered in buddah and garlak seeznin. While I make the real stuff for me.

I actually love my wife tho she's not covering up any homo urges or my caretaker.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Maybe so, but I'm going to play devil's advocate for a second. Most of the time a woman considers anything you go through effort as romantic. Mrs. Revelator's favorite meal is some scrambled eggs and bell peppers I cooked for her (it was the first thing I ever cooked for her) and she considers it super romantic because 1. she's awesome and 2. I put it together just for her.

It's just I have a slightly different version of a romantic dinner. What he served? That could be practically an every day meal. Chicken, something green, potato, salad and maybe dessert.

The first time I cooked a "romantic" meal for Mrs. Sebben I went all out. Multiple courses, champagne, fine wine, chocolate covered strawberries, the whole nine yards. Spent a good portion of the day in the kitchen and put the finishing touches on it when she walked in the door. Romantic to me means putting in actual effort and making something she's going to remember.

 

[Neko GF]

LOW CARB PIZZA​

(01/17/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=Ft8yPjSIhZ8

Spoiler: Local Archive

 

[ILikeYou]

I was watching some really recent Jack videos, and he's just looking worse and goofier than ever. In the recent anti-feminist rant w/ his brother Charles, I was trying to figure out why he looked so doofus-y, and then today I realized: it's him trying to look at the computer screen/camera at the correct angle while 'aiming' to see through the bottom part of his, likely, bifocal progressive type glasses.

So, basically, he can't change exactly where the computer screen or camera is, so instead he has to change the position of his head, to aim his eye trajectory through the bottom half of his lenses. So, he ends up tilting his head upward--while his mouth hangs open, one eye is perpetually almost totally closed--and then he 'aims' his glance through the lenses down at the screen, while looking upwards at the same time. The combination of all that is so doofy, to the max, and I'm so glad I figured out why his head positioning is so odd: looking up, while looking down, while making a straining face.

 

[Judas Connor Moon]

LOW CARB PIZZA​

(01/17/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=Ft8yPjSIhZ8

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 6870135

Nothing says low-carb pizza more than a cheese pizza made with cheese, topped with cheese then garnished with cheese.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

LOW CARB PIZZA​

(01/17/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=Ft8yPjSIhZ8

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 6870135

Nothing here is carnivore.

You're allowed some dairy and processed meats on carnivore but no tomatoes. Keto? Maybe but I trust Fatty's word as far as I could trust him to walk unaided.

Nothing says low-carb pizza more than a cheese pizza made with cheese, topped with cheese then garnished with cheese.

And he probably wanted to add more. Already the amount of shreddy cheese he put on top was too much.

 

[Adamska]

LOW CARB PIZZA​

(01/17/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=Ft8yPjSIhZ8

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 6870135

In short, more sad frittata bullshit where the fat retard tries to blend cheese and eggs to make cruts and lie about it tasting like a proper crust and it actually being good. Just this time it's burned since he double cooked it, and it's choked with shitty cheap cheese and way too much pepperoni. Oh and it's so carnivore it uses tomato sauce.

It's fucking comical that he's still trying to lie about eating carnie. It also unfortunately means he'll likely focus on meat products for Amish month, meaning botched scrapple, sad frittata pot pies, and horrid hamloaf.

 

[souschef]

LOW CARB PIZZA​

(01/17/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=Ft8yPjSIhZ8

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 6870135

Of course he burned it. This motherfucker STILL doesn't know how to spread sauce on a pizza. You're suposed to spread with the spoon so it covers the dough evenly, he just dribbles it, Jack makes everything looks disgusting. Also what's wrong with his voice?

 

[a terminal posture]

LOW CARB PIZZA​

(01/17/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=Ft8yPjSIhZ8

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 6870135

The part where he sneezuns the 'crust', then BONG! cuts to 400F FOR 40 MINUTES, then cuts back to him putting Italian sneezuning on the crust, then cuts to the cooked crust is a nice touch in an otherwise boring video.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Jack's speech is getting slower and more garbled. Is another stroke in fatty's near future?

 

[biggacracka]

Jack's speech is getting slower and more garbled. Is another stroke in fatty's near future?

I think it'll be the second to last stroke, leaving him almost in a vegetative state, drooling and grunting, having to eat paste instead of joocy meats.
That, or his next stroke somehow fixes him and he claims divine intervention before getting ran over by an 18 wheeler

 

[Tiresome]

"Eww." - one of the earliest chefs on Youtube, sliding eggs into a blender.

Bonus: The editing now makes it super obvious whenever Mommy steps in to save him from his own incompetence.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

I hate Low Carb "Pizza" the one important thing to pizza is the crust followed by the sauce while Cheese and Toppings are just that fucking toppings.

Edit: Also, this is a shining example of why I hate when fatties go low carb. Low Carb means switching from White Carbs to Brown Carbs and eating more veg and cutting sugar out not eating tons of Diary and fatty meats which defeats the health benefits to going low carb.

 

[Whaler]

Jack's speech is getting slower and more garbled. Is another stroke in fatty's near future?

Fingers crossed it happens. I voted for 2025 in the poll.

 

[Adamska]

Fingers crossed it happens. I voted for 2025 in the poll.

I want to see him fuck up one Amish dish before he goes, since I have no clue what the hell he's going to do to their cuisine and I'm very familiar with what they make due to living in the Amish belt.

I'm still not sure if he's going to either make only their meat dishes, damn the diet and fail to make their desserts, or most horrifically of all, try to turn their desserts into fake carnie bullshit.

Can you imagine trying to make a carnivore whoopie pie? Or how about a carnie lard cake?

I really want to see just one poor take of that before he drops at least.

 

[Super Hans v2]

I want to see him fuck up one Amish dish before he goes, since I have no clue what the hell he's going to do to their cuisine and I'm very familiar with what they make due to living in the Amish belt.

I'll save you the wait and spoil that it'll be a mystery meat, shreddy cheese, and butter.