CW: deadnaming and transphobia
I got a text message while I was at work this past weekend from an automated system with a number I didn't recognize saying something to the effect of:
"[DEADNAME], you've been invited to [sister's name] bachelorette party! To RSVP click this link"
She's aware that I'm trans and knows both of my preferred names, but historically she's been super crappy about it. With party invites, I know for a fact the names you put in are far from needing to be legal names (I've yet to get my name changed), and I haven't gone by my deadname for longer than her son has been alive; since 2020. My nephew is 2.
This message also came after I had told my mother about her and her fiance's fighting so it feels very retaliatory.
I haven't responded yet and I'm not sure what to do exactly. She never spoke to me in person about any of this or asked what I would've preferred, the only thing she spoke directly to me about in regards to the wedding was to hand me an invite.
My sister and I aren't on great terms and never were. She's not a healthy person to put it lightly, and even when I wasn't a healthy person myself I wanted nothing to do with her. I am, however, tempted to RSVP and go in full masc wear depending on the dress code and just be a horrifyingly obviously masculine dude attending, what will likely be, an otherwise all women party. Maybe throw in my many pronoun pins and badges. But I'm also not sure if that's even a good idea.