Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

There shouldn't be any Jedi Order 66 survivors. Those that aren't killed by Order 66 are methodically hunted down by the Empire and Vader until all that's left are Obi-Wan and Yoda. The rest are gone. Tarkin even says so to Vader after Kenobi is killed when he says Vader is the last Jedi. "...their fire has gone out...". Presumably everyone thinks Yoda has just died of old age. There shouldn't be any left.

It's hard to think that of all the hidden Jedi none of them join the Rebellion and none of them say after Luke destroys the Death Star "hmm, I should go meet him and if he is the Son of Skywalker train him as best I can..."
Every new Jedi they introduce just widens the plot hole question of why none of these dozens of capable Jedi Knights and masters never joined the rebellion. Personally, I think it stopped making sense when Ahsoka popped up in Rebels but she's Reddit's favorite so she gets a pass.
 
Every new Jedi they introduce just widens the plot hole question of why none of these dozens of capable Jedi Knights and masters never joined the rebellion. Personally, I think it stopped making sense when Ahsoka popped up in Rebels but she's Reddit's favorite so she gets a pass.
Some of them did, only to get killed long before the Battle of Yavin. At least in the EU.
 
Please check my facts, but if we take every source into account it's around 120 people in total by 4 ABY.
I personally think that number is too high. If you told me that maybe a dozen at most, mainly being padawans or those already in the boonies were there, I'd buy it. Especially since it'd be just enough to restart the Jedi Order with some training, but not so much as to make you go "why the fuck are there so many of these cunts. Why aren't at least a couple of them around actively during the rebellion?"

That's just my personal take though, since I think Order 66 survivors should be even rarer than just 99%. 100+ is just too much IMO.
Every new Jedi they introduce just widens the plot hole question of why none of these dozens of capable Jedi Knights and masters never joined the rebellion. Personally, I think it stopped making sense when Ahsoka popped up in Rebels but she's Reddit's favorite so she gets a pass.
It's hilarious that Dave keeps trying to make her this big figure but keeps being forced to invent excuses for why his shitty sue isn't there. It's hilarious that he keeps forcing the lore to make her try and become Star War's Gandalf at best (seriously, faggot actually thinks this he likes art and I think commissioned art of this fucking arrogance of his), or the incarnation of the force itself at worst, and then she never shows up.

She should have fucking died in the Clone Wars cartoon. Or in Rebels at the latest. That would've not only done less damage to the setting proper, but it'd also be reasonable for WHY she can never show up in the OT and in the ST in general.

Dave is more of a bitch than the woman who wrote the Harry Potter books. And she allegedly cried a couple of times when she killed characters.
 
And here are more memberberries from Disney Wars.
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Now, there were some clever dodges I don't take much issue with. There was the one Jedi who had relinquished his post as as knight/master before Order 66 - that's valid. Dude also IIRC explains away his lack of involvement because he just felt like he was too old. Cal from Jedi Survivor I'll buy because he was a padawan. The padawans escaping are really only an issue in the number.

And then there is this guy

1737770643165.png

"Yo, m8te, them clune tropper wankas just dun appeah out of nowheah? Stinks laik ded fesh! Imma gunna huve me own squadi of vahlunteeahs"

Perfect example of properly paranoid.
 
I never saw the problem with Order 66 survivors. Please check my facts, but if we take every source into account it's around 120 people in total by 4 ABY. The number I've heard was that there were 10000 Jedi in the entire galaxy by the end of the Clone Wars, if that's accurate, the Empire had successfully killed or converted 99% of them by the time Vader died. There's a reddit post that does a really autistic breakdown. Considering that the survivors were individual people and there were no Jedi enclaves after the purge, it's plausible that the Empire didn't get them all, especially since Sheev didn't consider a handful of individual Jedi a threat worth hunting down.

Additionally, I think out of the 120 survivors there were only two working with the Rebellion, Rahm Kota and Qu Rahn.
Yeah, that never really bothered me when you really crunch the numbers
 
The fact that Dave Filoni has a career is mystifying to me. He should just be some fat faggot who shows up at your local FLGS for MTG tournaments. That's the only place I've ever seen neckbearded guys with the "three wolf moon" T-shirt and a stupid hat. But somehow, this dork got put in charge of a major part of a billion-dollar IP and was allowed to use it as his personal playground.
That's not too hard to figure out, I'm afraid.

Filoni is a professional bootlicker, so he had no trouble getting along with Lucas, and then with Kennedy. In Hollywood, connections are way more important than talent. That’s why it baffles me that people still buy into Doomcock’s and other grifters' BS about a 'civil war.' Filoni only has a job because he's a textbook yes-man.

Second, he’s nerdy enough to know all the Star Wars facts that the other bosses and nepotism hires don't care about, like the galactic senate, how the Jedi Order functions, and other wookiepiedia tier facts. Finally, while, like you said, his writing is fanfic-tier, it's a 'In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king' situation. Even fanfic-tier writing is better than the woke garbage the others make.
 
Ok so I am gonna try anuddah of my patented autistic thought experiments here, this time centred around TLJ which I feel to be the movie most responsible for the death of Star Wars as a franchise more even than TROS as the latter movie's faults and fuckups can almost all be traced back to the shit done by Rian Johnson in the preceding movie. Obviously its failings as a Star Wars movie and as a movie in general have been discussed and broken down for like 8 years now in extreme detail but I think its central deficiencies can be surmised as thus.
  • Overt contempt for the basic elements of the franchise and especially of characters from the original trilogy without any understanding of said elements or characters
  • Complete rejection of story seeds set up in the previous movie without any decent substitution or resolution for the sake of "subverting expectations"
  • Explicitly shrinking the entire setting's universe to a literal couple hundred rebels on one ship vs what is effectively an infinitely huge and powerful empire that unaccountably occupies the entire galaxy along with a random casino planet
  • Layering the screentime with incessant "wacky" humour and pretences of snark that completely negated any drama or attempt at seriousness
  • Inept attempt at "messaging" with the whole pink haired admiral lady "UNQUESTIONINGLY OBEY KATHLEEN KENNEDY YOUR MASTER FOR SHE ALWAYS KNOWS BEST" subplot and the aforementioned "war profiteering bad/cruelty to animals bad" casino planet subplot
  • Downright pathetic characterisations of the main cast and an obsession with petty relationship melodrama with zero justification
Now, did I list all this just as an exercise of throwing shit at a movie I hate?

Yes.

However secondary to this was my question as to whether TLJ would have been a "better" movie solely if two changes were made.
  1. It was the first movie of its trilogy
  2. Its trilogy was entirely removed from the main series, and set either a thousand years before or after the OT era
Obviously there would need to be some spackling done with regards to OT characters and factions being renamed and rebranded as well as some of the screentime adjusted to give the characters introductions, but once this is done and the movie becomes a blank slate first act of a trilogy set in a completely different era, one entirely free of both the mangling of OT shit and the mangling of a prior movie's storylines, would it be the masterpiece its so often declared to be by so many self declared media literacy experts and anti-chud redditors?

Would it be even vaguely passable as a movie bearing in mind it would still carry the fuckups with setting/characters/messaging/"humour" that Rian Johnson threw in, not to mention the same unearned smugness over how epic and deep a deconstruction it was of the franchise? Because I keep fucking hearing this from the dregs of the shill demographic who are still trying to relitigate TLJ as some tragic flawed masterpiece that was held back by unfairly being the second movie of a sequel trilogy instead of its own thing which is why so many have been fooled into unfairly hating it, and for the fucking life of me even if I try to steelman that shit I can't fucking see a way this shit would not be a trainwreck.
 
I won't go into it too much because talking about TLJ feels like beating a dead horse at this point, but what I don't think people talk about enough is how TLJ didn't feel like a Star Wars movie on a technical level. No old-fashioned wipe transitions, non-linear editing, even the cinematography was a little too good, if that makes sense. Say what you will about JJ, but he did a great job emulating the look and feel of a proper Star Wars film, apart from his signature lens flare idiocy and the overly dramatic lighting of the lightsaber duel.

I might have complained about that before, it's been a long thread.
 
However secondary to this was my question as to whether TLJ would have been a "better" movie solely if two changes were made.
Leia flying through space still keeps it a bad movie. Maybe it is better in a marginal sense, but it's still bad. Holdo scenes have to read in about in a based way to work, so DEI is out. Casino planet is still a Gaiden chapter that doesn't need to be there.
 
Leia flying through space still keeps it a bad movie. Maybe it is better in a marginal sense, but it's still bad. Holdo scenes have to read in about in a based way to work, so DEI is out. Casino planet is still a Gaiden chapter that doesn't need to be there.
In this hypothetical Leia would be replaced by uh..... Sheevena Valorum III, distant ancestor of Terrance Stamp's character in TPM and leader of the... lets go with the Republic Remnant fighting against the....erm....Sith Hegemony circa 2000 years bee bee why

We can be generous in steelmanning how this character not actually being Leia and the Carrie Fisher death not being a factor would mean when she gets blowed out into space she dies there as expected. She serves solely as a brief "head of team good guy" and mother of darth gamergate until her fucking chud of a son blows up her ship in the first act.
 
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If it way set in the future and lets say Rey is Luke's great great granddaughter, TLJ would have sucked, but not this much.

The Boba Fett series sucked but wasn't the sledgehammer of shit that the Acolyte was. Same would apply here. It would be another bad Disney film, but not the franchise nuke it was.
 
However secondary to this was my question as to whether TLJ would have been a "better" movie solely if two changes were made.
While TLJ was atrocious, I think TFA doomed the trilogy, and entire franchise by extension, to the point it was unsalvageable no matter who did anything after.

TFA was just a worse copy of A New Hope in a way that is both lazy and shows only a skin deep understanding of why people liked Star Wars. There is no new lore or greater universe, everything still surrounds the Jedi and Sith and the heroes will forever be rebels against an empire with a mysterious origin. Its entire story was obvious from the get-go and relied on alluding to the past.

It's also why people looked fondly on the prequels, since Lucas actually did something new rather than make the same movie.
 
While TLJ was atrocious, I think TFA doomed the trilogy, and entire franchise by extension, to the point it was unsalvageable no matter who did anything after.

TFA was just a worse copy of A New Hope in a way that is both lazy and shows only a skin deep understanding of why people liked Star Wars. There is no new lore or greater universe, everything still surrounds the Jedi and Sith and the heroes will forever be rebels against an empire with a mysterious origin. Its entire story was obvious from the get-go and relied on alluding to the past.

It's also why people looked fondly on the prequels, since Lucas actually did something new rather than make the same movie.
Honestly I gotta disagree. TFA was trash, don't get me wrong, and not only was it trash but it was given entirely undeserved accolades solely because it was seen as technically "better" than the prequels on first glance due to how less clunky the script and acting seemed to be. However it was trash that, with some decent spackling, could have been a springboard to something better even if only by a little if the movie was handed to someone who actually gave a shit about the franchise more than shitting out a retarded self declared "deconstruction" trainwreck.

Enough of the patented mystery boxes had been flung around for any and all manner of possible storylines to be used in order to try and retroactively justify the plot failings and questions of this first movie, from Rey being stupidly overpowered to Luke dipping out of the galaxy to the new republic's apparent weakness/non existence, to kylo ren's weirdass fixation on rey, to everything surrounding snoke. Had a halfway competent writer and director taken the project it is genuinely difficult to see how they would have failed to conjure up something passable out of these mystery boxes.

The end result probably would have been overall weaker than the prequels and generally a mix of rehashed OT shit and fanfic bait mixed with elements grafted from the old EU, but it wouldn't have been anywhere near the fucking failure we saw with TLJ and compounded with TROS solely because the plot seeds/mystery boxes would not have been gigglingly trashed by a manlet with delusions of being an auteur and replaced with a giant pile of jack shit, leaving the studio in panic mode trying to figure out a way to end the now abortive trilogy given how part two literally just ejected everything set up by part one as well as everything the fans had originally turned out to see.

And honestly speaking purely anecdotally, I remember there being genuine if heavily hopium infused hype in the months before TLJ was revealed, even on this very thread. There was still a fucking star wars fandom after TFA released, there was vibrant autism in speculating what would come next, there was enthusiasm for the various side projects being announced....but then out came TLJ and well we all know how the story goes from there.
 
The end result probably would have been overall weaker than the prequels and generally a mix of rehashed OT shit and fanfic bait mixed with elements grafted from the old EU, but
But this is my point. It would have still sucked and at best it would have kept the honeymoon phase going for few more films, but it signalled the death of SW, at least under Disney.

It's not like TLJ prevented any good future SW films, but rather that it was the sobering up point where everyone accepted that nothing good would come because modern writing has only two modes:
* Emulate the past only make it with women and gay.
* Make it hate the original crowd to appeal to pseudo-intellectuals.
 
The only reasonable way I could understand anyone would find the last Jedi enjoyable is if you are specifically someone that literally has zero love, or attachment for anything about Star Wars before it. Hence the reason why some people are being sincere on liking it.

Without being a Star Wars fan, by itself TLJ is mostly a cheesey, boring at times, b tier sci Fi movie with a mildly surprising twist. You wouldn't care about Luke's character assassination, all the lore breaking, or how it wasted all the build up and theorizing to "subvert expectations" in the most insulting way possible.

It really takes being even a casual fan to truly appreciate how terrible it really is. It was made by someone that wanted to give the middle finger to fans and it shows.

So you had woke idiots sincerely clapping at the girl bosses in a franchise they never cared about. And the real fans being torn between denial and despair. It's a movie that could have only be made out of spite and hate.
 
But this is my point. It would have still sucked and at best it would have kept the honeymoon phase going for few more films, but it signalled the death of SW, at least under Disney.

It's not like TLJ prevented any good future SW films, but rather that it was the sobering up point where everyone accepted that nothing good would come because modern writing has only two modes:
* Emulate the past only make it with women and gay.
* Make it hate the original crowd to appeal to pseudo-intellectuals.
My point is that there was a hypothetical future viable for the franchise after TFA, even if the chances of it amounting to much before going into a talespin were slim, and that a halfway competent director writer combo could have wrapped up the sequel trilogy in a way to kick the can of franchise stagnation and collapse down the road a while longer.

After TLJ there was absolutely zero fucking hope of any kind of future beyond strip mining the OT and eventually the PT for membaberries, even if disney magically got all the absolute best people in the industry involved from then on because of how existentially it fucked up the sequel trilogy in particular, and the franchise as a whole by poisoning the PT/OT setting retroactively by having the inevitable conclusion for this era be the now abortive sequel trilogy.

The only reasonable way I can understand anyone would find the last Jedi enjoyable is if you are specifically someone that literally has zero love, or attachment for anything about Star Wars before. Hence the reason why some people are being sincere on liking it.
These are the same people who insist TLJ is a masterpiece because of how it "questions" and "deconstructs" Star Wars themes which when pressed for elaboration amount to repeating shit thats been the norm in the franchise since the getgo and presenting it as some shocking new perspective (i.e. a Jedi can have humble origins, even heroes of old can be reduced to exile in the wilderness after some personal failure, the war machines of both bad guys and good guys can be funded by the same malevolent party) or the most contrived bullshit imaginable that is supposedly genius because of how it *drumroll please* subverted expectations.
 
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