Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Few more. The rest was him screaming about Aaron cooking chicken and the usual stuff.

Probation
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He going to fucking argue probation length. What a motherfucking asshole.

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

Well, now that it is settled fact that Nick gave HIS daughter HIS cocaine that HE had sole access to, can we hold a lottery where 150 lucky people get to play piñata with him?

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

He going to fucking argue probation length. What a motherfucking asshole.

This is actually good. Knowing his skills he can only make it worse for himself.

 

[StannisTheMannis]

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It appears that Rekieta is planning to arrive a day early for his new BFF's event in Las Vegas.

From hanging out at Mar-a-Lago with Trump grifter bigwigs to being relegated to a circus clown role in the one community that tolerates him (0% due to his personality, 100% due to the guy who he allowed to fuck his wife), the Dabbleverse. Oof...

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

This is actually good. Knowing his skills he can only make it worse for himself.

He might talk himself into jail. I know, Minnesota, but I can dream.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

He had his lawyer beg for permission to go to Patrick Melton's event in Vegas. Unbelievable.
How is this the most important thing on his mind?



However, since Rekieta seems to think his travel will be May 8 and 9, but the event itself is May 9-11, it appears Melton's plan is to roll out his circus freak act Nick Rekieta the drug-addicted cuckold on day 1 and send him back off to Minnesota before day 2.



It's a Friday-Monday event and Rekieta will be gone by Friday night!

"Some of your favorite hacks from The Dabbleverse and beyond." I don't even think Rekieta is part of the "and beyond" anymore.



It also appears that Rekieta got tired of the Barneswalker because it's the other guy at the latest hearing.

 

[ChromaQuack]

This is actually good. Knowing his skills he can only make it worse for himself.

: Good news everyone, I got off most of my charges with just 35 years of probation! I'm sure I can quit the 527 different substances I was high off whenever I want! I'm not a junkie!

 

[Desktop User2]

He had his lawyer beg for permission to go to Patrick Melton's event in Vegas. Unbelievable.

"Your honor, could we move along this shit so my client can go chasing pre-pubescent bussy with a fat homosexual pedophile?"

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

: Good news everyone, I got off most of my charges with just 35 years of probation! I'm sure I can quit the 527 different substances I was high off whenever I want! I'm not a junkie!

Actually, Your Honor, I didn't do anything wrong, so by this logic...
Are you saying you are not guilty, Mr. Rekieta?
No, that's not...
Jury trial it is, Mr. Rekieta!

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

>people think Nick isn’t going to jail

It’s a matter of time with Nick. He’s got that unearned superiority without acknowledging he’s a retard like Ralph.

 

[Tiki Bar Man 2]

I'll bet good money we are going to get another CPS call sometime this year. And nick will fail probation. Also love how these documents just prove how much of a spineless pussy nick is and always has been. (and always will)

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

To be fair....do pugs count as dogs? With how fucked their genes are?

 

[Maraschino]

He had his lawyer beg for permission to go to Patrick Melton's event in Vegas. Unbelievable.

I am not a lawyer or legal professional, but is it not an incredibly easy thing to look at Nick, who has admitted he wants to do more drugs, who (in the past) has gone to Vegas and presumably consumed alcohol and cocaine in Vegas, and say, "You are absolutely not going out of state to a place where you used the substances we're not going to allow you to use while you're on probation, you fucking retard"?

Because if I was a judge and I had a defendant plead to possession of cocaine, who has obviously abused multiple substances simultaneously, I wouldn't let him go back to a place where he has done it. It'd look like if they let him go, they were banking on his inability to control himself to fuck himself over.

Actually on second thought, I'm fully supportive of it. Let Nick felt himself again. He hasn't clinched LOTY2025 yet.

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

He might talk himself into jail. I know, Minnesota, but I can dream.

Your honor, have you considered that drugs are awesome? People wouldn't use them if they weren't. The problem is that they are illegal, and the legality has serious consequences.

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

It's a Friday-Monday event

court isn't open on the weekend. he requests the 8th off to fly in and can at book a red eye sunday night to be in time for court monday. Sun County airlines has one that departs at 11:59pm and arrives at 5:15, meaning he can get back home and prepare for court at 9am

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

He had his lawyer beg for permission to go to Patrick Melton's event in Vegas. Unbelievable.
How is this the most important thing on his mind?

They're literally his only "friends", and he fears they won't be friends anymore if he doesnt do the little balldo dance. He's the kid that eats gross shit for attention.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I am not a lawyer or legal professional, but is it not an incredibly easy thing to look at Nick, who has admitted he wants to do more drugs, who (in the past) has gone to Vegas and presumably consumed alcohol and cocaine in Vegas, and say, "You are absolutely not going out of state to a place where you used the substances we're not going to allow you to use while you're on probation, you fucking retard"?

Because if I was a judge and I had a defendant plead to possession of cocaine, who has obviously abused multiple substances simultaneously, I wouldn't let him go back to a place where he has done it. It'd look like if they let him go, they were banking on his inability to control himself to fuck himself over.

Actually on second thought, I'm fully supportive of it. Let Nick felt himself again. He hasn't clinched LOTY2025 yet.

If it isn't already abundantly clear, courts are loathe to restrict much of anything unless and until a criminal demonstrates that they are irredeemably incapable of self-management.

Sure, any normal person would make a point of not going places or saying or doing things that could in any way potentially undermine the gift the judiciary has given them. But we are not dealing with normal (and I don't mean that in a good way) with Nick.

But also know that Nick is not Ethan Ralph. Nick will skate for a long time, if not forever, being an unrepentant-but-just-this-side-of-the-line twit.

He won't disastrously fuck up for awhile.

He'll get his damn CLE done...eventually...and the renewal costs paid - and then it's just remembering to pay his $300 each year; he doesn't have to report CLE again until EOY 2027.

He will get back access to (assuming he ever lost it, which is not at all sure) a literal fortune at least somewhat available in the present and guaranteed in the future, that allows him to continue to fail to support his family on his own steam but pretend he does.

He'll gain back suckers (looking at you, Nate...[already, jfc!]) and do just enough to look okay and coast there long enough to exit court jurisdiction (i.e., won't get caught violating probation, at least not meaningfully enough to have it rescinded).

He'll find some angle that gives some people just enough comfort and satisfaction and over-invested hope to rethink their dismissal of him, and he'll grab new fans, with the help of forgiving youtubers/ lawtubers who see him as a potential boost for themselves.

He'll continue to suck as a father, husband, and person, but once back in the saddle, he'll capitalize on his domestic power (meaning the influence he has as a father and husband, and the power to give and take away support for them) such that none of them will disavow him. In all likelihood, his domestic sphere will continue to try to gain favor with him.

And assuming he's not a serial cheater/April was an anomaly, he will unlikely stray [much] that way again...at least for awhile. (April specifically, and any other woman who might come along, should know that there is NO chance he will ever choose her, unless it somehow benefits him more to do so than not...and romance/love will never trump his need for approval or for public esteem and approbation).

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

He going to fucking argue probation length. What a motherfucking asshole.

Apparently Judge Wentzell tends to be pretty strict with drug cases. If Nick gets anything less than a year of probation with barely any conditions after how generous the government has already been, even for a first time drug offence, then we know Bob and Celeste made a generous donation to Judge Wentzell's youth hockey team, and there is nothing that will convince me to believe otherwise.

 

[Niggernerd]

They're literally his only "friends", and he fears they won't be friends anymore if he doesnt do the little balldo dance. He's the kid that eats gross shit for attention.

Nick wishes he was cool like Dale Gribble.

 

[LemonParty]

Yeah, me having to tell Monty and then everyone I was wrong is such a "bitch move." It's not that I realized I was wrong and that was unfair to make such a claim against someone, nope it can't be that in the Rekieta calculus.....only bitches apologize

Tells you a lot that he sees apologizing as being a bitch.

Holy shit your right. Nick isn't just Ralphmale 2.0 but Ralphamale 4.5.03

Thinking you're better and-smarter than everyone else in the room-is the litmus test for actually being a retarded sociopath.

Cheers Nick! You're smarter than me but you're wrong about one thing. Vodka is better than whisky.