Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

All true lolcows inevitably challenge people they're beefing with to boxing matches
His beef with Knoxville and Spike Jonez is retarded, because they weren't even the ones to come up with the conditions that Bam had to obide by to be in Jackass 4, it was the Paramount executives.

And by observing Bam's behavior after he's "sipped on a few beers", the conditions they put on him were more than warranted.
 
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His knockles are fucked up...
Lol. This guy is so funny. I’ve posted this before, but I really do admire his moxie to fight everyone when it is clearly evident that the only person he can hurt is himself.

Yes, the damage on his knuckles is that of someone who has repeatedly, and poorly, struck a hard surface. Likely drywall. Were it something like brick which generally has a more abrasive surface, you’d see more scratching around the general area.

The funniest part is the cut on his index finger. You’re only getting a cut like that if you’re batting at something. Imagine that anime paw pose, I think that’s what’s it’s called. Doing that to a wall isn’t smart.

Where was his wrangler when this was going on?
 
He's approaching 50 and he's still THIS mentally stunted. He speaks the same way as the 20 something CKY retard he started out as.

And what's with the scabs on his hands?
That’s what abusing substances does it’s the same with bossman telling dudes he’s going to fuck their Moms like he’s 14. It ruins brain development.
 
This was posted at 2AM which all but confirms this was a post-bar coke party idea:
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We all know Bam is retarded but even most high school kids can tell you that the federal government will be on your ass if you're selling THC gummies on the internet.
In fact, the disabled comments tells me he knows this.
 
What do you expect from a guy who filmed a sex tape, said the n word in it, and only won his lawsuit because a billionaire desperate for revenge against Gawker? Hulk Hogan is a man who will never do wrong because he believes he’s never wrong, thanks to Peter Thiel.
hogan didn’t film it it was bubba the love sponge radio shawk jock who was buddies with Terry.
This was posted at 2AM which all but confirms this was a post-bar coke party idea:
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We all know Bam is retarded but even most high school kids can tell you that the federal government will be on your ass if you're selling THC gummies on the internet
Probably delta-8. There’s a loophole with the farm bill. Funny enough Oregon which is a marijuana haven actually bans delta-8 because the safety profile is much less known compared to good old delta-9 marijuana.
 
hogan didn’t film it it was bubba the love sponge radio shawk jock who was buddies with Terry.

Probably delta-8. There’s a loophole with the farm bill. Funny enough Oregon which is a marijuana haven actually bans delta-8 because the safety profile is much less known compared to good old delta-9 marijuana.
even the htmls label them as all delta-9 so maybe hes just retarded
 
lol did he really name one of his weed gummies after his car that he had to sell because he ran out of money? What a fag. For both naming weed gummies after a car he no longer owns, and because he's trying to make yet another "me too!!" weed gummy, as if we need any more "YEAH DAWG WHOAAAH WEEED GUMMIES!" weed gummies.

ETA - I kinda wish Bam had owned a Ferrari instead so that way Ferrari would be immediately suing his ass right now.
 
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Another Bam store leak:
$700 BAM BONGS FROM THE GUY WHO DOGGED ON WEED AND STONERS FOR OVER 2 DECADES:

Bam Margera GlassWater Pipe LimitedEdition (1 of 100) +Chance to MeetBam!​

$699.99

BAM MARGERA GLASS WATER PIPE BY ENJOY & PROSPER​

Limited to 100 Individually Numbered Pieces| Hand-Carved 15-Inch Masterpiece
This exclusive 15-inch hand-carved water pipe marks a special collaboration between legendary skateboarder and cultural icon Bam Margera and Enjoy & Prosper. With only 100 being made, each water pipe is individually numbered, making it a true collector’s item that blends iconic design with exceptional functionality.
KEY FEATURES:
• Hand-Carved Heartagram: The iconic heartagram, a symbol of Bam’s legacy, is intricately hand-carved into the glass, turning this water pipe into a work of art worthy of display.
• 24K Gold Bam Margera Autograph: Bam’s signature is preserved in genuine 24K gold, adding luxury and authenticity to this one-of-a-kind collaboration.
• Dual Hand-Carved Percolation System:Two precisely hand-carved percs ensure top-tier filtration and diffusion, delivering exceptionally smooth hits while showcasing artistic detail. Featuring two carved stars and multiple faceted edges.
• Individually Numbered: Each piece is numbered out of 100, guaranteeing its rarity and status as a collectible.
• 18mm Joint: Designed for stability and compatibility, the 18mm joint ensures a perfect seal for daily use.
• Borosilicate Glass Construction: Built with durable, heat-resistant borosilicate glass, this piece is crafted to last while highlighting its stunning design.
• Signed and Dated Bam Margera Poster: Each purchase includes an exclusive, signed and dated Bam Margera poster, personalized with your name, making this package even more valuable for collectors and fans.
PRE-ORDER & PROCESSING TIMES:
This is a limited pre-order, giving collectors the rare chance to own a piece of Bam Margera’s legacy. Each water pipe is handcrafted and paired with an exclusive, personalized poster signed by Bam himself. To ensure exclusivity and perfection, please allow up to 45 days from purchase for your order to ship. Every step, from crafting the water pipe to finalizing the signed poster, is handled with care and precision by Alexander at Enjoy & Prosper. Your patience guarantees a one-of-a-kind treasure worth the wait.
This limited-edition piece is more than a functional water pipe—it’s a symbol of artistic collaboration and rebellious spirit, merging Bam Margera’s iconic brand with the skilled hand-carving techniques of Enjoy & Prosper. Whether displayed as a collector’s centerpiece or enjoyed daily, its design promises a balance of beauty and performance.
Handmade in Doylestown, Pennsylvania, by Alexander Uritsky, a master glassblower working independently under the Enjoy & Prosper brand, this water pipe is the result of years of dedication, precision, and passion. As a one-man operation, Alexander personally designs, carves, and crafts each piece, ensuring that every detail reflects the highest level of craftsmanship. Each water pipe tells its own story, blending resilience, creativity, and a deep commitment to meaningful art.
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The Golden Ticket — A Chance to Meet Bam Margera​

Hidden inside one of the 100 water pipes is a golden ticket that grants the lucky owner an opportunity to meet Bam Margera in person! This once-in-a-lifetime experience will include details printed on the golden ticket, making the anticipation of unboxing your piece even more exciting. Will you be the one who finds it?
 
Lol. This guy is so funny. I’ve posted this before, but I really do admire his moxie to fight everyone when it is clearly evident that the only person he can hurt is himself.

Exactly. Honestly, and it's fucking stupid to even think about, Knoxville would probably fuck him up. Maybe that'd be for the best. It's hard to say.
 
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