For what it's worth, I believe everything Becky's said about Amber's behaviour. Sure, there might be a few exaggerations, but I don't think they really change the story and overall I think this is what really happened between the two of them. And I believe that because all of these behaviours are things that Amber's either admitted to already, or are similar to things her audience has witnessed over the years. And I really don't think that Becky did some sort of crazy deep-dive on Amber lore to construct complete fabrications that connect with these small details that have been observed in order to create false allegations.
The lint-picking thing to me is similar to how Casey talked about (and Amber admitted in Facebook posts) how Casey had to frequently massage Amber's unwashed, filthy, stinky feet. Amber talked about Jade rubbing and kissing her disgusting scabby and leaky legs. I think Destiny talked about having to do care on Amber's leaky legs as well (but I'm not entirely certain about that one). Amber has already admitted to setting timers. Amber has already admitted multiple times to wanting her gorlfriends to be her total existence (and for Amber to be their total existence). She agreed when Becky pointed it out during the breakup livestreams, and Amber has recently started using BPD as the reason. Amber has already shown us the "choosy" game when she's trying to select a new journal to write in. It's not a stretch to imagine Amber trying to waste as much of Becky's time (and tie up Becky's two functioning brain cells) with this nonsense in order to wear her down and make her less resistant to being controlled. It's a common abuser tactic, and is performed instinctually by low-intelligence abusers. (Time wasting activities are common, not the choosey game; that shit's beyond weird).
Narcissistic abuse is especially insidious and people struggle to understand it unless they've experienced it, or have tried to help/treat individuals who have been broken down by it and learn to recognize the patterns. A lot of therapists even fail to recognize the dynamic when watching it in action during couple's counseling sessions. And Eric and Rickie were also shitbag friends because even after Becky left Amber, they still chose to be Amber's friends over Becky despite witnessing all of the shit Amber did (probably for the free meals). Becky didn't have any real support in the gaycare. And why would Destiny warn Becky about Amber? Destiny didn't want Amber trying to latch back onto her and Dana - she only wanted Amber's money. I think it was a Jordy stream where Amber was compared to a curse. The only way to get rid of the curse is to pass it to another. It was passed to Becky and they wanted it to stay with Becky. And although Becky's family wanted her to leave Amber, they didn't seem to want it enough that they were willing to take her in (has her past behaviour burned bridges with them?), so she didn't really have anyone to help her out of the fog.
THAT BEING SAID...
The part that's disturbing me about this is how despite years of separation and "therapy", Becky's trying to remove any personal responsibility from this and is just Eeyore-ing it into some sort of "look at how horribly I was abused" for coin. I'm not saying that people deserve to be abused (not even Becky - NOT EVEN AMBER), but let's be real: abusers exist, they prey on weakened people, and if you don't get your shit together you'll just find yourself running from one abusive relationship face-first into another. It seems like Amber was the most degrading with Becky, but a lot of that had to do with how big of a pushover Becky was. Like all controlling abusers, Amber kept seeing how far she could push her control and humiliation. Almost all of the other GFs shut that shit down quickly. Destiny walked out the door and left Amber
lidurally (figuratively) sitting in her own piss and shit. When Amber tried to get violent with Jade, Amber got bitch-slapped and left to roll around on the floor like a flipped turtle (according to Lex Loser). When Amber tried to plant herself at Chez Emily to begin her campaign of complete control, Ambo got stuffed into a rented van and driven back to OKC for Kristine to deal with.
And there's just a lack of consistency with some stuff Becky's saying. Becky claims that Amber has the attention span of a goldfish and can't focus on anything for more than a short period of time.... but would hold Becky's attention with thousands of rounds of "choosy" that would last for DAYS?! Becky keeps insisting that she has no memories of that year where she was in renal failure and shuffling around like a zombie... But despite "not remembering", she DOES REMEMBER that Twinkie wasn't shaking in pain because Becky would have ABSOLUTELY driven her to the vet if she was. And despite "not remembering", she DOES REMEMBER driving when she shouldn't have and remembers making that choice... but Becky didn't really make that choice because Amber FORCED HER. No personal responsibility - which is crucial to stopping the cycle. Otherwise, Becky will just end up with another Amber and will continue to cosign the shitty treatment of others and destroy herself while engaging in behaviours that are potentially dangerous to others. For example, despite being out of Amber's clutches for years, Becky's still a menace behind the steering wheel.
It's like, COME ON, BECKY! I don't really care that you've claimed to have recognized the red flags early on... The important part of all of this is coming clean about
*WHY* you told yourself to IGNORE all the flags you
immediately saw in a person that you just met, that you only wanted to be friends with, and that you knew was facing criticism from her audience?
- WHY on THE VERY FIRST TIME YOU WENT TO VISIT AMBER and you saw that she converted the spare bedroom of her apartment into a TOILET for her pets (and maybe her, I dunno), why did you STILL DECIDE that Amber was girlfriend material? (Becky STAYED FOR THE WEEKEND after seeing that and then cooked Amber biscuits and chocolate gravy for breakfast).
- WHY did you move someone into your home that you didn't know at all? (And apparently you NEVER knew her, because you can't even really answer anything about her now).
- WHY - If you only wanted a friendship with Amber - did you accept her treatment telling you that she didn't want you as a friend, and if you didn't agree to being her GF (and letting her move in with you), she was going to cut contact with you and pick one of the many others she had waiting?
- WHY did you ALMOST IMMEDIATELY quit your job to become financially dependent on her when you wanted to "take things slow"?
- WHY did you tell lie after lie after lie to back up Amber's shit, when you acknowledge you could see how absurd her lies were?
- WHY did you tell the internet that your mother was mentally ill and in the wrong re: the voicemails with Amber, but are now trying to shame Anne Doran for continuing to talk about your mother on the internet (when she never made any damaging comments about your mother)?
Also Becky, what do you have to say about the neglect of the pets you loved so much that happened ON YOUR WATCH? About the massive bowls of stale, multiple weeks-old kibble the cats had to eat because both of you were too lazy to refill the bowls daily? About Wasabi being so badly matted that he needed to be shaved (according to Rafe)? What about Twinkie's over-grown nails that could have been solved with a $10 pet clipper? (Even if badly overgrown and the quik has lengthened, you can do multiple, tiny trims on dog's nails to gradually push the quik back). You claimed that you stayed with Amber because you felt bad for the pets and knew she was physically unable to care for them... so then why didn't you provide the care they needed while you were staying there to supposedly care for the animals?
And while we're at it... why did you make sexual advances on your barely legal at the time (I think she was about 18 at the time) step-sister at the beginning of your relationship with Amber? And then why did you harass her when she rejected those advancements? Why did you side with Jerry and try to shame your step-sister for not wanting Jerry back in her life after he let Norma kick her out of their home as a teen only because she was gay? (all according to
@FrazzleCakes). "One big happy family" indeed.