Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

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Very interesting use of "they/them" pronouns btw. If his "spouse" was a wife, why not iust say so? Is it a troon? Are you a gay nigga @Pargon?
 
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Agares said:
Last night was awful. Of course she dropped the news when I was halfway through a 6 pack and that inflamed things even more. I'm going to be completely sober today and I'm going to talk things out with a clear mind. She's upset that I called her a whore last night and I'm upset with what she did. If it ends, then it ends.
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As someone who has witnessed alcoholism up close:

You need to dip out of that relationship and work on your addiction, it’s beginning to erode all of your interpersonal relationships in ways that you’re likely not self aware of. I highly doubt your girlfriend is the only person on the receiving end of your addiction.

Alcohol only suppresses emotions in the beginning, then it makes you a hell of a lot more irritable in the long run. Heaven forbid if you have any co-morbid mental disorder, as alcohol will exasperate your symptoms.

You’re not going to be good relationship material if you don’t work on yourself first.
 
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Kiwisee said:
As someone who has witnessed alcoholism up close:

You need to dip out of that relationship and work on your addiction, it’s beginning to erode all of your interpersonal relationships in ways that you’re likely not self aware of. I highly doubt your girlfriend is the only person on the receiving end of your addiction.

Alcohol only suppresses emotions in the beginning, then it makes you a hell of a lot more irritable in the long run. Heaven forbid if you have any co-morbid mental disorder, as alcohol will exasperate your symptoms.

You’re not going to be good relationship material if you don’t work on yourself first.
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The issue was the fucking coke. The number thing wasn't a big deal even though it triggered my caveman mode mate guarding instincts in the moment. No, the real problem I had was the coke binge, her going to dangerous areas and her being a people pleaser. All her friends, both offline and online are suspect now but me and her are on decent terms. A breakup is still on the table but I'm going to handle this as gently and sober as humanly possible.

Somehow the generation gap got brought up. Zoomers may be lonelier and more socially inept than millenials, but we're living in the aftermath of the Tinder hookup era that completely obliterated dating for so many people. Zoomers being more prudish is a good thing and I will die on this hill.
 
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Agares said:
breakup is still on the table but I'm going to handle this as gently and sober as humanly possible.
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I still say you should break up with her.

Two addicts being in a relationship never ends well. I hate to say it, but she’ll drag you down with her and vice versa. It’ll be a never ending cycle of being sober, then binging, then clean again. Each binge cycle is going to get more and more severe until one of you two are staring at the grim reaper in the face.

Breaking up might actually save both of your lives in the long run, so long as you stay focused on the end goal (being sober). A break up could also force her to get back on track as well.
 
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Updating translation software (prototype version 0.2)...
Processing moidese...
Comparing to known dialects...

Processing complete. Displaying results.

The Stranger said:
You wanna pull up the receipts of how many times you told dudes to be gay?
TRANSLATION: "Hello, fair maiden. I wish for you to enlighten me on how to be a homo, for I have realized I have no hope of finding a mate of the Fairer Sex. You, in your feminine wisdom, have recommended this course of action to many men before me. However, in my pride and arrogance I feel ashamed to ask outright, for I hold onto my prejudices against the wiser half of humanity. I must cloak my humble request in the manner of confrontation in this space intended for the Woman, which I intrude in my arrogance, without proper acquiescence and admittance of my follies despite it being a forum thread operating under the assumption of an admittance to my own hubris as a Man. Please, see through my nonsense and elucidate me to the ways of the male cockmonger. I am weary and lost."
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The Stranger said:
You're the one who obsessively brought up sexuality enough for me to notice a pattern.
TRANSLATION: "Wise Hubelublub, you have assisted many hopeless men in their myriad lovequests. I just wanted to express my fulsome appreciation in the only way I know how (by making an ass of myself for your amusement), and I beseech you to write a Yaoi fanfic so I may tickle my meat trombone to get erotic tingles. Your wit and alacrity are second to none, and I know deep in my heart anything I could write for my own appreciation would nary hold a candle to your works, which are the height of literary excellence, modern classics, even to a fault. I beg you, take pity on me and provide erotic satisfaction through the electronic varieties of the written word."
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Estimated Degree of accuracy: (N/A, Unknown [Hot code!]). Please provide feedback to the developer, Core Theorist.

EDIT: typos.
 
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Well... slight update. My ex-boyfriend has quit HRT, de-NEET'ed, and gained a bunch of muscle. I used to be pretty cooked on the internet too and feel strongly that people can change themselves if they try. I've also been talking to my like, respectable older-adult role models and they basically say that mid-20s men are retarded and need time to get their shit in gear.

So... does anyone know how to gauge if someone is actually ready for change? He's been engaging me and I kind of... really want to engage back, but I don't want to be rash.
 
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soup peddler said:
Well... slight update. My ex-boyfriend has quit HRT, de-NEET'ed, and gained a bunch of muscle. I used to be pretty cooked on the internet too and feel strongly that people can change themselves if they try. I've also been talking to my like, respectable older-adult role models and they basically say that mid-20s men are retarded and need time to get their shit in gear.

So... does anyone know how to gauge if someone is actually ready for change? He's been engaging me and I kind of... really want to engage back, but I don't want to be rash.
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He's proven that he doesn't give a shit, this is not a way to live your life. He refused to get his shit together for ages despite knowing that he was hurting you, and only now that you've broken out of it does he feel the need to keep up appearances again and do something with his life? Once you got out of his grasp he suddenly cares enough about decency to rope you back in?

Stay extremely far away, there is no possible result where this ends well. The absolute best outcome of getting back together with this fucking loser is that he goes back to trampling over your welfare for his own pleasure (maybe in a different way, but you can bet he will) and you have to go through all of this again.

The only good course of action is to ignore him and work on learning to maintain your boundaries and not let anyone near you if they don't respect you and care about you without needing consequences for hurting you. Work on that, and only then you'll be able to find someone who actually deserves you.
 
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soup peddler said:
Well... slight update(...)
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Ma'am, if I may interject, he sounds like the type of man where to merely be at an acceptable degree as a life-partner he must be constantly buck-broken. It's your prerogative if you want to be the one doing the buck-breaking, but it's a colossal risk to your livelihood and I don't think those mathematics would work out.

As au lait said, a faggot who's so far up his own ass that he takes the titty skittles and only stops taking them when you leave him, is still a faggot who only corrects himself when actively punished. Be aware that even threatening the punishment didn't work. Now, in his mind, you have already 'accepted' his transition as long as he can pretend to be a man, and now he just has to put the mannish skinsuit back on until you can be lured to accept the same, or even another aspect of his faggotry. You haven't lowered the ceiling of what is considered an acceptable degree of nigger behavior in your relationship with him, you have raised the floor of what he can get away with and you'll still come back to him afterwards.

Your elder role models are still essentially correct, but this is a man who was utterly self-absorbed in zerkin' off to loli anime or whatever the fuck he was doing and wouldn't listen to you. Every treat you give him now is also telling him that everything he did is okay and you will never really correct him or mean anything you say because you love him. As you return to familiarity, remember that familiarity breeds contempt and in that aspect it will only get worse. He's on his best behavior now and it won't last.
 
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Thé au lait said:
He refused to get his shit together for ages despite knowing that he was hurting you
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Core Theorist said:
He's on his best behavior now and it won't last.
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...Yeah. And this is cursed, but I know one of his porn account usernames, and I just checked now, and he was on it this week, and lists himself as "female". I don't think there's going to be a redemption arc here. What a fucking shame, he's so funny and handsome.

I remember when I was a kid, I was so excited to grow up and get to date people and fall in love.... :optimistic:

Gay shit Earth.
 
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