This vicarious secondhand shame I've learnt about myself in my obsessively thorough introspective comparison-and-contrast analysis between Andrew Dobson and Chris-Chan that which descends beneath my own artistic passion and demeanor, calling into question my father's parenting style, lessons, and demeanor he and his side of the family has instilled within me in contrast to the warm, compassionate, forgiving tones my mother would refer to me in, and how such a dysfunctionally polarized, yet hilariously unstable "good cop/bad cop" family dynamic drastically affected my ability to learn. From the sheer dunning-krugerism that Andrew Dobson's mentality espouses, down to the ingrained persecution and inferiority complex he has to deny himself his own potential and talent for favor of his own methodology which he prides himself on, despite overwhelming external rebukement, frustration, and scorn from the outside.
My father's perfectionist scorn berating me like a mentally disabled, inattentive, hyperactive retard, how his sisters would always tentatively tell him off with baby gloves, yet backing him up were I to ever challenge him, his violent, emotionally temperamental, petulant temper tantrums for not being exact and precise as he says constantly coloring and clouding my judgement and self-image to force me to constantly evaluate myself as a person; not just in spite of his obtuse, close minded, pharisaical judgement, but in Nietzschean wariness of winding up just like him in all of the wrong ways. Andrew Dobson is a rather sobering reminder of my worst qualities and how much "shadow work" I needed to undergo in order to ensure that I make the most of the discipline and potential I've been given whilst honoring and retaining the warmth, compassion, empathy and time others have invested into me through gratitude, however shoddily and insufficiently I display it.
Nor shall I forget to be patient and compassionate with others, despite their degeneracy, autism, nor cringe. I must overcome my own inner Dobson to rescue my drawfagging spirit.
