The Horrors of the "Professional" World - Stories that will make you wonder how we exist.

[NQ 952]

Client: "why can't we hear any audio on the webcast?"

> I go to check things out

Me: "Are you sending audio right now?"

> 4 seconds of silence

Client: "Oh."

 

[lolwut]

The only real horrors I have at my current job is scrotum mold, so.

You can't just breeze past THAT without explaining.

 

[XYZpdq]

So I called and called and couldn't get through and it was one of those... 25-30s? 'Millenniums'? And then I texted them and they responded?!

 

[Yaks]

You can't just breeze past THAT without explaining.

lol

I'm currently working as a mortician. Some bodies come in clean, others not so much.

 

[neverendingmidi]

I work with large scale power units. Manufacturing and testing basically. My most hated thing is when they heal themselves. Like we had a unit that was making this bizarre thumping noise from an area that normally would indicate something is about to explode if it continues. Unit was torn apart and reassembled over and over for a week, no change. Boss says, fuck it, continue on and load the sucker up. We're talking over 600KVA of power.

Unit worked fine. Sound went away and we never could get it to reoccur.

I occasionally think in pity of the poor service bastard who's going to be resposible for that one.

 

[AnOminous]

I work with large scale power units. Manufacturing and testing basically. My most hated thing is when they heal themselves. Like we had a unit that was making this bizarre thumping noise from an area that normally would indicate something is about to explode if it continues. Unit was torn apart and reassembled over and over for a week, no change. Boss says, fuck it, continue on and load the sucker up. We're talking over 600KVA of power.

Unit worked fine. Sound went away and we never could get it to reoccur.

I occasionally think in pity of the poor service bastard who's going to be resposible for that one.

I've dealt with intermittent failures like this from time to time. Shit just stops working, then randomly starts working again. And you can't get it to do that same thing again. Until you leave. Then the motherfucker breaks again. And hours and hours are spent on it, until it suddenly fixes itself again. It obviously is a piece of shit. It needs to be replaced. But it won't be replaced until the flaw is either reproducible, or becomes permanent.

Somehow.

Let's just say I know where some bodies are buried.

 

[NQ 952]

Nothing in particular to tell today other than I'll have worked 82 hours this week.

 

[King]

I don't know if being a farm hand would fit in here, but fuck it. One of the main things in the Tennessee Walking Horse Industry is that that a lot of the farm owners like to hire illegals, so they can pay them basically nothing. There was one farm in particular I worked at where I was the only white guy and person besides the boss that could speak proper English. I of course would clean out the stalls, feed, water, do everyday farm up keep like I always have done. The wetbacks would train the horses, and the fucking Boss would let them do it anyway they saw fit. In other words, they abused the horses horribly every time they didn't do what they were "being trained to". They would be punched, slap, constantly hit with a whip (You are NOT suppose to do that by official standards, if you are found out to be doing that. You can have the horses immediately seized and you will be put on a offenders list as well as fined tremendously).

After four months of working at this place, I was so sick of watching the animals get hurt day in and day out. However, one day which is the day I quit and called the authorities for everything, the abuse, the illegals, the poor condition of the animals, was a day I won't forget. The one Mexican I knew who got his jollies off of hurting the horses had decided he wanted to bash one the young colts in the head with a hammer thinking it wouldn't do too much damage, it killed the poor thing and he found it all the more funny. I called the cops and had help contacting people to have the illegals deported, and I found a new job within three days.

If you have a farm or ranch, do NOT hire illegals and always make sure you know who and what you're hiring.

 

[Ravelord]

To give you an idea of the type of stupid I dealt with at the last place, the back wall of each bathroom stall had a sign that said "Please flush after each use."

I have this work schoolarship as the IT guy for a computer room in the Education/History faculty (alongside helping professors anytime they have any problem). The bathrooms have that sign too. On every stall.

I also got from the previous worker(s) some nice "gems" like a deactivated time freeze on the printer computer which basically translated into getting a virus that concealed the files on a flash drive (that some students got from a stationary because the owner was pretty old and not too good with computers), or a pc on a classroom that didn't have the freeze at all.

At least the shift is flexible and we can change it if needed. And fridays afternoon no one usually comes here so I can just do whatever.

 

[Goofy Logic]

When I was doing a IT work placement I was told that years ago a tech had noticed this old computer that was unplugged, so he powered it up and hooked it to the network.

It turned out it was an old NT domain server that proceeded to try and do its job on their unsuspecting network. They were offline for over a week and had to rebuild the active directory from scratch.

 

[XYZpdq]

so he powered it up and hooked it to the network.

Does he check if things are spicy by sticking them in his eye, too?

 

[yasscat]

So, back when I was in undergrad, I worked at the university's IT help desk, for a work study job. It was generally pretty chill and I liked working there a lot--it usually wasn't too busy aside from like the first two weeks of every semester, midterms, and finals, so I got to do around 95% of my classwork done at work.

But oh boy, do I have a gem of a story. My old boss actually mentioned it when I was at the help desk to drop something off and I died inside, because I thought I had repressed the memory.

Picture, if you will, sophomore or junior year Blake Bumbleby. This is my second or third semester working there, and things were good. I would antagonize one of the actual IT employees endlessly, he would shout racial slurs at me, it was fun.

Until the laptop.

Now, my university has two IT help desks. One for faculty and staff, and one for students. I worked at the staff/faculty desk. We would occasionally be able to help students with their problems, but more often than not, we would send students to the student help desk. This is important, because this issue really should have been dealt with by the student desk, but she came to my office and asked for help.

This girl, I think she was a freshman...brings her laptop into the help desk office and I immediately notice that there's liquid dripping from it. Bad news bears. Before my boss or anybody else could say a word, she said (in the most stereotypical valley-girl voice ever), in these exact words:

"Uhhhh yeah, I spilled bong water on my laptop, then I put it in the sink so the water could get rid of the smell, but now it won't turn on. Can you guys fix it?"

I realize that this is going to be a shitshow, so I tell my boss I'm going on my lunch break and just NOPE the fuck out of there. A half hour later, when I'm back from lunch, stupid girl is still there, fighting with the help desk supervisor because we couldn't help her.

To this day, this is still probably one of the most memorable thing to ever happen to me at any job.

 

[Picklechu]

I had an interview for a full-time job on Wednesday. I was made an offer on Friday afternoon. The hours are shit, the location is shit, the commute is shit, the work itself--compared to what I do now--is shit and takes more effort, and, with how little they're offering, I'd earn roughly the same amount that I do now. I legitimately thought that they were joking or misspoke when they told me the hourly rate.

 

[Marvin]

The only real horrors I have at my current job is scrotum mold, so.

@Connor Bible?

 

[BrunoMattei]

I don't know if being a farm hand would fit in here, but fuck it. One of the main things in the Tennessee Walking Horse Industry is that that a lot of the farm owners like to hire illegals, so they can pay them basically nothing. There was one farm in particular I worked at where I was the only white guy and person besides the boss that could speak proper English. I of course would clean out the stalls, feed, water, do everyday farm up keep like I always have done. The wetbacks would train the horses, and the fucking Boss would let them do it anyway they saw fit. In other words, they abused the horses horribly every time they didn't do what they were "being trained to". They would be punched, slap, constantly hit with a whip (You are NOT suppose to do that by official standards, if you are found out to be doing that. You can have the horses immediately seized and you will be put on a offenders list as well as fined tremendously).

After four months of working at this place, I was so sick of watching the animals get hurt day in and day out. However, one day which is the day I quit and called the authorities for everything, the abuse, the illegals, the poor condition of the animals, was a day I won't forget. The one Mexican I knew who got his jollies off of hurting the horses had decided he wanted to bash one the young colts in the head with a hammer thinking it wouldn't do too much damage, it killed the poor thing and he found it all the more funny. I called the cops and had help contacting people to have the illegals deported, and I found a new job within three days.

If you have a farm or ranch, do NOT hire illegals and always make sure you know who and what you're hiring.

Thank god Trump got in.

 

[NQ 952]

Monitoring a client stream, it's some autism awareness thing. They're having autistic kids come up and describe what living with autism is like.

Kid: "it's like not being able to see!"
Moderator: "no, Tommy, remember, that's blind."

 

[Cato]

Some of my subordinates bailed from work one shift without completing proper closing procedures, claiming that they were unable to complete them because they were frightened by a ghost.

When told that disciplinary action could ensue because they failed to adhere to the procedures, one of them accused me and the rest of the management team of not caring about workplace safety because we did not accept her excuse that she feared for her safety and needed to flee from a ghost. She resigned, filed a complaint with the Workers' Compensation Board, and provided both the WCB and us an angry rant letter that explicitly referred to there having been a ghost.

Part of me was extremely annoyed at myself for hiring such an idiot, part of me was happy she was at least stupid enough to put that in the letter.

 

[XYZpdq]

Some of my subordinates bailed from work one shift without completing proper closing procedures, claiming that they were unable to complete them because they were frightened by a ghost.

When told that disciplinary action could ensue because they failed to adhere to the procedures, one of them accused me and the rest of the management team of not caring about workplace safety because we did not accept her excuse that she feared for her safety and needed to flee from a ghost. She resigned, filed a complaint with the Workers' Compensation Board, and provided both the WCB and us an angry rant letter that explicitly referred to there having been a ghost.

Part of me was extremely annoyed at myself for hiring such an idiot, part of me was happy she was at least stupid enough to put that in the letter.

And exactly what steps are you taking about the ghost?

 

[Cato]

And exactly what steps are you taking about the ghost?

Another manager (not me because I wouldn't dignify this with an investigation) literally reviewed surveillance footage and determined there was no evidence of a ghost. I'm not joking. I wish I was.

Of course, this did not satisfy the ex-employee because according to them the supernatural isn't subject to ordinary rules of evidence.

 

[XYZpdq]

Another manager (not me because I wouldn't dignify this with an investigation) literally reviewed surveillance footage and determined there was no evidence of a ghost. I'm not joking. I wish I was.

Of course, this did not satisfy the ex-employee because according to them the supernatural isn't subject to ordinary rules of evidence.

You need to set up audio recordings to look for evp.