Containment Random Chris Updates

[King Metalia]

Add any word to blank bit and it'd still be correct.

Chris's taste in woman in not unremarkable it is perverse and creepy as fuck.

 

[Del Boy]

Chris's taste in woman in not unremarkable it is perverse and creepy as fuck.

I mean the fact he went for his nearly 80 year old mother even if it was out of desperation is in and of itself unremarkable imo (even if you take all the other issues of what he did to her)

 

[Debbie Macomber]

there were many who said they'd be surprised if Chris made it to 40.

He was taking Lipitor at 27, and I doubt he's gotten any healthier over 40

 

[King Kiwi]

"The things everyone does for love and companionship. "

That's interesting.

This might be a clue as to what his life is like right now.

When he updates it's mostly about the shop or some platitude or other about friendship and caring.

Flusher might be a rather demanding person who takes up all his time and is more interested in the shop making money than anything else.

She doesn't seem like someone constricted by a tight schedule or financial needs, so it's possible if she wants Chris's shop to produce a satisfying income.

Flashdance and whoever else is helping them might be producing these plushies and different items with Chris looking very unsatisfied.

Remember when I told him to smile, because he's a trog faced morphodite? Remember how miserable he looked?

Now he says this line at the end with a ridiculously cloying Valentine Snoopy gif.

Combine that with him saying that he keeps his life private now and we might see that Fashionista is a controlling little shrew who only cares about Chris making money and pretended to care about him and take him on these little outings long enough to get money out of him.

Caden is all about money too and Chris was only ever interested in money as allowed him to get toys and shit.

She might be Caden's employee or is just profiting off of him while under the guise of taking the care about him.

No sex that's for sure.

Being into My Little pony doesn't automatically make her an innocent woman child.

 

[D is for Stupid]

That's interesting.

This might be a clue as to what his life is like right now.

When he updates it's mostly about the shop or some platitude or other about friendship and caring.

Flusher might be a rather demanding person who takes up all his time and is more interested in the shop making money than anything else.

She doesn't seem like someone constricted by a tight schedule or financial needs, so it's possible if she wants Chris's shop to produce a satisfying income.

Flashdance and whoever else is helping them might be producing these plushies and different items with Chris looking very unsatisfied.

Remember when I told him to smile, because he's a trog faced morphodite? Remember how miserable he looked?

Now he says this line at the end with a ridiculously cloying Valentine Snoopy gif.

Combine that with him saying that he keeps his life private now and we might see that Fashionista is a controlling little shrew who only cares about Chris making money and pretended to care about him and take him on these little outings long enough to get money out of him.

Caden is all about money too and Chris was only ever interested in money as allowed him to get toys and shit.

She might be Caden's employee or is just profiting off of him while under the guise of taking the care about him.

No sex that's for sure.

Being into My Little pony doesn't automatically make her an innocent woman child.

Damn, you're right, I didn't look into it but it makes sense. I knew cabbage was just there for caden. Maybe it was a friendship at first but cabbage seems to be about wrangling him to work.

And about the medallions being fake, this pic is one from the custom medallion page. Looks like shit and doesn't match his "megastone" bullshit one.

vs

Edit:

I'm starting to believe caden has his team of idiots making most the product now which means Chris isn't making shit. Almost 6000 items sold and for sure Chris isn't getting anything from the sales.


Last Edit:

It looks like to be a key chain. My bad.

 

[Acoustic Virgin]

Flashdance and whoever else is helping them might be producing these plushies and different items with Chris looking very unsatisfied.

Remember when I told him to smile, because he's a trog faced morphodite? Remember how miserable he looked?

That's an interesting point. All Chris ever wanted for the past 20 years was to produce official Sonichu merchandise (Sidenote: Why was he always so obsessed with things being "official?"), and now that he's finally achieved that goal, he looks like he's being held at gunpoint. Why isn't he elated that he finally did it?
Is he depressed because he finally accomplished the one thing he's always wanted and found out that it kind of sucks?

I'm starting to believe caden has his team of idiots making most the product now which means Chris isn't making shit. Almost 6000 items sold and for sure Chris isn't getting anything from the sales.

Sweet damn, that's a lot of sales! I keep hearing people whine about how expensive eggs are or whatever, so who has money to piss away on this garbage? Who even wants a Praetor-produced Sonichu medallion, even if it were free?

 

[SigueSigueSpergnik]

I knew cabbage was just there for caden. Maybe it was a friendship at first but cabbage seems to be about wrangling him to work.

Just curious: what has you suspecting that she's being influenced by Caden?

 

[Rupin]

I'd rather him dull and boring than have him doing more and more bad shit tbh

isn’t that totally agains The point of him being a lolcow?

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Didn't follow the Christory much lately, got bored of it, but I see interesting stuff here.
I suspect Cabell is involved in medallion production, albeit it wouldn't surprise me if Flutter did so too.
As for her being influenced by Caden, he is naturally picky with selecting people that he'll let interact with Chris. As she appears to be his lover, Caden definitely had a lot to say about that.
Besides, Flutter first contacted Chris in jail. Caden appears to have gotten copies of all mail Chris did, as he leaked many of them online. Not Flutter though...so there must have been some cooperation there.

 

[keep em' comin]

maybe back then for chris yeah but now its better that he just mellows out.

isn’t that totally agains The point of him being a lolcow?

 

[King Kiwi]

isn’t that totally agains The point of him being a lolcow?

I think the idea is Chris does classic Chris stuff sans actually harming anyone but himself.

With all outward appearances pointing to our little trogadite selling out and going normie on us, there's just no way of knowing. Again... Outward appearances. The jeans are really selling it. I'm completely convinced he's on the straight and narrow now.

 

[keep em' comin]

I think the idea is Chris does classic Chris stuff sans actually harming anyone but himself.

With all outward appearances pointing to our little trogadite selling out and going normie on us, there's just no way of knowing. Again... Outward appearances. The jeans are really selling it. I'm completely convinced he's on the straight and narrow now.

Exactly, but he's getting old so its better that he just fades into obscurity at this point, granted as long as he isn't harming anyone.

 

[King Kiwi]

Exactly, but he's getting old so its better that he just fades into obscurity at this point, granted as long as he isn't harming anyone.

starting to think you're right.

Once you go from leggings back to blue jeans, well, it's probably over.

Farquad won and married the ogress.

C'est la vie.

 

[D is for Stupid]

Just curious: what has you suspecting that she's being influenced by Caden?

When cabbage was sighted with chris, the Etsy store was updated with more, and new items and the quality of his streams got more complex and better.

It's mostly circumstantial evidence but Chris never "worked on it" unless cabbage was there.

Why would someone spend their time wrangling chris multiple of times and not in a trolling manner? Hence I believe caden is paying or has some influence over cabbage. She could of been a plant all along for all we know and worked with caden since day 1.

 

[knux]

When cabbage was sighted with chris, the Etsy store was updated with more, and new items and the quality of his streams got more complex and better.

It's mostly circumstantial evidence but Chris never "worked on it" unless cabbage was there.

Why would someone spend their time wrangling chris multiple of times and not in a trolling manner? Hence I believe caden is paying or has some influence over cabbage. She could of been a plant all along for all we know and worked with caden since day 1.

Yeah this whole situation has always bugged me, as it's one of those things that just doesn't feel right. Like we're missing something but I don't know what.

When she was first spotted with Chris, I thought she was a handler assigned to him by the government or something as part of his release deal. She gave off the air of a carer of sorts, not a friend or partner. Then we find out he is living in the tardarium care of Caden, so I assumed she is part of the Praetor group. Which makes sense as Chris doesn't like men and won't follow instructions from them. He has always needed a woman to get him to do anything.

Everyone went nuts when they were seen in Finland together, which solved the mystery as to why Chris was learning Finnish online. But I still don't believe that they are a couple. A lot of people have gone with that and Chris describing things like his destined sweetheart etc, but Chris has always been an unreliable narrator due to his ego. She contacted him while he was in jail. People say this means she is some sort of hybristophiliac, but I think it's because Praetor allowed her to reach Chris, unlike most others.

I don't feel there is enough evidence they are a couple and I agree she is there to keep him producing stuff for the store. Flutter flies in, sorts out stuff for the store and makes sure Chris is kept focussed. She has even been heard at the beginning of his livestreams.

The problem being is that this group has Chris under lock and key. While I'm sure him blabbing to Null, as per usual Chris, which got him arrested and jailed also is a factor for Chris not being so revealing as he used to be. They've coached him to keep his mouth shut. This to me is suspicious as he's just selling Sonichu etc merch. Why would people knowing anything compromise the operation? Again, it just makes me wonder if there is more to this.

 

[D is for Stupid]

The problem being is that this group has Chris under lock and key. While I'm sure him blabbing to Null, as per usual Chris, which got him arrested and jailed also is a factor for Chris not being so revealing as he used to be. They've coached him to keep his mouth shut. This to me is suspicious as he's just selling Sonichu etc merch. Why would people knowing anything compromise the operation? Again, it just makes me wonder if there is more to this.

This is also why I think he's on some meds.
He'll get angry and bottle it up then eventually snap and put out an angry post on socials or video, if christory serves me right. On meds he's mellowed out and doesn't lash out. Like he thinks before he speaks when possible confrontation exudes. Like when guys ask for a Pic and says no but those 2 girls got a Pic with him because Chris likes china.

 

[SigueSigueSpergnik]

Yeah this whole situation has always bugged me, as it's one of those things that just doesn't feel right. Like we're missing something but I don't know what.

Largely agreed. One thing:

She contacted him while he was in jail. People say this means she is some sort of hybristophiliac, but I think it's because Praetor allowed her to reach Chris, unlike most others.

Bear in mind that Praetor couldn't control mail that Chris received or sent while he was in jail. After jail, definitely (which may explain the closure of the P.O. Box and request to send mail to 14BC), but there wasn't a ton of control over his life that they could exercise while he was inside.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Bear in mind that Praetor couldn't control mail that Chris received or sent while he was in jail. After jail, definitely (which may explain the closure of the P.O. Box and request to send mail to 14BC), but there wasn't a ton of control over his life that they could exercise while he was inside.

Very true, however Caden could have vouched for her in a letter sent to Chris. I suspect that there were catfishing attempts that Chris was mailed, yet he didn't fall for any, that we know of, except for Flutter. We saw from Caden's event where there were many women present along with Chris, so he might have said Flutter was part of Praetor but lived in Europe.

It just seems strange for Chris to be contacted randomly, then after he gets out of jail, the woman he was talking to turned out to be real. There has to be some sort of connection between Flutter and Praetor.

 

[SigueSigueSpergnik]

Very true, however Caden could have vouched for her in a letter sent to Chris.

Entirely possible. Running wild with speculation, that opens up two plausible scenarios:

• Chris, in his usual can't-STFU-to-save-his-life fashion, mentioned her to Caden after they had been writing letters to each other for a time, and Caden became aware of her that way.
• Fritter's a plant, and Caden directed her to contact Chris in jail.

Having said that, there are obvious problems with both of those ideas, respectively:

• Chris would have lost all control over his communication with Flutter if he gave Caden contact information for her. Given how that was basically what landed him in jail for incest, he may have been reluctant to do so.
• How does any of this benefit Flutter? The only thing I can really think of is potentially speeding up a green card application, but that doesn't feel right.

I just don't know, and every time I post a theory there's a nagging sense in the back of my head of something missing from it. Like there's something there that should be visible, but isn't.

I suspect that there were catfishing attempts that Chris was mailed, yet he didn't fall for any, that we know of, except for Flutter. We saw from Caden's event where there were many women present along with Chris, so he might have said Flutter was part of Praetor but lived in Europe.

It's as good a premise as any.

It just seems strange for Chris to be contacted randomly, then after he gets out of jail, the woman he was talking to turned out to be real. There has to be some sort of connection between Flutter and Praetor.

Agreed. Then again, Chris was finally in an environment where he was largely free of outside influence (including the Internet) for the first time in his life. Sure, there were other people around him, but they weren't enablers. As long as he could slot into a routine and not break any major rules (or piss off other inmates), he was pretty much free to sit around in his cell and do MLP / CPU goddess / Sonichu shit all day long. He could even get junk food at the commissary. This may have got the idea into his head that not opening his yap indiscriminately can lead to doing things he wants to do, relatively free from interference.

Of course, this is Chris we're talking about, so pretty much any possibility is on the table. Like I said, even I'm not 100% convinced of my own theories because there's something missing in all of this - but as for what it is that's missing, I have no idea.

 

[King Kiwi]

Sweet damn, that's a lot of sales! I keep hearing people whine about how expensive eggs are or whatever, so who has money to piss away on this garbage? Who even wants a Praetor-produced Sonichu medallion, even if it were free?

No wonder Flutter wants Chris.