Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Adamska]

Such a huge area to choose from and some truly amazing food from that continent. Jollof rice. Groundnut stew, Peri Peri chicken and sure there's some Portuguese influence there but who the hell cares. It's fucking delicious.

You could do an entire month just based around Ethiopian cuisine, since it borrows so heavily and parallel evolved out of Hindu style traditions due to their strict fasting. It has a nice mixture of vegetable dishes and stews. Since he's still LARPing via just lying retardedly that he only eats meat, they still have options there.

Doro Wat for example is their national dish, and a delicious spicy chicken that will guarantee Tammy won't eat it. Tibs are also nicely sauteed cuts of meat, though usually it's paired with yucky not-meat he can cut from the recipe. Then there's a dish that can be interpreted as sort of like nachos from Oromo cuisine. Hell, it even has raw meat he can eat.

And that's just one fucking country on the entire continent. Others have similar traditions and spices that would guarantee that only Jack can eat it all.

But since he's an insecure Amerimutt with Arab ancestry, he needs to prove how Eyetalian he is and therefore white by rejecting the Dark Continent. The only dark meat he likes is poultry and behind the Arby's Dumpster.

 

[souschef]

 

[Falcon Sebben]

You could do an entire month just based around Ethiopian cuisine, since it borrows so heavily and parallel evolved out of Hindu style traditions due to their strict fasting. It has a nice mixture of vegetable dishes and stews. Since he's still LARPing via just lying retardedly that he only eats meat, they still have options there.

Fatty would never do Ethiopian because the focus is on veggies and the meat is usually in some form of wat or "stew". But they have some amazing food as well. You could do a month on each country in Africa and come up with some great dishes. Of course what I'd love to see is Fatty dressed up in a dashiki while doing so. That would be peak cringe.

 

[Tiresome]

Such a huge area to choose from and some truly amazing food from that continent. Jollof rice

Jollof rice is amazing, and throw some dark meat chicken to braise in it, one of those things so good you feel you could eat just that the rest of your life. Plus it can be spicy as fuck so Jack should love it. Protip, if you find a good Jollof rice seasoning mix, throw it on fried breakfast potatoes. Every tastebud will thank you individually, by handwritten letter.

 

[Marc]

He slavishly follows any recipe while making his own changes to it and but doesn't bother to actually think about what he's doing.

In this respect, Jack the Human Shit Balloon arguably manages to be even worse than Kay: Kay will arbitrarily divert from a recipe and declare that it's "MAH WAY" as a disclaimer immediately prior to producing an abomination. Jack insists on executing the "recipe" from memory, produces something that would make Rob Bottin gag, then half-assedly blames the recipe he didn't follow or even attempt understand in the first place - Every time. Jack's culinary skills are limited to impatiently brute forcing a recipe in ways not even most children or morons would attempt; all so he can have hot slop scalding the roof of his mouth NOW NOW NOW.

On a different note: Does anyone else picture Tammy sniffing her fingers after checking Jack's prostate? Somehow, the pained faces she was making during the fruit pizza tasting made me wonder that. I also imagine her going "Huh" in surprise that her fingers only smell like the Bacon Up he insisted she use.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Does anyone else picture Tammy sniffing her fingers after checking Jack's prostate?

I think you're on your own on that one my dude.

 

[souschef]

You could do an entire month just based around Ethiopian cuisine, since it borrows so heavily and parallel evolved out of Hindu style traditions due to their strict fasting. It has a nice mixture of vegetable dishes and stews. Since he's still LARPing via just lying retardedly that he only eats meat, they still have options there.

Don't give him ideas. The ethiopian people suffer enough without Jack butchering their cuisine.

I'm really surprised he still didn't make a retarded version of my national dishes. If i find out he's fucking up brazillian cuisine i'm flying over there and i'm gonna break his non strokey arm. I'll ask guga to send him a weaponized butter steak.

 

[AltisticRight]

View attachment 6986928

Here's me hoping he finally DIED and they compacted him into scalfatty.zip.
Also, oil your fucking cutting board you lazy fat fuck.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack using RFK to promote his shitty diet



I genuinely wonder who Jack thinks caused 9/11?



Jack is easily impressed by the most basic meme format

 

[souschef]

Jack using RFK to promote his shitty diet

This dude uses all sort of industrialized slop ever in the book and he actually said that he'd prefer using processed spices and vegs over the fresh options because he's lazy. It's a very bold move to post this when you have 5 strokes under your belt.

I'm pretty sure his italian ancestors used montains of high fructose syrup and routinely consumed 5 times their daily sodium intake in one sitting. I'd love his "jack on the go" take place in calabria so i can watch him being shunned by tradition itself

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Jollof rice is amazing, and throw some dark meat chicken to braise in it, one of those things so good you feel you could eat just that the rest of your life. Plus it can be spicy as fuck so Jack should love it. Protip, if you find a good Jollof rice seasoning mix, throw it on fried breakfast potatoes. Every tastebud will thank you individually, by handwritten letter.

View attachment 6987576

Don’t like rice. is filler . Like meet better

 

[biggacracka]

Don’t like rice. is filler . Like meet betterView attachment 6988849

I don't think there's a gayer way to eat sausage unless he was cupping small potatoes like they were balls at the same time

 

[Tiresome]

I don't think there's a gayer way to eat sausage unless he was cupping small potatoes like they were balls at the same time

Let's all keep in mind, by his own admission, he CHOOSES to be straight.

 

[Candidae]

Jack using RFK to promote his shitty diet

Fatty not getting that the average person wasn't gargling bacon grease and deep frying every other meal back then. It's easy to not die of heart disease and eat happy and rich if you remember moderation. And remember that fiber and vegetables in high availability year round is one of the great benefits of modernity that those previously suffered from not having...
The royalty and other rich folk who were eating gluttonously however did enjoy gout, strokes, and heart disease among many other joys. And unlike Jack, they couldn't manage their diabetes and heart disease with pills and other modern interventions.

And this is if we pretend fatty's "whole food" "cooking" is all he eats and his only issue is amounts. And if we pretend the cool whip he loves so much isn't pure hydrogenated crap! For his current fad about seed oils, he always ignores one of the biggest legitimate synthetic fat dangers in his life

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I don't think there's a gayer way to eat sausage unless he was cupping small potatoes like they were balls at the same time

You just know he was staring intently at a man in this shot.

 

[p1138]

Fatty not getting that the average person wasn't gargling bacon grease and deep frying every other meal back then. It's easy to not die of heart disease and eat happy and rich if you remember moderation. And remember that fiber and vegetables in high availability year round is one of the great benefits of modernity that those previously suffered from not having...
The royalty and other rich folk who were eating gluttonously however did enjoy gout, strokes, and heart disease among many other joys. And unlike Jack, they couldn't manage their diabetes and heart disease with pills and other modern interventions.

And this is if we pretend fatty's "whole food" "cooking" is all he eats and his only issue is amounts. And if we pretend the cool whip he loves so much isn't pure hydrogenated crap! For his current fad about seed oils, he always ignores one of the biggest legitimate synthetic fat dangers in his life

Well sure, but that's because Fatty knows nothing about basic nutrition to the point of not having learned anything from when he was in public school, and his "education" pre-dates the USDA food pyramid shit so it can't even be blamed on that(even then he'd still be better off). This grease homunculus really thinks he's living his best life.

You just know he was staring intently at a man in this shot.

Considering neither eye appears to be looking in the direction of the camera, clearly he's staring at a man over Tammy's shoulder.

 

[Maker's Mark]

Don’t like rice. is filler . Like meet better

View attachment 6988849

What an uncivilized way to eat a sausage. I would expect a child to eat it like this. Though Jack is mentally stuck at 10.

 

[LifeAlert]

Jack eats at the Movies: Shifting Gears Review

 

[souschef]

What an uncivilized way to eat a sausage. I would expect a child to eat it like this. Though Jack is mentally stuck at 10.

He can't use both fork and knife, he's crippled and uncivilized

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

The only time it's okay to eat a sausage like that is when you've backpacked them out and your tools for eating are, y'know, the stick you fashioned into a cooking tool.

If you choose to do that at a table with a plate and silverware in front of you, you just might be choosing to be straight.