Disability pride

[CalmMyTits]

I considered putting this in the Disability fetishism thread, but this is different and not about fetishizing disabilities.

This is about people who are proud of their disability, or parents who are proud to have a disabled child. I have a couple of family members or friends on FB who have autistic children, and every once in a while they make/share a post that's all like 'PROUD TO BE THE PARENT OF AN AUTISTIC CHILD' (something I can see Barb latching onto if Chris was born in 2002 instead of 1982) and I've seen people with aspergers or autism say that they are proud to have either disability. I'm acquainted with one deaf woman who has 'Proud to be Deaf' tattooed on her arm. I wish I were kidding.

I find this 'pride' to be ridiculous. No, I'm not saying one should be ashamed. I have a disability of my own, and have friends with disabilities, whether physical or emotional or learning. Having a disability is something we can't help having, and we're not going to feel ashamed for it, but we're not going to feel proud for having a disability either. I also don't see the point of being proud of having a child with disabilities. I'm deaf, and I can not help but cringe when other deaf people talk about being proud of being deaf, and deaf pride.

In my experience, the people who latch onto this 'pride' thing whether they themselves have a disability, or are the parent of a child with a disability, start acting like SJWs and act aggressively in situations that don't call for it because they feel discriminated (when they weren't, or they were actually discriminated against for being an asshole, not because of any disability-related reasons) A coworker of mine who has an autistic son takes the 'proud parent' thing way too far - she claims her son is perfect just the way he is, that she would not change a thing about him (despite certain difficulties he has socially and learning) and that people are OMG SO MEAN for trying to cure autism. (No, I'm not kidding)

What are your thoughts or experiences on/with pride over having a disability or parents of disabled children (or have disabled relatives)

 

[sea panther]

I think it's probably more of a coping mechanism more than anything. You have a mute screeching toddler that makes your life a living hell, you might as well own it. Then it devolves into a sort of cult type deal. I know there's a lot of dissent between deaf and Deaf communities, and people who get hearing implants, and so on, and that seems a bit silly to me - but I'm not a deaf person, so it's nothing I can relate to or have authority on.

I don't understand the people who are against "curing" autism, however. Personally I'd love it if I could get a magic shot that would rid me of my severe anxiety forever.

 

[Axiom]

My friend's fiancee has an autistic daughter and puts it like this: 'I'm proud OF my autistic daughter, for her own merits, but not proud of her autism.' Frankly living with autism, whether your own or someone else's, actually sucks a whole fucking lot. So there's no harm in being proud of or impressed with disabled people and their support network for being so damn tough, but 'disability pride' does seem very weird to me. If nothing else, it reduces a person to their disability alone, which the bulk of disability activists are eager to STOP happening.

I have noticed that the disability pride thing is limited largely to 'invisible' disabilities. Mental illnesses, chiefly. You don't see many people screaming for 'Amputee Pride' or 'Muscular Dystrophy Pride' or 'Elephantitis Pride' or anything else where someone is very obviously, visibly disabled. Just another case of Special Snowflake Syndrome I guess...

 

[FifthColumn]

This does seem to be big with autism, both on the internet and elsewhere.
Another thing that is sort of common, is mothers of severly autistic children saying how much they love having a child with autism, and how they don't wish daughter/son did not have the impairment, and would not "cure" the child, even if they could.

Given how hard it is raising a child with any sort of autism., I believe that opinion is more of a coping mechanism or "putting on a brave face" rather than a sincerely held belief.

 

[FifthColumn]

Not to give false hope, but I have read somewhere, that with intensive speech/ play therapy autistic children can learn to communicate. Just look at Temple Grandin!

Downs Syndrome people are great in my opinion. Too bad in the USA 98% of down syndrome fetuses are aborted .

(Not too controversial to say is it?)

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

I can kind of see the rationale behind a "pride", just because it's better than the alternative, which would be shame. The one that always gets to me is when people refuse to use the word "handicapped". As in, "I'm not handicapped, I'm differently-abled!" or some variation.

Yes, you are handicapped. As in, you have an impairment to accomplishing a certain task. That's the definition of the word, and you fit it. Don't get pissy with me for using plain english.

 

[Colress]

oh dear god what is this. people who are proud of their disability piss me off. and like churchofgodbear said, that whole 'changing words' thing really grinds my godly gears.

i have a few friends with downs and they're actually fantastic. one of my best friends has downs!

 

[Axiom]

Not to give false hope, but I have read somewhere, that with intensive speech/ play therapy autistic children can learn to communicate. Just look at Temple Grandin!

Downs Syndrome people are great in my opinion. Too bad in the USA 98% of down syndrome fetuses are aborted .

(Not too controversial to say is it?)

Depends on the level of autism. Mild to moderate autistics can learn to communicate, even with sign language if they can't speak. But severe autism basically means they almost certainly won't be able to communicate--nonverbal and lacking the motor skills to use sign language. At best they may be able to say a handful of words or use a few signs to communicate extremely basic ideas, like 'food' or 'no' or maybe 'mommy/daddy'. Temple Grandin isn't severely autistic. People who are need to be cared for like toddlers, unfortunately, and no amount of therapy can help them be even pseudo-independent adults.

 

[SPARKLETWAT]

I have a severely autistic nonverbal brother and he is of average intelligence. He communicates by typing on a computer or iPad. He's got a lot of sensory issues and I've said it over 9000 times here that I don't let him get away with shitty behavior. I know when he's being a brat to get out of going somewhere and I know when he's really having a hard time and can't handle going out.

You know what though? I think it's really about confidence. People that know who the fuck they are vs people that flash their disabilities because they think nothing else is interesting about them. Sometimes that's all you see about a person like my brother. He's damn funny when he wants to be. I know how to wind him up and piss him off and it's my job as a big sister to mess with him*. He cracks up if I say the word "penis" and he likes french fries stuffed into his cheeseburgers. He used to kick my ass at Mario Kart on the SNES. People see this autistic nigger flailing at pictures of Transformers and I see my little brother being a dipshit fanboy. /shrug/

Parents with the autistic pride bullshit who think it gives their kids a right to act like assholes are the ones that ruin it for everybody else. Fuck them all. I'm way more understanding to a mom whose kids is melting down and she's trying to soothe/take them out of the situation vs a mom who lets her kid scream and tear shit up because he's expressing himself.


*I don't IRL troll my brother in public. I do shit like hide his paper clip collection or change the channel on him when he's staring at the TV like a retard. He screams and stomps around and I'll fix the TV or put his paper clips back when he's not looking. Turns his tantrums off like a light. It's lulzy. He got wise to the TV thing and sticks the remote in his belt like it's a gun. It's hilarious.

 

[Chikinballs]

I dont think i have ever heard of a black autistic.

 

[BT 075]

Oh they exist, trust me...

 

[CalmMyTits]

It's one thing to tell your autistic or otherwise disabled child you're proud of them when they work hard to accomplish something, especially if it's something that is made more difficult by their disability.

What I was referring to in my OP was pride about the disability itself, not the accomplishments that a disabled person manages to do to overcome their limitations. Like, I just can't understand why someone, like my coworker, would say they're proud just to have an autistic child. All right, like someone else said, it could be a coping mechanism, but that accomplishes nothing, really. So you popped an autistic child out of your twat - whatevs.

Same with deaf people, I can't stand the notion of deaf pride because of my personal experiences with it. Like, why would you be proud just to have a disability in the first place when all it was is something you're usually either born with, or suffered hearing loss from illness? Many of these people who go on about deaf pride also are on SSI and would rather not work because like Chris, they think that if they can get a tugboat, why should they even try to work?

 

[KatsuKitty]

I dont think i have ever heard of a black autistic.

thad mcmichael

 

[Chikinballs]

thad mcmichael

Never heard of him either.

 

[waffle]

His pictures go around on the chans sometimes, midweight to heavy set black dude with glasses who's got like animu body pillows and stuff. Talked about his wifu a lot IIRC. Went to jail for CP.

 

[John Titor]

One of the things that annoy me about "aspie pride" people is how they treat autism like it's some sort of super power. Especially when they keep bringing up famous people who might have autism like Einstein (never proven).

 

[Segue]

I have aspergers syndrome,and its sooo annoying to hear regular people constantly say to me I should be proud of my disability and treat it like I have some sort of advantage over others. No, it doesn't make me smart. It makes me awkward and have a difficult time learning.

Screw aspergers pride, I want a cure damnit.

 

[Chikinballs]

Does nutropics do anything good for asspies or tistics?

 

[Dork Of Ages]

I have a mild form of Pierre Robin Sydrome, that kinda fucked up my auditory development, causing me to only speak when I was 3 years old and I had to undergo a lot of audiologist and pyschologist therapies. I currently use a hearing aid. All of that, along with other factors, made me a very socially awkward and introverted kid.

While I'd rather have a normal development, this is something I have to deal with everyday. I have to overcome my limitations rather than say "RESPECT MY DISABILITY" which is barely a disability.

While parents should not feel ashamed of their kid's disabilites, there's gotta have some incentive from parents and shit to at least try things everyday and so, to develop their children's self and even overcome their limitations, rather than excuse a kid shitty's behavior ( that is different from a behavior of a kid that really needs to express himself in some way, even in ways that appear "retarted" or just plain weird to normal people) because of his autism or whatever. We all saw how well that turned out with Chris.

 

[Dr. Mario]