Diseased Porn Addicts / Gooners / Coomers / /trash/ / 2chen / Sturdychan - Porn addicts that are proud of their degeneracy and want to spread it around the people. This is not a porn debate thread!

Bro really thought he was the Hash Slinging Gooner
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Hunter of Meat Canyon talked about gooners.

The more this gets exposed to the normie Internet, the better. This is a legit problem that's only going to get worse the longer it's left alone.

Also I happened to get a glimpse at the owner of that car with the coomer decals, and of course the dude was scraggly-looking. We need to bring shame back into society.
 
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Kari Kamiya said:
Hunter of Meat Canyon talked about gooners.

The more this gets exposed to the normie Internet, the better. This is a legit problem that's only going to get worse the longer it's left alone.

Also I happened to get a glimpse at the owner of that car with the coomer decals, and of course the dude was scraggly-looking. We need to bring shame back into society.
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Interesting how this video is just him being a grifter faggot (in all senses of the word) crying about Stellar Blade and the ZZZ playerbase and not actually touching upon literal menaces like Giggity Goon Clown or the "welcoming" fanbases (like the Sonic, Genshin, or Roblox communities) full of groomers. They say literally nothing when it comes to gay or subversive shit, and part of that probably has to do with their zoomer broccoli haired fanbase.

Dude's repenting so hard for making that Tom Brady animation and buying that Code Geass figurine. lol.
 
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I first heard of "goon" or "gooner" or "gooning" in its modern definition a few years ago, I guess. But I was suddenly curious about when it started to refer to chronic masturbation or at least when that definition started to become popular.

Urban dictionary has two quite old listings for "goon."
goon urban dictionary.png
In both 2006 and 2011, well a decade before I ever heard the slang, it was already listed as "well-known," though the example in the first entry sounds a little different grammatically from how it's used now. Furthermore, the 2006 entry mentions it's been in use for over a decade by that point. Where was it well known? I figured the best place to find traces of it was on old erotic story websites, which used to be very popular for perverts during the days of dial up.

Literotica is a popular erotic story website and has been for a long time. I remember reading about it in an article about cuckoldry porn in the New Yorker over a decade ago. Surely gooners go there. Incidentally, I had a laugh when I was some popular terms for searching.

literotica popular.png
Why fish?

Searching for "goon" yielded way too many false positives for the original definition of "thug."

But "gooning" showed this as the chronological first appearance on Literotica:

literotica first goonish.png
It's used exactly how it's used today and even intermingled with the sissy fetish. Identical usage 8 years ago, well before I, or most of you, ever heard the term.

Here are the three oldest results for "gooner" on Literotica:

literotica third gooner 2.png

The first is titled "A Gooner's Tale" but actually has nothing to do with jerking it. It's about a 64-year-old queer getting gangbanged/cucked with his wife. Ugh. But clearly its title is in reference to the modern definition. That second story incidentally features Arsenal gooners, which made me laugh. And that third story, from 2018, has the modern definition.

I checked Archive of Our Own and the first story tagged with "gooning" was a 218,658 word Metal Gear Solid erotic fanfic first published in 2018:

gooning big boss.png

And Archive of Our Own's first "gooner" tagged story was from 2021, but I'm too lazy to screencap. Actually, the first 2 "gooner" stories were once again Arsenal football related. :story:

There is a very old gay erotic story website called nifty.org. I think it was originally a splinter of ASSTR and it's so old that the first story was uploaded on May 14, 1988! Surely this will be the deepest dive into "gooning."

Sure enough, these are the oldest results for "gooning" on nifty.org:

goon nifty.png

2005! Finally, I found one story with "gooning" before the 2006 Urban Dictionary entry that called it "well known." Here is the full paragraph of how it's used:

gooning old defintion.png
Here it's referring orgasms one after another during masturbation. Bingo! The oldest "goon" I could find, straight from the guru of the pleasures of the prick, Max. Incidentally, the first "gooner" on nifty.org only appeared in 2016. It took over a decade for someone gooning to be officially a gooner. A linguist would probably be interested in that.

Conclusions:

It seems that "gooning" first left its mark on the Internet in the mid-2000's, probably only in gay erotica spheres and certainly not popular. It would appear here and there in the early 2010's before becoming conflated with sissy fetishism around 2016-2018. But it wasn't until ~2020 where it exploded on the Internet and is now a common word in Internet discourse. I speculate COVID lockdowns were a major contributing factor. Everyone who uses KF knows fetishists of all creeds exploded during that time.

Clearly I couldn't find patient 0 of the "gooning" epidemic. I wonder where it first appeared. I would have guessed it was British, but the 2005 nifty story I found was clearly written using American spelling instead of British so I'm leaning towards "gooning" being originally American.
 
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We also have to admit, goon is a very fun word. It's guttural, it has oomph to it.
GOONing sessions. Destiny is a GOONer who GOONs to feet eight hours a day. GOONclown is after your children. r/GOONcaves. GOONology, the study of GOONing, it's a memetic word that's the reality of the situation here.
 
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Summertime said:
Reviving this thread with lolworthy content:

Man fatally shoots himself after being caught naked from waist down at Arizona coffee shop (Archived)

People gather at the drive-thru where an Arizona man was caught gooning and later died by suicide (Archived)


A man commited suicide after he got caught masturbating/"gooning" at a drive-thru. Footage of the gooner gathering has been posted on Reddit where people can be seen ironically celebrating this sex offender's funeral with signs with phrases such as "GOON BUT NOT FORGOTTEN" written on them. This man had a wife and a child btw.
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So that's where its from. I saw a shadman edit of the video and thought it was funny.
 
A decent chunk of people are probably going to fall into this stuff (not necessarily the EPI) because of the thread.

It's a necessary thread, don't get me wrong, but be careful.

I've seen a lot of posts saying that people had never taken this kind of "destroy your life" fetish-talk seriously until Goonclown. What you have to understand is that gooning isn't just a problem of neurotransmitters; it's deeper than that. The most accurate way to describe it is as a mystical union with Satan. They say as much, even on the clearnet. It's in their poppers hypno videos, pmvs, "gooncaps", etc. Like everything else with initiatory-grooming fetish groups, it's "ironic" until it isn't.

To look at it from another angle, and cut to the quick of it, gooning takes the presuppositions of Western secular nihilism to their logical conclusion. In our society, we don't work towards immortality; we work to become comfortable with our mortality. Therapy is all about programming the patient with narratives that help them reach a particular functional state, rather than address real questions of meaning. It treats the idea of an "afterlife" as a psychological coping mechanism rather than an honest hope. It's a worldview of total cosmic despair, thinly and loosely masked by comfortable fantasies.

If that's the case, then gooning is the shortest path to the same destination: all addictions are suicide installment plans, but this one comes with a pseudo-religious fetish narrative where the suicide is baked-in as the ultimate goal. Why shouldn't a man live and die with his nerves on fire? What's the difference? Why not live energized by the immolation of your own soul?

Gooning forces the question, "Why not?"
And it doesn't let you turn away or avoid answering. What, is it because it "makes you feel bad"? The way you feel can change—will change. How much of your "morality" is just a habit of thought, that you never bothered to find a real foundation for? Are you a "good person", and these guys weren't? They had the "bad guy" gene, maybe? Don't be arrogant—you are not up against a human being.

If you wrap your head around something, you plant its seed in your head. Attention waters it, positive or negative. No man for whom God is only an idea—even if He's an idea that the man pretends very hard to believe in—can survive against the power behind this, especially once it's in his head.
 
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California Newt said:
The most accurate way to describe it is as a mystical union with Satan.
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Turning it into a religious issue is wrong. These people don't masturbate all day because they don't believe in Jesus or go to church every Sunday. They just don't have a job or any purpose, so they've resigned themselves to their fate and decided to spend the rest of their lives indulging themselves.
 
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