Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Chromeo]

I'm sure you mean well, but my femoid advice is to please learn to communicate in a way that is less embarrassing. I don't know if you could have made this post sound anymore cringe if you tried.

AI voiced fake AITA reddit story over minecraft parkour video type post

 

[Holy Lord Phoenix LXII]

Dear Foids,

How impactful do you think the death of “third places” (bowling alley, skating rink, community events, etc.) has been on dating?

Best wishes,
Moids

 

[fist_of_khonshu]

Dear Foids,

How impactful do you think the death of “third places” (bowling alley, skating rink, community events, etc.) has been on dating?

Best wishes,
Moids

I think less access to free third places is a bigger detriment to dating than bowling alleys, skating rinks and so on and so forth. Mainly because you've always had to spend money to get into those places. With Parks, and cafes, you used to not even have to purchase anything to sit down or worry about feeling policed for being over the age of 12 and hanging out at the park.
I think the prioritization of monetary value in a relationship is unhealthy. Especially in an age where more kids are being influenced by social media expectations and echo chambers. We don't need much to truly enjoy time with someone and get to know them. But women on social media have pushed an expectation that is impossible to meet, same with men to an extent, that has caused dating culture to shift into a more superficial category than it already was.

 

[NoReturn]

Dear Foids,

How impactful do you think the death of “third places” (bowling alley, skating rink, community events, etc.) has been on dating?

Best wishes,
Moids

It's been absolutely fucking devastating. There's almost no place left you can go for free that's safe and public and relaxed and normal to hang out in. Everyone is always doing something, or in a rush, or going between point A and point B. It's dreadful.
Online dating itself is horrible. People treat it like online shopping, but for mates. Awful times.

 

[CharcoalChkn]

It's been absolutely fucking devastating. There's almost no place left you can go for free that's safe and public and relaxed and normal to hang out in. Everyone is always doing something, or in a rush, or going between point A and point B. It's dreadful.
Online dating itself is horrible. People treat it like online shopping, but for mates. Awful times.

I met up with some friends over the weekend who I hadn't seen for over 5 years, was definitely hard to find a place we could hang out that didn't involve doing a paid activity or eating.

 

[Hubelublub]

Dear Foids,

How impactful do you think the death of “third places” (bowling alley, skating rink, community events, etc.) has been on dating?

Best wishes,
Moids

Very. It's part and parcel of the death of casual socialising.

Not only can't you take a date to a fun and laid back environment, you aren't even meeting people in these environments either. A date should be a continuation of you getting to know someone better, not the first time you properly interact with them.

Asking out total strangers and dating someone you barely know is the most bizarre aspect of modern society, and so few realise what an aberration it is.

Third spaces were occasions to expand your social group, and reinforce the ties of your current social group, which is how you vet and check potential romantic partners. Trying to date someone you know nothing about is insane, and for most women and some smart men, has them signing out of the charade entirely.

All that's left now is high school, university, and church. If you don't have one of those, good luck, you'll need it.

 

[A Cat in a Minefield]

Asking out total strangers and dating someone you barely know is the most bizarre aspect of modern society, and so few realise what an aberration it is.

I never felt comfortable during those types of dates, lol. What are we supposed to talk about? I think it might work if you get lucky, and do something that makes the whole thing less serious. I will never do a "let's go have a coffe for our first date" date. I'll propose something like climbing or another activity where you are not forced to hold a conversation for long stretches if one or both don't know what to say anymore. If both enjoyed the time you are more comfortable to just talk and see where it takes you.

 

[ThePozzedOutCritic]

There is this artsy girl. She's getting bullied by multiple moids.
As an ally, I tried to defend her but it got me in conflict with the boss. The boss said I should not interfere as I don't know what's going on. But the boss is a bully himself that's why he kept gaslightning me. Can I fix her or encourage her to fight back? She doesn't value herself so she is always with the wrong crowd and neglects well-meaning people. His ex bf was an abuser she told me.
I feel her pain. As you have to be the change you want to see in the world, everyday I thrive to fight toxic masculinity by being not like the other guys, listening and supporting em queens intrinsically, without gradually becoming more passive aggressive for not getting pityfucked, like those dumb soyboy numoids.

as an ally to trans bipoc kweens such as yourself I think the right move would be to cut off your penis

 

[ShiftyBoi]

Happy Christian Love Day, mother romancers!

May you find your boyfriend free girls and lovely heart sweets!

 

[isalaide]

Dear Foids,

How impactful do you think the death of “third places” (bowling alley, skating rink, community events, etc.) has been on dating?

Best wishes,
Moids

Big. The 'traditional' i.e. pre smartphone way of meeting people and getting to know them and indeed meeting people to fancy was via hanging out in groups at these places. That was true for teenagers and also people into their twenties. You went out with your pals, possibly of both genders but possibly just the boys or the lassies, to such a place where there would be other groups of boys and lassies and thus social intercourse occurred.

This appears to no longer happen. It appears to have been replaced by a godawful system of directly contacting one other person at a time for sex. This has a terrible disinhibiting effect as you are no longer expected to act normal in a public place in order to make social connections. So instead of offering to buy someone a drink, it is now common to send people photos of genitals as a conversational icebreaker. This is fucking demented.

It also cuts off the people who are not dating (for whatever reason) from tagging along with the group and having a normal social life even if they do not date at this time. The whole arrangement is fucking bizarre and young people are hanging out on fucking Discord as opposed to going and passing their time in the mall McDonalds. This is bullshit as young people need in-person socialisation to learn how to behave around their own species.

 

[Susanna]

in the mall McDonalds

…Do Americans really go to McDonald's to get laid?

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

Do Americans really go to McDonald's to get laid?

McDonalds is where the finest birds in Glasgow hang out because it's the only place with toilets that aren't straight out of Trainspotting. Americans just go to Mérida.

 

[Doktor Grimm]

It's been absolutely fucking devastating. There's almost no place left you can go for free that's safe and public and relaxed and normal to hang out in. Everyone is always doing something, or in a rush, or going between point A and point B. It's dreadful.
Online dating itself is horrible. People treat it like online shopping, but for mates. Awful times.

These places do still exist; you just have to search a little harder & go in with a specific goal in mind.

IME your city's music scene is a really good place to make connections in the young adult age bracket, if you're that way inclined. It's easy to strike up multiple conversations in one night at a bar gig, because everyone's equipped with a common topic to break the ice ("who's playing next?", "have you seen this band before?", etc.), as well as a convenient excuse to stop talking when the music comes on. If you go to something small, like a weeknight open mic, people will take interest in you as the sole stranger in the venue. Play your cards right and you'll build a rapport with specific bands or performers over time.

It's not expensive either. I'm a poorfag so I'll go in before they start charging the door fee and just read a book or something until the band arrives -- most times I get away with paying literally nothing for a night out and a few chats, drinks/transport notwithstanding. On the occasion I don't hit it off with anyone, it doesn't feel like a waste.

Regular bars work for this, too, but it's a bit more of a gamble. I'd love to see more zoomers populating those spots instead of sadposting about how nobody wants to go out.

 

[isalaide]

…Do Americans really go to McDonald's to get laid?

I'm not American. Where did you hang about all Saturday afternoon when you were in high school for the price of a Medium Value Meal and a chocolate sundae

 

[The Grimace]

What is your guys' opinion on The Handmaid's Tale? The book and/or show.

Also, to stay on-topic, I saw something about on YouTube earlier talking about the third places thing, and my immediate thought was "it's a shame you can't go to a public place that hasn't been ruined by druggies." Heroin needles on kid's playgrounds and all of that awful shit.

 

[A Cat in a Minefield]

I'm not American. Where did you hang about all Saturday afternoon when you were in high school for the price of a Medium Value Meal and a chocolate sundae

I honestly can't tell you. I'm stumped I did sports during the week but I don't really know what I did during the weekend.

According to my mother: gaming, watching videos, playing pokemon go (I was into it during it release, and met up with randoms to do so. Weird but friendly people) and studying from time to time.
I started socializing a bit more during the last year of highschool though. I don't have anything to do with my friends from that time anymore, except from my ex, with whom I still meet up from time to time, when I visit my parents.
I didn't think I was such a "loner", but apparently I was! Glad it's not like that anymore.

 

[Susanna]

I'm not American. Where did you hang about all Saturday afternoon when you were in high school for the price of a Medium Value Meal and a chocolate sundae

I went to a boarding school, hanging about all day was never that unstructured. People were usually doing extracurriculars, like band, or art society, or game clubs. If you just wanted to "hang out" you'd go to the library or the café.

 

[Thé au lait]

…Do Americans really go to McDonald's to get laid?

Usually we went to the park or mall to hang out and meet people, sometimes we would loiter around the cinema.

McDonald's was only for when you were really hungry with friends and just wanted something "quick", so you'd go in and order a large fry for the group and spend the rest of the afternoon doing homework together over them.

 

[NoReturn]

Also, to stay on-topic, I saw something about on YouTube earlier talking about the third places thing, and my immediate thought was "it's a shame you can't go to a public place that hasn't been ruined by druggies." Heroin needles on kid's playgrounds and all of that awful shit.

That's what contributed to the phenomenon I was talking about earlier.
In pursuit of being "nice" to drug addicts and homeless people, we've prioritized them over people who actually have their shit together, who pay taxes and don't litter needles everywhere and do crimes, and we're supposed to feel good about it.
"Oh you're so privledged. Those poor homeless people have no where else to go! You just don't want to see them!"
They don't have to hang out in the public parks I pay for with my tax money, getting fed with my tax money, or getting "safe injection kits" with my tax money. I don't need to be subsidizing an entire class of bureaucrats who have zero incentive to get the homeless off the streets because they get paid to "address homelessness" but if they ever did fix the homeless, then they'd lose their paycheck. The whole system is fucked, but roving vagrants is part of why it's so awful to be in public these days. It's not all social media's fault.

And to be extra clear, I don't just blame the drug addicts. I absolutely blame the fat, lazy, condescending politicians and "community outreach" employees who enable the problem. They love having a herd of fent addicts lying around to excuse their jobs and force citizens to spend money/vote for them.

 

[Holy Lord Phoenix LXII]

It's been absolutely fucking devastating. There's almost no place left you can go for free that's safe and public and relaxed and normal to hang out in. Everyone is always doing something, or in a rush, or going between point A and point B. It's dreadful.
Online dating itself is horrible. People treat it like online shopping, but for mates. Awful times.

People go to their job and then they go home and that is their entire life. It’s terrible. Online dating is a fucking disaster. I gave up on that shit a long time ago. Though I do keep the free ones installed to browse the local dumpster fires when I’m on the toilet.

Asking out total strangers and dating someone you barely know is the most bizarre aspect of modern society, and so few realise what an aberration it is.

It really is bizarre and you never hear anyone commenting on it. "I know I just met you in the condiment section at Wal-Mart but going off our 45-second conversation, I think we could make a great couple"

Big. The 'traditional' i.e. pre smartphone way of meeting people and getting to know them and indeed meeting people to fancy was via hanging out in groups at these places. That was true for teenagers and also people into their twenties. You went out with your pals, possibly of both genders but possibly just the boys or the lassies, to such a place where there would be other groups of boys and lassies and thus social intercourse occurred.

This appears to no longer happen. It appears to have been replaced by a godawful system of directly contacting one other person at a time for sex. This has a terrible disinhibiting effect as you are no longer expected to act normal in a public place in order to make social connections. So instead of offering to buy someone a drink, it is now common to send people photos of genitals as a conversational icebreaker. This is fucking demented.

It also cuts off the people who are not dating (for whatever reason) from tagging along with the group and having a normal social life even if they do not date at this time. The whole arrangement is fucking bizarre and young people are hanging out on fucking Discord as opposed to going and passing their time in the mall McDonalds. This is bullshit as young people need in-person socialisation to learn how to behave around their own species.

Hook-up culture is cancer and Tinder hoes are prostitutes with poor business strategies. You are definitely right about the socialization aspect. I get this deep feeling of dread when I see 18-20 year-olds. No social skills, no technical abilities, no common sense, and no stability. They don't even seem to want each other with how often girls fresh out of high school are flirting with me. Is this what men are supposed to do now? Wait until we're thirty then run through 19-year-olds until we get one of them pregnant? Is this what 30 years of unfettered access to pornography does to a society?