Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[Symbol of the Chud]

The funny part about this keybind stuff is that if Jason had a greater intellectual capacity than a polyp, he could've framed his not using them as a self imposed challenge.
But again, that would require him to have the slightest knowledge of a game he has no-lifed for years, and the barest minimum forethought, so it's beyond the Smug Chungusman.

 

[bremer]

*leans closer to the mic* "Let me tell you something. For the 20 years I've worked at Blizzard, everyone in my department keyboard turned and clicked. It's a perfectly valid way to play the game. Enjoy the ban, dude." *stretches* "Insane behavior."
I just can't wrap my head around how someone can play a game (or games in general) for decades but not improving at all. You don't even need the desire to improve, you will naturally just get better at something you do a lot. Can it really be all ego, thinking he knows better?

 

[ADHD Mate]

he doesn't get into too much detail

It seems like he just moves them when he talks on meetings.
He half-asses it, like everything.

Moreover 6 lbs for weight lifting it is beyond useless. I have 3kg dumbbells (6.6 pounds) that I bought when I was like 13, and even back then I would do so many reps that I would get bored before being anywhere near failure.
And if you are not anywhere near failure, you are just doing weird cardio.

He would be better off buying standing desk + treadmill combo.
Or idk, doing proper weight lifting workout, that he commits to. Even one full body workout once a week is something.

 

[Zeftax]

(Jay Cutler on the left)

That is The Professor (Nasser El Sonbaty), not Jay Cutler.

 

[Terfmaster9000]

He hides his fatness so well on stream

Funny you should say that. I always thought it was funny (read: pathetic) that this grown-ass-man in the year of our lord 2025 is using MySpace angles fatty teens used to use back in 2005. Just shows how crippled he is in the head where he knows he is pudgy and gross and is embarrased by it, but not enough to stop over-eating and hit the gym two or three times a week.

 

[A Hot Potato]

Funny you should say that. I always thought it was funny (read: pathetic) that this grown-ass-man in the year of our lord 2025 is using MySpace angles fatty teens used to use back in 2005. Just shows how crippled he is in the head where he knows he is pudgy and gross and is embarrased by it, but not enough to stop over-eating and hit the gym two or three times a week.

Like I really do wonder with these kinds of people who hold themselves in super high esteem, yet can't make any effort to take care of themselves physically.

I'm not even talking about working out, gaining a healthy weight is entirely good eating. If you don't want to lift then fine, but jesus at least eat something low in fats and sugar for once.

I would say it's probably because they've deluded themselves into thinking they look better than they do, but clearly Maldy here is ashamed of his physical appearance.

People really are they're own worst enemies.

 

[ScurvyRat]

Funny you should say that. I always thought it was funny (read: pathetic) that this grown-ass-man in the year of our lord 2025 is using MySpace angles fatty teens used to use back in 2005. Just shows how crippled he is in the head where he knows he is pudgy and gross and is embarrased by it, but not enough to stop over-eating and hit the gym two or three times a week.

That's the thing about low testosterone men.
They're in a prison of their own creation.
If they put minimal effort into lifting weights, they'd have a hormonal reaction that would change their brain chemistry and break them out of the sedentary funk.
Lifting triggers testosterone production and makes effort feel good
That's why the left preaches that "fitness is a pipeline to the right wing!"
When men pick up weights and produce proper amounts of testosterone, it breaks them of their leftist ideology, more often than not.
There's a reason that leftist men are always disgusting slobs.
Thats why they cope and sneed about their fitness being "good enough"
When you have an excess of body fat over 20BMI or so, effort is physically painful. Not just physical effort, but motivation is suddenly non-existent.
If you take a 10 minute walk and your entire body is on fire, its pretty discouraging to do something harder like lifting weights.

 

[Creepypasta Mario]

The suit talk made me realize I had to put him in it at least once
One last teaser of my "special project" since we're starting to reach 390 pages. I wanna make sure I upload the final thing on page 400

 

[Stickplant]

This might be it, although he doesn't get into too much detail, so this might be the early/"unrefined" version of the story:
View attachment 7037013

It seems like he just moves them when he talks on meetings.
He half-asses it, like everything.

Moreover 6 lbs for weight lifting it is beyond useless. I have 3kg dumbbells (6.6 pounds) that I bought when I was like 13, and even back then I would do so many reps that I would get bored before being anywhere near failure.
And if you are not anywhere near failure, you are just doing weird cardio.

He would be better off buying standing desk + treadmill combo.
Or idk, doing proper weight lifting workout, that he commits to. Even one full body workout once a week is something.

Yes, the first 20s of it.
Funny how he basically labels everyone who doesn't work out a slug-human and then he is the worst of them, classic.
I didn't even remember how much of a joke the weights were that he showed. My mum would lift those.

How do people even fall for this guy, when it is so obvious even in the shorts themself:
>be newfig to maldgrift.
>hear: "Work your land. Use spare time for workout. Don't turn into a slug-human."
>see: A slug-human lifting a paperweight for 2s.
>???

 

[Lurker at the Threshold]

He's copying Alucard with that suit and George Corpsegrinder Fisher with that neck. Unfortunately for him just copying someone doesn't mean you're anywhere near as cool as them.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

What the actual fuck? Why can't he just answer a question like a normal human being, without sounding like a complete narcissistic smug asshole? It was just a normal question, that you can see other creators get asked as well by their fans. And they would give a sincere response like "oh, I go to the gym so and so times" or whatever else they do. Even saying something like "I take walks regularly" would be acceptable.
But not Mald. Oh no. He HAS to respond with the smuggest "hmmm?" tone and a shit eating smirk "oh, I touch grass my dude, like you wouldn't even comprehend how much of a better person I am. Than you, I mean. Because I touch grass, unlike you."
Holy shit, what a fucking insecure waste of oxygen.

I think he's so insecure he took it as an immediate insult towards him, (it is because he is a fat slob).
So he went with a confrontational response.

 

[potato sack]

kohta hirano should file a dmca against maldy for stealing his characters likeness fr

 

[Roachbound]

I'm probably late to this, but check out the insanity of thor and his fanbases' behaviour in regards to the nepobaby label.

Firstly the tweet. Then some piratesoftware fan(who self identifies as a gremlin who grovels in front of their norse god) tries to say Thor contributed more to blizzard than his father. The QA tester did more work than the director of cinematics.
Then we get the "thor is the most wholesome guy with no controversy, and this journalist is going to get ruined by his 250k twitter followers LMAO"
finally, we get to one of his fans who tries to placate his ego while saying that he, factually, is a nepobaby. You can tell how this guy's story ended.

 

[McSneaks]

Wait Mald is essentially a fitness influencer now? The same mald bragging about how South Park made a fat slob character based 1:1 on his fat slob father? Between playing videogames 19 hours a day and getting swoll AF it really is selfish for any of you to expect him to have time to do something so pedantic like his job. You want him to suffer like James Rolfe having to record a video 2 hours once a month when he HAS KIDS??

"Why gym when you can just bio-hack your DNA? Normies work hard, eat right, have normal hobbies. It's a waste, dude. When I'm not hacking Russian disinformation centers and Pokemon scalper deepweb rings for the SNSA (that's the super NSA for you regulars, you wouldn't know them) I'm hacking the testosterone and neurotransmitters essentially adapting my brain/blood barrier to enhance glutamate uptake which tells my muscles to like, turn on and stuff. Trust me, when I was working at Blizzard for 22 years this was just common everyday stuff/"

 

[MercuryMan]

I'm probably late to this, but check out the insanity of thor and his fanbases' behaviour in regards to the nepobaby label.

His name is Jason Mald Hall not Thor.
The most insane takes come from within his Discord. Which is mostly gooners.

Also lmao at Jason lying about being a gym guy. All it takes is one photo to disprove that claim. No autism needed.

 

[p1138]

Wait Mald is essentially a fitness influencer now? The same mald bragging about how South Park made a fat slob character based 1:1 on his fat slob father? Between playing videogames 19 hours a day and getting swoll AF it really is selfish for any of you to expect him to have time to do something so pedantic like his job. You want him to suffer like James Rolfe having to record a video 2 hours once a month when he HAS KIDS??

"Why gym when you can just bio-hack your DNA? Normies work hard, eat right, have normal hobbies. It's a waste, dude. When I'm not hacking Russian disinformation centers and Pokemon scalper deepweb rings for the SNSA (that's the super NSA for you regulars, you wouldn't know them) I'm hacking the testosterone and neurotransmitters essentially adapting my brain/blood barrier to enhance glutamate uptake which tells my muscles to like, turn on and stuff. Trust me, when I was working at Blizzard for 22 years this was just common everyday stuff/"

Hacker for 20 years.
Programmer and gamedev for 20 years.
Farmer for 20 years.
Hiker and mushroom forager for 20 years.
Dungeons & Dragons DM for 20 years.
Fitness guru for 20 years.
Furry and ferret fucker for 20 years.
Streamer for 20 years.

You just don't understand how fulfilling this man's life can possibly be while streaming 20 years a day.

 

[McSneaks]

Hacker for 20 years.
Programmer and gamedev for 20 years.
Farmer for 20 years.
Hiker and mushroom forager for 20 years.
Dungeons & Dragons DM for 20 years.
Fitness guru for 20 years.
Furry and ferret fucker for 20 years.
Streamer for 20 years.

You just don't understand how fulfilling this man's life can possibly be while streaming 20 years a day.

You know the old reddit console peasant argument that 60fps is useless because you only have two eyes how could you possibly see that many?

Mald hacked his optical nerves, so when you mix that+his four eyes+his lineage of big brain clusters (hacker shit, you wouldn't get it) he can consume information at a rate never before (and never again) seen in human history. He lives 8 20 year periods at the same time while the rest of you are sleeping 1/3rd of your life.

Beta youtube commenter: watches someone play videogames 19 hours a day for years
Alpha youtuber: plays videogames 19 hours a day for years
Sigma Mald: does everything all the time while playing videogames 19 hours a day for years

His mouse is his hammer, and the lightning is all the information in existence. THOR: The Horribly Overworked Retard

 

[Takodachi]

What possesses a woman to be that fucked up at 19 already? These people must burn.

Rape. I honestly wouldnt be surprised if she got super-mega raped when she was a kid, a sad tale commonly heard among pooners.

 

[SYN-ACK-ACK-ACK]

Today is the day we've been waiting for. Is the weather still stormy in Washington? I'm thinking he uses that as an excude to not push an update (that he totally worked on).

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

Today is the day we've been waiting for. Is the weather still stormy in Washington? I'm thinking he uses that as an excude to not push an update (that he totally worked on).

I hope that its such a small change that it doesn't meet whatever little standards this thing has. I'd love it if Steam already took this stuff into account and set like a file size requirement for it to actually change."
E: who am I kidding? This lazy fuck wont update it today.