Another small, but meaningful, thing that Jack does: he's admitted he intentionally often makes food that he 'cooks' too spicy for Tammy, so he doesn't have to share the quadruple portions of whatever recipe he's destroying for the first time in his videos. Small...'gesture'...but, shows just how nasty that Christian heart of his is.
Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
- Start date
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- Mar 14, 2021
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Not necessarily. The nurse could potentially get fired if something happened. Healthcare facilities are very lawsuit averse.
Last edited:
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- Jun 20, 2024
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2013
He made polenta. Fucked-up polenta with boiled pork chunks in it. Great work, Jack, the Amish are proud.
Hungry Homeless Handjob
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2021
I think we have a new contender for "thumbnail that looks most like Jack's brain".
myhairisonfire
kiwifarms.net
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- Oct 22, 2024
Another dish undercooked by Jack. The odd thing is that this is a dish you can't overcook. It's prime sloppa and he still managed to fuck it up.
And he still cant fix the low intro volume!
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
That's fucking nutraloaf and is as horrible as I expected and then some. So let me show off the autopsy report:
1. Still hate his random AI slop intro with the riffs. Still can't understand why the fuck he has an AI that sounds like a kid narrate what show we’re watching either.
2. Jack death gurgles how this is the final video. I wish. He means it’s the last gasp of Amish month, which was easily one of his most boring.
2b. No one wants to look at furniture or listen to a retard blankly beg chatGPT to narrate to us the wiki page for basic Amish facts.
3. That godawful subscribe banner was blown up even more and that smoke effect was almost like a flashbang due to how sudden it was.
4. Jack is now trying to explain how and why the Amish makes scrapple. He mushbrains out and describes how they make it from many families, meaning I guess they’re cannibals now.
4b. The actual reason they made this is to ensure they had more food and to reduce wastage. The stuff you can’t cook proper from the animal is ground down and turned into a meat pudding.
5. Jack announces that he bothered that poor Detweiler’s butcher about scrapple, and I cannot imagine that poor bastard would know; unless he’s from the mid-atlantic, he’d have never heard about this dish.
6. Jack then babbles about the Amish cook down the longpork bones, which sure they do, but that isn’t scrapple.
6b. Look I’ll cut to explaining this shit since unless you’re a mid-atlantic or Pennsyltuckian, you don’t know what the hell scrapple is. It’s the scraps of pork you’d turn into sausage otherwise mixed with organ meat, cooked into a slurry, and then turned into a meat pudding with cornmeal and buckwheat flour, seasoned with sage, pepper, thyme, and other fixins. You then pan fry slices when you let it set into a loaf overnight. It’s damn good when cooked right, and it’s not going to be here.
7. Jack lowkey reveals the true reason he’s so obsessed with pork bones and doing this recipe is that deep seated food insecurity. He lowkey repeats at least twice how the Amish would boil pounds of bones to get the meat, which really tells me that it really bothers him that he can’t suck down marrow like the ancient Algonquin spirit demands.
8. Haha, oh wow, I just realized what happened. Jack got scammed by the butcher at Detweiler’s to take pork bones for this shitshow of a dish. It was probably at upmarked prices too.
9. Jack suggests seasoning the water with his two spices, one of which is of course red pepper to scare off his wife from the food he will squeeze from bone.
9b. Personally? I’d only season the rendered animal fat, collagen, and pork scraps after it was done and drained. You’re gonna pulse it into a semi-slurry anyway and it’ll take a while to set to boot.
10. Ah, I should mention that so far the only ingredient in this shitshow is pork bones. I’d personally use trimmings from pork, a few chunks of decent quality pork to throw in, and a liver or kidney, since that offal smooths out the final texture.
11. “I think this will be good” ~ a Fat Narc mentally incapable of taking an L
12. Jack mislabels his red pepper as cayenne pepper, meaning he originally intended for this to be even spicier to ensure Tammy won’t eat it.
13. “He left allotta meat, a lot of meat on the bones” ~ Jack on the poor pig that died for this travesty
14. Jack honestly believes he’d only need two to three hours to get the meats and fats out of the bones. You need ideally at least six hours to do that.
15. Fat Jack preemptively gets in front of how the meat will not fall off the bones due to undercooking it by saying he’ll just take it off by force. Yep, that’s definitely going to save time.
15b. Also you bet your ass he isn’t going to take the scum off the top of what he’s cooking and leaving it in there to make it taste worse.
16. Jack nearly dry drowns as he dumps about a Valdez worth of cayenne pepper/red pepper into this witch’s cauldron. He then leaves in the entire segment of him awkwardly grabbing at and opening the sage bottle to do the same thing.
17. Jack then fadecuts to showing the results of draining his septic tank. Oh wait no, that’s the soup stock and the meat scraps he’s poorly making. My mistake.
18. Hope barges in via the malfunctioning door at the smell of pork that’s actually edible, as dogs like to do. Jack actually seethes a bit, raising his voice to greet her.
18b. And of fucking course she’s wearing the fucking harness!
19. Jack explains what he’s going to do once more to this mostly cooked pork, mentioning that he’s going to chop it up. I strongly suspect we’re going to see one of the biggest things he’ll get wrong in this dish soon, but we’ll see.
20. Jack also wisely declares he’s going to take a few cups of liquid, which is indeed what you need for this dish. He says he’s going to separate them though which is dumb.
21. And less than 20 seconds after triggering my suspicions, as he insists he’s only going to finely chop up the pork, not grind it into a farce like you would hotdogs in a way. He mentions scissoring the pork too, which you can take as you will.
22. We fadecut to the rock pan as Jack states he’s going to use half of the liquid he originally stated he was going to use. Double the recipe but halve the not-meat like usual once more… got it.
23. Jack slowly pours in the greasy fat water and then declares we’re waiting for this to simmer, putting in WHOLE BLACK PEPPER CORNS WHAT THE FUCK.
23b. I should note that by now, you’d have done this with the slurry and added in the cornmeal and flour to it if you making this correctly.
24. Jack the hack declares we’re doing the cornmeal first. This is massively wrong and fucking retarded, because it will suck up the water alongside the buckwheat and not properly integrate into the final product.
25. Our idiot chef then lazily and daintily mixes this stuff that sucks up water and congeals into doughballs if given a chance to do so with no urgency, because his best source of info was a butcher huckster who wouldn’t know how this fucking dish works since it’s not found outside of the Mid-Atlantic!
26. OH YOU FUCKING TWAT! YOU FUCKING NUMPTY! YOU CRAYON MUNCHING FUCKTARD NOOO NOO NOO-
*One therapy session later*
27. Right, so what pissed me off was his decision to just dump in chopped up pork into this slurry. This is perhaps the dumbest move he’s done yet, and that’s saying a lot at this point.
27b. Again, this is assbackwards. You have a fine meat slurry you dampen with liquid. Then you add your binders like cornmeal and flour, since it’s effectively a meat pudding.
28. So I’m staring in disgust, horror, and a bit of MATI at this polenta with shaved pork disguising itself as a favorite breakfast staple of mine. He’s so goddamn slow at this the cornmeal has solidified into doughballs throughout this mess. Kill me.
29. Jack belatedly explains the mixing process, but because he’s a bizarro person from another dimension, he lists the orders backwards.
30. Jack describes how you have to wait until the mix thickens, and it remarkably nails vomit in looks perfectly. Or a rancid stuffing.
31. Jack describes how a meat porridge has a feeling and weight similar to oatmeal. This however is more like stuffing you’d serve in Hell for Thanksgiving.
32. The final product is something you’d see get served right before a prison riot that takes the lives of several guards, dozens of prisoners, and burns down said prison in the process. It is intrinsically and on every level humanly possible unappealing, and proper scrapple isn’t supposed to be fucking yellow.
33. “You’re probably thinking ewww” ~ Jack being honest for once.
33b. Jack also does mention that technically this is all pre-cooked, though again I’d believe the pork was still partially raw at this stage. He’s so lucky that the US is very good at killing off tapeworms in pigs.
34. Jack shows the sliced nutraloaf to the audience, describing how he’s going to take this pile of fuck to the oven to cook.
35. Jack compares scrapple to breakfast sausage, when IMO it’s more like breakfast meatloaf.
36. Oh hey, Jack does a meat booger to test if it’s hot due to a lack of object permanence. He hasn’t done that in a good while!
37. Jack silently places the somewhat overly thick nutraloaf slices down onto the pot he’s cooking with for NO REASON.
38. Jack has failed at scrapple so badly that he added bacon grease to this pot. Well that and he just wants bacon grease.
38b. I should note that a well made scrapple doesn’t actually need any fat to cook correctly. It’s fatty enough to not need it, you just need to baby it out of the skillet.
39. Jack compares the final product to hashbrowns, which is a massive testament to his failure as a chef, since it should look like a nice rich brown if it was made right.
40. Manchild Jack is confused by the hashbrown looking pile of shit he made smelling like sausage. No shit sherlock it’s a meat pudding.
41. Jack, terrified at the taste and even more so at losing any scrapple from his first bite, slowly and reluctantly forks the bite into his mouth, his tongue impulsively doing little giraffe actions to ensure nothing escapes.
42. Jack stares off into the distance in the same way a veteran who survived the Somme might stare if told he’s going over the top after his entire company got pasted and he was the only survivor.
42b. It’s really obvious he’s desperately trying to invent excuses and lies for why this nutraloaf pile of shit is actually super gud and tasty, and it’s taking him longer than he’d like to whip up the lie.
43. “It tastes just like it is” ~ A narc trying to DARVO himself into an egosaving win
44. Jack struggles to rationalize that this was actually good, going back desperately to the constituent ingredients as if that’s why they’re good. If I had to guess, the separated cornmeal and lack of flour did him in texture wise; way too gritty by itself.
45. Fat retard liar finally was able to get over his disgust at his abomination to groan out a gud, but need more crispy, and then finishes this farce of a month by pretending he’s ever going to make scrapple again rather than just eat raw sausages covered in bacon grease like normal.
46. I will end this autopsy by agreeing with fat Jack on giving scrapple a try. Just actually get it from like Rapa or Habbersett instead of botching it like this.
2. Jack death gurgles how this is the final video. I wish. He means it’s the last gasp of Amish month, which was easily one of his most boring.
2b. No one wants to look at furniture or listen to a retard blankly beg chatGPT to narrate to us the wiki page for basic Amish facts.
3. That godawful subscribe banner was blown up even more and that smoke effect was almost like a flashbang due to how sudden it was.
4. Jack is now trying to explain how and why the Amish makes scrapple. He mushbrains out and describes how they make it from many families, meaning I guess they’re cannibals now.
4b. The actual reason they made this is to ensure they had more food and to reduce wastage. The stuff you can’t cook proper from the animal is ground down and turned into a meat pudding.
5. Jack announces that he bothered that poor Detweiler’s butcher about scrapple, and I cannot imagine that poor bastard would know; unless he’s from the mid-atlantic, he’d have never heard about this dish.
6. Jack then babbles about the Amish cook down the longpork bones, which sure they do, but that isn’t scrapple.
6b. Look I’ll cut to explaining this shit since unless you’re a mid-atlantic or Pennsyltuckian, you don’t know what the hell scrapple is. It’s the scraps of pork you’d turn into sausage otherwise mixed with organ meat, cooked into a slurry, and then turned into a meat pudding with cornmeal and buckwheat flour, seasoned with sage, pepper, thyme, and other fixins. You then pan fry slices when you let it set into a loaf overnight. It’s damn good when cooked right, and it’s not going to be here.
7. Jack lowkey reveals the true reason he’s so obsessed with pork bones and doing this recipe is that deep seated food insecurity. He lowkey repeats at least twice how the Amish would boil pounds of bones to get the meat, which really tells me that it really bothers him that he can’t suck down marrow like the ancient Algonquin spirit demands.
8. Haha, oh wow, I just realized what happened. Jack got scammed by the butcher at Detweiler’s to take pork bones for this shitshow of a dish. It was probably at upmarked prices too.
9. Jack suggests seasoning the water with his two spices, one of which is of course red pepper to scare off his wife from the food he will squeeze from bone.
9b. Personally? I’d only season the rendered animal fat, collagen, and pork scraps after it was done and drained. You’re gonna pulse it into a semi-slurry anyway and it’ll take a while to set to boot.
10. Ah, I should mention that so far the only ingredient in this shitshow is pork bones. I’d personally use trimmings from pork, a few chunks of decent quality pork to throw in, and a liver or kidney, since that offal smooths out the final texture.
11. “I think this will be good” ~ a Fat Narc mentally incapable of taking an L
12. Jack mislabels his red pepper as cayenne pepper, meaning he originally intended for this to be even spicier to ensure Tammy won’t eat it.
13. “He left allotta meat, a lot of meat on the bones” ~ Jack on the poor pig that died for this travesty
14. Jack honestly believes he’d only need two to three hours to get the meats and fats out of the bones. You need ideally at least six hours to do that.
15. Fat Jack preemptively gets in front of how the meat will not fall off the bones due to undercooking it by saying he’ll just take it off by force. Yep, that’s definitely going to save time.
15b. Also you bet your ass he isn’t going to take the scum off the top of what he’s cooking and leaving it in there to make it taste worse.
16. Jack nearly dry drowns as he dumps about a Valdez worth of cayenne pepper/red pepper into this witch’s cauldron. He then leaves in the entire segment of him awkwardly grabbing at and opening the sage bottle to do the same thing.
17. Jack then fadecuts to showing the results of draining his septic tank. Oh wait no, that’s the soup stock and the meat scraps he’s poorly making. My mistake.
18. Hope barges in via the malfunctioning door at the smell of pork that’s actually edible, as dogs like to do. Jack actually seethes a bit, raising his voice to greet her.
18b. And of fucking course she’s wearing the fucking harness!
19. Jack explains what he’s going to do once more to this mostly cooked pork, mentioning that he’s going to chop it up. I strongly suspect we’re going to see one of the biggest things he’ll get wrong in this dish soon, but we’ll see.
20. Jack also wisely declares he’s going to take a few cups of liquid, which is indeed what you need for this dish. He says he’s going to separate them though which is dumb.
21. And less than 20 seconds after triggering my suspicions, as he insists he’s only going to finely chop up the pork, not grind it into a farce like you would hotdogs in a way. He mentions scissoring the pork too, which you can take as you will.
22. We fadecut to the rock pan as Jack states he’s going to use half of the liquid he originally stated he was going to use. Double the recipe but halve the not-meat like usual once more… got it.
23. Jack slowly pours in the greasy fat water and then declares we’re waiting for this to simmer, putting in WHOLE BLACK PEPPER CORNS WHAT THE FUCK.
23b. I should note that by now, you’d have done this with the slurry and added in the cornmeal and flour to it if you making this correctly.
24. Jack the hack declares we’re doing the cornmeal first. This is massively wrong and fucking retarded, because it will suck up the water alongside the buckwheat and not properly integrate into the final product.
25. Our idiot chef then lazily and daintily mixes this stuff that sucks up water and congeals into doughballs if given a chance to do so with no urgency, because his best source of info was a butcher huckster who wouldn’t know how this fucking dish works since it’s not found outside of the Mid-Atlantic!
26. OH YOU FUCKING TWAT! YOU FUCKING NUMPTY! YOU CRAYON MUNCHING FUCKTARD NOOO NOO NOO-
*One therapy session later*
27. Right, so what pissed me off was his decision to just dump in chopped up pork into this slurry. This is perhaps the dumbest move he’s done yet, and that’s saying a lot at this point.
27b. Again, this is assbackwards. You have a fine meat slurry you dampen with liquid. Then you add your binders like cornmeal and flour, since it’s effectively a meat pudding.
28. So I’m staring in disgust, horror, and a bit of MATI at this polenta with shaved pork disguising itself as a favorite breakfast staple of mine. He’s so goddamn slow at this the cornmeal has solidified into doughballs throughout this mess. Kill me.
29. Jack belatedly explains the mixing process, but because he’s a bizarro person from another dimension, he lists the orders backwards.
30. Jack describes how you have to wait until the mix thickens, and it remarkably nails vomit in looks perfectly. Or a rancid stuffing.
31. Jack describes how a meat porridge has a feeling and weight similar to oatmeal. This however is more like stuffing you’d serve in Hell for Thanksgiving.
32. The final product is something you’d see get served right before a prison riot that takes the lives of several guards, dozens of prisoners, and burns down said prison in the process. It is intrinsically and on every level humanly possible unappealing, and proper scrapple isn’t supposed to be fucking yellow.
33. “You’re probably thinking ewww” ~ Jack being honest for once.
33b. Jack also does mention that technically this is all pre-cooked, though again I’d believe the pork was still partially raw at this stage. He’s so lucky that the US is very good at killing off tapeworms in pigs.
34. Jack shows the sliced nutraloaf to the audience, describing how he’s going to take this pile of fuck to the oven to cook.
35. Jack compares scrapple to breakfast sausage, when IMO it’s more like breakfast meatloaf.
36. Oh hey, Jack does a meat booger to test if it’s hot due to a lack of object permanence. He hasn’t done that in a good while!
37. Jack silently places the somewhat overly thick nutraloaf slices down onto the pot he’s cooking with for NO REASON.
38. Jack has failed at scrapple so badly that he added bacon grease to this pot. Well that and he just wants bacon grease.
38b. I should note that a well made scrapple doesn’t actually need any fat to cook correctly. It’s fatty enough to not need it, you just need to baby it out of the skillet.
39. Jack compares the final product to hashbrowns, which is a massive testament to his failure as a chef, since it should look like a nice rich brown if it was made right.
40. Manchild Jack is confused by the hashbrown looking pile of shit he made smelling like sausage. No shit sherlock it’s a meat pudding.
41. Jack, terrified at the taste and even more so at losing any scrapple from his first bite, slowly and reluctantly forks the bite into his mouth, his tongue impulsively doing little giraffe actions to ensure nothing escapes.
42. Jack stares off into the distance in the same way a veteran who survived the Somme might stare if told he’s going over the top after his entire company got pasted and he was the only survivor.
42b. It’s really obvious he’s desperately trying to invent excuses and lies for why this nutraloaf pile of shit is actually super gud and tasty, and it’s taking him longer than he’d like to whip up the lie.
43. “It tastes just like it is” ~ A narc trying to DARVO himself into an egosaving win
44. Jack struggles to rationalize that this was actually good, going back desperately to the constituent ingredients as if that’s why they’re good. If I had to guess, the separated cornmeal and lack of flour did him in texture wise; way too gritty by itself.
45. Fat retard liar finally was able to get over his disgust at his abomination to groan out a gud, but need more crispy, and then finishes this farce of a month by pretending he’s ever going to make scrapple again rather than just eat raw sausages covered in bacon grease like normal.
46. I will end this autopsy by agreeing with fat Jack on giving scrapple a try. Just actually get it from like Rapa or Habbersett instead of botching it like this.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
The intro makes me irrationally angry
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
This was just the wendigo momentarily failing to restrain itself.
No, he's done it a few times. "This is the first time a tomato has touched these lips in a year" or some dumb shit from a few weeks back. He's dropped the purely carnivore larp and thinks it doesn't mean he needs to eat carnivore all the time to be on a carnivore diet. Just like when he was "leaning keto" instead of actually being on a keto diet.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2024
I saw another video on Scrapple (done right of course) and i got so hungry. I think i might do it this week.
Jack fucked up the texture badly, there's no uniformity on the consistency. Looks like barf.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2021
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2019
I had to know how Jack fucked that up. From his own recipe:
Pull meat from bone and chop all the meat with a knife or food processor, being careful not to grind it too fine. Set aside.
Apparently he took "don't grind too fine" to mean "bite sized chunks."
Recipe Jack stole. Of course he did not credit the author and he didn't change a single word I can find when he copied it in the description.
Edit: It looks like this recipe gets passed around a lot. Here it is from 2010 with the same verbage as Jack's copy job. I found some sources suggesting this is a a smaller portioned variation of the Scrapple from Bette's Ocean View Diner, so here is our Lord and Savior Guy "Donkey Sauce" Fieri trying that.
Pull meat from bone and chop all the meat with a knife or food processor, being careful not to grind it too fine. Set aside.
Apparently he took "don't grind too fine" to mean "bite sized chunks."
Recipe Jack stole. Of course he did not credit the author and he didn't change a single word I can find when he copied it in the description.
Edit: It looks like this recipe gets passed around a lot. Here it is from 2010 with the same verbage as Jack's copy job. I found some sources suggesting this is a a smaller portioned variation of the Scrapple from Bette's Ocean View Diner, so here is our Lord and Savior Guy "Donkey Sauce" Fieri trying that.
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- Joined
- Mar 14, 2021
Anybody know what this means? That Rob knew Jack would copy his scrapple video?
We all knew Fatty would make a scrapple video. Assuming Fatty would completely fuck it up isn't exactly much of a gambit either, so I don't know what he could possibly be talking about.
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2024
Guess i have to thank Jack. Thanks to him i learned a lot about the amish. I saw his bullshit videos and decided to educate myself watching content about them made by competent people as a palate cleanser.
Thanks Jack!
Thanks Jack!
Marc
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2022
Rob quite deliberately published a scrapple video a few days before Jack could, in which he left a few conspicuous mistakes and ingredient omissions in the final edit (which he apologizes for later in the video - belying that he easily could have helpfully cut to the pertinent info in an earlier and more appropriate sequence).
I took this to be an experiment in cow-tipping (i.e., setting Jack up to fail in a particular direction) - But because
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
If it was a gambit, I wouldn't expect it of Rob, because he must know by now Jack absolutely does not give a shit or even look at anything his "best friend" uploads.
Super Hans v2
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
Jack sits on videos for weeks. Only God knows why, because it isn't because of editing time or having satellite Internet because of living induhwuds, but whatever. I would think being a lurker that Rob would know he'd have to have published his own in January to affect Jack's content, but that'd also require Jack be open with his plans online instead of just posting boomerfaggotry on Twatter.