Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Puggers]

Jack was getting riled up as fuck with the second F as in Frank show with Jimmy tonight. Very Angy!

He’s lidurrally blocking the word Mayonnaise from chat. You can see it if you post it, but nobody else can. (You can prove it by switching from Live Chat to “All”). It will post of you misspell it as Mayonaise , but blocks “Mayo” as well. Why would a grown man filter a specific condiment in chat?

Jack was seething at the pushback he got from wolk libs in the audience.

Frequent political over-sharer Jack also thought that Lindsey Graham was a Democrat woman. He got very mad at Disney for making Shrek Junior a tranny in Shrek 5 too.

Jack was called a flatworm for his lack of knowledge of key players in public events. Jack lost his shit and boysclubbed the true and honest fan.

Jack debated the appropriate use of the hard R N word with nobody in particular. But he wanted his point known regardless.

I missed the link to he live voice chat he’s doing on X right now. Anyone have that?

https://www.youtube.com/live/8FnDNpvjAxo?si=xb15wqW-QQ8guLI6

My favorite part of that live stream is how Jack justifies the moon landing being fake by asking why we can't see the American flag up there with a telescope.

What a fucking moron.

 

[SteveGoatman]

From Jack Jr's recent insta post, I'm confused on what the color coding signifies as Troy isn't a girls name nor is Steph a boy's name. Of course Nigga is a unusual choice for baby names in general.
Awaiting the arrival of Shawn Nigga Scalfani!
View attachment 7044085

Edit: This being a list of votes for the gender of the baby makes a lot more sense, thank u for the clarification. Maybe Shawn's vote is that the baby's gonna be black, lol

I'd like to highlight a few points from Jr's touching note.....

1) Gucci Goombah - Jr....you're a dead broke wage slave doing some kind of very low level work (after screwing up a great career path job in HVAC). You barely pay any of your own bills and live in nowhere Tennessee. You don't own/can't afford/shouldn't buy ANY authentic luxury goods, Gucci or otherwise. Also, you're not really Italian.

2) "I already wanna give you the world (But you gon have to earn it too)" - Not a bad sentiment, but first of all, again, you're a broke man child bum who has achieved nothing and therefore have nothing to "give" anyone else. The best thing you could give this kid is a positive example of you growing up, getting serious about a grown up job and maturing etc. But yes beyond that the kid is certainly going to have to earn his place in the world cause it isn't going to be gifted to him via Jack or Jack Jr.

 

[Marc]

Jack reveals that he uses a bidet.

Correctly, though? Given he's the retard who designed his house, the "bidet" is probably one of the two shower heads closest to the toilet, with a hose only long enough to reach the bowl if you're holding it in your right hand, and with Tammy having to mop all the grease off the floor when he's "done", after first having to navigate lifting him off the crumbling toilet seat and back into his paper towel-layered wheelchair while there's bloody shit all over his hands and glasses (in the manner of a finger-painting toddler). Jack seems like the kind of guy who pops another hemorrhoid every time he tries to stand up.

Of course, this all assumes that Jack's "bidet" isn't just him shitting through the slats of his shower chair and then counting on Tammy to waffle-stomp the least sharp fragments down the drain without slipping or contracting tetanus. Maybe that's why they shower together with two faucet heads - If one of them ends up revealing that they shower together twenty five times a day, we'll know why. This would also serve to explain why Jack constantly appears grimy, in addition to wearing the same, dandruff-speckled shirts for days at a time: He showers exclusively from the waist down.

Jack justifies the moon landing being fake by asking why we can't see the American flag up there with a telescope.

Jack wouldn't be able to see it on a restaurant menu, either.

 

[ZipDisk]

Early Jack Detractors really liked his bean salad which consisted of Best Foods mayonnaise, slap chopped onion, white vinegar and canned Van Camp pork and beans.

 

[charlesdickens]

I skimmed the F as in Frank, and caught Jack saying "I'm 10% black" during the discussion of Jack Jr.'s little list. He went on to say that made Junior 5% and that everyone has black in them.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Frequent political over-sharer Jack also thought that Lindsey Graham was a Democrat woman.

This somehow is even dumber than his belief that JFK was a Republican and Nixon was a Democrat, which was also revealed on a livestream with Jimmy. Must have been about 2-3 months ago now. The chat laughed its ass off at his abject stupidity, and Jack became enraged and said people can't expect him to know every single little fact about history. To which someone basically replied, "Of course not, but you should not be the biggest fucking moron who ever lived on the subject of X if you devote your whole life to ranting about X." To which Jimmy nodded in agreement and Jack had no answer.

Never thought I'd encounter something dumber than that, but here we are. Pretty much no one on either side likes Lindsey Graham, so in Jack's mind that means Lindsey Graham must be an evil unlikable Democrat. (And he has a girl's name, so he must be a girl!) Same logic Jack applied to the presidents. Right or wrong, JFK is generally revered and Nixon is generally hated, so JFK = Good = Republican and Nixon = Bad = Democrat. His critical thinking skills are literally childlike, and if we're being honest, dumb childlike. On this chart he is actually below the bottom rung, because he can't recall facts and basic concepts.

My favorite part of that live stream is how Jack justifies the moon landing being fake by asking why we can't see the American flag up there with a telescope.

What a fucking moron.

Another reason he likes to give is the fact we've never been back, lol.

For whatever it's worth, noted lolcow Amberlynn Reid also believes the moon landing didn't happen. She and Jack have a ton in common -- shitty childhoods, morbid obesity, narcissism, extreme inability to cook, allegations of abuse, etc. -- so just add this to the pile.

 

[AnOminous]

Early Jack Detractors really liked his bean salad which consisted of Best Foods mayonnaise, slap chopped onion, white vinegar and canned Van Camp pork and beans.

Throw in some slap chopped bell peppers (or hot peppers), a bit of chopped celery, and some relish (or just chopped pickles) and it'd be a fairly typical Southern side (and actually pretty good although I prefer the more vinegary three bean salad).

So how did Jagoff totally fuck up such a simple recipe (I mean other than leaving out about half the traditional ingredients)? My guess is way too much mayo. Looking back to earlier in the thread: yeah unsurprisingly way too much mayo.

The pork and beans choice isn't that unusual, though.

 

[ZipDisk]

I don't get why you would add anything to pork and beans though? I've only ever seen it as a side.

 

[Polska krowa]

Early Jack Detractors really liked his bean salad which consisted of Best Foods mayonnaise, slap chopped onion, white vinegar and canned Van Camp pork and beans.

The part in that video where he fires the pork fat out of shot has lived in my head rent-free for well over a decade at this point.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I skimmed the F as in Frank, and caught Jack saying "I'm 10% black" during the discussion of Jack Jr.'s little list. He went on to say that made Junior 5% and that everyone has black in them.

Jack wants about 10" of black in him

 

[souschef]

Early Jack Detractors really liked his bean salad which consisted of Best Foods mayonnaise, slap chopped onion, white vinegar and canned Van Camp pork and beans.

That one was vile. Not only he did make a dish that looks like vomit, but seems like he went for the vomit flavor too

 

[AnOminous]

I don't get why you would add anything to pork and beans though? I've only ever seen it as a side.

It's pretty common at any roadside BBQ.

He might have stolen this and half-assed it by not including all the usual ingredients:

https://juliassimplysouthern.com/2023/06/best-pork-n-bean-salad-recipe.html#recipe

But he DEFINITELY added more than 3 tablespoons of mayonnaise.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Another reason he likes to give is the fact we've never been back, lol.

He got that from mega-tard Candace Owens. She said that on multiple shows.

Frequent political over-sharer Jack

At first glance I read this as “Frequent political over-sharter Jack.”

 

[AnOminous]

Another reason he likes to give is the fact we've never been back, lol.

That's a really dumb reason. There's seriously no practical reason to go there at present. It was a proof of concept and a project where we and the Soviet Union could be rivals about something that wasn't nuking each other and the rest of the planet.

 

[Polska krowa]

That's a really dumb reason. There's seriously no practical reason to go there at present. It was a proof of concept and a project where we and the Soviet Union could be rivals about something that wasn't nuking each other and the rest of the planet.

We will see more moon landings soon enough - primarily because China wants to conduct a human landing, resulting in NASA initiating the Artemis program. The first crewed lunar landing of the program is pencilled in for 2027... all Jack has to do is hang on until then.

 

[AnOminous]

We will see more moon landings soon enough - primarily because China wants to conduct a human landing, resulting in NASA initiating the Artemis program. The first crewed lunar landing of the program is pencilled in for 2027... all Jack has to do is hang on until then.

We should probably wait to see if the chinesium knockoff Samsung rocket they order off alibaba blows up with no survivors.

 

[boxybum]

I'd like to highlight a few points from Jr's touching note.....

1) Gucci Goombah - Jr....you're a dead broke wage slave doing some kind of very low level work (after screwing up a great career path job in HVAC). You barely pay any of your own bills and live in nowhere Tennessee. You don't own/can't afford/shouldn't buy ANY authentic luxury goods, Gucci or otherwise. Also, you're not really Italian.

2) "I already wanna give you the world (But you gon have to earn it too)" - Not a bad sentiment, but first of all, again, you're a broke man child bum who has achieved nothing and therefore have nothing to "give" anyone else. The best thing you could give this kid is a positive example of you growing up, getting serious about a grown up job and maturing etc. But yes beyond that the kid is certainly going to have to earn his place in the world cause it isn't going to be gifted to him via Jack or Jack Jr.

That kid is going to be doomed. Unless Grandma Tammy raises it. It seems Tammy is the only one with some actual work ethic and determination. You got to admit it takes a certain kind of person to stick around with someone like Jack. Whatever her reasons are she does put in the work keeping him afloat. Jr strikes me as a fuck up who can't hold a decent job and was too lazy to make it through uni. No clue why they think they are ready for a child.

 

[Bremsspur]

but my family invariably always asks for the easy-as-shit bean and pasta stew. I just don't get it.

Spoiler: Minor food sperg

Mankind has eaten simple as fuck food for millenia upon millenia, perhaps millions of years depending on where you would like to draw the line.
Modern cooking styles are even in the oldest cases just a few centuries old, having access to spices from around the world too.
Having day to day access to food and dishes from all over the world has just hit a few decades, at most.

The simple dishes are always the best because we have been eating them for our entire existence.
They contain everything our body craves.
Ofc most what you will find at a supermarket are fairly recent breeds.

 

[Puggers]

Sorry for the shit blurring of names. On my lunch break. So, just screenshotting a retarded take from Jack I came upon.

From his post about life changing when he publicly admitted he did something wrong (when?).


Someone commented jokingly saying he must be referring to when he said he was wrong for liking the Dallas Cowboys.

This may be sport-sperging but what Jack said next pissed me off to no end.

Fox Sports: "Based on the most recent odds (+100000), the Raiders have a 0.1% chance of winning the Super Bowl."

So Jack clearly doesnt watch football (that's fine). But, is he seriously saying he just bet fifty bucks on them? What a fucking waste of money. I wonder if Jr. got him hooked on the degenerate sports gambling cycle.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

So Jack clearly doesnt watch football (that's fine). But, is he seriously saying he just bet fifty bucks on them? What a fucking waste of money. I wonder if Jr. got him hooked on the degenerate sports gambling cycle.

That'd be hysterical.
Fatty: Oakland lost by 4. They could've gone for a field goal to cover the spread at the end. NFL is rigged