Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[and I must scream]

Anyway, time for some laughs: a pooner goes to an LGBT+ center and is upset that everyone sorts her into the T instead of respecting her identity as a real gay mayun. The "stealth" ones are my favorite, because something about a little garden gnome-ette squeaking out "I'm a real boy!" just amuses me endlessly.

Doesn't seem like she knows what stealth is. You can't be stealth with people who already know you are trans.

It's been infuriating enough how visible we've become the past few years. Now transphobes know what to "look for" - top surgery scars, the T voice, height differences, hell, I've seen them mention phallo arm/thigh scars.

And whose fault is this? I wouldn't know anything about top surgery scars and "T voice" if you hadn't so proudly presented it so much on platforms like tiktok, and influenced hundreds and hundreds of teenage girls and very young women to do the same while you are at it. "Transphobes" were the ones who has been against you doing it all along. "It's been infuriating enough" lmao. You did that, now you cry and blame "transphobes" for it?

Their "I've decided to be stealth for my safety but transphobes now know what signs to look at, why are they so obsessed with us???" is fucking hilarious as much as it is infuriating. They spent the last few years shoving this degeneracy and mutilation in our faces on social media, general media, on protests, "education" us on every possible platform, and now they cry that we have learned, reluctantly and against our will, all the signs that one is trans and have learned to look for it? Are you serious? A few years back, if I noticed some weird looking manlet with funny voice and comically small hands, I would have just thought this is a man with unfortunate genetics or a man who had some development issues or something. Even mastectomy scars probably wouldn't have made me think this is a woman because I just wouldn't think in this direction. Now though? I know what to look for even without actively trying and the thought is immediately on my mind. Infinity number of tiktok videos of you proudly presenting your mastectomy scars and documenting your gradual voice changes to get asspats and attention have made me an expert on the subject. Maybe you should have listened to people who told you to stop doing it. Too late now. (Also it is hilarious because their persecution complex and genocide claims are so fucking ridicules, but that's another issue).

 

[Procrastinhater]

Actually, I think that is meant to be a stylised face of a big cat. Look at the nose. It looks like that of a cat.

Yeah it's a Cheetah. It's got those lines Cheetahs have going down from their eyes around the edges of their nose.
Kinda comical that some of the only Trannies in sports that aren't (physically capable of being) cheaters have a Cheetah as their mascot...

 

[Izdaja Slika]

It's instructions on how to speak with the "front" of your mouth, like putting a capo on a guitar like filling a glass up with water so the noise it makes when you rub the rim is higher. They're trying to teach a lighter, higher voice but one that's more "natural," not a falsetto. MtFs don't get any voice changes from hormones.

FtM voice guides are usually about working out the new lower range and consciously watching inflection so the FtM sounds like a light tenor and not like a pitched-down woman or the Theranos lady.

I dunno; like you said, someone could spend the same amount of effort and learn ventriloquism instead, which would rule.

Yes, or, and hear me out here, someone could accept their voice, like their sex, is either male or female and not spend a single second worrying about trying to sound like the opposite sex.

 

[shatterspinel]

Yes, or, and hear me out here, someone could accept their voice, like their sex, is either male or female and not spend a single second worrying about trying to sound like the opposite sex.

Yes, and the solution is to distract and divert their tiktok rotten brains with a resurgence of ventriloquism. The dolls can wear all of the stupid clothes and haircuts and take on the most toxic outlooks imagined. We'll all laugh even when the puppets are people too collation shows up with the puppetsexuals.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

There was a time when being able to "throw your voice" was the key to social dominance among 10 year old boys.

I miss the days where knowing how to do magic tricks made you king of the school. I wasted so much money on card trick and illusion manuals.

I would be crushed if activists started mentioning us stealth men. I'm trying to fly under the radar.

They don't have to. The out and proud attention whores have ruined the hiding game for you. People's pesky pattern recognition skills notice the similarities between Aiden, who proudly shows off her transition journey and Michael, the wide hipped, small skulled, narrow shouldered "man" with very small hands.

 

[scathefire]

FtM voice guides are usually about working out the new lower range and consciously watching inflection so the FtM sounds like a light tenor and not like a pitched-down woman or the Theranos lady.

What’s funny about the Theranos lady is that her voice wasn’t even that deep naturally, she deliberately spoke in a lower register in order to get across a certain image of herself. There are voice clips of her where she neglects to speak that way and just sounds like an average woman. She unironically put in more effort to sound differently than most pooners do, and she wasn’t even intending to poon out. Pooners are content to sound like weird frogs forever.

 

[Uzumaki]

Yeah it's a Cheetah. It's got those lines Cheetahs have going down from their eyes around the edges of their nose.
Kinda comical that some of the only Trannies in sports that aren't (physically capable of being) cheaters have a Cheetah as their mascot...

Fuck off their logo isn’t a Cheetah drawn to look like ovaries. Fuck all the way off. Who designed this? What is life?

 

[Aunt Carol]

I wouldn't know anything about top surgery scars and "T voice" if you hadn't so proudly presented it so much on platforms like tiktok, and influenced hundreds and hundreds of teenage girls and very young women to do the same while you are at it.

"If you don't want The Public to know what top surgery scars look like, stop drawing them on your Call of Duty fanart." --Sun Tzu

Yeah it's a Cheetah. It's got those lines Cheetahs have going down from their eyes around the edges of their nose.

Cheetahs are so anxious and high-strung (and yet don't always get along with each other) that zoos and rescues have been pairing cheetah cubs with emotional-support dogs.

Poetry.

The dolls can wear all of the stupid clothes and haircuts and take on the most toxic outlooks imagined.

This is a great plan and I'm sure the standard FtM ukuleles can be easily incorporated.

What’s funny about the Theranos lady is that her voice wasn’t even that deep naturally, she deliberately spoke in a lower register in order to get across a certain image of herself.

That was kind of my point: Theranos lady's voice was so fake, like as fake as when your friend decides that going to middle school is the perfect time to pretend to have a British accent because nobody will know any better. She had dedication to the con, but she didn't check with a vocal coach or a theater kid on how to do it more normally or sustainably.

 

[cybertoaster]

Pooners live in an alternate reality where 80's frat movies are real life.

Also:

The irony...

Getting permanently sterilized to own the chuds! remember to tell that to the orderlies at the retirement house while they burn you with ciggies.

 

[FinnSven]

Professional Transmen’s Soccer Team Debuts In Men’s League With 19-0 Defeat
Who could have seen this coming?

View attachment 7050451

That’s surprising.

Footballers are normally a bunch of Jessies who mince around the field and snap their ankles at the slightest flounce.

A pooner rugby team would be more impressive.

 

[Male Idiot]

Cheetahs are so anxious and high-strung (and yet don't always get along with each other) that zoos and rescues have been pairing cheetah cubs with emotional-support dogs.

Poetry.

That is cute, I read a long time ago that you can get a wild animal to chill out by putting the wild animal cub with a domesticated version. But always put the wild cat into the domesticated animal's place, or it ends badly.

Now I'm thinking, how would a pooner react if they were dumped into a girly girl's princess room with a very friendly and bubbly girl? Would they thaw like a wild animal, or just get a hecking tantrum?

 

[Procrastinhater]

Cheetahs are so anxious and high-strung (and yet don't always get along with each other) that zoos and rescues have been pairing cheetah cubs with emotional-support dogs.

Cheetahs have a notoriously rough time raising a litter to adulthood in the wild, and as an animal whose greatest weapon and best defense is speed, its natural that they're skittish. Labradors on the other hand are so naturally chill and laid back even the most nervous animals feel comfortable around them.

That’s surprising.

Footballers are normally a bunch of Jessies who mince around the field and snap their ankles at the slightest flounce.

A pooner rugby team would be more impressive.

I was just about to say Football players take way harder hits than Rugby players because of the padding and helmets, then I remembered you're talking about soccer and yeah, from what I've seen watching the world cup they go down at the slightest tap, you think they'd be embarrassed but I guess it's more they try to game the rules than they really are that fragile.
Unless they just are total bitches.

An all Pooner Rugby team would be fucking hilarious, for the simgle match they'd last before most of the team ended up in the fracture clinic.
Those Rugby players take some fucking crazy hits for guys that don't wear helmets.

Now I'm thinking, how would a pooner react if they were dumped into a girly girl's princess room with a very friendly and bubbly girl? Would they thaw like a wild animal, or just get a hecking tantrum?

And I'm wondering how a Pooner would react if dumped in an enclosure with a hungry Cheetah.

Or a Leopard...

 

[Plum Smuggler]

The pooner lawyer got some more of that sweet sweet attention she craves. They used the funniest picture they could find.

Article

 

[Hamplanet Fitness]

HSTS explains dood nomenclature:

 

[FinnSven]

HSTS explains dood nomenclature:

View attachment 7055589

I hope these are the first signs of a HSTS-AGP-Pooner civil war.

Lots of hair pulling, crying and scratching.

 

[Ruined by the Rain]

"If you don't want The Public to know what top surgery scars look like, stop drawing them on your Call of Duty fanart." --Sun Tzu

They reminded me of the phrase not afraid of godlike enemy but piglike teammate.

I hope these are the first signs of a HSTS-AGP-Pooner civil war.

Lots of hair pulling, crying and scratching.

Pooners usually suck gock so it's impossible

 

[Surfin Terf]

Yeah it's a Cheetah. It's got those lines Cheetahs have going down from their eyes around the edges of their nose.
Kinda comical that some of the only Trannies in sports that aren't (physically capable of being) cheaters have a Cheetah as their mascot...

They’re still cheaters. They’re taking steroids even if it’s not enough for them to beat anyone, in the same way I’d be cheating if I took steroids and then got my ass beat in MMA. You don’t have to win to be a cheater

 

[deermeat]

HSTS explains dood nomenclature:

View attachment 7055589

deadass so tired of these niggas, man.
I hate pooners too but like, theres just something so insulting seeing all these men shit on pooners given the reasons pooners poon out compared to them, even with fujos.
But then I get even more mad at pooners for constantly seeing this disgusting ass behavoir from troons yet still being pathetic cock obsessed handmaidens towards them.

Usually with incels they are left alone with society shitting on them no matter what. But these people get a pass when they objectively act way worse than the average incel.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

 

[Procrastinhater]

They’re still cheaters. They’re taking steroids even if it’s not enough for them to beat anyone, in the same way I’d be cheating if I took steroids and then got my ass beat in MMA. You don’t have to win to be a cheater

Thats true now I think about it. Its just somehow even fucking gayer to cheat and still lose.