Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Slavic Patronym]

Latest Jack video is up!

As unintelligible as ever. Let's revel in some of the finer points!

• Jack starts the video complaining about the fact it always rains in Tennessee
  • Given the fact he also famously announced "I hate the sun," we are left to wonder what kind of weather Jack actually likes?

• Dad-to-be Jack Jr. continues to dress for success with the tie-dye Lakers hoodie, matching Lakers hat, gold toy machine watch and glasses that make him look like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys
  • Bonus points for the Skittles energy drink

• Timestamp 8:00 = Jumpscare! Turns out Tammy was actually filming this whole episode! So now we get to see Jack's facial sores up close, as well as the bushel of gray-black hair in his right ear

• Timestamp 8:35 = Jack demands Junior explain what "fire" means when he says "this place is fire" because if "fire" is anything like "the bomb" then it could be either good or bad
  • Something being "the bomb" was only ever good, so Jack is either talking out of his ass (as always) or is confusing "x is the bomb" with "x bombed" (also a possibility given his... damage)

• Timestamp 9:40 = Just for a moment, Jack's truly nasty side of old curdles up to the surface when Junior dares to speak or interject (with mild disagreement, no less) during Jack's end-of-video review
  • Jack catches himself -- for him, quickly -- but even still can only power through it with a VERY forced smile and ZERO verbal acknowledgment of Junior's point

• Timestamp 9:55 = "Graduation! Wedding! SUNDAY! Doesn't matter!" This place is perfect for total non-events as well as humongous life events -- be they the kind that occur annually, once every five years or so, or (you know) weekly!

 

[charlesdickens]

Jack Jr. looks ridiculous in that video. His face goes all red when he has to have the camera on him too. What a cool guy.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

So Jack’s version of carnivore includes white rice (four bowls in their order) and sugar-filled sauces. Sounds about right.

 

[biggacracka]

So Jack’s version of carnivore includes white rice (four bowls in their order) and sugar-filled sauces. Sounds about right.

It's carnivoar leaning, MOM

 

[recons borign nao]

Really hoping stroked out Jack gets into sports betting. Saucemanjack would be some of the best CWJ content in years.

Edit: grammar

 

[LifeAlert]

2:03 "*GASP* MEAT!"

Also what the fuck

 

[Tiresome]

Also what the fuck

Jack is now literally below the average Down Syndrome sufferer in dexterity and composure.

 

[Crunchy Smegma]

View attachment 7060253

And to think Jack used to be able to stick his tongue out for miles to deftly cradle a slice of pizza before quickly swallowing it in one bite

 

[souschef]

Le blob

View attachment 7058875

EL OGRO DE LAS AMERICAS...

 

[LifeAlert]

And to think Jack used to be able to stick his tongue out for miles to deftly cradle a slice of pizza before quickly swallowing it in one bite

Jack was tonguefucking that spoon like:

 

[Zeftax]

2:03 "*GASP* MEAT!"

4:03 gives me hope for junior. That is far more restraint than we've ever seen from Jack.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

So Jack’s version of carnivore includes white rice (four bowls in their order) and sugar-filled sauces. Sounds about right.

Jack hates rice because he considers it “filler”. So I’m surprised he’s gunt guarding it from the table. But if you consider that he’s hoarding it for himself, it makes sense given his marked food insecurity.

Jack has inherited depression era generational food insecurities like my boomer parents did from their parents who lived through it,

They all eyeball the amount of lean, boneless meat contents of the dish as the value and where their money is going. To them, any vegetables, etc are filler and only cost the restaurant an insignificant amount to produce. A dirty trick to make the meal look larger, but they will eat the slop anyways.

They were trained to contextualize food this way from their parents who had to deal with limited protein options, shortages, inflation, and everyone trying to stretch a dollar until it was transparent during the depression. The way this manifested with my parents was they would immediately evaluate if they got enough meats. You could put few leafs of white lettuce with sunflower oil based “ranch” doused over it, a reheated week old dinner roll with tab of rock hard frozen butter, a handful of sorry ass frozen broccoli and a dried out baked potato with a paper triangle full of sour cream and they would declare it a winner as long as the stegg was large enough and there was no pink. Even meat with bones was considered a dirty trick the skeevy restrauntuer would pull on the rubes because bones mean less lean meat (Jack has echoed this in the past despite declaring bones necessary to ensure you don’t get modern “fake” meat)

Coming in a third generation removed from the “dont order that it’s full of filler” depression era mindset, I’ve fully rejected most any food values from my family, and will probably order a hot pot dish for lunch with nice fluffy white rice, a bit of fatty shaved beef and assorted mushrooms and Chinese veg, including the dreaded tofu (tofu is fake meat for the pools according to my upbringing).



Jack isn’t going to eat the rice, he’s trying to save his family from, enjoying any rice because he is projecting his food insecurity onto them.

 

[AltisticRight]

Also what the fuck

Why out of everything that didn't load, this Satanic abomination of a gif loaded instantly. I guess I'll use cow fat instead of butter for my omelette later.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

white rice is empty calories albeit

True but fatty isn't doing it for that reason or he wouldn't consume sugar like he does

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

.

but he is eating the white rice i thought

He’s going to end up bitching about it though, 100%.

Wendigo will feel gyped, unleashing the intrusive gastrosexual/homosexual thoughts. This will make Jack lash out in angyness.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

They all eyeball the amount of lean, boneless meat contents of the dish as the value and where their money is going. To them, any vegetables, etc are filler and only cost the restaurant an insignificant amount to produce. A dirty trick to make the meal look larger, but they will eat the slop anyways.

Not the case for the Korean bbq they went to, but there is that mentality for the all you can eat bbq places. A lot of people try to eat almost all meat at those places to get the best bang for their buck. Also doesn't help that some places charge you for not finish eating the meat but not the vegetables.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

but he is eating the white rice i thought?

I didn't watch the whole video. His stroked out voice is difficult to listen to

Not the case for the Korean bbq they went to, but there is that mentality for the all you can eat bbq places. A lot of people try to eat almost all meat at those places to get the best bang for their buck. Also doesn't help that some places charge you for not finish eating the meat but not the vegetables.

Those places can be relatively healthy for a restaurant as long as you don't do an overly sugary sauce and load up on the vegetables. Of course, fatty wouldn't do that

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

View attachment 7060237
2:03 "*GASP* MEAT!"

Also what the fuck
View attachment 7060253

Those squid rings are donut sized. This isn’t right. In fact , it’s horrifying.

Junior eats right over communal food again.

Tasting the soy sauce to verify that it is soy sauce seems so unnecessary. It it came out with ponzu, just roll with it.

The waitress is cute as a button and is a clear communicator. Brianna, take a look at what you could had been…..I wish her success.

Jack is all chubbed up about meeet meeet mommy meat!

Tammy likes Kimchee now. Probably because it smells and tastes like Kim Yee down in cell block 4A at the ladies prison.

Junior likes Kimchee and spicy food because he’s gay and it helps hide the smell of DeShaun’s cock on his lips.

Junior brings his own giant can of energy drink fucking cringe.

Junior is dressed like a 16 year old.

Junior has some forced gay “cowboy but wigger” drawl.

I’m sure Jack managed to simultaneously burn and undercook his meat at the table.

The little Korean side dishes are entirely Americanized here. I hardly recognize this as banchan.

Jack has some sort of fungal infection, chemical burns, or mite infestation on his face.

Jack is a loud boorish asshole in public. Junior looked like he was on half of a mushroom gummy. Bri looked particularly retarded but happy pregnant glow. Tammy looked like absolute shit, hair all gnarly and waxy skin but smiling like Kim Yee just nailed the Yoni Massage down at the ladies Prison Vocational training massage tech unit.


The fried garbage and the bubble tea plus sauces turned what was possibly a healthy (albeit large) meal, into yet another dietary clusterfuck.

 

[soulless guarantee]

Yesterday Jack posted a movie review of Cleaner - notable for two things: appalling audio quality, and that Jack forgot that there was a sexual encounter. So I don't know how much faith those good Christian parents watching can place in Jack's reviews if he forgets basics of the movie. Other than that, he thought the film was fine, so gives it the default A- rating

(Note: the video quality is degraded because I'm a mobilefag and that's just how it downloaded, and tbh I'm glad I don't see his face in HD glory. Audio quality matches up with his original video)

Of course, someone points out the audio problems, but Jack just blames Instagram and doesn't even try to resolve the issue by reuploading it:

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Those squid rings are donut sized. This isn’t right. In fact , it’s horrifying.

Agreed. I was very confused by this. I kept telling myself those had to be onion rings. If those were squid rings, they were either made from ground squid meat (which, for some blessed reason, had never occurred to me as a thing before this moment) or some random Korean restaurant in Tennessee has access to the fishermen who caught Monstro.