Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Barbarella]

Her White Lotus speech is pure exceptionalism. So, are you saying Patrick Schwarzenegger is a good actor for portraying a slimy character, or does she really think he’s like that?

Parker Posey IRL is a cunt (or so I hear) but she’s playing a languid drug addicted Southern Queen, so that means Tess likes her?

WTF is she talking about? Of course as a deathfat she’s going to meet sleezeballs, healthy gentlemen don’t want their dates to be 500 lbs and farting on cakes.

 

[PropaGONDA]

thanks for summarizing it. The only thing that seems to be certain is that Tess likely blocked all doorways, preventing anyone from escaping.

 

[NoReturn]

I don't know what this is.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Probably a bot or something?

 

[Constellationzero]

View attachment 7062637
View attachment 7062638

I don't know what this is.
View attachment 7062641

Popped layyyg and full piggy toe splay.

You sure she didn't pick up a gig as a practice tattoo HAWG?

 

[NoReturn]

Probably a bot or something?

You'd think so from the page, but Tess explicitly says "Loved shooting with you" which implies it's either a photographer or a company.

It's seems like some kind of artfilm/exhibition maybe? Pimping disguised as art?

 

[Accept Only Substitutes]

She's the most boring moddle. I was watching some videos of Millie Bobby Brown on the red carpet the other day, and the difference between her and Tess is astounding. MBB acts like she's having a ton of fun, she knows how to flirt with the camera without looking retarded, does more than one pose, and is just more interesting to watch. (I love Millie and will hear no slander)

Tess is super fat but she can still move. An actual coach would do wonders, even aging as she is she could still find some work if she was more interesting to watch (and not a raging cunt). But she's of course convinced she's perfect so would never.

 

[The Judean People's Front]

I finally figured it out. I've mentioned before how uncanny I find her when she's moving around (instead of sitting and fatly bitching into her phone screen), and I just realized, watching this video, that she moves like a midget.

She's so fat that her legs and arms are just lil stubby things now and she actually can't move like a full-size human anymore. When she runs her hands "seductively" down her body I was immediately hit with "midget stripper" vibes.

@Turquoise dude if she jogged I'm pretty sure her knees would explode like Kyle's in the SP where he got surgery to be a tall black kid.

 

[Turquoise]

Vastly improved health
Increased mobility
A longer life
Better mood and personality
Attracting more men
Attracting better quality men
Interviews on TV
Doing all the wellbeing podcasts
Lots more money
Lots of invitations to give speeches
Endless compliments and praise
Improved smell
New and better friends
"Some of you may remember Tess Holliday. Well she's back..."

Everything you want, Tess, is 18 months of jogging away.

 

[Angry New Ager]

Tessy on reality in fiction

View attachment 7061510
View attachment 7061507


I think that smell must be metabolic in nature. It comes out of their pores and breath.

"Also, like, how do people still date men right now?"

By not dating the kinds of trash men who would willingly date the likes of Tess, that's how. There are plenty of great men out there; even a crusty hag like me can still get a date once in a while, and it's been a very long time since I got a bad one.

If you're consistently attracting shitty men—and consistently being rejected by the ones you're attracted to—that's a you problem, not a man problem. Straighten your shit out, and things will start to turn around. Of course, Tess will never straighten her shit out because her Narcissism prevents her from admitting she has any shit that needs straightening in the first place.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Vastly improved health
Increased mobility
A longer life
Better mood and personality
Attracting more men
Attracting better quality men
Interviews on TV
Doing all the wellbeing podcasts
Lots more money
Lots of invitations to give speeches
Endless compliments and praise
Improved smell
New and better friends
"Some of you may remember Tess Holliday. Well she's back..."

Everything you want, Tess, is 18 months of jogging away.

If she was smart yes, she could have a whole new career. She could settle being just under 200 lbs. It would require for her to not look for that instant gratification and she is not capable to work on something for 2 years AND change her mindset that she can't live like a 500 lb person anymore. She is beyond turning it around.

 

[Angry New Ager]

If she was smart yes, she could have a whole new career. She could settle being just under 200 lbs. It would require for her to not look for that instant gratification and she is not capable to work on something for 2 years AND change her mindset that she can't live like a 500 lb person anymore. She is beyond turning it around.

Yeah, she's already experienced serious negative consequences of choosing to keep indulging in the habits that got her fat, then fatter, rather than do the work of maintaining herself at the size she was in her heyday. Sizing out of everything helped wreck her career, and it's now taking a toll on her health and her looks.

She was always going to age out of modeling, but if she'd had the self-discipline to keep herself at a consistent size 18-20/2X she'd still be working, and probably would have been offered many other opportunities along the way. Instead, she chose to keep stuffing her face, and not address the issues that drive her to wolf down pints of Jeni's, boxes of Little Debbies, and Super Bowl party spreads that feature bowls of candy.

Shortly after the split with Nick, she mooed about how she'd been so miserable with him that she'd taken to comfort eating, and that's why she gained so much weight. But she didn't do anything to address her emotional eating or lose the weight she'd packed on after that; she's just kept gaining. So she can't blame Nick; this is all her doing, and clearly she's not capable of undoing it.

 

[Dr. Butt]

She was always going to age out of modeling, but if she'd had the self-discipline to keep herself at a consistent size 18-20/2X she'd still be working, and probably would have been offered many other opportunities along the way.

She could have gotten as fat, old, and high as she wanted if she'd picked up one of the traditional backup skills. Once you age out, you can be a fucking stylist aka get paid to pick clothes for people in music videos, interviews, or for red carpet events since she was in LA. It's even easier than becoming a photographer, agent, or makeup artist. But she't too fucking retarded to have even learned which clothes look good on which people, including herself.

 

[NoReturn]

Who or what is she emulating when she makes these faces? It's so unpleasant. Where does it come from? Rap videos?

 

[Clamater]

You'd think so from the page, but Tess explicitly says "Loved shooting with you" which implies it's either a photographer or a company.
View attachment 7062770
It's seems like some kind of artfilm/exhibition maybe? Pimping disguised as art?
View attachment 7062779

Seems like extremely basic crap a creep would come up with to shoot women but what do I know about art. There appeared to be no deathfats or even many overweight subjects at the forefront of his gallery. If this man in the video is "thursday" it took him a second to fix his face.

 

[The Hardest R]

"Also, like, how do people still date men right now?"

By not dating the kinds of trash men who would willingly date the likes of Tess, that's how. There are plenty of great men out there; even a crusty hag like me can still get a date once in a while, and it's been a very long time since I got a bad one.

If you're consistently attracting shitty men—and consistently being rejected by the ones you're attracted to—that's a you problem, not a man problem. Straighten your shit out, and things will start to turn around. Of course, Tess will never straighten her shit out because her Narcissism prevents her from admitting she has any shit that needs straightening in the first place.

It’s the old adage of if you run into an asshole today, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all the time every day, then you’re the asshole. Tubbers embraces the sassy #bossbitch attitude but she brings absolutely nothing to the table. I still think most of her stories about this are made up but her attracting the leftover trash that nobody else wants is unsurprising. I doubt she’s had anything resembling a functional relationship since she started modeling. I don’t think she’d even know what to do if even a “mediocre white guy” were to approach her. Fortunately that’ll never happen.

 

[Angry New Ager]

It’s the old adage of if you run into an asshole today, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all the time every day, then you’re the asshole. Tubbers embraces the sassy #bossbitch attitude but she brings absolutely nothing to the table. I still think most of her stories about this are made up but her attracting the leftover trash that nobody else wants is unsurprising. I doubt she’s had anything resembling a functional relationship since she started modeling. I don’t think she’d even know what to do if even a “mediocre white guy” were to approach her. Fortunately that’ll never happen.

I suspect all of her complaining about men is because the men she wants to attract and date (and get back in the sugar with) keep rejecting her.

Yeah, I'm sure she gets all of the creepy, drooling-retard fetishists online, because that's where they swarm. But IRL, she's the one doing all the pursuing and being rejected now. She doesn't want a genuine relationship; she wants a man who will pay all her bills and, ideally, be willing to be seen in public with her (extra bonus points if he looks good doing so). She'll settle for getting her bills paid, but no johns are willing to do it, and because of this, this men are the problem (according to Tess).

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Came across Tess’s Threads account



A sample of her riveting content, featuring Tess on:

Dieting and the fashion industry





Adulting




Motherhood







Domestic relationships



Politics




Quirkiness





And much, much more!

 

[Soup Sammiches]

Who or what is she emulating when she makes these faces? It's so unpleasant. Where does it come from? Rap videos?
View attachment 7065528
View attachment 7065530

"I wish I had a leg of mutton but on a cake I'd have to poot"

 

[The Hardest R]

Came across Tess’s Threads account

“Tess Hoolliday” will never stop being funny to me.

Adulting

Yet another confirmation Tess has terrible hygiene. I never once thought showering is some great burden. Something that takes a few minutes per day is not a great burden. Tess is fucking disgusting.

The “I’m not the Tess you thought y’all knew” thing is annoying because she moos nonstop about how she doesn’t care about her haydurs. She never once took dieting advice from anyone anyway. She’s said that phrase a few times over the last few weeks so I’m guessing she heard someone she likes say it and decided to imitate it like a retarded parrot.