Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

How does one fuck up the fries at McDonald’s? Don’t you just lower the basket into the oil and press the timer, then take them out? Amazing.
On that note it must infuriate him to no end that trump did a better job making fries at mcdonalds with zero experience than lucas did after months of it

and lets not forget that lucas referred to his job at mcdonalds a 'grueling' to the point he needed to resort to weed and alcohol to 'wind down' from his 'hard days.' Its no surprise he couldn't hack the walmart job considering his history. I mean how the fuck do you even get fired from a job unloading boxes from a mcdonalds truck? I mean short of trying to assault someone or going batshit. Funny how he never explained the specifics of that one
 
On that note it must infuriate him to no end that trump did a better job making fries at mcdonalds with zero experience than lucas did after months of it

and lets not forget that lucas referred to his job at mcdonalds a 'grueling' to the point he needed to resort to weed and alcohol to 'wind down' from his 'hard days.' Its no surprise he couldn't hack the walmart job considering his history. I mean how the fuck do you even get fired from a job unloading boxes from a mcdonalds truck? I mean short of trying to assault someone or going batshit. Funny how he never explained the specifics of that one
What I don't get is that unloading boxes at McDonald's isn't really a full time job either. Like, how often do they receive shipments? Once a week? Walmart is a bit more explainable since I assume they receive trucks daily, and TBH, loading/unloading trucks sucks ass if you can't joke around with other people the entire time. I wonder how long it took him to get kicked out of fries though, since as a former McDonald's alumni myself, it's literally what they throw you on immediately. It's so braindead. Cold fries go on. Fried fries come out.

My only guess is he repeatedly forgot to hit the timer button and had some burntass fries. Once they realized that manning the fries was a bit too fecund a task for him, they demoted him to box duty and told him to walk around with a rag, broom, and dustpan. It would explain why he complained about it being so dirty since it was his task to clean that shit up.
 
What I don't get is that unloading boxes at McDonald's isn't really a full time job either. Like, how often do they receive shipments? Once a week? Walmart is a bit more explainable since I assume they receive trucks daily, and TBH, loading/unloading trucks sucks ass if you can't joke around with other people the entire time. I wonder how long it took him to get kicked out of fries though, since as a former McDonald's alumni myself, it's literally what they throw you on immediately. It's so braindead. Cold fries go on. Fried fries come out.

My only guess is he repeatedly forgot to hit the timer button and had some burntass fries. Once they realized that manning the fries was a bit too fecund a task for him, they demoted him to box duty and told him to walk around with a rag, broom, and dustpan. It would explain why he complained about it being so dirty since it was his task to clean that shit up.
In his reflections lucas claimed it was daily deliveries, where he'd get up at like 4am, walk to mcdonalds, unload the trucks and then walk back and even called this a grueling day. I find it hard to believe mcdonalds goes through inventory to the point they need daily deliveries, it doesn't sound very practical. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to find out that lucas's job at mcdonalds was part time. After all he did a fair bit of reeeeing about how angry he was that cyril was 'raking it in' at circuit city, which was a minimum wage retail job in itself. It couldn't have paid much more than full time at mcdonalds. Lucas described his average day of going to work, doing his grueling shift and coming back and that made him a 'robot for the fast food empire' or something to that effect. On the other hand lucas is an unreliable narrator, lies constantly and thinks the simplest job is difficult and draining . So hiding the fact he was doing part time would explain alot and fit his usual MO. The fry station sounds like exactly the kind of job that is too complicated for lucas to do properly. Even the recent walmart job he admitted he's slow as fuck and low key admitted they fired him for being too stupid to do the job

and yeah, it would explain alot about his claims about the dirt and smell. Working a deep fryer can be messy at times if you're cleaning it out or doing something stupid (and we all know how lucas cleans things.....) I wouldn't be surprised if he either fucked up the fries too many times or was told to clean the deep fryer at the end of a shift and did a horrifyingly unsanitary job about it. It would explain alot about getting demoted to hauling boxes off of trucks

Makes me wonder how lucas would react to a real job with actual difficulties and responsibilities. Even something as simple as doing a security guard job would be too much for him. He's too much of a coward, can't deal with people or control his emotions when things don't go exactly how he wants and expects them to and can't follow simple instructions. He'd get his ass fired if not arrested for doing something stupid (probably getting his ass kicked by someone in the process) Plus if you put him on a site with vulnerable people or guarding something important I don't put it past him to steal shit if he thought he could get away with it. Put him in a hospital or psych ward? He'd absolutely start shit in a hospital and in a psych ward he'd use his authority to manipulate and abuse female patients at the very first opportunity

and lucas the actual game developer would be a hilarious sight to behold. If he thought mcdonalds was grueling he can say hello to 16+ hour days, months straight of crunch time and a workload that would make a med school student gasp in shock. Not that lucas would ever have any skills to actually get such a job. Any design doc he wrote would give designers and producers fits and lucas as a programmer would be like trying to explain to a chimp how to operate a fighter jet. Just ask him to define recursion and code an example and watch him have a breakdown trying to bs his way through it
 
cyril was 'raking it in' at circuit city, which was a minimum wage retail job in itself.
depends on what he was doing. in the 90's circuit city was the place to buy appliances and if he was doing commissioned sales, he was getting $4/hr plus commission which could add up. compusa, fry's, and best buy's appliance selection was trash and they competed on price, not service/quality and the only other competitor was sears which lacked experienced staff other than very specific brands.

i worked for best buy and sears as high school summer jobs and radio shack as my first full time job before enlisting, and circuit city had comparable pay rates to radio shack where i was agonizing over which to work for but radio shack won out due to be closer, in a mall, and wanting to get deals on electronics i actually wanted.

from friends that worked fast food, anyone that any level of personal responsibility or ability to watch a timer and do a thing could do it and not fuck up. they had literal speds working there and they did good work if given breaks and supervision. how Lucas can call it a grueling day as a robot for the machine and needing alcohol and drugs to cope is something else - i can only assume he expected work to be "push button, get paid" and last only an hour at most.
 
Fast food can be a shitty and exhausting job. It's the worst aspects of customer service and food service rolled into one, but for people in their late teens- mid twenties it's not especially grueling. It's mostly dealing with shithead customers complaining about their burger, or some asshole manager on your ass about cleaning grease traps. I can't imagine making a career out of it, but most people fit the work in just fine around other responsibilities. It's certainly not working the coal mines.
 
Fast food can be a shitty and exhausting job. It's the worst aspects of customer service and food service rolled into one, but for people in their late teens- mid twenties it's not especially grueling. It's mostly dealing with shithead customers complaining about their burger, or some asshole manager on your ass about cleaning grease traps. I can't imagine making a career out of it, but most people fit the work in just fine around other responsibilities. It's certainly not working the coal mines.
that's assuming someone even wants to hold down the job in the first place, I know it would be easy for someone who needs to keep their job to put up with that, but someone who feels they're entitled to government money and shouldn't have to work bc " rich people could pay for the world" its something I've seen in my like 2 years of working, its not insane to think this was somewhat on purpose, like a 'silent protest' thing, something I've seen way too much in some retail and ff spots.
 
Tubby is worried that Elon Musk and Donald Trump are gonna take away his re-tard bux. So being a atheist socialist is the only way, the fat cow says.

Hey now, give him credit. He changed his shirt. Also, I'm pretty sure he doesn't like republicans because they're greedy and out there fucking zoomer baes. Though a just God would smite whatever programs subsist Lucas's existence.

Another well-informed Wernpost that looks like it was taken from a braindead boomer Facebook group.
Screenshot_20250311_160452_YouTube (1).jpg
Screenshot_20250311_160455_YouTube.jpg
 
He's definitely fantasized about black dudes railing his mom.

1. If true, #based.
2. He appears frustrated that his gibs may be cut. I wonder how much taxpayer money has been spent to subsist Lucas's existence.
Well, If the Creeper were to end up without a place to live he can move in with his mother Myrna down in Green Valley Az. Oh wait, he is not welcome in her home so she'd just leave him homeless in Spokane
 
Lucas thinks trumps policies are going to lead to 72 million people becoming homeless in september because of a huge amount of social security being pulled, and has the audacity to call everybody else retarded. Reminds me of the time he claimed covid was going to be a plague that was going to kill over a hundred million people in the US cause of 'christian covid sluts' 'hooking up with guys a dozen at a time' and looney shit like that

The best part is he doesn't care if anyone becomes homeless, he's made that quite clear. He is just terrified that he'll lose his gibs to new hobos. So he's making shit up and driving himself nuts out of his own delusional paranoia and stupidity
 
Lucas thinks trumps policies are going to lead to 72 million people becoming homeless in september because of a huge amount of social security being pulled, and has the audacity to call everybody else retarded. Reminds me of the time he claimed covid was going to be a plague that was going to kill over a hundred million people in the US cause of 'christian covid sluts' 'hooking up with guys a dozen at a time' and looney shit like that

The best part is he doesn't care if anyone becomes homeless, he's made that quite clear. He is just terrified that he'll lose his gibs to new hobos. So he's making shit up and driving himself nuts out of his own delusional paranoia and stupidity

This is a man who was given a lot of opportunities to better himself and just failed repeatedly.

Aside from the government feeding and clothing him, we paid for him to get an education (which he squandered). We hired job coaches to get him a minimum wage job stocking shelves and he got himself fired within a month or so.

There is nothing going on in this man's life that would preclude him from going to work and eeking out an honest living.

Way back in the day (this may have been during the Obama years) he was parroting Nancy Pelosi and saying that being on food stamps is better for the economy than actually working. He used that to deflect criticism for not finding a job. He's clung to that mentality.

Everything he does is envy those who are better off than him. Those 'Flatbills' he hates, could afford to use some of their discretionary income to buy a new hat. Those folks with a nice car, probably decided to buy a used Honda Civic to get back and forth to the job that Lucas refuses to get. We gave him an education and instead of spending that time wisely and bettering himself, he hung out in stinky pajama bottoms with autistic ass board games, and when that didn't get him laid, he would rant about how study groups with a girl were basically gangbangs waiting to happen.

He's ranting about a system that he doesn't pay into. He's never contributed anything positive in his life and I'd argue that when you're putting up attraction signs in front of High Schools, you're actually a detriment to society.
 
Way back in the day (this may have been during the Obama years) he was parroting Nancy Pelosi and saying that being on food stamps is better for the economy than actually working. He used that to deflect criticism for not finding a job. He's clung to that mentality.
Oh he stills parrots it. Lucas Werner is something of a "job creator".
Everything he does is envy those who are better off than him. Those 'Flatbills' he hates, could afford to use some of their discretionary income to buy a new hat. Those folks with a nice car, probably decided to buy a used Honda Civic to get back and forth to the job that Lucas refuses to get.
I really like it when he rants about all the people he hates are slayin' puss puss. Lucas does make an attempt to emulate them to the extent of trying to find the EZ button, i.e., his PUA weirdness. After that doesn't work, he begins ranting again about it all over again.

It's really bizarre though how he'll see certain correlations, but always come back to his default conclusions. It's either telomeres or bigots every single time. Then try to justify how his ineptitude is actually a positive. (ex. He doesn't own a car because oil is bad.), following by mad mooing. Lucas thinking that approach will work is one thing, but the fact he's been executing the same approach for 15 years with no success is insane.
 
Note this exchange from a YouTube comment earlier this week

View attachment 7089699






Imagine. 45 years old and not trusted to use a toaster oven.
Allow me to take a moment to point out that when I was working security in nursing homes even the dementia wards each had a little kitchen area separate from the actual kitchen where they cooked meals for everybody where residents could use microwaves, brew their own coffee and tea and use a toaster oven, Even had their own mini dorm fridges

Think about that. Actual dementia patients are more trusted with toaster ovens and cooking food than lucas is and his is a less secure unit. It really drives home the kind of people they have living at mallon place and just how incompetent and unsafe around basic appliances the average resident there must be

Plus you can practically feel the resentment from lucas when he points out he's not allowed a food card while he's living there. That must piss him off to no end. No toasterbortion seafood drenched in mayo and 5 kinds of salt, no roasts burned to a crisp for lucas to pick up and eat with his own hands like that picture of saturn eating his children, no pasta with a whole pack of ground beef and 3lb of cheese melted into it and worst of all - no hobo meals to show off online to attract zoomer baes. I'm a bit surprised he hasn't tried to solicit donations to do cooking videos at the nursing home. I'd give it 2 episodes before the staff and residents are ready to kill him for making an absolute disaster zone out of the staff microwave after cooking some kind of instant ramen and anchovies dish that makes the whole unit smell like burned dollar store fish and rancid cheese

Jeremiah the Bullfrog said:
This is a man who was given a lot of opportunities to better himself and just failed repeatedly.
Its worse than that. Lucas didn't just fail, he intended to fail. He didn't want to better his position because to do so would mean he'd have to get a job, find his own place to live, pay out of his pocket for his own shit, bills, etc.. so he set himself up for failure so he could justify staying a hobo taken care of by the government. and then convinces himself this is actually a good thing and that he is contributing more to society by exploiting the welfare system than by working and paying taxes

Jeremiah the Bullfrog said:
Aside from the government feeding and clothing him, we paid for him to get an education (which he squandered).
Its worse than that yet again. Remember, the resources for stuff like that are finite. Lucas getting a spot in college paid for by the government means someone else was denied the resources that he was given fuck around and gorge himself on clinkerdaggers while failing out in record time. Someone who needed it more than lucas did and may have actually used it to better themselves and become a productive member of society. He didn't just squander it he took away someone elses chance at a better life and even after fucking up his chance is still pissed off they didn't keep letting him go back to school indefinitely to exploit the system. Lucas would have loved nothing more than to play some 'i'm disabled so its discrimination to fail me and kick me out of college' bs to get the government to pay for him to go to SCC for the rest of his life while he did as little as possible, failed all his courses and used the money he got for it to bait traps for little girls and get expensive food and hotel rooms. He thought he had it made when he first started there and would ride the free education train until he got a PhD in 20 years

Jeremiah the Bullfrog said:
Everything he does is envy those who are better off than him. Those 'Flatbills' he hates, could afford to use some of their discretionary income to buy a new hat. Those folks with a nice car, probably decided to buy a used Honda Civic to get back and forth to the job that Lucas refuses to get. We gave him an education and instead of spending that time wisely and bettering himself, he hung out in stinky pajama bottoms with autistic ass board games, and when that didn't get him laid, he would rant about how study groups with a girl were basically gangbangs waiting to happen.
Exactly. and the worst part is he still feels entitled to go and do it again. Not to mention he's not even angry at the idea that these study groups and such are (in his own mind) just sitting around plotting that nights 6 coed whore orgy but that he's a student like they are, a socialist like they are, class conscious like they are, left wing like they are and lived at a homeless shelter and he's plenty of good yet he isn't being invited to join in (or introduced to these orgy groups by someone who is already part of them)

Jeremiah the Bullfrog said:
He's ranting about a system that he doesn't pay into. He's never contributed anything positive in his life and I'd argue that when you're putting up attraction signs in front of High Schools, you're actually a detriment to society.
and he never will contribute anything positive to society. Even when he had the job at walmart or the mcdonalds stuff back in the 90s the taxes he paid were a tiny drop in the bucket that don't come close to paying for what he's taken from society maliciously. The closest thing to a positive contribution will be if king roy has his body donated for army ballistics testing. Something he could probably be talked into himself if he thought he was donating himself to science to study telomeres. That would make him feel like an important scientist people were finally taking seriously for his research

HackerX said:
It's really bizarre though how he'll see certain correlations, but always come back to his default conclusions. It's either telomeres or bigots every single time. Then try to justify how his ineptitude is actually a positive. (ex. He doesn't own a car because oil is bad.), following by mad mooing. Lucas thinking that approach will work is one thing, but the fact he's been executing the same approach for 15 years with no success is insane.
Thats the funny part. He's textbook schizophrenic when it comes to seeing nonsensical patterns in things, yet never follows them to their logical (to his twisted version of logic) conclusions. Because on some level he is aware that to do that would mean those patterns and conclusions aren't what he's claiming they should be and disprove his insane ranting. He engages in the closest thing to irl crimestop from 1984 as you could ever ask for. For lucas it really is a literal application of that:

Definition:
The faculty of stopping short, as though by instinct, at the threshold of any dangerous thought, essentially, a form of protective stupidity to prevent critical thinking and dissent

Examples:
This includes the inability to grasp analogies, failure to perceive logical errors, misunderstand simple arguments that contradict the party's views, or to be bored or repelled by any train of thought that could lead to a heretical conclusion


Now tell me that doesn't describe wernthink to a T. It makes me wonder if george orwell met a few wern like people back in the day and got ideas from their stupidity. I mean really, outer party members live lives very similar to lucas. Other than the fact they are expected to work and produce children. No matter what his eyes, ears and experience tell him, no matter the obvious patters he starts to notice and even point out he still draws exactly the same conclusion every single time. I have no doubt that if lucas had an actual moment of real clarity and came to understand the truth of his situation and insane beliefs and that the problem really has been him and his behavior all this time he would have a legit psychotic break that would make gul dukat blush and would likely spend the rest of his days in a padded room in eastern state afterwards
 
Back