Celebrity Meghan Markle / Rachel Meghan Markle / Meghan, Duchess of Sussex / Meghan Sussex / The Alliterate One - Markle Snarkle

[obsdj]

And, lest we forget, she was a game show girl. A briefcase holder on Deal or No Deal.


There's an article floating around out there about how she was supposedly told to "stuff her bra" for this job, but it sure looks to me like she had bolt-ons at the time that have since been removed (she's flat as a manila envelope nowadays).

 

[Get the rope Macaulay!]

she has terrible networking skills and is, reportedly, a total bitch to work with.

from her resume i think its the exact opposite, she's amazing at networking (hence why she gets the opportunities) but when it comes to doing the actual job she falls short. Same way she has on the netflix and spotify deals.

And, lest we forget, she was a game show girl. A briefcase holder on Deal or No Deal.

she also fucked Jim Norton apparently

 

[Meghan Sparkle the Second]

thanks for the normie take, but its a lot like the normie take on Yoko Ono, not putting enough of the blame on the men. Prince Harry was always a whiny, anti-social dummy, Spare proved how psychotic he really is, touching his penis while thinking of his mother. constantly walking around in piss stained clothes, if he was a commoner instead of royalty he'd have a thread on here.

Hey retard, try to read past the first line next time.

He probably thought he could do it again with Spare, but that backfired terribly. People in 2017 were ready to hear about poor orphaned Harry complaining about his life and the paparazzi. But in 2023, they couldn't care less about a royal heir pitying himself for growing up in a castle and not being on daddy's penny anymore, when they lost their jobs and family members during the pandemic.

Harry is probably just as out of touch, but he used to be so beloved in the UK people prefer to believe he was manipulated and emasculated by Markle.

I don't hold Harry in high esteem either nor do I believe he is being brainwashed by Meghan, when I say "fall from grace" I'm talking about the public opinion on him. Whatever your own personal opinion on him is, it's not debatable that he used to be extremely popular in the public eye, especially among women.

Whether or not that's justified doesn't matter, if he didn't have royal PR he would be seen like Chris Chan, just as much as if my grandmother had wheels she would be a bike. We're not here to talk about the hypothetical.

I do agree there is a case to be made that Meghan is the scapegoat for too many things when Harry is as much to blame. Even South Park which wasn't vitriolic towards her depicted Harry as an emasculated fool under influence, who gets saved from her in the ending. But it doesn't absolve her of personal blame and narcissistic tendencies, and the thread is about her in the end.

 

[duckling]

I do agree there is a case to be made that Meghan is the scapegoat for too many things when Harry is as much to blame. Even South Park which wasn't vitriolic towards her depicted Harry as an emasculated fool under influence, who gets saved from her in the ending. But it doesn't absolve her of personal blame and narcissistic tendencies, and the thread is about her in the end.

I would agree with this take and I built the thread to shit on her. Harry has a number of things in his favor: his involvement in Invictus Games, the documentary about which is their only critically acclaimed success; his mother being the beloved, tragic Diana (although that well is running dry); the general sense that he is a dumbass and is being manipulated by Meghan when he is an adult perfectly capable of making his own dumb decisions.

Meghan has little going for her - she is the center point of all the bullying allegations (which I personally find to be the most interesting and cow-like thing about her); she has limited charisma even in a show designed to make her look good; she didn’t have decades of an entire institution running rehab PR on her.

It is truly a shame that the palace bullying investigation was buried rather than released to the public. I suspect that while she probably caused the highest turnover in the BRF while she was involved in it, I suspect that the report made Andrew look downright awful and exposed the reported explosive tempers of Charles and William.

 

[Not A Bunny]

I suspect that the report made Andrew look downright awful and exposed the reported explosive tempers of Charles and William.

People don't believe me when I say I have no ability to believe that William is somehow normal and even charming.

Andrew? Everyone knows about him.

Charles? Meh, he's old, everyone would say whatever on the notion that they're waiting for him to abdicate or die.

William, though? He's been depicted as "thr normal one" forever. If any evidence came to light about him being an asshole, it might be devastating.

 

[duckling]

William, though? He's been depicted as "thr normal one" forever. If any evidence came to light about him being an asshole, it might be devastating.

There are plenty of biographies that mention that William is an asshole and that Catherine’s main job other than being pretty is defusing him.

 

[Not A Bunny]

There are plenty of biographies that mention that William is an asshole and that Catherine’s main job other than being pretty is defusing him.

That's the thing: I'm not a reader of these biographies. I learn most of what I know about celebrities by osmosis, unless something doesn't look right, then I start asking questions.

Someone like me has been marketed to: I only see the sunshine and roses side if I'm looking passively. I've been told that the new generation of Royals are fab, stylish and with-it. I only get what The Firm puts out there, and what the mainstream press will report on their behalf.

Like Andrew, the BRF has absolutely no interest in acknowledging something they can openly deny, or avoid talking about. So, they paint a picture of this pretty family (complete with portrayal of Kate as more resplendent than any Queen-in-waiting ever).

 

[duckling]

That's the thing: I'm not a reader of these biographies. I learn most of what I know about celebrities by osmosis, unless something doesn't look right, then I start asking questions.

Someone like me has been marketed to: I only see the sunshine and roses side if I'm looking passively. I've been told that the new generation of Royals are fab, stylish and with-it. I only get what The Firm puts out there, and what the mainstream press will report on their behalf.

Like Andrew, the BRF has absolutely no interest in acknowledging something they can openly deny, or avoid talking about. So, they paint a picture of this pretty family (complete with portrayal of Kate as more resplendent than any Queen-in-waiting ever).

It’s all over the tabloids too. You’d be harder pressed to find anybody saying he’s a gem through and through.
Its is interesting, and I’m not slagging you because this is genuinely an excellent example, that this is basically proof positive that the BRF strategy of “never complain, never explain” is THE way to go. When Meghan and Harry left all the BRF had to do seethe silently and wait for Meghan to overexpose herself. They published the one “recollections may vary” statement, leaked Knauf’s bullying report, and then… essentially, silence. Harry and Meghan absolutely trashed the BRF For not running extensive PR on her behalf to improve her image in the public. 5 years on everybody is sick of her; if she had accepted their strategy, not acted like a complete bitch to Catherine and the staff, attended events for her patronages, and did a walk about with Catherine every 6 months or so, she would currently be enjoying the same favorability as W&C (75-80%) or perhaps even higher because of her association with Harry and, by extension, Invictus.

 

[Luna hates niggers]

This is shaping up to be such a good thread. I love to hate on Meghan as well as Harry. It's definitely not hard to notice how every public appearance for them is some sort of stunt to keep themselves in the limelight.

Not many people care about either of the Sussexs outside of calling them grifters, high maintenance or some sort of similar insult. She definitely never had any intentions of fitting into the royal family in the first place.

 

[Not A Bunny]

I’m not slagging you because this is genuinely an excellent example, that this is basically proof positive that the BRF strategy of “never complain, never explain” is THE way to go.

No offense taken.

I don't think I would have had the patience to go with "give Markle enough rope to hang herself with". But that's why the BRF has lasted as long as it has. The Firm, like The House, is much bigger than Markle and her spunky-girl schtick isn't going to fly.

Also, I like how they're seemingly the only famous people in the world when they're faced with being ripped to shreds in the press are all, "Yeah, but we're the BRF, you little people have nothing on us."

 

[duckling]

No offense taken.

I don't think I would have had the patience to go with "give Markle enough rope to hang herself with". But that's why the BRF has lasted as long as it has. The Firm, like The House, is much bigger than Markle and her spunky-girl schtick isn't going to fly.

It was funny watching Meghan’s big haters lose their shit demanding the BRF defend themselves, ban Meghan from QEII’s funeral, release the full bullying investigation, etc. There was a really interesting sense of entitlement to all the juicy inner workings when it was obvious that would not be happening. Even just leaking the Knauf email was huge, and well-timed coming less than a week before the Oprah interview.

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

People don't believe me when I say I have no ability to believe that William is somehow normal and even charming.

He can present as normal, which is honestly good enough in a monarch-in-waiting. Harry couldn't even get that part right.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

She allegedly tormented an assistant on a set until Jennifer Aniston intervened (unconfirmed).

Where did you see this?
I know she invited JA to her wedding, but JA didn't attend, and gave no reason why.

Not doubting you at all, I'm sort of fascinated by how rude she was to many people for being a very minor actress.

 

[duckling]

Where did you see this?
I know she invited JA to her wedding, but JA didn't attend, and gave no reason why.

Not doubting you at all, I'm sort of fascinated by how rude she was to many people for being a very minor actress.

It is unconfirmed because it is a CDAN blind. Meghan Markle is always The Alliterate One, Harry is The Ginger Haired one. The permanent a-lister is assumed to be Jennifer Aniston and the movie is assumed to be Horrible Bosses.

It’s especially funny that you mention that she’s so rude for being such a minor actress because she’s way down at 13th on the billing. I her only scene was 1 min long. https://youtu.be/idqYR1PawfY?si=Swf0mEDH_dUsHBLQ

 

[Hubelublub]

Excellent OP. MM is a reliable celebrity lolcow, I'm surprised she doesn't have her own thread already.

Mountbatton-Windsor

Mountbatton-Windsor

These two misspellings are driving me nuts though, can you fix them in the final version?

 

[duckling]

Excellent OP. MM is a reliable celebrity lolcow, I'm surprised she doesn't have her own thread already.


These two misspellings are driving me nuts though, can you fix them in the final version?

Great catch, thanks so much - I’ll be editing more this evening. Let me know if anything else sticks out.

 

[duckling]

I am not able to upload attachments either on PC or mobile right now. Meghan has a new instagram post with a picture of her in a cobalt blue, gauzy, long sleeve dress shirt, advertising a new podcast. https://www.instagram.com/p/DHJN9BrJtwG/ The caption reads,

"I’m so excited to share with you something else I’ve been working on: “Confessions of a Female Founder,” my new podcast with @lemonadamedia!
I’ve been having candid conversations with amazing women who have turned dreams into realities, and scaled small ideas into massively successful businesses. They’re opening up, sharing their tips, tricks (and tumbles), and letting me pick their brains as I build out my own business, As ever. It has been absolutely eye-opening, inspiring…and fun! (Because what’s the point if we can’t have some fun on this wild adventure?)
First episode is April 8th!"

As a brief reminder, Meghan signed a deal with Lemonada about a year ago when her Spotify deal was yoinked. And this is what she chose to crap out. Which is amazing, because everything she's founded has been a complete disaster. Aside, I read the Anna O'Brien thread every day and can no longer take the word "candid" seriously.

 

[David Floyd George]

I’ve been having candid conversations with amazing women who have turned dreams into realities, and scaled small ideas into massively successful businesses

My, what a fresh and original idea.

 

[Meghan Sparkle the Second]

As a brief reminder, Meghan signed a deal with Lemonada about a year ago when her Spotify deal was yoinked

Imagine managing to bag a prince of the British royal family and ending up signing deals with fucking Lemonada like some B-tier influencer. Girl had gold in her hands and the opportunity to become the next Diana, now she's featured next to has beens like Sam Smith, Dylan Mulvaney and Meghan Trainor. So 2017, kinda like her relevance.

How did they manage to fuck it up so bad ?

 

[FatalTater]

Spitting Image had some funny skits of M&H on it.

https://www.youtube.com/@SpittingImage/videos

Neither of them seem especially bright, do they? The inability to be patient with anything, bucking convention with a toddler's air of "I do it myself!" at every turn.
I can't wait to see what they mess up next.