Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[The Hardest R]

Realizing she's the token fatass is actually more self-awareness from her than I expected.

I’m sure the withering glances from the Italians and Swiss reinforced that for her. Tubbers definitely would not be used to European directness.

She said that 2024 nearly ba-roke her but she never specified how and I’m sure we will never know the whole story. Despite her narcissistic delusions, 2024 gave her many narc injuries that I’m sure she is still reeling from today.

GLP-1s hadn't caught on yet so all the fat fucks chose to just cope about it, hence the popularity of HAES/body positivity/fat feminism.

GLP-1 was the death knell of HAES bullshit. We all saw the stampede of fatties looking to get on Ozempic. For all the talk about loving and nourishing your body with junk food, the moment there was a solution to obesity, that melted away. Even though Ozempic is not a miracle drug, it exposed what fatties really thought about being obese when there was a drug that touted significant weight loss as a goal.

It’s a total refutation of everything Tess is about. The only ones “celebrating” fatness in our current year are the ones trying to profit off of it.

 

[Cherry Milk]

Do we think she's made any of those candles yet?

 

[PatrickButtmanJr.]

This is the only thought that goes through her head all day as she perpetually gulps down sugar slurries and slathers her face with slime.

"I rolled out of bed without breaking the frame again. I deserve a whole box of Krispy Kremes"

"I managed to walk from my front door to the mailbox and back again without passing out from exhaustion. This calls for a gallon of ice cream"

"I was able to use the bathroom without spraying crap all over the toilet. That means I should reward myself with a triple bacon cheeseburger"

I noticed that Tess hasn't posted any "workout"* videos ever since Flabletics dropped her like radioactive waste. I guess going to the gym is only worth it if gets her sponsor deals or an excuse to photograph herself in the proximity of ACTUAL celebrities.

*if you can call lying on your back and flailing like a tipped over cow a form of exercise

 

[RainbowStarlight]

I called this. Not too long ago, myself and a few other farmers. She was going to snap her ankle/knee etc or something and become bedridden for an unknown amount of time. If you thought she gained a significant amount of weight in the last year just you wait.

She is blaming her "big juicy ass" for ripping a ligament in her leg, whatever TF that means.

 

[The Queen of Autists]

She thinks it’s clever but it’s two cherries and not one. It’s actually perfect for her.

TESS HLLIDAY would be much more appropriate.

TESS HLLIDAY would be even better.

She should go back to Munster and put a fat female Frankenstein head on the U I can’t do it but if anybody can do it easily I’d love to see that.

Edit to add: the Munster should have red hair and bangs like hers

 

[Attractive Sexhaver]

JFC if you think she's fat now, just wait until she spends a good few months on bed rest with special little treats to cope with the frustration and depression. We are going to look back on everything before this as Tess' "thin days." In a few years, they could very well have to cut the wall out of her apartment to get her out of there.

 

[( ◠‿◠ )]

Do we think she's made any of those candles yet?

I believe she had someone else make them for her and then she ate them.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I called this. Not too long ago, myself and a few other farmers. She was going to snap her ankle/knee etc or something and become bedridden for an unknown amount of time. If you thought she gained a significant amount of weight in the last year just you wait.

She is blaming her "big juicy ass" for ripping a ligament in her leg, whatever TF that means.
View attachment 7098202

Poor Bowie.
We know Tess will be running that little boy ragged:
"Bowie, go get mommy some ice cream out of the freezer."
"Bowie, put the clothes in the washer, and put them in the dryer and fold them when they're done."
"Bowie, come help mommy wipe her butt."

 

[Cherry Milk]

JFC if you think she's fat now, just wait until she spends a good few months on bed rest with special little treats to cope with the frustration and depression. We are going to look back on everything before this as Tess' "thin days." In a few years, they could very well have to cut the wall out of her apartment to get her out of there.

Poor Bowie is going to have to be her carer, I guess

 

[Turquoise]

"Bowie, come help mommy wipe her butt."

Lest you didn't know...

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Lest you didn't know...

I hope she uses one, but I've seen too many episodes of My 600 Pound Life to know better.

 

[CoolFool]

This might sound mean or snarky but I'm not joking. I hope she dies very soon because I feel terrible for Bowie and don't want him to have to take care of Tessy longer than he has to. He has suffered enough already.

 

[Turquoise]

I hope she uses one, but I've seen too many episodes of My 600 Pound Life to know better.

What do they do on there? Have someone else wipe for them? Hosepipe? Nowipe?

 

[Cheesegirl78]

What do they do on there? Have someone else wipe for them? Hosepipe? Nowipe?

Have other people wipe them.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

I hope she uses one, but I've seen too many episodes of My 600 Pound Life to know better.

I just watched a video about the worst parents on My 600 Pound Life and it's a heartbreaking look into Bowie's future.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I called this. Not too long ago, myself and a few other farmers. She was going to snap her ankle/knee etc or something and become bedridden for an unknown amount of time. If you thought she gained a significant amount of weight in the last year just you wait.

She is blaming her "big juicy ass" for ripping a ligament in her leg, whatever TF that means.
View attachment 7098202

I’m surprised it took her this long to experience this. She was unable to get up from the floor unassisted almost ten years ago. That was at least two hundred pounds lighter. Huge F to all the medical professionals that had to move her (even via a sling a la LifeByJen).

JFC if you think she's fat now, just wait until she spends a good few months on bed rest with special little treats to cope with the frustration and depression. We are going to look back on everything before this as Tess' "thin days." In a few years, they could very well have to cut the wall out of her apartment to get her out of there.

Hell, look at the first photo in the OP versus a recent one. They’re barely the same person between the weight gain and face fillers. She’s going to gain so quickly because she will refuse to get up for longer than it takes to get to the toilet and back, if that. Poor, poor Bowie.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I called this. Not too long ago, myself and a few other farmers. She was going to snap her ankle/knee etc or something and become bedridden for an unknown amount of time. If you thought she gained a significant amount of weight in the last year just you wait.

Oh I don't know. I think this will totally be her wake up call that her massive weight is causing untold injuries on her body and she needs to change now before it gets worse.

Spoiler

 

[Chongqing]

Can any medical kiwis wager a guess as to whether she will ever walk again?

I'm not feeling optimistic about this.

 

[The Hardest R]

I called this. Not too long ago, myself and a few other farmers. She was going to snap her ankle/knee etc or something and become bedridden for an unknown amount of time. If you thought she gained a significant amount of weight in the last year just you wait.

She is blaming her "big juicy ass" for ripping a ligament in her leg, whatever TF that means.
View attachment 7098202

Welp, it begins, her bedridden arc. A few weeks ago I called it as her “Dark Tubbers arc.”

 

[Troonos]

I called this. Not too long ago, myself and a few other farmers. She was going to snap her ankle/knee etc or something and become bedridden for an unknown amount of time. If you thought she gained a significant amount of weight in the last year just you wait.

She is blaming her "big juicy ass" for ripping a ligament in her leg, whatever TF that means.
View attachment 7098202

Hopefully fatal.