Kelly Lenza / LividLipids / softbodytendermind / ass_child / photopotamus - "Radical body liberationist”, Intentionally Repulsive, Uber woke middle-aged SJW influencer wannabe, doxed her former therapist for getting WLS, ate her way to heart failure

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

Not sure if the specific nature of mental or emotional issues her girls have but it’s pretty clear they’re running the show. There is just so much passive aggressive bullshit running through her self pitying screed.

Her job supposedly, is running the house and we often hear how HARD that is. Why? Her girls are in school, not in diapers and should be following a basic daily routine.

I’ll happily acknowledge being a SAHM can get monotonous as hell but she’s not running a particle accelerator.

I notice she didn’t mention her dubious extracurricular activities. I wonder why?

Literally nothing unusual happened in her extended tale of home life. Oh, no, kids want food.

If she weren’t distracted all the time, she a normal person could deftly handle those kids. She could also put dishes in the dishwasher daily and not have making eggs such a struggle bc she has to wash a pan before using it.

What she described was 30-40 minutes over two days.

And lol, I haven’t eaten in half a day, my ED.

I understand burnout, but she experiences stress over normal things it bc her mind is elsewhere.

She’s absolutely selfish and disgusting.

 

[Angry New Ager]

This is,what happens when a chaotic, self-absorbed, neglectful human has kids they turned out to not really want. The kids have no schedule and no order in their lives (because their mother sees it as an imposition), and have learned that if they want their mother's attention they have to hound and nag her, and pitch fits if she continues to ignore them. All of which makes her feel even more resentful of them.

 

[stupid frog]

every time I check on her out of curiosity is whenever she posts her rants or some weird shit. I proceed to end up here and feeling regarded cuz I don’t even check on her that often. I just got ESP to her own fart huffing rants or something.
anyway, enjoy this. this one has so much to pick that but all I can say is:
if she has an eating disorder then everyone else must be fat.
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If anyone wants to post the text pls do. my computer and kiwi aren’t getting along rn

Wow Kelly, it must be hard having twin 2 year olds! Oh except that's not what you have at all. So you just didn't bother parenting them? And it kinda sounds like you still aren't.

 

[LonesomeDud]

I don't want to alarm anyone, but I fainted around the eighth paragraph. I'm okay, but how is Kelly doing, for those of us who need a recap, but don't want to read anymore Kelly?

 

[fagnarok]

From the way she’s always talked about the oldest the oldest def has some emotional regulation issues plus is homeschooled still. I think apart of the reason may be never being told no. I don’t know. I can’t imagine being raised by Kelly would make any kid healthy mentally or physically.

From what Kelly herself describes here, she always manages to tell her kids "no" in the most inappropriate, chaotic, self-martyring, dysregulated, dickish way possible.

Her kids are constantly dysregulated, act like everything is a crisis, and always think they are dying over the slightest things because that's the behavior Kelly has always modeled for them.

She has never understood that, will never understand it, and is not functional enough to do anything about it even if she did. So it isn't going to change unless one of the kids grows up enough to humble herself completely, admit "I have no idea what I'm doing," and seek outside help from the ground up once she leaves home.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Fucking fucksticks, still no text:

Spoiler: Lemme toss myself into the pyre. aka: here's the text

I typed up this example of one of the reasons why I struggle to care for myself on a daily basis for my bud and figured I would put it here for posterity.

Like here’s what happens: kid #1 asks for eggs at 7:45 PM last night. We say last bedtime snacks before 8 PM. I was eating a very late dinner after not eating anything for half a day. Not anyone’s fault but my own ED I guess but I struggle with it. Anyway I cleaned up kid #1’s messes from eating a bunch of dilly bars that she peeled all the coating off of and replaced with huge puddles of Hershey’s syrup like multiple times. But she feels hunger and boredom at level 11 starvation panic even though she eats all day long.

So she’s freaking out and I’m like, “No, I will not make you scrambled eggs because I am eating my dinner.” She’s like, “I haven’t eaten all day,” screaming, freaking out. I’m like “You have been eating all day and I have to feed myself. Sorry.” So we say eggs in the morning.

This morning I get up and spouse is bustling around getting ready to leave for a week-long work trip so I have to wait for the bathroom and stuff. Takes a while. I make a cup of home coffee, which I haven’t done in a while. But kid #1’s hounding me about the eggs and kid #2 is hounding me for a turn with the computer.

So I say “OKAY I HAVE TO DRINK MY COFFEE, we are setting a timer.” 20 minutes for me to finish coffee and computer. Then I will make kid #1 eggs and kid #2 can use the computer. So my timer goes off and kid #2 is immediately at my shoulder harrying me as I lock up my profile. But she is also trying to hand me hot dogs, wanting hot dogs. My phone is screaming with the alarm I have set for midmorning reminding me to eat something because that’s one of the ways I manage to do it. Kid #1 and kid #2 both get in the kitchen whining while I am getting the egg pan washed, etc. Kid #1’s wanting to help by taking all the eggs out of the carton and putting them rolling around on the counter where they will roll off and crack. Kid #2 is talking about ???? plus hot dogs.

So I’m like “Okay, everyone out please.” Kid #2 is wanting to help make the eggs and I would like her to, but have to say no because kid #1 will only eat scrambled eggs if the chunks are SPECIFIC SHAPES. So I have to say no but I explain why.

While I am getting frozen bread out of the freezer and discovering that someone fucked up my loaf of specialty bread that I got for myself as a treat and they left it fucked up inside the breadbox 6___9 auuughhh ED trigger shit.

So I get the toast going while the pan is gently heating. I get the eggs cracked in a bowl but it’s too small because I haven’t done the dishes in 4 days because I’ve been pushing myself too hard doing everything else that needed to be done and am now in a PEM flare. Kid #2 wants to help scramble so I let her do that and pour the eggs in the pan. I overcook the eggs slightly which means for me they have a terrible texture and because a medication I started recently has given me awful farts that smell like eggs. So I don’t really want to eat them. Chug the eggs anyway because I have to eat something and the eggs are expensive and rare.

Make my toast. Sit down to eat my toast and sip the last of my coffee. Kid #2 reminds me she wants hot dogs.

This is how my day ends up getting eaten up by kid care and crisis mitigation and I don’t get time to take care of myself. I just roll from one minor crisis to another for my disabled family. This is how primary caregivers struggle to find time for themselves and why I just end up pushing myself until I crash and can’t do anymore. Because like, when your kid is absolutely losing their shit suffering because they can’t have scrambled eggs or hot dogs or go to a store or whatever RIGHT NOW they feel like they are dying. Like of course I want to always choose doing what I can to help my kid avoid getting dysregulated and despairing. But then I end up burned out. Like I have been for like. Two years.

So I am having to be really purposeful about setting timers and small boundaries with kids and spouse so I can eat, shit, shower, go to the doctor, and do hobbies that keep me from wanting to die. But it’s really hard, and my family hates it because I have been co-regulating with them as much as I humanly can then flip out in the middle of the night hating my disabled trans life because I wasn’t living as my self. I have been living as a tool - a tool for my family, a tool for people to enjoy hating, a tool for the world to use.

I am tired of offering my body as an apology - offering my service as a stand-in for my value. I love to take care of people. I am my own person and don’t feel a lack of like, internal content, but I also love holding myself open for people to deposit like. Special interest dumps and Big Feelings and complex thoughts and stuff. It feels good. I like to offer care and kindness to people because I think it’s the right thing to do and it feels good. I want to be a mom, I want to be a wife, I always have wanted those things.

It is so tricky to be needing to heal from caregiving burnout while still needing and wanting to give care. My best friends know this stuff about me too and hesitate to ask me for help or support sometimes and honestly, heartbreaking because I love my friends so much and want to be there for them. I WANT to give people what they need and want. I want to connect with people through offering to collaborate with them on what they need. I am not viewing it as a gift from me; it is us connecting together. I don’t want my friends to feel like they’re adding to my burnout because they are not. I don’t want my family to feel like they are contributing to it because it’s not their fault that we are in the situation we are in, and I love them deeply.
I am not sure how to thread the needle of communicating to people that yes, time and energy are my most precious personal resources, but I choose to share them because I love people and because it makes my life good and in my biggest hopes, it makes life for other people good, too.

TL,DR: Kelly bitches about having to do things like scramble eggs and nuke fucking hot dogs because she can't trust her feral crotch goblins to do so for themselves despite them being school age. The kids have never heard the word 'no' uttered to them and behave like vile little gremlins, screaming to get what they want and it makes Kelly a naval-gazing lump who focuses on how everything affects her sad-brains. She claims to want to be there for others, but we all know this is narc-self-serving 'let me feel good about myself by knowing you depend on me to be there for you. I am the center of the fucking universe.'

Blah blah blah.

Kelly is insufferable. And so is her grammar. I tried to stay true to what she wrote, but I couldn't help but slip in a few (dozen) corrections.

 

[often puzzled]

every time I check on her out of curiosity is whenever she posts her rants or some weird shit. I proceed to end up here and feeling regarded cuz I don’t even check on her that often. I just got ESP to her own fart huffing rants or something.
anyway, enjoy this. this one has so much to pick that but all I can say is:
if she has an eating disorder then everyone else must be fat.
View attachment 7100750View attachment 7100752View attachment 7100753View attachment 7100754
If anyone wants to post the text pls do. my computer and kiwi aren’t getting along rn

eta: should have refreshed; DCL beat me with the copy-paste.

Spoiler: text

I typed up this example of one of the reasons why i struggle to care for myself on a daily basis for my bud and figured i would put it here for posterity.
like here's what happens: kid #1 asks for eggs at 7:45pm last night. we say last bedtime snacks before 8pm. i was eating a very late dinner after not eating anything for half a day. not anyone's fault but my own ED i guess but i struggle with it. anyway i cleaned up kid #1's messes from eating a bunch of dilly bars that she peeled all the coating off of and replaced with huge puddles of hershey's syrup like multiple times. but she feels hunger and boredom at level 11 starvation panic even tho she eats all day long.

so she's freaking out and i'm like. no. i will not make you scrambled eggs because i am eating my dinner. she's like i haven't eaten all day, screaming freaking out. i'm like you have been eating all day and i have to feed myself. sorry. so we say eggs in the morning.

this morning i get up and spouse is bustling around getting ready to leave for a week-long work trip so i have to wait for the bathroom and stuff. takes a while. i make a cup of home coffee, which i haven't done in a while. but kid #1's hounding me about the eggs and kid #2 is hounding me for a turn with the computer.
so i say OKAY I HAVE TO DRINK MY COFFEE, we are setting a timer. 20 minutes for me to finish coffee and computer. then i will make kid #1 eggs and kid #2 can use the computer. so my timer goes off and kid #2 is immediately at my shoulder harrying me as i lock up my profile. but she is also trying to hand me hot dogs, wanting hot dogs. my phone is screaming with the alarm i have set for midmorning reminding me to eat something bcuz that’s one of the ways i manage to do it. kid #1 and kid #2 both get in the kitchen whining while i am getting the egg pan washed, etc. kid #1's wanting to help by taking all the eggs out of the carton and put them rolling around on the counter where they will roll off and crack. kid #2 is talking about ???? plus hot dogs

so i'm like okay, everyone out please. kid #2 is wanting to help make the eggs and i would like her to, but have to say no bcuz kid #1 will only eat scrambled eggs if the chunks are SPECIFIC SHAPES. so i have to say no but i explain why.

while i am getting frozen bread out of the freezer and discovering that someone fucked up my loaf of specialty bread that i got for myself as a treat and they left it fucked up inside the breadbox 6___9 auuughhh ED trigger shit

so i get the toast going while the pan is gently heating. i get the eggs cracked in a bowl but it's too small because i haven't done the dishes in 4 days bcuz i’ve been pushing myself too hard doing everything else that needed to be done and am now in a PEM flare. kid #2 wants to help scramble so i let her do that and pour the eggs in the pan. i overcook the eggs slightly which means for me they have a terrible texture and because a medication i started recently has given me awful farts that smell like eggs. so i don't really want to eat them. chug the eggs anyway bcuz i have to eat something and the eggs are expensive and rare.
make my toast. sit down to eat my toast and sip the last of my coffee. kid #2 reminds me she wants hot dogs.

this is how my day ends up getting eaten up by kid care and crisis mitigation and i don't get time to take care of myself. I just roll from one minor crisis to another for my disabled family. This is how primary caregivers struggle to find time for themselves and why i just end up pushing myself until i crash and can’t do anymore. Cuz like, when your kid is absolutely losing their shit suffering because they can’t have scrambled eggs or hot dogs or go to a store or whatever RIGHT NOW they feel like they are dying. Like of course i want to always choose doing what i can to help my kid avoid getting dysregulated and despairing. But then i end up burned out. Like i have been for like. Two years.

So i am having to be really purposeful about setting timers and small boundaries w kids and spouse so i can eat, shit, shower, go to the doctor, and do hobbies that keep me from wanting to die. But it’s really hard, and my family hates it bcuz i have been co-regulating with them as much as i humanly can and then flip out in the middle of the night hating my disabled trans life bcuz i wasn’t living as myself. I have been living as a tool - a tool for my family, a tool for people to enjoy hating, a tool for the world to use.

I am tired of offering my body as an apology - offering my service as a stand-in for my value. I love to take care of people. I am my own person and don’t feel a lack of like, internal content, but I also love holding myself open for people to deposit like. Special interest dumps and Big Feelings and complex thoughts and stuff. It feels good. I like to offer care and kindness to people bcuz i think it’s the right thing to do and it feels good. I want to be a mom, i want to be a wife, i always have wanted those things.

It is so tricky to be needing to heal from caregiving burnout while still needing and wanting to give care. My best friends know this stuff about me too and hesitate to ask me for help or support sometimes and honestly, heartbreaking bcuz. I love my friends so much and want to be there for them, i WANT to give people what they need and want. I want to connect w people thru offering to collaborate w them on what they need. i am not viewing it as a gift from me; it is us connecting together. I don’t want my friends to feel like they’re adding to my burnout bcuz they are not. i don't want my family to feel like they are contributing to it bcuz it's not their fault that we are in the situation we are in. and i love them deeply.

I am not sure how to thread the needle of communicating to people that yes, time and energy are my most precious personal resources. But i choose to share them bcuz i love people and bcuz it makes my life good and in my biggest hopes, it makes life for other people good, too.

I don't want to alarm anyone, but I fainted around the eighth paragraph. I'm okay, but how is Kelly doing, for those of us who need a recap, but don't want to read anymore Kelly?

Have some fried chicken and see if that perks you up. tl;dr is that Kelly's kids are wildly unparented, and Kelly's complaining about it. She totally wants to be a good and helpful person but is so so so self-sacrificing that she's burned out and has the sads.

I mean, seriously. It's very obvious that there are a million parenting failures that brought everything to this point. The older kid may indeed have some sort of issues, but literally nothing and no one in her life is helping her navigate them. It's not her fault.

I had to google Dilly Bars, but they're an ice cream treat. Why do they even have these in the house if a kid likes to eat them all day-- covered in bonus chocolate syrup-- instead of eating actual meals? Saying "no Dilly Bars until behavior improves" isn't going to cause an eating disorder. And do I understand correctly that one child is demanding hot dogs at breakfast? The diabetic one, even? I can't imagine how chaotic and disorganized that house is. I might be tempted to stress-eat ice cream bars myself. Those poor kids.

 

[stupid frog]

I had to google Dilly Bars, but they're an ice cream treat.

The fact she let her kid just eat these "all day" is also wild. No wonder they're so fucking fat.

 

[LonesomeDud]

Thank you, @Diet Coke 4 Life . I guess all her Grindr boyfriends dried up.

 

[YouTube Autist]

Anyway I cleaned up kid #1’s messes from eating a bunch of dilly bars that she peeled all the coating off of and replaced with huge puddles of Hershey’s syrup like multiple times. But she feels hunger and boredom at level 11 starvation panic even though she eats all day long.

If your neighbor plays music at full blast and refuses to turn it down, you have my sympathy, because your neighbor's behavior is out of your control. If your child is messily devouring huge piles of candy all day, you do not have my sympathy, because that is something that is in your control. Where did the candy come from? You bought it. Why does your child leave puddles of chocolate syrup around the house? Because you let her.

Kelly talks like God teleported her into her current circumstances, like she had no hand in creating the conditions she's currently whingeing about. She plays up the bad behavior of the kids thinking it will make her look like a bigger martyr.

spouse is bustling around getting ready to leave for a week-long work trip

Lucky spouse.

the alarm I have set for midmorning reminding me to eat something because that’s one of the ways I manage to do it

Pfffffft

I have been living as a tool - a tool for my family, a tool for people to enjoy hating, a tool for the world to use.

I'm sorry, aren't you a fat, unemployed woman living an upper-middle-class lifestyle? For a second there I thought I was reading the memoirs of an Auschwitz inmate.

 

[VinegarPussy]

I don’t want to mom shame but this bitch needs mom shamed: kids want what they want when they want it (even with structure and boundaries, the Vinegar Kitten will want what he wants, the difference is I don’t allow him to dictate the household mechanics to me). I don’t let him eat shit food all day, have me make food only to decide he won’t eat it and wants new food, bird dog me up and down the house about stuff, etc. I do this because I love him and it’s my job to set boundaries because he’s a little dude. He lost a privilege tonight because he wanted to act like a feral goblin instead of a within normal limits rambunctious little kid. He gets it back tomorrow and I explained why he lost it so he understands I’m not just being a bitch. We talked about it. I treat him like a human and he generally acts like one.

Kelly doesn’t even work in addition to kids. Lots of single parents do this shit with a disability and without any of the cushy suburban housewife shit she claims to reject but enjoys. Give me top hats but this particular screed grinds my gears.

Lots of parents do a whole fucking lot more with a lot less of everything: support, “spoons,” money, time, a second parent in the household, midnight tendies…

 

[sperginity]

Anyway I cleaned up kid #1’s messes from eating a bunch of dilly bars that she peeled all the coating off of and replaced with huge puddles of Hershey’s syrup like multiple times. But she feels hunger and boredom at level 11 starvation panic even though she eats all day long

The entire rant has the exact same fucking root cause: she doesn't make her kids do anything, ever, and then is upset that she ends up doing everything instead. Why the fuck would these kids learn to do anything? Learning how to wash a pan or clean a mess is what miserable people like kelly are up to, after all. Why do it yourself when you can just scream until someone does whatever you want? that is how she structured her home life, these results are entirely predictable.

” Kid #2 is wanting to help make the eggs and I would like her to, but have to say no because kid #1 will only eat scrambled eggs if the chunks are SPECIFIC SHAPES. So I have to say no but I explain why.

A perfect, golden opportunity arrived despite the perverse incentives in the household, and kelly has thrown away for the dumbest reason imaginable. If your kid is that picky they need to make their own eggs. If they can't then they can make something else themselves.

Because like, when your kid is absolutely losing their shit suffering because they can’t have scrambled eggs or hot dogs or go to a store or whatever RIGHT NOW they feel like they are dying. Like of course I want to always choose doing what I can to help my kid avoid getting dysregulated and despairing. But then I end up burned out. Like I have been for like. Two years.

I have met less than a dozen parents who have a similar philosophy, and all of them are huge fans of describing shitty behavior as being "dysregulated". Its bullshit. They think the choices we all make are a perfect correlation with an inner emotional state, when literally no one lives like that. All of them have fucked up their kids in some permanent way. The parents I know who act like this have all made huge sacrifices in order to ensure their kids are ill equipped for dealing with life outside their immediate family.

 

[stupid frog]

Why do it yourself when you can just scream until someone does whatever you want?

W I P E M E

 

[Berserker Armor]

Fucking fucksticks, still no text:

Thank you (and puzzled!) for posting. Turns out my issue was an internet issue. I came into post the text then saw you and puzzled got me

The fact she let her kid just eat these "all day" is also wild. No wonder they're so fucking fat.

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what has been on my mind since reading this: your oldest child got out multiple. Not just one. Multiple. Ice cream treats and just ate the chocolate off of it then proceeded to SMOTHER in chocolate syrup. Her oldest is 9 right? Just allowed her to do it? Just. cleaned up her mess. Like Christ. I don’t know how both of these girls don’t have diabetes. One already does who knows how the other doesn’t.

I don’t want to mom shame but this bitch needs mom shamed

By default, I support mom shaming lolcows..

do I understand correctly that one child is demanding hot dogs at breakfast? The diabetic one, even? I can't imagine how chaotic and disorganized that house is.

Yes you read that correctly. That sounds like more of a “you can have a hot dog for lunch tomorrow” type of compromise then a “hot dogs for breakfast” compromise. from my understanding of diabetes you really need to be careful of what you are eating. I don’t think hot dogs are the best thing but I fear the other stuff Kelly likely lets her eat is not any better.

I want to be a mom, I want to be a wife, I always have wanted those things.

I want to draw attention to this real quick. it’s the one thing out of this rant I can’t stop thinking about. She says but she in no way seems to actually want it. She never has. Fuck she’s basically implied it over and over. Who does she think she’s fooling?

 

[stupid frog]

I want to be a mom

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Lipids is a hypocrite once again. Not that long ago, she posted this as a joke:
View attachment 1366024View attachment 1366025

 

[brooky]

But she feels hunger and boredom at level 11 starvation panic even though she eats all day long.

I have a feeling everybody in this family feels "level 11 starvation panic" at the slightest twinge of hunger. That's how she's raised the girls to understand what regular daily hunger is-- level 11 panic!!

There is no normal in this household.

Also this was a lot of fucking words to say "made the kids eggs this morning; my kitchen is a mess but I'm tired."

Spoiler: pl tmi

A few months ago my therapist pointed out that the reason I feel so mentally exhausted a lot of the time is because of my constant self-talk. I kind of already knew that, but he pointed it out in a way that finally got through to me, and I've been catching myself in those negative thought-vortices more often, and seeing how much time and energy is wasted in them.

My life hasn't changed drastically or anything, but it's become easier sometimes to say "okay time to stop arguing with myself and just do the damn dishes."

Sometimes there's a seed in Kelly's posts that I find sympathetic but she just... takes it to such extremes. Just do the damn dishes, Kelly. You'll probably still feel like shit but at least you'll be able to cook for your kids the next time they need to be fed.

Also, I'm not a parent, but is it hard to feed your kids breakfast before you feed yourself? They just wanted fucking eggs. If they're too little to actually help with cooking (and it seems like they are old enough) then IDK it seems like an easy solution to this would be to feed them first and then be able to eat your own food in peace.

Or, like, eat a healthy meal together or whatever.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

All I have to say is...

Hot dogs: 45 seconds on a plate in the microwave. Done. Give the kid a squirt of ketchup and/or mustard if the kid likes it. This takes an additional 10 seconds. Hot dogs done in less than a minute.

Scrambled eggs: <10 seconds to scramble in a bowl with a fork. Pour into a pan, scramble as they cook, less than 2 minutes. If you're coordinated enough (which anyone with a non-negative double-digit IQ should be), you can do scrambled eggs and hot dogs at the same time! Wow!

Both kids provided for in under 3 minutes. Amazing.

And yes, always take care of the kid before the self. I dunno, it's fucking second nature to serve up my fucking goblin's plate before my own, and goblin is stomping through adolescence.

Goblin also can cook basic bitch shit. Hot dogs or scrambled eggs desired? Cook that your own damned self.

 

[a hapless toad]

I learned to make my own damn breakfast (including scrambled eggs) before I was tall enough to see the top of the stove, but that's what step stools are for.

Teach your children to take care of their own needs. Yes it's good to provide for them to show them they are loved and cared for, but knowing they can provide for themselves is a part of growing as a person and taking pride in your abilities.

She's creating two little failures in her own image.

 

[brooky]

Imagine being an anxious, diabetic child in a messy, chaotic household, begging your mother for breakfast, and she says "No, Mom eats first" and you literally have to sit there and watch this 600 pound slug eat until satiety before she deigns to shove a hot dog in the microwave for you.

It's like she's doing everything possible to give her kids eating disorders, on top of everything else.

 

[stupid frog]

I learned to make my own damn breakfast (including scrambled eggs) before I was tall enough to see the top of the stove, but that's what step stools are for.

Teach your children to take care of their own needs. Yes it's good to provide for them to show them they are loved and cared for, but knowing they can provide for themselves is a part of growing as a person and taking pride in your abilities.

She's creating two little failures in her own image.

They'll either end up entitled or humiliated until they learn. I guess it depends on when they are able to accept Kelly is abusing them.