beanbag in a hurry
Got sick of the ALR pic, look at this cat instead.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2019
Alexandra Rodriguez / Alexandra Irene Thomas / Learning to be Fearless - pathological liar, fake BoPo advocate, professional dropout, apex consumer, great big fatty, now a mother
- Thread starter often puzzled
- Start date
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
Here, have a shitty archive (courtesy of TOR, because .st is refusing to load this morning. All hail the onion):
ETA:
Greets us by welcoming us to her new blog. Anderson’s playing in an upright play stand off camera and smacking shit around.
Going to make chicken Alfredo and wants to try a ‘new’ method to make ‘juicy chicken’ because apparently she ‘makes (her) chicken like this’ and she wants to spread the word. Because her followers are apparently dumb as a rock and incapable of doing their own research.
She gives us the ‘awesome’ secret to juicy chicken - sear it in a pan, then add water and cover it with a lid to steam cook it.
FFS, please people, there’s ways to steam cook a bird, and doing it with fucking water ain’t it. Not unless you don’t believe in seasoned chicken.
She blathers about getting her hair done the next day. Trying to find ‘inspo’ pics. Because she can’t describe shit. Makes a ‘protein sodie’ which makes me wanna smack her.
She doesn’t have Hello Fresh, so she’s making chicken Alfredo - aka: she has pasta (IT’S SHO GUUUUD), a jar of Alfredo sauce, broccoli, baguettes that are pre-sliced and flavored (SHO GUUD) and chicken breast.
My brain is slowly dying as she makes her chicken. Salt, powder, garlic and onion powder, paprika. But… she didn’t season the side she laid down in the pan first. She seasons the side that’s up… then flips the already seared breast filets and seasons the side… that’s seared. So that seasoning isn’t seared onto the meat, it’s just… sitting there. Aaaaauuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh. And now she’s poured water into the pan and has it covered in the pan.
Beer break. Because I can’t watch her mangle this shit.
Pasta cooked, she adds the ENTIRE jar of Alfredo. Pulls her chicken out of the pan to ‘let it rest’ on a cutting board. Instead of, ya know, not drowning it in water that washed 90% of her seasoning off her chicken and letting it rest in the pan. Fucking dunce.
Yeah, fuck her cooking shit. I can’t. Just gonna happily drink until something else comes on.
Serving, Yar is making Chewbacca sounds.
Next day. She’s going to go get her hair done. She still doesn’t have any hair ideas. Alex is a dunderhead who can’t use her words to describe her fucking hair. She plunks around on her phone to find a TikToker with good hair that she wants to copy.
Going to have ‘a little mommy time’ as she sits and watches YouTube while doing her makeup. Da fuk.
Makeup montage. Always fun seeing just how much her foundation on her face clashes with the rest of her skin. Looks like a terrible attempt at geisha makeup.
Her hair is now blond. I’ll say that it doesn’t look bad, but her filter is going absolutely fucking nuts. (Don’t trust me on hair, though - I have no sense of style.)
It feels SHO GUUUD to be fully back blond.
Ugh, the more she touches it the rattier it looks. STOP IT.
Shills her outfit. Literally drawstring pants and a square neck t-shirt.
Proclaims she feels like herself now that she’s blond again. Anderson’s down for a nap, so she’s going to ‘chill out for a bit’ and going to watch more fucking television. I have no idea about any of these shows and give precisely zero shits.
Next day. Saturday family trip to Barnes & Noble. ‘So nostalgic coming here for some reason.’ She asks what book everyone’s reading right now, says she can’t read the Handmaiden’s Tale right now, then talks about how everyone needs to either read or listen to the audiobook for ‘The Let Them Theory.’ Never heard of it. Quick glance online tells me that it’s an Oprah-endorsed self-help book. I think I shall instead continue to read ‘I, Robot’, thank you very much.
Alex proclaims she’s into audiobooks because they’ve been walking a lot. Ya know, instead of gorging yourself on YouTube and TV shows, you could always… read. It’s amazing.
…. Pardon me. I am dying. She just recognized Hodor and picks up ‘Beyond the Throne’… then says they need to make a spin-off series. While holding ‘Beyond the Throne.’ Meaning she’s likely in the vicinity of other ‘Game of Thrones’ books. Has she never picked up ‘Fire and Blood’?
I know, I know. It’s stupid to assume she reads. She specifically says she wants to watch it, so… she wants to watch the House of the Dragon series that’s based on ‘Fire and Blood’ I guess…?
My brain, it hurts.
Yar tries to get her to look at cookbooks. She bobbles over and starts flipping through one, spazzing about pigeon pie.
Then she goes over to the gift section because fuck books.
‘Babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’
At least Yar’s shooting down some of her consoooomerism. She tries to get him to get a keyboard coozie shelf (one of those fucking things you put shit onto and slide your keyboard underneath when you’re not using it - pointless desk clutter) and he goes ‘noooooo.’
Alex spergs about the fucking joke memo pads. CONSOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
Alex complains that she tries to read to Anderson, but he doesn’t care about it. Then cuts to her at home - they’re going to go visit Yar’s family, and she’s going to go bake browned butter chocolate chip cookies and eat food.
All the way to night, it’s 2030, Anderson’s in bed, she’s ‘pooped’. They had fun with Yar’s ‘fam’. She spergs about how awesome browned butter cookies are. Then she goes on and on about the shit she’s drinking (sparkling water with magnesium and fucking unicorn farts for vibes and gay shit). She will not shut up about this shit.
Of course, she proclaims that it’s time to go to bed - which means it’s time to talk about Severance or whatever because whatever. Blah blah blah. Guess they’re going to watch more TV at bedtime. Sure seems that’s her habit. Then she’s going off about watching ‘spoiler shows’ that show all the shit in the show she’s watching that she wouldn’t notice because she’s a brainless dingdong.
GAH!! Next morning and she has green shit under her eyeballs. Daylight savings time has hit, and Anderson is up and Alex is suffering and groggy. Apparently Anderson figured out how to roll from back to belly during the night and got stuck.
She shows off her ‘coffee’ and it looks more like... watered down chocolate milk. But hey, I like my coffee as black as my soul.
Oh, that's the end. Great.
Going to make chicken Alfredo and wants to try a ‘new’ method to make ‘juicy chicken’ because apparently she ‘makes (her) chicken like this’ and she wants to spread the word. Because her followers are apparently dumb as a rock and incapable of doing their own research.
She gives us the ‘awesome’ secret to juicy chicken - sear it in a pan, then add water and cover it with a lid to steam cook it.
FFS, please people, there’s ways to steam cook a bird, and doing it with fucking water ain’t it. Not unless you don’t believe in seasoned chicken.
DC4L’s secret to tasty chicken: If doing parts (especially breasts), season it how you want it to be seasoned (I personally adore chili powders - if I have heat-adverse company, I use lemon pepper, or perhaps some orange zest and salt. Sometimes garlic, rosemary, thyme and oregano if I’m feeling fancy), get a pan with some nice hot virgin olive oil in it, sear that shit for 4-5 minutes per side depending on how thick your cut is, then turn off the heat and cover the pan. The chicken will rest and soak in all of its own juices while the latent heat of the pan keeps it warm. Done. Fuck this water nonsense - that’s gross.
DC4L’s secret to tasty chicken if you’re doing the whole fucking bird: Do a dry rub of whatever the fuck you love all over the skin and sprinkle that delicious concoction inside the bird’s cavity as well. If you’re getting crazy, do an injection marinade (I do this with turkeys). Put on a rack in a large roasting pan (if you don’t have a rack for your roaster, make a figure 8 out of tinfoil and toss it on that - that’s what I do for my giant roaster when I do turkeys). Pour in beer (or any liquor of your choosing, actually) until it’s just a couple millimeters below the bottom of the bird on the rack. Cover the roaster with a lid - if you don’t have a lid, make one out of tinfoil. Just ensure you have a nice, tight fit and the bird’s not being contacted. Bake for the recommended time for the weight of the bird minus 30 minutes - for that last 30 minutes, take the lid off and let the bird keep cooking. The initial cook time will make a juicy bird that tastes like your delicious liquor and your dry rub had a happy marriage and produced a bouncing baby flavor, and the final 30 minutes will give you crispier skin than you’d get just steam-baking your bird. (If it’s a small bird, shove a beer can up its ass and cook it upright on that if you want to bypass the rack in a roaster method - just ensure you have a pan under the can in case the bird falls over or the beer boils over).
Once again, PLEASE don’t boil your chicken. If you must steam, use something with flavor, not water. Ugh. My soul weeps for poor Yar and his flavorless chicken world.
DC4L’s secret to tasty chicken if you’re doing the whole fucking bird: Do a dry rub of whatever the fuck you love all over the skin and sprinkle that delicious concoction inside the bird’s cavity as well. If you’re getting crazy, do an injection marinade (I do this with turkeys). Put on a rack in a large roasting pan (if you don’t have a rack for your roaster, make a figure 8 out of tinfoil and toss it on that - that’s what I do for my giant roaster when I do turkeys). Pour in beer (or any liquor of your choosing, actually) until it’s just a couple millimeters below the bottom of the bird on the rack. Cover the roaster with a lid - if you don’t have a lid, make one out of tinfoil. Just ensure you have a nice, tight fit and the bird’s not being contacted. Bake for the recommended time for the weight of the bird minus 30 minutes - for that last 30 minutes, take the lid off and let the bird keep cooking. The initial cook time will make a juicy bird that tastes like your delicious liquor and your dry rub had a happy marriage and produced a bouncing baby flavor, and the final 30 minutes will give you crispier skin than you’d get just steam-baking your bird. (If it’s a small bird, shove a beer can up its ass and cook it upright on that if you want to bypass the rack in a roaster method - just ensure you have a pan under the can in case the bird falls over or the beer boils over).
Once again, PLEASE don’t boil your chicken. If you must steam, use something with flavor, not water. Ugh. My soul weeps for poor Yar and his flavorless chicken world.
She blathers about getting her hair done the next day. Trying to find ‘inspo’ pics. Because she can’t describe shit. Makes a ‘protein sodie’ which makes me wanna smack her.
She doesn’t have Hello Fresh, so she’s making chicken Alfredo - aka: she has pasta (IT’S SHO GUUUUD), a jar of Alfredo sauce, broccoli, baguettes that are pre-sliced and flavored (SHO GUUD) and chicken breast.
My brain is slowly dying as she makes her chicken. Salt, powder, garlic and onion powder, paprika. But… she didn’t season the side she laid down in the pan first. She seasons the side that’s up… then flips the already seared breast filets and seasons the side… that’s seared. So that seasoning isn’t seared onto the meat, it’s just… sitting there. Aaaaauuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh. And now she’s poured water into the pan and has it covered in the pan.
Beer break. Because I can’t watch her mangle this shit.
Pasta cooked, she adds the ENTIRE jar of Alfredo. Pulls her chicken out of the pan to ‘let it rest’ on a cutting board. Instead of, ya know, not drowning it in water that washed 90% of her seasoning off her chicken and letting it rest in the pan. Fucking dunce.
Yeah, fuck her cooking shit. I can’t. Just gonna happily drink until something else comes on.
Serving, Yar is making Chewbacca sounds.
Next day. She’s going to go get her hair done. She still doesn’t have any hair ideas. Alex is a dunderhead who can’t use her words to describe her fucking hair. She plunks around on her phone to find a TikToker with good hair that she wants to copy.
Going to have ‘a little mommy time’ as she sits and watches YouTube while doing her makeup. Da fuk.
Makeup montage. Always fun seeing just how much her foundation on her face clashes with the rest of her skin. Looks like a terrible attempt at geisha makeup.
Her hair is now blond. I’ll say that it doesn’t look bad, but her filter is going absolutely fucking nuts. (Don’t trust me on hair, though - I have no sense of style.)
It feels SHO GUUUD to be fully back blond.
Ugh, the more she touches it the rattier it looks. STOP IT.
Shills her outfit. Literally drawstring pants and a square neck t-shirt.
Proclaims she feels like herself now that she’s blond again. Anderson’s down for a nap, so she’s going to ‘chill out for a bit’ and going to watch more fucking television. I have no idea about any of these shows and give precisely zero shits.
Next day. Saturday family trip to Barnes & Noble. ‘So nostalgic coming here for some reason.’ She asks what book everyone’s reading right now, says she can’t read the Handmaiden’s Tale right now, then talks about how everyone needs to either read or listen to the audiobook for ‘The Let Them Theory.’ Never heard of it. Quick glance online tells me that it’s an Oprah-endorsed self-help book. I think I shall instead continue to read ‘I, Robot’, thank you very much.
Alex proclaims she’s into audiobooks because they’ve been walking a lot. Ya know, instead of gorging yourself on YouTube and TV shows, you could always… read. It’s amazing.
…. Pardon me. I am dying. She just recognized Hodor and picks up ‘Beyond the Throne’… then says they need to make a spin-off series. While holding ‘Beyond the Throne.’ Meaning she’s likely in the vicinity of other ‘Game of Thrones’ books. Has she never picked up ‘Fire and Blood’?
I know, I know. It’s stupid to assume she reads. She specifically says she wants to watch it, so… she wants to watch the House of the Dragon series that’s based on ‘Fire and Blood’ I guess…?
My brain, it hurts.
Yar tries to get her to look at cookbooks. She bobbles over and starts flipping through one, spazzing about pigeon pie.
Then she goes over to the gift section because fuck books.
‘Babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’ ‘babe’
At least Yar’s shooting down some of her consoooomerism. She tries to get him to get a keyboard coozie shelf (one of those fucking things you put shit onto and slide your keyboard underneath when you’re not using it - pointless desk clutter) and he goes ‘noooooo.’
Alex spergs about the fucking joke memo pads. CONSOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
Alex complains that she tries to read to Anderson, but he doesn’t care about it. Then cuts to her at home - they’re going to go visit Yar’s family, and she’s going to go bake browned butter chocolate chip cookies and eat food.
All the way to night, it’s 2030, Anderson’s in bed, she’s ‘pooped’. They had fun with Yar’s ‘fam’. She spergs about how awesome browned butter cookies are. Then she goes on and on about the shit she’s drinking (sparkling water with magnesium and fucking unicorn farts for vibes and gay shit). She will not shut up about this shit.
Of course, she proclaims that it’s time to go to bed - which means it’s time to talk about Severance or whatever because whatever. Blah blah blah. Guess they’re going to watch more TV at bedtime. Sure seems that’s her habit. Then she’s going off about watching ‘spoiler shows’ that show all the shit in the show she’s watching that she wouldn’t notice because she’s a brainless dingdong.
GAH!! Next morning and she has green shit under her eyeballs. Daylight savings time has hit, and Anderson is up and Alex is suffering and groggy. Apparently Anderson figured out how to roll from back to belly during the night and got stuck.
She shows off her ‘coffee’ and it looks more like... watered down chocolate milk. But hey, I like my coffee as black as my soul.
Oh, that's the end. Great.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2020
Jesus Christ, these two …
RainbowStarlight
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 4, 2018
idk what it is but there is something unsettling about the depiction of her with her hams around yar. The artist did too well a job.
This art reminds me of some short animation I stumbled across on YouTube,I think it was dutch or something but basically this guy is married to a super morbidly obese feedee and falls in love with his new neighbor. He ends up killing his wife and having sex on top of his wife's body that is the size of a mattress. Fucked up I know, the animation is eerie from what I remember.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
thejackal2
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2023
I know yar had a tragic child hood and was sorta doomed from the start but he's now married to a pretty wealthy woman and could afford to get a better haircut. The buzzcut just isn't working for him. I'd suggest anything to try and flesh out his cone head. Some clean mid length braids would do just fine.
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
No braids while he's still with the National Guard.
That said, we did have some excellent, neatly kept afros aboard each of my ships (Navy regulations are identical to Guard regulations with regards to male hair). One of our kids would pull off his cover (ballcap) and you could watch in fascination as his 'fro would slowly expand and stop at a near perfect 2" bulk around his noggin.
beanbag in a hurry
Got sick of the ALR pic, look at this cat instead.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2019
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
Shit Archive:
Standard clips before retarded intro muzak and crap.
0900, ‘good morning’, has carrot puree all over her pajamas. Bitches about the time change and it throwing off her sleep score. She’s still yawning her fucking face off and it’s 0900. She’s already got Anderson down for a nap. Already been watching television (Good Morning America or whatever) and spergs about how she saw something about the ‘aura ring’ or whatever, and praises it for tracking all sorts of health shit. She loves that it counts housework as working out.
Rubs a stupid laser thing over her face as she blathers about her plans to walk the dog and Anderson because she plans on walking with them and Nancy later.
Then she grouses about the ‘dog poop situation’ in the back yard. Because they never cleaned up after the dogs shit in the snow. So they have dry, old, cold poop. And Alex JUST RAKES THAT SHIT INTO THE WOODS. UGH. So you know the terrible stench you get walking past some properties because they never clean up their dogs’ shit? That’s Alex’s place. Pardon me, I am considering switching out my liquor for bleach just to clear my system of my disgust. Hrk.
Now she’s talking about F1 while smearing shit under her eyes. Talks about how you can treat it as a reality show. Wha. It’s TURN LEFT MOTHERFUCKER. But… I guess she’s watching some ‘behind the scenes drama’ bullshit show or whatever. She admits to not watching the race(s) but watches this show and that catches her up or whatever.
Bitches about comments critiquing her stale as fuck content. She ‘appreciates the feedback’ but she’s proud of herself for her consistency in posting her vlogs and fuck you, she’s going to keep doing it. She’s proud that she’s showing up three times a week. Clap for her, retards! She works so hard to give you this stale as fuck content!! She’s giving it everything she has!! Waaaaah! It’s so disheartening!! Holy shit, she’s still going while I type this crap. I’m drunk and slow-typing, trying to catch my typos as I go. And she’s still going as I numbly let my fingers move over the keyboard. She’s talking about how she loves other boring content creators, so she emulates their boring shit. ‘It was on my heart and I just couldn’t let it go.’ She loves her simple little life and hanging out with Yar and Anderson - if it’s not for you, it’s absolutely fine. She’s not in a position to do shit outside of being a mom. Fuck off, fuckers. But with the weather heating up, the content might switch up a bit - but fuck you, she’s going to just keep filming her life. She’s not playing a character.
FFS, she is advocating being a fat fuck. No caffeine on an empty stomach - go get a cheese stick or something at least. No, fatty, I will gulp all my caffeine on a perfectly empty stomach as I’ve done for more decades than you’ve been alive. She thinks it’s bad for you ‘or something.’ Yeah, ‘or something’ is right - it’s not bad for you. It just promotes more rapid absorption of your inhaled caffeine, meaning it hits you faster. If you’re sensitive to caffeine that can make you jittery as the absorption will be quick and sudden. It can result in nausea if you’re a pussy. Other than that? Nada. Zilch. Zero. You do not have to have food while you merrily drink your black bean juice of life, your Diet Coke, or your caffeine-infused teas. Go do you and enjoy.
Many Hours Later… she’s got wet hair in her kitchen and is standing around in her bra. Because she’s not happy with her hair. She’s going to try her own root tap and do a different toner because it’s more yellow than she wanted. Time for her to fry her own hair. The lady who couldn’t use laminate paper is going to fry her head. Her filter spazes out during all this shit. She’s happily doing this shit based off of videos she’s watched. She’s lecturing like she’s an expert on this shit even though she’s never done it before. Nancy is supplying unnecessary commentary in the background.
SPED-UP HAIR FANANGLING MONTAGE
She shows off her mostly soggy hair. Says it feels much better. ‘She lightened up so much on my head and now it’s perfect.’ She was afraid it’d be splotchy. She still has a harsh root line, so her root tap was kind of ‘meh’.
Nancy is gone after a clip of Bruno rolling in the grass. Alex has her hair up and it looks stupid (not the color, the style). She has formula on her shirt and is going off about what she’s making for dinner and so on and so forth. Is doing shake and bake ‘situation’ or whatever. Will say, that’s a ton of breaded chicken cubes, and because the chicken breast is cubed that means there’s more breading on it than if the breast had been whole. So those went from ‘high calorie’ to ‘really fucking high calorie.’
The bowl of dinner looks… like goop.
I think we have the most fatty fat scene of the entire vlog now. After she blathered about her hair being perfect, she films in the bedroom while they’re watching White Lotus or whatever. Of course, prominent in the scene is a fucking food bowl. While she lays in bed watching television. Maybe I’m biased because I’m used to eating at a dining room table like a human being (and even when apartment living, I had me a cheap little dining room table to eat at - or a stool at the counter to eat). Eating a meal or a ton of snacks in bed is just… yeah, nah bruh.
Tomorrow… admits to not finishing the episode. Merrily blathers more about how she loves her hair so much. She likes ‘all the dimensions’ (that word doesn’t mean what you think it means, Alex) and no longer is into the whole platinum blond thing.
Talks about shooting a reel so she’s going to do better makeup. Then talks about going to a wedding on the weekend. And then does her makeup with the far-too-light foundation that makes her ears look like they’re burning off her skull and her head looking like a ghostly balloon floating above a flushed red field of meat.
Going to post reels of her dresses that she tried on.
Her filters are going absolutely nuts. Her dimensions are constantly changing and it’s hilarious. It’s fascinating watching her have a waist then no longer have a waist and go from brick to hourglass with a step. I particularly love how she goes from ‘giant boobies’ to ‘not so giant as they’re resting on a huge gunt’ as she rotates to the side.
Dogs, Yerba with lower sugar, end of the day, hopes we’re adjusting to the time change, blah blah blah, she loves her viewers, outro muzak.
The End.
0900, ‘good morning’, has carrot puree all over her pajamas. Bitches about the time change and it throwing off her sleep score. She’s still yawning her fucking face off and it’s 0900. She’s already got Anderson down for a nap. Already been watching television (Good Morning America or whatever) and spergs about how she saw something about the ‘aura ring’ or whatever, and praises it for tracking all sorts of health shit. She loves that it counts housework as working out.
Rubs a stupid laser thing over her face as she blathers about her plans to walk the dog and Anderson because she plans on walking with them and Nancy later.
Then she grouses about the ‘dog poop situation’ in the back yard. Because they never cleaned up after the dogs shit in the snow. So they have dry, old, cold poop. And Alex JUST RAKES THAT SHIT INTO THE WOODS. UGH. So you know the terrible stench you get walking past some properties because they never clean up their dogs’ shit? That’s Alex’s place. Pardon me, I am considering switching out my liquor for bleach just to clear my system of my disgust. Hrk.
Now she’s talking about F1 while smearing shit under her eyes. Talks about how you can treat it as a reality show. Wha. It’s TURN LEFT MOTHERFUCKER. But… I guess she’s watching some ‘behind the scenes drama’ bullshit show or whatever. She admits to not watching the race(s) but watches this show and that catches her up or whatever.
Bitches about comments critiquing her stale as fuck content. She ‘appreciates the feedback’ but she’s proud of herself for her consistency in posting her vlogs and fuck you, she’s going to keep doing it. She’s proud that she’s showing up three times a week. Clap for her, retards! She works so hard to give you this stale as fuck content!! She’s giving it everything she has!! Waaaaah! It’s so disheartening!! Holy shit, she’s still going while I type this crap. I’m drunk and slow-typing, trying to catch my typos as I go. And she’s still going as I numbly let my fingers move over the keyboard. She’s talking about how she loves other boring content creators, so she emulates their boring shit. ‘It was on my heart and I just couldn’t let it go.’ She loves her simple little life and hanging out with Yar and Anderson - if it’s not for you, it’s absolutely fine. She’s not in a position to do shit outside of being a mom. Fuck off, fuckers. But with the weather heating up, the content might switch up a bit - but fuck you, she’s going to just keep filming her life. She’s not playing a character.
FFS, she is advocating being a fat fuck. No caffeine on an empty stomach - go get a cheese stick or something at least. No, fatty, I will gulp all my caffeine on a perfectly empty stomach as I’ve done for more decades than you’ve been alive. She thinks it’s bad for you ‘or something.’ Yeah, ‘or something’ is right - it’s not bad for you. It just promotes more rapid absorption of your inhaled caffeine, meaning it hits you faster. If you’re sensitive to caffeine that can make you jittery as the absorption will be quick and sudden. It can result in nausea if you’re a pussy. Other than that? Nada. Zilch. Zero. You do not have to have food while you merrily drink your black bean juice of life, your Diet Coke, or your caffeine-infused teas. Go do you and enjoy.
Many Hours Later… she’s got wet hair in her kitchen and is standing around in her bra. Because she’s not happy with her hair. She’s going to try her own root tap and do a different toner because it’s more yellow than she wanted. Time for her to fry her own hair. The lady who couldn’t use laminate paper is going to fry her head. Her filter spazes out during all this shit. She’s happily doing this shit based off of videos she’s watched. She’s lecturing like she’s an expert on this shit even though she’s never done it before. Nancy is supplying unnecessary commentary in the background.
SPED-UP HAIR FANANGLING MONTAGE
She shows off her mostly soggy hair. Says it feels much better. ‘She lightened up so much on my head and now it’s perfect.’ She was afraid it’d be splotchy. She still has a harsh root line, so her root tap was kind of ‘meh’.
Nancy is gone after a clip of Bruno rolling in the grass. Alex has her hair up and it looks stupid (not the color, the style). She has formula on her shirt and is going off about what she’s making for dinner and so on and so forth. Is doing shake and bake ‘situation’ or whatever. Will say, that’s a ton of breaded chicken cubes, and because the chicken breast is cubed that means there’s more breading on it than if the breast had been whole. So those went from ‘high calorie’ to ‘really fucking high calorie.’
The bowl of dinner looks… like goop.
I think we have the most fatty fat scene of the entire vlog now. After she blathered about her hair being perfect, she films in the bedroom while they’re watching White Lotus or whatever. Of course, prominent in the scene is a fucking food bowl. While she lays in bed watching television. Maybe I’m biased because I’m used to eating at a dining room table like a human being (and even when apartment living, I had me a cheap little dining room table to eat at - or a stool at the counter to eat). Eating a meal or a ton of snacks in bed is just… yeah, nah bruh.
Tomorrow… admits to not finishing the episode. Merrily blathers more about how she loves her hair so much. She likes ‘all the dimensions’ (that word doesn’t mean what you think it means, Alex) and no longer is into the whole platinum blond thing.
Talks about shooting a reel so she’s going to do better makeup. Then talks about going to a wedding on the weekend. And then does her makeup with the far-too-light foundation that makes her ears look like they’re burning off her skull and her head looking like a ghostly balloon floating above a flushed red field of meat.
Going to post reels of her dresses that she tried on.
Her filters are going absolutely nuts. Her dimensions are constantly changing and it’s hilarious. It’s fascinating watching her have a waist then no longer have a waist and go from brick to hourglass with a step. I particularly love how she goes from ‘giant boobies’ to ‘not so giant as they’re resting on a huge gunt’ as she rotates to the side.
Dogs, Yerba with lower sugar, end of the day, hopes we’re adjusting to the time change, blah blah blah, she loves her viewers, outro muzak.
The End.
Last edited:
Concerned Citizen
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2025
Make Your Backyard Pop
Alexandra shares her yard work tips and tricks
Bruno does his things in their little yard. No one picks it up.
Alexandra shares her yard work tips and tricks
Bruno does his things in their little yard. No one picks it up.
Artificial Baits
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2021
Why do her or her husband not walk their dog? What is it with all these fat cows wanting dogs and walk them?
Also if she can't even be fucked to walk their dog, I fear for little Anderson and his further development. Dogs and humans are not the same, but being a lazy fuck is being a lazy fuck
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2018
Dude... she has literally recorded herself bobbling along slowly while walking the dogs and pushing the stroller. I don't think she walks them /far/, but they do get outside on slow pleasure strolls when the weather is nice. Plus Alex mentioned that Nancy will come walk the dogs, too.
She probably just lets them go shit in the back yard when it's less than 60F outside and she can't be assed to go walk because it's cold.
Concerned Citizen
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2025
Small dogs should have access to food at all times. They nibble. So unlike big dogs who are fed once or twice a day, they have a tendency to poop more frequent. Nothing wrong with letting a dog poop in your yard, but Alex and Yarman tend to grow quite the collection back there. And that just stinks.
I have also seen her walking Bruno in her videos. Doesn't seem like Yarman does at all, though. Strange, since he shoulders a lot of work for the baby. Perhaps not a dog person?
I have also seen her walking Bruno in her videos. Doesn't seem like Yarman does at all, though. Strange, since he shoulders a lot of work for the baby. Perhaps not a dog person?
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2021
(Bold is mine) Forgive me for going off topic but I'm wildly interested on if you have a source on that because I have literally never heard that before in my life.
Concerned Citizen
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2025
To ensure the dietary needs of small dogs it is usual to feed them more frequent than medium and big dogs. This is most commonly done by allowing them access to food 24/7, as this is easier on all.
There. I got to play google today. I hope for your dogs sake you learn something about its needs.
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2021
I recommend rechecking your sources because neither of them suggested free feeding or allowing small dogs to graze, only feeding appropriate sized food formulated for the size of your dog.
Would you like to try again?
Hippy Dippy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2020
There are 1000 reasons why the shit needs to be picked up and removed immediately after the dog has pooped. Every single fucking time. Right after he’s done.
But the most important one is because it’s terribly hard on poor Bruno. Look, we know neither one of them cares about that dog, but this is inexcusable. He needs to have a fresh, clean area without poo hanging around to do his business. No wonder the poor thing has an anus issue. He’s terrified and confused.
Ah, America. Where you can be wealthy without brains, support your pedophile father without reprimand, birth a child and ignore it, and make your dog shit in a backyard full of exposed fecal matter. You can take the idiots out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the idiots. Disgusting.
But the most important one is because it’s terribly hard on poor Bruno. Look, we know neither one of them cares about that dog, but this is inexcusable. He needs to have a fresh, clean area without poo hanging around to do his business. No wonder the poor thing has an anus issue. He’s terrified and confused.
Ah, America. Where you can be wealthy without brains, support your pedophile father without reprimand, birth a child and ignore it, and make your dog shit in a backyard full of exposed fecal matter. You can take the idiots out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the idiots. Disgusting.
Just A Dog
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 30, 2024
News to me too.
I'm a veterinarian.
beanbag in a hurry
Got sick of the ALR pic, look at this cat instead.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2019
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