Alexandra Rodriguez / Alexandra Irene Thomas / Learning to be Fearless - pathological liar, fake BoPo advocate, professional dropout, apex consumer, great big fatty, now a mother

beanbag in a hurry said:

WALMART SHOPPING, VIRAL LUNCH BOWL RECIPE + GRWM FOR A WEDDING | VLOG​



Fawning over easter shit in true Fat Alex style.
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ETA:

Aka: Wasting time summarizing this boring slab of bullshit while waiting for laundry to finish in the dryer.

Opens with standard clips before vlog title screen. Welcomes us to a new vlog. Shows off her new drink - a blue can of whatever that she should substitute water for, because her fat ass doesn’t need this shit. She gripes about how Aloni has reformulated their stuff.

French pins for her hair? Something she saw online, of course. She says it’s ‘sensory overload’ to have hair on her face. Which is appropriated language, ya turd. She has an urge to cut it, but she’s also wanted to grow her hair past her dangling boobies. Dangles ‘French pins’ in front of the camera, will include a link of course. Random blathering about bullshit while she tries to find a video to show herself how to put fucking combs into her hair. Then she shows us what she’s doing, explaining things like she’s an expert and we’re retarded.

She fails, though, just like she did with laminate paper.

Waiting for Anderson to wake up so she can run to Walmart. Apparently it’s been forever since she’s gone and fatly touched things there. Costco is open, too, but she doesn’t have time to go there because there’s ‘construction guys’ doing things at her house and they’re going to a wedding the net day or whatever.

HAIR CLIP MONTAGE. Full of fail. She looks like a fat retarded toddler. She thinks it looks real cute even though it’s lopsided as fuck.

And of course, now it’s time to make herself look ghoulishly mismatched with her bloated pale blimp head hovering above the red meat field. Yammers as she smears shit on her face. Her audience chose the navy dress for her to wear to the wedding. She whines that her heart was really with the first one, so FUCK YOU VIEWERS. She’s going to wear the stretchy multi-colored one she wore first where her filters were glitching the fuck out and making her oscillate between having a waist and being a brick. And of course she advertises her makeup while she plasters shit on her face.

Mentions that it’s going to make it up to 50F (10C, metric frens) and she’s wearing short sleeves. Feels that they’ve made it to Spring. Not quite, dipshit - first day is officially March 20th, no matter what your damned weather tells you. So says planetary alignment to the sun and axial tilt.

She then smears random lip tint on her lips. Fail. Covers it up with lip gloss.

Now Walmart time. Goes around and touches random Easter shit. LOTS of random Easter shit. Toucha touch touch touch touch. Plenty of time checking out peeps flavors, as is to be expected. ObSeSsEd with so much shit she has no need for.

Back home. Shows off the bullshit she got. Going to make a ‘viral protein lunchable’ bullshit thing. So yeah, groceries for dinner, got a glass, got dog teething shit, more groceries. Makes bowls for lunch. OH - she meant lunch bowl. Fuck. I can’t understand fat mumblefucking anymore.

She cuts away from her cooking, because apparently she had a bad ‘tummy-ache’ and didn’t bother making the lunch bowl. Next day, so now she’s doing the bowl. Whatever. Hair looks like shit, has junk on her shirt. Threatens us with a ‘get ready with me’ for the wedding that evening. Because Yar’s working, she can’t go to the nail salon, so she buffed her nails off instead.

Blathers about food. Pardon me while I zone out.

COOKING MONTAGE.

Makes her bullshit ‘aesthetic’ like ‘all these people do.’ Because she has no originality and no independent thoughts. Has to call everything ‘she’ because of course she does.

JEEZUS FUCKING CHRIST - rough calorie estimate, assuming 1/2 lb lean ground beef, 1 1/2 cups sweet potatoes, 1/2 avocado, 1/2 cup cottage cheese and 1 tbsp hot honey is 950 for that bowl. And note that she said that Yar’s at work, and 1/2 of the 1 lb of ground beef would get set aside for nachos. That’s about how much I eat for dinner (lunch and breakfast are very small, typically 200-400 calories max), but I also cycle like a damned fiend and run pretty regularly - when you burn 500-1,000 calories a day, taking in 1,500-2,000 calories a day isn’t an issue.

Alex, this is why you’re a fucking balloon animal.

And you know she washed it down with a non-zero calorie drink.

Fucking hell. Now it’s her getting ready for the wedding. Plasters more makeup on her face than normal, trying to hide her chins with lame contouring (which she proclaims makes her look like she lost 40 lbs).

Takes out her hair rolls to see what she’s done. She proclaims there’s so much volume. It looks the same as always. She’s disappointed with how her hair turned out. Then she says she’s pretty happy with how it turned out and will fuck around with it.

Cut: she’s in her dress. She cut her bangs because she has been fucking with her hair. It looks even more horrendous. Her ‘bangs’ are shit and it’s hilarious. She tried to cut her hair based on tutorials. I’ll say that of this entire clusterfuck, the last couple minutes are almost worth it.

She finished up. It looks… like she’s to a mid-grade restaurant. Hopefully this wedding isn’t an overly formal affair.

TL;DR: Alex fucks around with her hair trying to figure out how to keep it out of her face, then goes to Walmart to touch everything fatly. Comes back, makes a high calorie lunch bowl, then gets ready for the wedding. Fucks up her hair completely at the end, going so far as to try and cut bangs for herself based on youtube tutorials. Watch the last 3 minutes for the lolz, but nothing else - the rest is typical boring filler garbage.
 
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beanbag in a hurry said:

WEEKEND VLOG: COSTCO GRAND OPENING + "HEALTHY" DESSERT BARK​



She sure as shit is manic.
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I'll reeeeecap this tonight. Very late tonight. Because I need booze after the last one, so a trip to the package store is in order.
 
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Diet Coke 4 Life said:
I'll reeeeecap this tonight. Very late tonight. Because I need booze after the last one, so a trip to the package store is in order.
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Honestly, don’t do it to yourself. Alex isn’t worth it. I haven’t watched this vlog, but guaranteed it won’t be worth 25 minutes of my life, and certainly won’t be worth even more of yours,
 
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Alex has a Mom Rant on Instagram



rant1.pngrant3.pngrant5.png
 
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Poor Alex, wants to make the rules of the internet again. How about instead of “if you don’t like it, don’t watch, and don’t comment”, she tries the if you can’t handle your job (aren’t “made” for it), get a different job.
 
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I call shenanigans said:
Poor Alex, wants to make the rules of the internet again. How about instead of “if you don’t like it, don’t watch, and don’t comment”, she tries the if you can’t handle your job (aren’t “made” for it), get a different job.
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No shit. Haven’t followed her story too long but she seems to be doing fairly well financially from it.

There are very few jobs where the worker gets to set their work conditions. Alex chooses her video topics, how she presents them, the setting and what she wears. Frequency of uploads is up to her. Hell, everything about it is up to her.

She can stop bitching any time.
 
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