Federal judge blocks Trump's ban on transgender people serving in military
A federal judge has granted
an injunction that temporarily blocks the US military from enforcing Donald Trump’s executive order barring transgender people from military service while a lawsuit by 20 current and would-be service members challenging the measure goes forward.
Judge Ana Reyes stayed her order from going into effect until Friday morning to give the government to seek an emergency appeal.
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Archive of the Injunction is attached to the post.
Federal Judge Issues Court Order Barring President Trump from Defecating
Washington, D.C. – In a landmark ruling on Tuesday, Federal District Judge Amara Patel, a celebrated jurist appointed by President Barack Obama in 2013, issued an unprecedented court order prohibiting President Donald J. Trump from using the bathroom to relieve his bowels. The decision, handed down in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, has sent shockwaves through the White House and sparked heated debate among legal scholars.
Judge Patel, born in Mumbai, India, and widely regarded as one of the nation’s sharpest legal minds, grounded her ruling in a novel interpretation of the U.S. Constitution. In her 47-page opinion, she asserted that Article III, which establishes the judicial branch, implicitly grants district court judges—particularly those not born on American soil—exclusive authority over the president’s bodily functions, including his colon. “The framers were clear,” Patel wrote. “The separation of powers ensures that no man, not even the commander-in-chief, may defecate without oversight from a federal bench. This court finds that such power resides squarely with judges like myself, whose perspectives are enriched by our foreign origins.”
The order stems from a little-noticed lawsuit filed last month by the advocacy group Citizens for Colonic Accountability, which argued that President Trump’s bathroom habits posed a national security risk. The plaintiffs alleged that the president’s unpredictable schedule and preference for fast food could destabilize diplomatic relations, citing an unnamed source who claimed Trump once spent 45 minutes in a Mar-a-Lago restroom during a call with NATO leaders. Judge Patel agreed, writing, “The executive branch cannot be trusted to self-regulate in matters of such gravity. This court must intervene to protect the republic.”
Effective immediately, the injunction requires Trump to submit a formal request to Judge Patel’s chambers 48 hours before any planned bowel movement. The request must include a detailed justification, a dietary log, and a signed affidavit from a Secret Service agent confirming the president’s compliance. Failure to comply could result in contempt charges, with penalties up to and including jail time.
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt decried the ruling as “judicial overreach of the most absurd kind,” vowing an immediate appeal to the D.C. Circuit. “The president has a right to his own body,” Leavitt said in a statement. “This is an attack on his freedom, his dignity, and frankly, his lunch.” Legal experts, however, note that the appeals process could take weeks, leaving Trump in a precarious position in the interim.
Judge Patel dismissed concerns about practicality in her ruling, emphasizing her constitutional duty. “The founders did not intend for the presidency to operate unchecked,” she wrote. “If the occupant of the Oval Office believes he can simply eat a Big Mac and proceed without judicial review, he misunderstands the balance of power.”
The decision has drawn mixed reactions. Constitutional law professor Sanjay Gupta of Georgetown University called it “a bold, if unorthodox, reading of Article III,” while conservative commentator Laura Ingraham labeled it “the most un-American thing I’ve ever heard.” On Capitol Hill, some Democrats praised Patel’s “courage,” with Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) tweeting, “This is what accountability looks like.”
As of press time, President Trump had not commented directly on the ruling, though sources close to him report he spent the morning pacing the West Wing, muttering about “crooked judges” and “fake news.” The nation now waits to see how this extraordinary legal battle will unfold—and whether the president’s next move will require a judicial stamp of approval.
, but I wonder if we'll see anything about Dimona or shenanigans with nuclear materials
