Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

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  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 197 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 792 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,392
So he preemptively shits on the movie only to like it and suck Disney cock for his review. Amazing. He loves shoveling Disney sloppa as much as he loves shoveling food sloppa

And somehow he even managed to bitch about the fact that there wasn't anything bad in the movie, even though he set himself up for it. But it didn't end up hurting the score? So why even bitch about it?
He probably wanted to get angry because the way everyone talked about it is if Snow White is the Holy Grail of Woke media, but it turns out its just another shitty Disney Live Action Remake and Jack believes Disney is in a renaissance that happened since The Marvels.

Anyway archived the video in case he deletes it due to a sudden change in opinion.

 
Guess Jack Scalfatty's fried rice. The other was made by another lolcow.
scalfatty.jpg
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He probably wanted to get angry because the way everyone talked about it is if Snow White is the Holy Grail of Woke media, but it turns out its just another shitty Disney Live Action Remake and Jack believes Disney is in a renaissance that happened since The Marvels.

Anyway archived the video in case he deletes it due to a sudden change in opinion.

View attachment 7121606
So like usual Fatty has no idea what the fuck he watched, and manages to have an opinion counter to everyone else, because of all the companies he likes to suck off it's Disney. Says he got comfortable halfway through the movie, it means halfway through the movie his brain finally shut off trying to process a blurry mess on screen.
 
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Are you Jack's rice is the one with broccoli and more vegetables despite how he believes that vegetables are evil and poison
I know, add to that, the rice on the right looks far more attractive, composed and healthy, none of which I'd ever associate with Jack. If it's his slop, I'll be surprised for once.

EDIT: It IS his rice, just from 2014 before Charles convinced him green vegetables will kill him. Maybe the high water mark of Jack's competence, and even that isn't all that great.
 

MIRACLE NOODLES: THE LOW CARB PASTA REVOLUTION​

(03/21/24)

Original:
Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=gksnFOB2NbY
Of course he's still larping that he's on carnivore.

Also that looked like absolute crap. Why the fuck would you make an "Alfredo" sauce to go with cajun shrimp?

I noticed he also had peanut butter on the counter while he was making this, so it could have been even worse (yes, that’s possible).
Plain, uncooked, non-cajun shrimp could have been turned into a Thai inspired dish with these noodles and it could have included peanut butter.

Sure it wouldn't have been anywhere near authentic and still looked like shit but the peanut butter would have made sense.

He probably wanted to get angry because the way everyone talked about it is if Snow White is the Holy Grail of Woke media, but it turns out its just another shitty Disney Live Action Remake and Jack believes Disney is in a renaissance that happened since The Marvels.

Anyway archived the video in case he deletes it due to a sudden change in opinion.

View attachment 7121606
Just more evidence that Fatty only sees what he wants to see.

The movie is woke because of the message. It's no longer a love story. It's no longer that Snow White is kissed by the handsome prince but she learns to "be the leader she's always meant to be". That and hiring a Latina to play a character who's name came from the fact she was so pale.

Yeah it might not mean the end of Disney as people have predicted but so far it's not had the opening that Disney would have hoped.

Guess Jack Scalfatty's fried rice. The other was made by another lolcow.
View attachment 7122252
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I knew it wasn't the one on the left because of the chopsticks. Fatty never used those. But, all in all, the one on the left looks terrible. The one on the right looks a lot more pleasant.

Dunno how they taste though.

EDIT: Spelling.
 
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He probably wanted to get angry because the way everyone talked about it is if Snow White is the Holy Grail of Woke media, but it turns out its just another shitty Disney Live Action Remake
The funny thing is Jack clearly does not understand the culture war for this movie. He sat down in the theater expecting (and hoping!) to become oh so very angry but having no clue what he was supposed to become so angry about. And he's the first person to call other people "brainwashed" and "sheeple."

The character is called Snow White in the fairytale because her skin is "as white as snow," and the Disney original made her look that way. But the actress who plays her in the remake is part Hispanic and part Jewish. Her skin tone breaks the lore, and the movie retcons the meaning of her name to be because she was born in a snowstorm.

Whether one cares or not is a different matter, but that is the political statement. The main character's fundaments -- her appearance, name origin, etc. -- have been changed for "racial sensitivity" (in a world where [again, if one cares about such things] Snape is gonna be black in the new Harry Potter show). They're turning the frogs gay and the IPs black!!!

Jack "I Hate Woke" Scalfani -- who thought Storm from X-Men was originally white and was only played by a black actress recently Because DEI -- does profess to care about such things. Hates such things passionately! So it's hilarious he would sit down, watch this and come away thinking "absolutely nothing political happened." I guess because at no point does Snow White talk to the Seven Dwarves about how much she loves Antifa.

And the compound error is of course Jack now LOVES the movie and gave it an A grade, because in his fucked brain something is either worth his adoration or his complete and utter scorn.
 
The funny thing is Jack clearly does not understand the culture war for this movie. He sat down in the theater expecting (and hoping!) to become oh so very angry but having no clue what he was supposed to become so angry about. And he's the first person to call other people "brainwashed" and "sheeple."

The character is called Snow White in the fairytale because her skin is "as white as snow," and the Disney original made her look that way. But the actress who plays her in the remake is part Hispanic and part Jewish. Her skin tone breaks the lore, and the movie retcons the meaning of her name to be because she was born in a snowstorm.

Whether one cares or not is a different matter, but that is the political statement. The main character's fundaments -- her appearance, name origin, etc. -- have been changed for "racial sensitivity" (in a world where [again, if one cares about such things] Snape is gonna be black in the new Harry Potter show). They're turning the frogs gay and the IPs black!!!

Jack "I Hate Woke" Scalfani -- who thought Storm from X-Men was originally white and was only played by a black actress recently Because DEI -- does profess to care about such things. Hates such things passionately! So it's hilarious he would sit down, watch this and come away thinking "absolutely nothing political happened." I guess because at no point does Snow White talk to the Seven Dwarves about how much she loves Antifa.

And the compound error is of course Jack now LOVES the movie and gave it an A grade, because in his fucked brain something is either worth his adoration or his complete and utter scorn.
I think this is proof that Jack mainly just hates black people because he'd do a different review if the Snow White actress was black instead of a lighter skinned Latina
 
I know, add to that, the rice on the right looks far more attractive, composed and healthy, none of which I'd ever associate with Jack. If it's his slop, I'll be surprised for once.

EDIT: It IS his rice, just from 2014 before Charles convinced him green vegetables will kill him. Maybe the high water mark of Jack's competence, and even that isn't all that great.

So which cow made the one on the left? Gotta be honest I’ve eaten stuff that looked like that when travelling. Sometimes it was okay.
 
Jack presenting himself as an arbiter of purity in the realm of healthy eating is funny enough on its face. Then he promotes ultra-processed fake noodles and just adds another layer of absurdity. It’s not even chutzpah, just plain ignorance and stupidity.

I noticed he also had peanut butter on the counter while he was making this, so it could have been even worse (yes, that’s possible).
The Lime water ayygs are on the back counter chilling

Only 14 more months until Jack cracks them open to eat. They may last longer than Jack
 
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I couldn't give less of a shit about the new Snow White, but Fatty has been so offended by it that his review should be great. I wonder what Hammy is stuffing her snout with?
Totally dead eyes. You could tell me this is a dude in a coma and I'd believe it. Just a mindless, brainless animal staring emptily into space.
 
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