Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Neko GF]

CASA VIEJA 2ND LOOK, HENDERSONVILLE, TN​

(03/26/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=AtymTB5XCvs

Spoiler: Local Archive

 

[Enig]

Jack is sat on his dog fart blanket, at his designated end of the Scalfanis' sectional sofa, using his own cauldron of a gut for a table. Tammy and their two guests are sat close together on the other end, with TV trays in front of them. The guests meekly pick at their cold Bojangles chicken while Tammy loudly takes a bite of one item at a time from her fully loaded plate of sides she didn't offer anyone else.

Guest 1: "So...I notice you have two kitchens. Do you cook a lot?."

Tammy: "Jack? JACK! Are you hungry, Jack?." *Jack nods and rapidly blinks with his left eye*

Tammy: "Okay. Jack - Did you make a boom-boom?." *Jack nods and rapidly blinks with his left eye*

Tammy: *exasperated sigh/yawn while massaging her own forehead fat rolls with all ten fingers* "Alright - Uh-Everyone, just keep watching Blue's Clues - Me and Jack-" *loud, percussive fart like a goose with pneumonia flew out of her ass* "Ow! Me and Jack need to take a quick shower." [pronounced "chow-uhr"]

Tammy wheels Jack toward the bathroom, both horrifyingly snail-like in the way they each leave a trail of brown grease that smells like a barn.

Guest 2: "Uh...So how do you know them?"

Guest 1: "I don't!."

Guest 2: "Oh. Uh...They um...they offered to pay me with dinner for appearing in a video she said the husband needed to record for 'God Month.' I think he has Lou Gehrig's disease or something."

Guest 1: "Oh my gosh."

Guest 2: "Yeah. They don't seem to have any frien-."

*Pair of shower heads loudly burst to life in adjacent room, spitting hard water with granules of sand as pipes rattle violently within walls*

Guest 1: *gasp*

Tammy (clearly overheard via unflattering acoustics of shoddy pole barn): "BAD!." *wet, slapping sound* "BAD JACK!. YOUR FINGERS HAVE SHIT ALL OVER THEM - YOU DON'T PUT THOSE IN MY VAGINA UNTIL THEY'RE CLEAN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? CLEAN! JACK? JACK! WHAT'S ALL THIS? OH, JESUS CHRIST - JACK, YOU HAVE OLD SHIT ALL OVER YOUR BALLS."

*wet slap*

Jack: "MMNNOH!."

Tammy: "That's what you get! When I asked earlier if you had an accident, you said 'No.' YOU SAID 'NO', JACK! GIVE ME YOUR HAND!."

Jack: "MMNNOH!."*overheard retching and vomiting what sounds like hard marbles*

Tammy: "IF I HAVE TO SMELL IT, YOU HAVE TO SMELL IT!."

Guest 2, knocking on bathroom door: "HI - MANDY, WE HAVE TO GO! THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH FOR INVITING US! I HOPE YOUR HUSBAND STARTS FEELING BETTER. GOODBYE!" *pregnant pause after receiving no reply* "GOODBYE!."

Jack: "MMNNOH!."

You didn’t need to post that.

 

[Barsik]

CASA VIEJA 2ND LOOK, HENDERSONVILLE, TN​

(03/26/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=AtymTB5XCvs

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 7138923

Why the fuck does his tongue keep flying out while he's speaking



Also, he says ground beef = dog food, but last JOTG video he was gushing about the amount of ground beef Tammy was stuffing her face with while he sat there breathing heavily

Later in the video, shows Tammy eating the "dog food", says she likes it. Cut to the car, she's now completely shitting on it?? Did Jack tell her to shit on it off cam because ground beef = dog food?
"When I first tried it because of the cheese and the red sauce it had good flavor" but then she proceeds to shit on it anyways, because the ground beef by itself isn't good enough??

And OF COURSE, fatty complains about ground beef being "the cheapest meat" because it's always about cost with him. Then goes on to say they do have steak and chicken... so if you KNOW you don't want ground beef, why are you ordering it? Oh yeah, just to whine about it of course...

 

[Neko GF]

Why the fuck does his tongue keep flying out while he's speaking

I'm guessing it's one of his (many) stroke side effects. But really knows what's going on with Salmonella Man.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

It's always the same with these types. They're not big on specifics just vague concepts.

Fatty thinks that not loving Donald Trump and Republicans should be a jailable and executable offense

 

[densedance]

Self pro-claimed Yudoob Chef saying "Ground Meat is Dog food". Maybe he tried to be "edgy" or something, but I am not suprised that he has no respect for products, let alone the animals that die for it.

> Also he's too much of a pennypincher to order Steak instead.

 

[Adamska]

And OF COURSE, fatty complains about ground beef being "the cheapest meat" because it's always about cost with him. Then goes on to say they do have steak and chicken... so if you KNOW you don't want ground beef, why are you ordering it? Oh yeah, just to whine about it of course...

It's almost like the main purpose of ground meats are to maximize the usage of the animal, since you oftentimes in the butchering process have elements that are too small or too tough by themselves to make appetizing cuts or something. Not everyone wants to gnaw on pure eye round like a fucking dog.

His weird pretend-hate over ground beef is comically pointless. Especially since we know he loves things like borgls and tahkos.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

It's almost like the main purpose of ground meats are to maximize the usage of the animal, since you oftentimes in the butchering process have elements that are too small or too tough by themselves to make appetizing cuts or something. Not everyone wants to gnaw on pure eye round like a fucking dog.

His weird pretend-hate over ground beef is comically pointless. Especially since we know he loves things like borgls and tahkos.

He probably thinks it's FAKE MEAT

 

[LifeAlert]

CASA VIEJA 2ND LOOK, HENDERSONVILLE, TN​

(03/26/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=AtymTB5XCvs

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 7138923

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Why the fuck does his tongue keep flying out while he's speaking

View attachment 7138945

It has to be stroke related, because when he talks, I feel like you see a lot more of his tongue than you do with other people, like it's too big for his mouth or something. I actually have to cover up his mouth when he's talking because it's disgusting to look at.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Anyone else notice the description of the new JOTG video is clearly AI-generated?

In this video review of Casa Vieja, a popular Mexican restaurant, we revisit the establishment after a disappointing first experience where the meat was exclusively bland ground beef. Initially underwhelmed by the lack of variety and flavor, we decided to give Casa Vieja a second chance to redeem itself. This time, we explore whether the restaurant has elevated its game—perhaps with juicier cuts, bolder seasonings, or a more authentic flair—to see if it can transform our opinion from lackluster to loco for their flavors. Join us as we dive into the sights, smells, and tastes of this second visit, offering an honest take on whether Casa Vieja is worth a stop or still a skip on the culinary map. details on menu changes

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Anyone else notice the description of the new JOTG video is clearly AI-generated?

Glad it still got the requirement for JOOSY cuts. Instant AI giveaway is the usage of —. No normal human uses those in casual speech.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

This was one of those videos where it was obvious what Jack's verdict was going to be from the moment he revealed the conceit. If Jack bothers returning to a place he previously didn't like:

1. He's out of ideas (though that's never not true)
2. He's going to use it as an opportunity to show how forgiving and magnanimous he is by reversing his decision

 

[Falcon Sebben]

It's almost like the main purpose of ground meats are to maximize the usage of the animal, since you oftentimes in the butchering process have elements that are too small or too tough by themselves to make appetizing cuts or something. Not everyone wants to gnaw on pure eye round like a fucking dog.

His weird pretend-hate over ground beef is comically pointless. Especially since we know he loves things like borgls and tahkos.

The weird part is is how often he eats ground beef. Maybe in a burger or taco or shitty chili soup. But my guess is he feels he's being ripped off if they sell him ground beef and he was expecting strips of steak.

Remember it's all about the juicy meats for him. Ground beef just isn't good enough for an epicure like Fatty.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

The weird part is is how often he eats ground beef. Maybe in a burger or taco or shitty chili soup. But my guess is he feels he's being ripped off if they sell him ground beef and he was expecting strips of steak.

Remember it's all about the juicy meats for him. Ground beef just isn't good enough for an epicure like Fatty.

he's a permanent aggrieved victim

he just needs something to bitch and whinge about

He's just like a fucking whiney liberal

 

[AnOminous]

Jack reviews another movie

How can he never manage not to look as dumb as a guppy even in the thumbnail?

I have to disagree, there: Jack regularly fails to notice all three when recommending films known to contain them. In fact, he regularly fails at everything; and probably shits on the wall.

Case in point, Snow Beaner, which took a steaming bean shit all over one of Disney's most classic movies, and is probably one of their wokest outings yet, but he didn't see any politics. He just knows he's supposed to hate woke, doesn't even actually know what woke is.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Jack shows off more garbage AI art, like is Batman supposed to be Trump here?



Jack thinks the 80s is Peak America



Jack hates NPR for some reason



Jack on sports



Jack wants an Amazon show or more sponsorships with Bezos' help



Jack will make carnivore ice cream or something

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He just knows he's supposed to hate woke, doesn't even actually know what woke is.

Woke has been so overused that now it just means, "stuff on the left that I hate".

Jack thinks the 80s is Peak America

It's when he was young so of course that's the best time.

But on a completely different note that flag only has 40 stars on it meaning it was from 1889-1912. Was America great then?

Jack will make carnivore ice cream or something

That sounds terrifying.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

he's a permanent aggrieved victim

he just needs something to bitch and whinge about

He's just like a fucking whiney liberal

I think it’s more of a Boomer affliction than anything. I know a couple of older guys who are like this. They don’t have meaningful work and so spend their time thinking about themselves and how the world hasn’t lived up to what they feel they deserve. The kind of men who’d make a big fuss with waitstaff or cashiers about some small inconvenience and blow it up with confrontation and a sense of entitlement. That is, they think they are entitled to a smooth, hassle-free life and when they don’t get it, they believe it’s because people have wronged them.

Honestly when I’m tired or haven’t eaten, I can get easily irritated by incompetence that wastes my time or otherwise has a less than perfect impact on the given situation. But I was taught the acronym YET — for “you’re eligible too,” meaning hassle and snafus are part of being a human and I am not owed the easiest, most comfortable life possible. I don’t think Jack ever learned this concept, or how to manage his inner dialogue to minimize self-manufactured friction with others. He might not even have an inner dialogue to begin with.

TL;DR Jack is a cautionary tale about the dangers of being an unproductive member of society who lacks humility.

ETA: Amazon DOES broker deals between brands and influencers. He’s so ignorant it beggars belief.

 

[AnOminous]

Jack shows off more garbage AI art, like is Batman supposed to be Trump here?

Speaking of AI art, has anyone done a Ghibli Jack yet?

Jack will make carnivore ice cream or something

If it's anything but this, he's retarded.

1 pint heavy whipping cream
1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk

Directions
Beat cream in a chilled glass or metal bowl with an electric mixer until soft peaks form; add condensed milk and beat until thick and well combined.

Transfer mixture to a shallow container and cover with plastic wrap; freeze until solid, about 6 hours.

This is actually pretty good although I'd add some genuine vanilla too.

I hope he does do this because it is so simple I can't imagine how even a stroked-out retard like Jack somehow fucks it up.