Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Maggots on a Train v2]

Introducing the Emotional Intelligence Starter Pack, featuring Shrek, Sanrio, and Tess’s newest tee grift

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Tess will get royalties for at least one book when it rolls out in August

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(It’s just this cap on her post. I presume this is from Tess doing a TikTok live?)

>Download a bootleg Dark Crystal font.
>Type 3 words.
>"Graphic designResistance is my passion."

 

[Trombonista]

Obviously she's a fucking moron with FOB (fat on brain), but why are lip gloss and a Kuromi stuffie essential items for emotional intelligence? Does the Japanese children's character whisper affirmations to you?

Shrek is just always a good suggestion in any situation, no notes there.

Come to think of it, Kuromi is a poor choice of Sanrio character, since she's the antagonist of Onegai My Melody.

 

[NoReturn]

Jeep Tessy

Polititessy

"Girly group chats". Aren't you supposed to be against gender-stereotype shaming, Tess?
Aren't we supposed to be destroying the binary?

 

[Clotso Coof]

Jesus, look at her skin.

Jeep Tessy

So she's still able to drive with her fucked up leg in a brace. But at home she's always lying down lately. I'm not sure what that means.

Meanwhile, Ms Super Model is pinning her shitty bangs back with children's barrettes she bought in a pack at a dollar store. Much fashion, such inspiration.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

Plan b prevents the egg from being fertilized. It doesnt abort anything. The grossest thing here is the combination of Tess, sex and that nasty condescending tone.

Also, re: using Plan B or abortion in lieu of birth control... some women are in relationships where the men refuse to wear condoms, and may interfere with her birth control pills. Some teen girls are molested by family members who do likewise, and don't have privacy to take pills or the means to get an implant or IUD (not to mention horror stories of doctors refusing implants or IUDs to girls and younger women.) Sometimes a secret abortion or, preferably, a secret one-time dose of Plan B is all someone has access to. That's who this kind of ad is trying to reach.

I think the confusion is that people discussing the "pill option" aren't always clear whether they're talking about Plan B or Mifegymiso or get them confused because all they know is both of them are taken after the unprotected sex in question. Plan B is essentially just a massive one-time dose of progestogen-only birth control taken at the last possible second, available over the counter. Mifegysimo is totally different, it requires a prescription in most places afaik and is an actual abortifacent that can be used to abort a pregnancy up to about 9 weeks. (There's also ulipristal and the Yuzpe regimen that can function as emergency contraceptives but they're not so common, still require a prescription, and I'm pretty sure it's still being studied whether ulipristal acts as an abortifacent or not).

After 3 pages of ice cream sperging please let's not derail this thread into moralfagging about abortion now. I'll just leave it at saying your mileage may vary about abortion pills but using Plan B regularly in itself isn't especially different from a moral standpoint than taking regular hormonal contraception. It is, however, kind of retarded to rely on regular use of it if you don't have to simply because it's got a higher failure rate than regular use of progestin-only contraceptives (and certainly the combined type, but for the sake of simplicity let's disregard that for now) because you're stuck relying almost entirely on it preventing pregnancy by preventing ovulation in the time-critical period. You don't get the additional protective effects of thickened cervical mucus or uterine lining being too thin to allow proper implantation the way you would with long-term low dose usage. Thus, a higher failure rate, because you could get unlucky with your timing.

Anyway, if Tess of all people is making a video about this it is absolutely ridiculous not to mention a major limitation with Plan B, is that there are known defecits in effectiveness correlated with being FAT AS FUCK. It starts losing effectiveness at about 165-180 pounds actually, but there's no excuse for an elephant like Tess not bringing it up.

 

[thejackal2]

You're not going to recover at her size from a ligament strain that you have to go to the doctor to eval anytime soon. Best case scenario is probably 4-6 weeks. Middle case is probably a couple months and worst case it just never really heals properly. At her weight instability when mobile is a real risk of reinjury; I can't imagine trying to use crutches at 400+ lbs and her ego probably prevents her from using a walker.

She probably strained her MCL is my guess which is involved in lateral stability.

 

[Blerg]

Let’s hope that creepy Oli tranny does not put down the coke straw and come back to ‘lend a hand’. Bowie will suffered enough without having that delightful risk of assault in the picture again.

 

[RainbowStarlight]

I'm kind of surprised that Tess didn't start with her usual crap about "people of all genders uwu" needing abortions.

Do not give her any ideas.

 

[Trombonista]

You're not going to recover at her size from a ligament strain that you have to go to the doctor to eval anytime soon. Best case scenario is probably 4-6 weeks. Middle case is probably a couple months and worst case it just never really heals properly. At her weight instability when mobile is a real risk of reinjury; I can't imagine trying to use crutches at 400+ lbs and her ego probably prevents her from using a walker.

She probably strained her MCL is my guess which is involved in lateral stability.

If Jordan Love needed four weeks to recover from his MCL sprain, Tess will need at least eight weeks.

 

[Unreachable Twat]

The fact that she's redder than ever tells me that something new is going on with her. Blood pressure spike? Stopped covering it up with makeup? Why would a deathfat go this red this fast?

 

[a hapless toad]

The fact that she's redder than ever tells me that something new is going on with her. Blood pressure spike? Stopped covering it up with makeup? Why would a deathfat go this red this fast?

Early menopause causing rosacea?

 

[cactus]

The fact that she's redder than ever tells me that something new is going on with her. Blood pressure spike? Stopped covering it up with makeup? Why would a deathfat go this red this fast?

The 'beetus finally caught up to her?

 

[The Hardest R]

Tubbers consumes nothing but inflammatory foods and drinks. As her health continues to decline, it’s going to manifest in various ways. I’m sure it’s a combination of high blood pressure and inflamed skin. Perfect timing for her big comeback to being a supermodel!

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I completely forgot she had a black cat at some point. I still can’t tell if she’s joking or not because I only remember that one detail.



Reminiscing about the good ol days




Careful. Bowie’s near the age where that can change. Especially if he was turned into her live in caregiver before the age of 10.

 

[Clotso Coof]

Reminiscing about the good ol days

I've never met someone who said, "You're just bitter" who wasn't themselves extremely bitter. It's a much stronger version of "You're just jealous" and indicates great seething.

Interesting that she says there will probably be to a return to great success for anyone who once had success, but then is in "flop era". You can find a much larger group of people who never succeeded again after failing out of Hollywood/modelling.

Come backs are rare. But Tess isn't lying. She really does think she's magically going to have a big come back for some reason.

 

[Dr. Butt]

What's wrong with a "flop era" anyway? The Venture Bros. was a great show. Make the most of your flop. Own your flop. Make flop your brand. Be a professional flopper. A master flopper. An artisan of flopcraft.

 

[burntgrilledcheese]

What's wrong with a "flop era" anyway? The Venture Bros. was a great show. Make the most of your flop. Own your flop. Make flop your brand. Be a professional flopper. A master flopper. An artisan of flopcraft.

Wait was the Venture Bros considered a flop???

I love the venture bros

 

[The Hardest R]

She really does think she's magically going to have a big come back for some reason.

I think it’s because she gets just enough recognition to feed into her delusions. The TEDx talk, the book, etc. Minor items in the scheme of things but it feeds into her ego just enough to think that she’s still got a shot if she gets asked to participate in these other things.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I thought she meant that Bowie wanted a Cinnamoroll themed birthday party and made a typo. She really meant cinnamon rolls?



Apparently Cinnaroll is like Canada’s answer to Cinnabon?

 

[The Queen of Autists]

You're not going to recover at her size from a ligament strain that you have to go to the doctor to eval anytime soon. Best case scenario is probably 4-6 weeks. Middle case is probably a couple months and worst case it just never really heals properly. At her weight instability when mobile is a real risk of reinjury; I can't imagine trying to use crutches at 400+ lbs and her ego probably prevents her from using a walker.

She probably strained her MCL is my guess which is involved in lateral stability.

Maybe she has one of those walker things you put one knee down on and walk with the other leg? And maybe it’s her nondriving leg that got hurt, if so she would be very lucky!